Reunited
by Hank's Lady
Summary: 2ND PLACE IN 'BEST SLASH' CATEGORY OF APRIL 2013 NON-CANON AWARDS. 3RD PLACE IN THE 'TOP 10 FAVOURITE FICS' COMPLETED IN APRIL 2013 ON TWIFANFICTICTIONRECS. Sequel to "United We Fall". Fate united two hearts with an Imprint; can that connection be powerful enough to transcend death? Two boys meet in the future and discover they were always meant for each other. SLASH
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters and am merely borrowing them for the duration of the story. The various new characters introduced to the story are all mine.**

**A/N: This new story is the sequel to "United We Fall" so if you haven't read that, it's probably a good idea if you do or various elements of this won't make sense. Alternatively feel free to PM me with any questions, I'll be happy to answer them.**

**This is more or less an all human story, in as much as the two main characters are all human, although some wolves and vampires will appear later on. **

**The story is rated 'M' for adult themes and it's slash, as are most of my stories, so if you don't like M/M sex, it's not one for you.**

**Thanks to Elfprincess8 for lending me the image of Edward from her story "Terminus Insontis" for the first few chapters of this story - check out her work, she's awesome!**

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**REUNITED**

CHAPTER ONE

**September 10, the year 2102**

_I could feel the wind rushing in my face and tugging at my hair as my feet pounded the earth. I was racing as fast as I could go, panting for breath, looking left and right, desperately searching...searching for something. I didn't know where to look and so I just ran and hoped, while the hole in my chest ached. I was lost._

"Fuck!" I jerked awake and sat up, my upper body slick with sweat and my short hair spiking up in damp clumps. That damned dream again. I hadn't had it in years, not since I was about twelve years old. It was so real, more like a memory of something, although I knew I'd never run through an area like that - or areas. What made it more strange was that each time it had occurred previously, the scenery I saw as I ran was different.

On my tenth birthday, my parents told me something important - something they thought I was old enough to understand. Mom was heavily pregnant with my twin sisters and she and Dad wanted me to know how much they loved me and that the fact they would have to put a lot of time into the new babies didn't mean they suddenly cared any less. It was then that they told me I was adopted - they had _chosen_ me, which made me their special boy.

My parents had thought at the time that Mom couldn't have children. She was twenty-eight and they had already been married six years, so they looked into adoption. At exactly the right time, a two-day-old baby boy was left in the ER of the local hospital and that baby was me. Three weeks after that I went home with Tremaine and Louise Lester and the pair had doted on me ever since.

Knowing I was adopted didn't really make any difference to me on the surface. I was loved and cared for and didn't want for much, but I guess inside I was always curious. Who was my birth mother? Why had she given me up? So when I first had that dream, I immediately assumed it had a meaning - that part of me wanted to find out where I had come from. It made sense that I was searching for my mother, wondering, feeling like part of me was missing.

I never told my parents, even though the dream recurred almost nightly for a couple years. I didn't want to hurt their feelings or make them worry I would go looking for my real mother. I figured she must have given me up because she didn't want me, so why would I go searching when I had loving parents and then two little sisters whom I adored; and whom adored me in return?

By the time I was settled in at the local highschool, work and friends and sports took precedence in my life and the dream didn't come back. It was as if I had accepted I was where I was meant to be and there was no need for me to search for something I could never have.

"Damnit," I muttered now, hauling myself out of bed.

It was six-thirty, way too early to be up on a weekend, but I was strangely unnerved by the dream's reappearance and I headed for the bathroom, deciding to take a quick shower before Claire and Chloe got up and wanted my attention. I stood under the hot spray with my eyes closed, still thinking about running through the forest. I could only assume it was because my life was about to undergo a big change and I was anxious about it.

I was eighteen, about to leave home for college in just a week's time. Seattle was one hundred and sixty-five miles from the Neah Bay Reservation - not far, but far enough for me to only be able to get home for a visit every few weeks. I would miss Mom and Dad and my sisters horribly, I knew, but more than that, I would miss my girlfriend, Suzannah. Not many young Makah people made it to college and Suzannah was not one of those few. She had already started working in the local grocery store and although we had vowed to each other we would stay together, I knew she doubted I would want to keep seeing her when I made a bunch of new friends and got out into the big wide world and in all honesty, I really wasn't sure if we could make it work with her attitude being so negative.

I sighed heavily and got out of the shower, dried myself vigorously and went to make coffee. I was seeing Suzannah later that day. It was Sunday and I was having lunch with her family, then spending the afternoon with her. We would talk about it some more - I would be home again in just a few short weeks for a long weekend. It _would_ work.

After lunch, we walked on the beach and Suzannah told me she wanted us to break up. She didn't want me to feel like I was tied to the Rez for her and she knew she would work herself up into a state every day, worrying about what I might be doing, if I was meeting girls who were smarter, prettier, more outgoing and broadminded, more suited to me, and wonder if I was having fun without her. Strangely as I walked home later, I wasn't heartbroken - I was pissed. She had no faith in me, expected me to leave her or fool around and I thought she was selfish for breaking up with me right before I went away with such high hopes for my future. It almost seemed to me as if she wanted to spoil my excitement by saying 'well, you can't have everything.' Stupid perhaps, but that's how I felt.

I was more resentful than ever that my last week at home was marred by Suzannah throwing away a year-long relationship - one I had thought was good and solid - and also irritated with myself for not making more effort to fight to keep her. I could probably have changed her mind if I had been determined enough, but too much of my mind was on other things. Therefore when Dad drove me to Seattle the following weekend, my belongings packed in the back of the truck, ready to start my four years as a Sports Science major, I found I wasn't looking forward to it half as much as I should have been.

"You alright, son?" Dad asked after I had sat beside him in silence for almost an hour.

"Yes, thanks. Just nervous, I guess," I shrugged.

He reached out and patted my knee. "You'll do fine. You know how proud me and your Mom are; you're the first Lester ever to have gone to college. Just remember, any time you need anything, you only have to call."

"I know. Thanks, Dad."

I relaxed a little and the rest of the journey passed slowly with one stop for gas and food. We arrived on campus just before three o'clock and went looking for my room. The student accommodation blocks included basic rooms which had to make use of communal bathrooms and slightly better ones with en suites. Dad, of course, had paid extra to make sure I got a bed in one of the best rooms and when I opened the door to number 214, I found the room was a decent size with a bed and a small chest at each side and a shared wardrobe and mini-fridge. The bathroom included toilet, sink and shower and was pristine.

There was no sign of my room mate yet and Dad helped me move my boxes of belongings in and put my clothes away in one half of the wardrobe and the chest on the side of the room with the window. Too bad my room mate wasn't here to fight his corner - I was having the window side.

With everything unpacked and the bed made up with the new bedding I had brought, I went out to wave Dad off and watched, feeling a little lost as his truck disappeared from view. Then I took a little time to explore before I headed back to the room. It was Saturday and I had thirty-six hours to orient myself properly before classes started.

My room mate still hadn't arrived and I plugged in the portable television Mom and Dad had bought for me and stood it on top of my chest beside the small new microwave oven they had also given me. I found a sports channel showing a football game and sprawled on the bed, my attention only partly on the game as I thought about Dad driving home, Mom and my sisters back on the Reservation, Suzannah carrying on with her life without me. I felt like something was missing - that stupid dream I'd had last week seemed to have stuck with me and I was still puzzled and annoyed about why it had suddenly decided to bother me again.

About an hour later the door opened and I glanced up as a boy staggered into the room under the weight of a huge suitcase in one hand, a bookbag, a laptop case and another case which looked like it might hold a musical instrument slung over his other shoulder. He dumped the case just inside the door and closed it behind him and I stared in disbelief. Every school or college has at least one weird kid, but why would I have the bad luck to get one of them for a room mate?

I took in jet black, obviously dyed hair, slicked back with enough gel to most likely make it immovable in a hurricane; black eyeliner, an eyebrow piercing, a long black coat and boots with steel toe-caps and about a dozen buckles. His face was impossibly pale, probably not helped by the black hair and clothes and the combination made him look sickly. I hauled myself up reluctantly, deciding I ought to make an effort to get along with him. He was around the same height as me, I realised as I straightened up and I met eyes of a startling shade of green that reminded me of the forest.

_'I know him.'_

The thought surprised me and I frowned. I'd never seen the kid in my life and if I had, I probably would have made a concerted effort to walk in the other direction before I ran into him. But still, there was something...

He stuck his hand out towards me in greeting and I frowned deeper as I noticed the black nail varnish. Jesus.

"Hello. I guess I'm your room mate."

"Do you have a name?" I cocked an eyebrow and shook his hand briefly.

"Um...sorry...it's..."

_'Edward.'_

"...Edward."

His pale skin flushed slightly and I felt the colour begin to leak out of mine. I hadn't really thought of his name a second before he said it; it wasn't possible. Edward certainly wasn't a common name. It must just be...I glanced down and caught sight of the American Airlines address tag on his suitcase which clearly said 'Edward Masen'. I heaved a sigh of relief. Somehow I had seen it when I was looking him up and down.

"I'm Jacob." I sat back down on my bed. "Where are you from?"

"Chicago."

"Don't they have colleges in Chicago?" I blurted.

He looked at me, startled as he laid his laptop case and book bag on the other bed, then opened up the third piece of luggage to reveal an electronic keyboard. Great. He'd probably be playing miserable Goth music at every opportunity.

"I didn't mean that to sound...off," I added grudgingly.

"I wanted to move somewhere new. I'm majoring in American History and the colleges that offered places for that were limited," he said.

"Ok."

"What's your major?"

"Sports Science."

"Are you from Seattle?" he asked.

"No, Neah Bay. It's a Reservation over on the coast, a way past Port Angeles."

He nodded and took his coat off to reveal black jeans and a shirt displaying a skull and a band name I had never heard of. He had a wide leather strap buckled around one wrist, decorated with small silver skulls and a similarly designed belt covered with studs slung low around his hips, used for decoration rather than to hold up his pants. I turned my attention back to the ball game, although I kept glancing over to the other side of the room as Edward put away an endless supply of black pants, black shirts, black sweaters, an assortment of leather and silver jewellery and another pair of boots that looked as if they probably weighed twenty pounds. I couldn't see us getting to be even casual friends and wondered idly what my chances would be of swapping rooms with someone.

Edward didn't speak again. He finished unpacking, took off his boots and placed them neatly at the end of his bed, then pulled out a pair of headphones, plugged them into the keyboard and began to play something. I heard nothing other than the repeated rapid tapping of his fingers on the keys and I was relieved that at least I didn't have to listen to some horrible tune vying with my TV. It didn't occur to me for a second that my loud ball game could bother him in any way. However, by then I was beginning to get hungry and I decided to check out the campus canteen and get some dinner. I pulled on sneakers, grabbed a jacket and left the room without a word.

The canteen was about half full and designed pretty much like the ones in highschools. The people serving the food and clearing the tables were obviously students and it reminded me that I would need to find some sort of part time work. I didn't want to be constantly asking my parents for handouts - they weren't particularly well off and I knew that Dad had borrowed money from the bank to pay for my first year accommodation. I had been lucky enough to win a scholarship for my education, but I wanted to be able to pay my own way for the other things. Searching for a likely position would give me something to do Sunday, I decided.

I ate a pasta dish and a slice of pie for dessert, then returned to the room to relax, tired after a poor night's sleep and the long journey. My weird room mate was still in the room, sitting on his bed with his laptop resting on his thighs, typing something without looking at his fingers, a pair of wire-rimmed glasses perched on his nose and a frown of concentration drawing his brows together. I threw myself onto my own bed and folded my arms behind my head, deciding to at least try to be friendly. I didn't particularly want to get off on the wrong foot.

"What are you doing, Ed? Working already?"

"It's Edward," he said quietly without looking up or ceasing to type. "My minor is Creative Writing, so I'm...creating something."

"Bit of a book worm, are you?" I joked and earned myself a brief glance and a frown. "Joking," I added. "What are you writing?"

"Nothing that would interest you, I don't suppose."

"Try me."

"It's a short fiction."

"Hey, you don't write those sappy romances, do you?" I blurted with a grin.

I couldn't help myself and I knew I was coming across completely wrong - a mixture of nerves about starting college, missing my family already and lingering annoyance over Suzannah. It wasn't like me at all and Edward visibly bristled.

"It's about an intergalactic war if you must know."

"Ok." I snorted despite my efforts not to and smothered it behind my hand, silently cursing myself. To my mind, people who looked like he did were always into dark and miserable music, horror movies and aliens. So far he seemed to fit right into the mold. "Look, I'm sorry, Ed, I don't want to fight on the first day," I said, pulling myself together.

"Perhaps you could stop abbreviating my name and making fun of me then," he responded stiffly, closing his laptop suddenly and getting up. He shoved his feet into his boots. "How would you like it if I insisted on calling you...Jack, for instance? Or Jerk, which is probably more appropriate."

He opened the door and a second later closed it firmly behind him, leaving me gaping after him in surprise. From the way he looked and the things he seemed to like, I would have expected a quiet, possibly depressed and timid personality, but even though it was over something insignificant, he wasn't afraid to defend himself. You certainly couldn't judge a book by its cover. Perhaps his image was exactly that; just an image - something to draw attention that didn't reflect the person inside. I knew nothing about the guy, but I had to live with him for a year and the last thing I wanted was an awkward atmosphere between us. I would make more of an effort to get to know him without trying to get under his skin.

Several hours passed and there was no sign of Edward. I took a shower, brushed my teeth and put on a clean pair of shorts to sleep in, then got into bed and switched the television on again. I flicked through the channels, finding nothing much worth watching and eventually settled on a rerun of an old adult animation. It didn't really hold my interest and by ten I could barely keep my eyes open. I was about to turn it off and get some sleep when the door opened and Edward came back in. He didn't speak and I watched as he took his boots off, pulled out items of clothing, a towel and some toiletries and disappeared into the bathroom without looking at me once. I heard the lock click into place firmly a second after he closed the door.

_'Shit,'_ I thought. We really had gotten off on the wrong foot and it was my fault. I turned the television off, leaving the room lit only from the moonlight coming in the window. When Edward reappeared fifteen minutes later, I was surprised to see him wearing blue pyjama pants and a white tee, his hair clean of gel and sticking out damply at odd angles, the eyeliner gone leaving him slightly more normal looking.

"Hey, Edward, I'm sorry about earlier," I said, rolling over to face his side of the room. "I guess you were right, I was being a jerk. I don't know anything about you; I've no right to judge."

"It's ok."

"No, it's not. We have to live together, I don't want things to be awkward."

"Me neither."

He got into bed and lay flat on his back, hands behind his head the way I had earlier. I stared at his profile - angular jaw and high cheek bones, square chin, straight nose - and wondered why I couldn't think of a single other thing to say to him. I was usually good at talking and making friends, able to ramble on about any subject that came to mind and draw others into the conversation, but with Edward, I just had no clue. Perhaps it was because I just sensed we had nothing in common. I suppose I could ask him something, make him talk, but what?

"What's Chicago like?" I said randomly.

"Windy."

I smirked. "I heard that. What about your family? Any brothers and sisters?"

"No, just me and my parents. My father's a stock broker. You?"

"I have twin eight-year-old sisters," I said. "Claire and Chloe. My Dad works in construction and my Mom's a secretary."

"Must be nice to have sisters," Edward replied.

"Yeah, they were a bit of a surprise to my parents. I'm adopted; they thought they couldn't have kids. Then ten years later the girls show up. I miss them already."

Somehow I found myself rambling after all and I was relieved that it seemed I could get along with him. However, by the time we settled down to sleep some time later, I realised that I had told him a whole heap of things about myself and the only things I had learned about him was that his father was a stock broker and he liked all kinds of music, but preferred classical, contrary to his image. He hadn't given away a thing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks so much for the rather overwhelming response to this new story! I'm happy that it's well-received so far and hope you continue to enjoy :o)**

CHAPTER TWO

I spent part of Sunday looking for work, as did Edward. I didn't see much of him at all except when I went back to the room in the middle of the day and found him there typing on his laptop and eating a sandwich. I had picked up some groceries while I was out and I heated up a pasta meal in the microwave.

"Any time you want to use the microwave, help yourself," I offered.

"Thank you. Did you have any luck finding a job?"

"Not yet. There seems to be only bar work available, or waiting in diners, that type of thing. You?"

"Yes, I volunteered at the History Museum. A couple hours after class each day and as much as I want on the weekends."

"Volunteered?" I said in surprise.

"Yes, I don't really...need the money." He flushed slightly. "Not many students want to work for nothing so they were glad to have me."

"Rich family? Oh, of course, your Dad's a stock broker," I remembered.

"My family has been stock brokers and lawyers for a couple of hundred years, I think," he said.

I nodded. He seemed almost ashamed of having a lot of money and I changed the subject. "So what does working in a museum entail?"

"Giving out fliers, selling tickets, pointing people in the direction of exhibits they're looking for, helping set displays up; that kind of thing."

"I suppose that fits in with what you're studying," I said.

It sounded boring as hell to me, but each to their own. He was obviously happy about it and I didn't want to add to my crimes from the previous day by making fun of him again when we seemed to have gotten over the initial slight friction. I decided to ask around the next day amongst other students I met and see what kind of jobs would be available to me. I spent part of the afternoon looking around the college buildings, finding out where my classes would be held and chatting to a few other kids. It didn't take me long to meet two boys who were also majoring in Sports Science and we hung out together for a while. Mark and Blair were from Tacoma and Portland respectively and were rooming together. I quickly discovered we had plenty in common and I could see them becoming my friends.

When I returned to the room, Edward was working on his laptop again and continued with that for most of the evening. I occupied myself with studying a book for one of my courses and both of us went to bed early, anticipating the start of school the following morning.

My first week went pretty well. I enjoyed the classes, got to know Mark and Blair better and by Friday I had a job. One of my tutors announced the need for two students to work alongside a coach on a sports programme intended to help young offenders occupy themselves after their release from a detention centre. The kids would be playing soccer and hockey and the pay for the two chosen students was decent. I asked for one of the positions immediately along with three other boys, one of whom was Mark and as luck would have it, the two of us were picked. The job required two hours of coaching on Tuesday and Friday afternoons and around five or six hours on Saturdays; Sundays too if a game was organised against another team. I couldn't believe my luck in finding something that I would thoroughly enjoy and get paid for and it was with huge relief that I returned to the room Friday night.

Edward wasn't there and I took a shower and put on cut-offs and a shirt, then sprawled on my bed looking at the training schedules I'd been given for the job and reading a chapter on therapy for sports injuries for one of my classes. I took the opportunity to call my parents and the twins to report on everything I'd been doing. I'd talked to them a few times during the week, but only briefly and now we had a chance to catch up properly.

I hadn't really seen much of Edward all week, I realised - or at least talked with him. He was either at class or the museum or in the library studying. When he did stay in the room for any length of time, he would be writing something or playing his keyboard. He kept to himself a lot and didn't make much effort to talk to me unless I spoke first. I hadn't learned anything else about him since our first conversation and he was a complete mystery to me.

I still hadn't gotten over the strange feeling that we had met before. I knew it wasn't possible, but somehow he was familiar in odd small ways. For instance when his hair wasn't gelled back and he had gotten rid of the eyeliner in the evenings, making himself look slightly more normal, he would repeatedly drag a hand through his hair until it stood on end as if he'd stuck his finger in a power socket. I didn't really know how to describe it, but it was as if I expected him to do that. He rarely smiled, but when he did, the corner of his mouth would twitch up into a crooked smirk - another bizarrely familiar mannerism.

Besides the curiosity of Edward, I'd had that dream two more times during the week. Running, searching, desperate to find something, or someone. Each time I woke suddenly, jerking bolt upright in bed, panting and sweating and glancing anxiously over at Edward, hoping he was asleep and hadn't noticed. I didn't understand why I kept having the dreams or if they meant anything and I certainly didn't want to have to talk about it. However, I had been in luck - Edward slept like the dead and hadn't stirred on either occasion.

I jumped out of my reverie as he flung the door open, banging it into the wall.

"Sorry...handicapped," he panted, dumping an enormous pile of books onto his bed. He went back to close the door and sat down.

"What are those?"

"Books from the museum. They have a reading room where you can look up some of the things on display, but half of them are so old they're falling apart. I said I'd try to repair them; they don't have funds to buy new ones."

"Bet they love you," I said.

He smirked and reddened slightly. "Did you have any luck yet?"

"Yes, actually." I put my book aside and sat up. "There's this sports programme for juvies - one of the coaches wanted two students to run it with him so I'm gonna do that. I start tomorrow. It's decent money too."

"That's great. I'm glad you found something you'll enjoy."

"Me too. My minor will probably come in useful as well." I realised I hadn't told him what else I was studying.

"What is it? Self-defence?" He chuckled softly and I grinned, surprised by the joke.

"Leadership and tutoring. I think I can manage if any of them needs physically pulling into line."

"Good luck with it." Edward stacked the books neatly beside his bed and then got up again. "I'm going out to get some food; do you want something?"

"Um..." I was further surprised, given the lack of communication between us during the week. I had hoped to get to know him a little more by now; perhaps if we ate together we would talk too. "What are you having?" I asked.

"I thought...Chinese?"

"Never tried it," I admitted. "But I'll try anything once."

"What do you like? Chicken? Beef? Shrimp?"

"I'm not fond of seafood; anything else is fine," I said. "Do you want some money?"

"I'll get it."

"I can pay my own way," I said firmly. He might think nothing of going out to buy fancy food with his wallet stuffed full of bills, but somehow it felt like accepting charity, just because he had so much more than me.

"I know that, I was just being friendly." His face fell and reddened slightly and he bit his lip.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. My treat next time then."

"Ok." He left the room quickly and I returned to my book until he came back forty-five minutes later with a large paper sack. By then my stomach had begun to rumble with hunger and I probably would have been happy to dig into a carton of shrimp if it was all there was.

"I got a variety so you can try a few different things," he said now, beginning to open up the packs of food. There was rice and noodles, sweet and sour pork, lemon chicken and beef in black bean sauce, plus a large bag of prawn crackers and some spring rolls.

"Wow, did you order everything on the menu?"

Edward grinned and passed me two long wooden sticks. "You know that Chinese food has to be eaten with chopsticks, right?" he deadpanned.

"Sure it does. I'll give it a go, but the food will probably be cold by the time it reaches my mouth." I grabbed two plates and a fork just in case and we served up some of everything. I watched as Edward deftly picked up a piece of chicken with his chopsticks, but my clumsy efforts to copy him only resulted in me dropping the meat back onto the plate, causing it to splash sauce on my shirt. Edward sniggered at my failure and I put one stick down and speared a chunk of beef with the other instead.

"Laugh all you want, I'd soon get it if I persevered, I'm just too hungry to bother."

I discovered I didn't really like sweet and sour, but everything else was delicious. I made a mental note to get some Chinese food to try out on Chloe and Claire one day - they loved trying new things to eat.

"Thanks for this," I said eventually. "I appreciate it."

"You're welcome."

"So, are you gonna tell me what life is like in Chicago?" I asked him. "You realise we've been living together a week and I know nothing about you except that you like music and space...stuff."

"Space stuff?" Edward's eyebrows rose.

"You know what I mean. Come on, tell me something. What were you like as a kid? What other things do you like doing? What career do you want? I don't know, anything."

"I'm really not very interesting."

"Why do you think that?"

"It was you who said I was a book worm," he reminded me, flushing uncomfortably.

"I didn't mean that, Edward, I was just joking. I was having a bit of a hard time that day, it made me act different than I would normally."

"Did something happen? Other than moving here?"

"Well, my girlfriend broke up with me the week before. We'd been together a year and I thought we were going to make it work while I was here, but I guess she decided she couldn't trust me to keep my hands to myself while I was away from home."

"I'm sorry," Edward said. "Isn't she going to college too?"

"No, not many people from the Reservation get to college, even in this day and age. She's working in a grocery store. I suppose if she has such little faith in me, it was never going to work anyway. Do you have a girlfriend?"

"No. Do you mind me asking what tribe you're from? I'm guessing Makah since you said you're from Neah Bay."

"Yeah, that's right," I nodded. "I'm surprised you knew that."

"The Indian tribes are what fascinates me most about what I'm studying," he told me. "I already had every book I could find on the subject before I even came to college. The Makah are traditionally fishermen, right? And whalers?"

"A long time ago. My great-grandparents were fishermen, I think, but even then whaling was banned. I don't think it's been common since around the end of the Twentieth Century. Most people work in construction or in factories or farming now."

"You said you were adopted?" Edward remembered. "Have you always known about it?"

"No, my parents told me when I was ten, just before my sisters were born. They said they knew the twins were going to take up a lot of their time and they didn't want me to feel left out. My Mom told me they chose me, so I was special to them. They spoiled me rotten." I felt my face heating up as I realised I was blurting out personal things to him and despite my best efforts, he still wasn't telling me anything. He was very clever about turning a question I had asked him into something I would answer myself.

"That must be nice," he said thoughtfully.

"What?"

"Feeling special."

"Didn't your parents spoil you?"

"If you count the amount they spent on me, then yes. Growing up I had the best toys and gadgets on the market; piano lessons, computers, a car when I turned sixteen..." He got up suddenly and began to clear away the remains of the meal. "..but it doesn't really mean much if they ignore you."

I looked up at him in surprise, but he had his back to me as he tossed the empty food cartons into a plastic sack ready to take out to the dumpster behind the building. His parents ignored him? Perhaps that explained a couple of things. I wondered if the way he made himself look was because of that - an effort to draw attention to himself, or maybe irritate them into noticing him, even if the result was bad. What did his stock broker father think of the way he looked? I would sure as hell be noticed by my parents if I turned up looking like I'd stepped out of a horror movie, but I could hardly compare my situation to his, when I got more attention than I sometimes wanted without ever having to ask for it.

Edward went to take the trash out and when he returned, he picked up his keyboard and headphones, indicating the conversation was over. I switched on the TV with a sigh, but nothing seemed to hold my attention. I kept glancing at him from the corner of my eye, his fingers tapping the piano keys rapidly, eyes half closed as he played some unknown tune from memory.

I tried to imagine him as a child and struggled to picture it. He certainly hadn't had black hair as a kid. I'd seen him once without a shirt when he came out of the bathroom and noticed he had light brown hair on his chest, so I imagined his natural colour was probably light brown or blond, maybe red which would explain his pale skin. An image of him with copper-coloured hair flashed into my mind and I sucked my breath in suddenly. I had seen him that way before - somewhere. It wasn't just some odd hazy moment like the first time I saw him or the times I'd watched him drag his hands through his hair and thought it looked familiar. It was a memory, but I didn't understand how that could be.

Try as I might, I couldn't stop thinking about it and later when I lay down to sleep, my mind was still racing. Once again I imagined what Edward might have been like when he was younger - probably a lonely, introverted kid without many friends and parents who barely noticed he existed. It was so different from my own childhood, surrounded by loving parents, sisters, friends and it made me want to be his friend. He seemed to be going to such efforts to keep me out, refusing to open up and actually tell me anything about himself as if he didn't want anyone getting close to him. Admitting that his parents ignored him seemed like something that probably slipped out without him meaning it to and it made me more keen to get him to talk to me.

Eventually I drifted into sleep, but it was fitful and I woke twice to find the sheets tangled around me as if I had tossed and turned and thrashed about. I straightened them out again and shook my pillow up, glancing over at Edward and seeing him flat on his back and sleeping soundly as usual. I lay back down and closed my eyes, willing myself to sleep, reminding myself I had my first session training the juvie kids that afternoon and I didn't want to be yawning my head off. I closed my eyes, concentrated on breathing deeply and relaxed.

_I could feel the wind rushing in my face and tugging at my hair as my feet pounded the earth. I was racing as fast as I could go, panting for breath, looking left and right, desperately searching...searching for something. I didn't know where to look and so I just ran and hoped, while the hole in my chest ached. I was lost. I had to find him. I had left everything behind for him; he had to be here somewhere. My feet flew faster over the ground as I headed into the trees, the thick covering of foliage above immediately shutting out most of the light from the grey sky. I slowed again slightly as I followed the narrow path through the forest, my eyes searching ahead in the hopes that I would see what I was looking for. At last I spotted a figure in the distance, standing in a clearing waiting for me. I was still too far away to make out details, but I could see white skin, copper hair, red lips..._

"Holy shit!" My eyes snapped open and I sat up, my heart racing, my body burning with heat and my hair sticking wetly to my scalp. It was daylight and Edward was still in bed, but awake, reading a book and now staring at me with wide eyes.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah. Stupid dream." I laughed awkwardly.

He nodded and turned his attention back to his book. I got up quickly and went to take a shower, the intense heat in me subsiding rapidly and leaving me shivering. I turned the water up as hot as it would go and stood under the spray with my eyes closed, trying to shake off the dream. It had been so fucking real, like it always was, only this time there had been someone else in it. Edward was in it. Why the hell would he turn up in the dream that had been bothering me since I was ten years old?

"You were thinking about him right before you went to sleep, you jerk," I muttered, remembering how I had tried to picture his natural hair colour. I'd been thinking about him too intently and it made me dream about him.

I scrubbed myself vigorously, dried myself off and pulled my shorts back on since I had forgotten to bring some clothes into the bathroom with me. I opened the door reluctantly and went to sit on my bed. Edward was still engrossed in his book.

"Do you ever have really weird dreams?" I asked before I could stop myself.

"About what?" He kept his head down but raised his eyes, peering over the top of his glasses at me.

"I don't know; anything. Weird shit that doesn't make any sense," I said uncomfortably.

Edward's eyes darkened and then he lowered his gaze again and bit his lip. "All dreams are weird, aren't they?" he said eventually.

"I guess."

_'Mine are weirder than most.'_

I got up again and found some clothes, then put the kettle on for coffee. I still couldn't shake the vivid images out of my head. There was one thing that had been clearer than anything in the dream this time. I hadn't been searching for my mother; I'd been searching for a boy, or a man. As much as I tried to make myself believe it was only because I'd been thinking about him, it didn't work. I felt like somehow I might have found the person I was looking for, but if that was the case, what in the hell did it mean?


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

I didn't have much time to think about the strange dreams or Edward's determination to remain a mystery for most of the weekend. I had my first session with Mark and the coach with the group of juvies that day and after five hours, I was pretty exhausted. We spent about an hour talking, warming up, getting to know the seven kids and then a couple hours teaching them the basics of hockey and practising on one of the sports fields. Two of the kids got into a fight which Mark and I broke up, following which the coach dealt with one of the fighters who had finished up with a bloody nose. We all took a break and had an hour session in one of the sports block classrooms and ended the day by hanging out and talking to the kids some more. Their ages ranged from fourteen to seventeen and none had been in serious trouble, their crimes mainly involving theft, vandalism and some violence, but the one thing they had in common was that they wanted to move on from what they had done and try to make a future for themselves.

By the time the kids had taken showers, changed and been collected by the bus which delivered them, it was two o'clock and I went back to Mark's room to eat some lunch and watch TV. I was still there when Blair came in, having spent most of his day working in the diner where he had found a job. He didn't like the work, but wasn't complaining about the fact that he could eat there free any time he wanted.

"So, how are you getting along with your weird room mate?" Blair asked, throwing himself onto his bed.

"He's not weird," I said at once. "Just different."

"If that's not weird, I don't know what is," Mark grinned.

"Yeah, what's with the eye makeup and shit?" added Blair. "He looks like he's desperate for attention or something. You know, one of those kids who makes themselves stand out because they have no friends."

"Far from it. He's nice enough, the way he looks doesn't mean anything."

"He just doesn't seem like the type of guy you'd be friends with, and yet you're jumping to his defence pretty quick."

"Well, like I said, he's ok."

I bit my lip, puzzled. I was jumping to Edward's defence and I felt strangely annoyed that the pair of them would make fun of him. It wasn't as if I hadn't done exactly the same thing that first day. Now I found myself wondering what he was doing. Was he working in the museum, or in the room writing or playing his music? Maybe studying? Had he met anyone in his classes to hang out with or was he sitting alone...lonely?

"Jake?"

"What?" I jumped at the sound of Mark's voice.

"You zoned out there for a minute."

"Yeah...I guess I'm just tired." I shook myself and shoved Edward out of my mind.

When I eventually returned to my room, Edward wasn't there. He came back when I was in the middle of watching a movie and after saying a quick 'hello', he grabbed his headphones and quickly became engrossed in his music. Even later when we crashed out for the night we barely spoke and when I woke the next morning after a long dreamless sleep, his bed was empty and neatly made and his coat and boots were missing. Bizarrely I found myself disappointed and I couldn't help wondering if he was trying to avoid me. Maybe he thought _I_ was weird after I asked him about dreams.

I spent the day with Mark and Blair again. We headed into the city to explore, behaving like tourists as we rode to the top of the Space Needle and took photographs from all angles, then visited Ye Olde Curiosity Shop which contained petrified mummies, shrunken heads and all manner of other oddities. We finished up wandering around the waterfront, Mark and I laughing at Blair's attempts to chat up a female artist who sat sketching the surrounding view. He failed miserably and returned laughing and shrugging.

"She doesn't know what she's missing."

The girl looked over her shoulder and gave him a scathing look before returning to her sketch. Grinning, I walked down to the harbour wall and pulled out my phone to take a picture of a tour boat heading out along the coast. I would send it to my sisters - I had taken them out on a boat trip from Port Angeles just that summer.

I remembered the boat heading out west along the coast, a three-hour trip where if you were lucky, you might see Orca. We were the only people on the top deck, the other passengers preferring to sit under cover where there was more shelter from the wind. The sky was grey and overcast and I rested my hands on the railing as I looked out to sea, my arms either side of..._Edward. _Copper_-_haired Edward, just like in my dream. He turned his head slightly towards me, the corner of his mouth twitching up into that crooked smile.

I blinked and shook my head, but the picture in my head stayed there. We sat on a bench at the back of the boat and Edward gave me something - a gift in a paper bag - and when I looked down, I saw a small dreamcatcher with brown and white feathers and red beads.

_"It's to ensure your dreams are always sweet and feature your heart's desire,"_ Edward's voice said.

_"Like I need any encouragement to dream about you," _was my answer.

"What did you say, Jake?" Mark asked me and I realised with alarm that I had said it out loud.

"Uh...um...nothing, I was just thinking about a boat trip I took my sisters on," I stammered shakily.

Why would such a thing have come into my head? Just like the dream I had where I was running towards him, it was as if I was remembering something. But how could I be, when I had taken that boat trip with Claire and Chloe? The sun had been blazing down and I'd had to tell the girls firmly to wear their jackets, knowing the wind would be cold at sea. For some reason, Edward was invading my thoughts, whether I was awake or asleep and I was beyond confused. I was unnerved. That image had seemed so real - his wild hair blowing around in the wind, the quirky smile, his voice... I looked down, almost expecting to see a dreamcatcher clutched in my hands, but I was holding my phone which I had been using to photograph the tour boat.

_'Like I need any encouragement to dream about you.' _What the hell did that mean? Why would I even imagine saying something like that to...a boy?

"You know talking to yourself is a sign of madness," Mark said.

"Yeah, I must be a regular nut job then." I forced a laugh. Suddenly I couldn't wait to get back to the room and talk to Edward, although I wasn't so sure what I would actually say to him.

_'Hey, Edward, I had this vision of us on a boat. You gave me a dreamcatcher. Did that really happen or have I gone mad?'_

He would probably avoid me even more and that was the last thing I wanted. He had seemed...surprised, perhaps...when I asked him if he had weird dreams and I knew I hadn't mistaken the look in his eyes which seemed to say that he knew what I was talking about, but then he had dismissed it.

My thoughts whirled. I was reasonably open to strange occurrences - being a Native, you couldn't avoid it. All of the tribes had certain beliefs and legends which had been passed down for hundreds of years and I had heard plenty from my grandparents and then my parents, but nothing about...what exactly was I thinking about here? Knowing someone from another place? Another time? Or was it just my mind playing tricks on me? I'd had that searching dream years ago; just because Edward suddenly appeared in it didn't mean it was him I was looking for. I'd been thinking about him when I fell asleep. But that didn't explain the uncanny feeling I had when I looked at him and pictured him with copper hair, or the image I'd just had of us on a boat together. It was so fucking _real!_

"Jacob!" Blair shoved me and I staggered. "What the hell is _wrong_ with you today? Are you on something?"

"Yeah, Jake, you disappeared off somewhere like you're asleep, but with your eyes open."

My face warmed. "I'm just...really tired," I said lamely; the same excuse I had used the previous day.

"Aww." Blair shoved me again. "Better get back then. Maybe you should get some sleep."

"Maybe your creepy room mate will tuck you up and read you a bedtime story," Mark sniggered.

"Fuck off, pair of jerks," I said with a half-hearted grin.

"He could read you one of his own. Isn't he taking creative writing? I'm sure I heard someone say he was in their class. What does he write about? Do you know?"

"Probably horror stories," added Blair. "Ghosties and beasties and things that go bump in the night." He laughed raucously.

_'It's about an intergalactic war, if you must know.'_

"I don't know what they're about," I lied.

"Can't you get hold of one of them?" suggested Mark. "We could read by flashlight and scare the shit out of ourselves. Or maybe just piss ourselves laughing."

"Leave him alone!" I snapped. "It's his business what he writes about. So long as he passes his class, it doesn't matter, does it?"

"Woah, Jake, anybody would think you like the guy," Blair said in surprise.

"I do like him, we get on fine," I told him.

"Ok, well, you should probably not admit that to too many people."

"You know what? You two can be real dickheads sometimes," I said. "I'm heading back to campus now, are you coming?"

The pair shrugged and accompanied me and as we made our way back to the college, I sank deep into my thoughts again, puzzled by my annoyance over the way my friends talked about Edward. I had been quick to defend him - again - and I was still bristling over them laughing at him.

"Jake, I'm gonna get pizza, you in?" Mark asked when we eventually reached the accommodation blocks. "Blair's working."

"Uh...no, thanks, I'm just gonna get something light."

I was starving, but I'd had enough of their company for the moment. I left them to it and headed back to my room quickly, wondering if Edward would be there or not. My pulse quickened annoyingly as I found myself hoping he would be there; hoping he wouldn't be too engrossed in his computer or his music to talk to me. I opened the door and found him sitting cross-legged on his bed, surrounded by books, sheets of card, tape, glue, scissors and an assortment of other items. He glanced up and gave me a brief smile before turning back to what he was doing.

"Hey, Edward. Are those the museum books?"

"Yes."

"Need any help?"

"Uh...no, thanks, I'm almost done." He pulled a strip of tape from the roll and cut it with his teeth. His glasses slid down his nose and he paused to push them back up with his thumb. I sat on the edge of my bed and watched as he finished fixing the last book and began to tidy the things away. I wracked my brains for something to talk about and my mind came up blank, except for the strange 'vision' I'd had earlier.

"Did you eat yet?" I asked.

"No."

"Do you want to go get something from one of the diners?"

Edward looked up in surprise and took his glasses off, his cheeks flushing slightly. "Are you sure you want to be seen with me?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Because I'm..." He shrugged. "I guess your friends would say 'weird'."

That was exactly what they had said. "I don't care what they say," I replied. "I can hang out with my room mate if I want."

"Ok, then, I'd like that. I'll just be a minute."

He got up and disappeared into the bathroom and I grinned stupidly to myself until he came out again. He had already been wearing black jeans and a grey shirt when I got back and now he had lost the eyeliner and nail varnish. He put on a pair of sneakers and a black hoodie and grabbed his wallet. He looked almost normal.

"You know, you don't have to change yourself for me," I blurted.

Edward reddened and bit his lip. "Maybe my usual...appearance...is too much for a diner," he mumbled.

He usually did go to the student diner looking the way he had when I first met him, but I just grinned.

"Nothing wrong with standing out. So I thought about going to that diner off campus; you know the one by the superstore?" My choice was based on the fact that Blair worked in the student one and much as I didn't care what he thought about me eating with Edward, I didn't want him to come over to our table and have a dig at my room mate, thinking he was being funny, which I could easily imagine him doing.

We walked to the diner in less than ten minutes and found it about half full. We ordered chilli and rice and cherry coke and once again I found myself trying to think of something to talk about, but it was Edward who started the conversation by asking me what I did that day. By the time the food arrived I had told him about the Space Needle and The Old Curiosity Shop and Blair making a dick of himself trying to chat up the artist.

"Did you go to Pike Place Market?" Edward asked.

"No, Mark mentioned it, but we didn't have enough time."

"Did you know the original Starbucks coffee shop is there? It opened in 1971. Apparently the building is still the exact same one, they just keep repairing it. Even the decor is the same. I want to go there some time and check out the market too."

"I didn't know that," I said. "I never actually went to Starbucks, can you believe that? There's one in Port Angeles. Maybe we should go to the market one day. Unless you have friends in one of your classes you'd go with."

Edward shook his head. "No, I don't really...know anybody else yet."

"We could go next Sunday," I said at once. "If you want."

"That'd be great." He beamed and I smiled back. He looked happy and I felt an odd sense of satisfaction that it was because of me.

We finished our meal and headed back to the room and I asked Edward how his classes were going. He seemed to have loosened up a little in the diner and I just wanted him to tell me something - _anything_ - about himself so that he didn't go on being such a mystery. I had managed to shove my strange thoughts from earlier in the day to the back of my mind and instead concentrated on the moment. He told me they were studying the many wars the country had been involved in, going back as far as the Civil War in the 1860s and finishing with the invasion by the Far East in 2077.

"Do you find that interesting?" I asked.

"No, it's as boring as hell," Edward smirked. "Just a necessary part of the course."

"Did you never consider taking a music course?" I asked. "I mean, you're always playing that keyboard; it seems like something you're really into."

"I did, but it was a choice between that and writing and the latter won out. I don't really need to study music anyway, I'm happy to just play the piano."

"What type of stuff do you play?"

"A variety, I like a lot of different types of music."

"Well, what's your favourite?"

"Debussy."

"Who are they?" I asked and was surprised when Edward laughed loudly - not his usual smirk or quiet snigger if he were ever amused by anything, but a loud belly laugh. I raised my eyebrows.

"Debussy is a composer, not a band," he grinned. "He was French; he died almost two hundred years ago."

"Oh, well...I know nothing about music, clearly." I smiled back at him, feeling like a bit of a fool although it didn't really bother me. He was actually opening up a little bit and I wondered if maybe it was a turning point; that we could start to become friends, although I wasn't sure why that was so important to me.

_'Like I need any encouragement to dream about you.'_

The words popped into my head again and I felt my face heat up. Damnit, what the hell was wrong with me?

"Easy mistake to make if classical music isn't your thing," Edward said, apparently taking my red face for embarrassment at thinking Debussy was a band.

"Will you play me something?" I asked suddenly.

"Oh...um...I don't know...you probably wouldn't like it...I don't usually play in front of anybody," he stammered and dragged a hand through his gelled hair. It slid firmly back into place when he lowered his hand.

"Please? I won't watch. Maybe you could teach me what Debussy sounds like?"

Edward bit his lip and sighed, lowering his eyes.

"If you really don't want to, it's fine."

I took my shoes off and lay down on my bed, hands behind my head, looking at the ceiling and hoping he would go ahead and play. After a minute or two he pulled his keyboard out from under the bed where he kept it and I heard the power cable click into the socket in the wall. I smiled to myself and waited. He said he didn't usually play in front of anybody and he was clearly uncomfortable about it, and yet he was making the effort because I asked. I didn't even want to ask myself why that pleased me so much. The day had already been too weird and I decided to just go with it and enjoy the moment. Worry about it another time.

Edward played a handful of notes and then stopped again. I glanced at him from the corner of my eye and noticed him dragging his hand through his hair again.

"Pretend I'm not here," I said.

He started again and I closed my eyes and listened. The piece of music lasted maybe three or four minutes and was like nothing I'd ever heard before and yet somehow it was familiar. I didn't know anyone who listened to classical music and they didn't teach it in the Reservation highschool. It was curiously haunting and to me it sounded note-perfect. When I opened my eyes briefly to take another look at Edward, he wasn't even looking at the keys as his fingers flew over them, but gazing at the wall in front of him with a dreamy expression on his face. When he stopped playing, he unplugged the instrument again and put it away, his usually pale face rosy with a vivid blush.

"That sounded amazing, you're really good," I said.

"Oh, I don't know about that, I made a few mistakes."

"I couldn't tell and believe it or not, I have actually heard that piece of music before...somewhere." I frowned as I tried to recall it. Perhaps on the radio or something? Or in a movie? "Why don't you like to play for people?" I asked him.

"I just...I feel uncomfortable with people watching me. Stupid, huh? I mean, I look as if I'm trying to get people to notice me." His blush deepened.

"Is that because of your parents? You indicated they don't give you much attention." I hoped the direct question wouldn't make him clam up again, but surprisingly he answered.

"I suppose it is. I mean, they paid for me to have endless piano lessons and bought me the keyboard - I have a baby grand piano at home too - but when I was a kid they never wanted to hear me play. I'd come home from a lesson with some new piece I'd learned to play and a star grade from my teacher and ask my parents to listen to it and they'd be too busy or just...not interested. That's probably why I don't like playing for people; I guess I think no one would want to hear me."

"I'm sorry," I said. "Well, I liked hearing you. Maybe you could play something else for me some time?"

"You're not just saying that because I sound like I'm sorry for myself?"

"No."

The corner of his mouth twitched up again into his customary crooked smile.

"Thank you, Jacob."

We spent the rest of the evening in companionable silence. Edward switched on his laptop and began to type and I studied in preparation for Monday's classes. It was only when I went to bed later that all the strange occurrences of the day came to mind again - my eagerness to defend Edward to my friends; the strange daydream about being on the boat; the dreamcatcher; the oddly familiar piece of music. I drifted into sleep only because I was exhausted and unable to think any more.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

That week was particularly busy for me with more studying to do outside of classes, the sessions with the juvies Tuesday and Friday evenings and on Saturday and trying to divide my spare time between Edward and Mark and Blair. Although I got on really well with my two friends, I found myself enjoying Edward's company more than theirs, even if we did nothing but sit in silence reading together or watching something on my TV. I didn't dream any more during that week to my intense relief, but the things which had already happened repeatedly filled my mind and I did my best not to dwell on it. Part of me didn't want to consider what they might mean, while the naturally curious part of me tried to encourage me to go to the library to investigate deja vu and past lives. If I had known Edward before then it had to have been in a past life, but I was very reluctant to believe it was possible, even though I was open to certain ideas that probably fell into the realm of the supernatural.

Despite everything else that was going on, I found I was looking forward to Sunday more and more and I wasn't quite comfortable with how eager I was to spend a day with Edward doing something away from college, but when I thought about us visiting the market, going to Starbucks, maybe even taking a boat trip, my pulse would quicken a touch and that was something else I tried not to think about.

On Saturday I hung out with Mark after playing hockey with the kids and we went to the student diner to get some food. Blair served us and charged us only half of what we should have paid for the meal, then escaped when his shift ended at seven and accompanied us back to their room to watch a movie and share a few beers that Mark had managed to procure from an older student. The movie was a violent and gory tale about a murderer who tied up his victims and gradually severed parts of them until they bled to death, which wasn't my cup of tea at all. My friends apparently loved it, but the poor acting and non-existent dialogue stood out for me even more than the mindless blood-letting and I let my mind drift until the credits rolled. I couldn't wait to get back to my room.

"So, what are we doing tomorrow?" Mark asked when I headed for the door.

"I'm working the breakfast shift," said Blair, pulling a face. "We could hang out later."

"I've got stuff to do," I told them.

"Like what?"

"Like studying and I'm gonna...um...hang out with Edward for a while."

_"Why?"_ Blair said with exaggerated surprise.

"Just because you think he's weird, doesn't mean he's not cool to spend time with," I said.

"Yeah, well, each to their own," Mark shrugged. "You'd have more fun with us."

"I'm sure I would. I'll see you later."

I left them to it and made my way back to my room. Edward was already in bed reading and he looked up briefly before returning to his book. I began to strip down to my shorts to get ready for bed, throwing my clothes into a heap in the corner of the room. When I straightened up after pulling off my socks, I found Edward's eyes fixed on me. He blushed furiously as I returned his gaze and dropped his eyes.

"What's up?" I asked. I felt slightly uncomfortable about the way he had been looking at me.

"Um...nothing...I...was just thinking that...um...if you have something better to do tomorrow, with your friends, it's ok," he stuttered.

"I don't, I already told them I'm gonna hang out with you," I said at once.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

He smiled and I quickly dived into my bed. Edward put his book down, removed his glasses and switched off the light. Again I slept well and woke without having dreamed and I realised with relief it was a week since anything strange had happened.

I opened my eyes slowly and saw Edward on the other side of the room, his hair wet and tousled from the shower. He had on only boxers and socks and was hunting through one of his drawers for some item of clothing. He looked like he had never seen the sun, I thought, almost unnaturally pale. I had only seen him that one time before without a shirt and now I saw that his legs were just as white. He looked pretty well toned, though slim and I closed my eyes again quickly as he began to turn around with a shirt in his hands. Damnit, why the hell was I staring? Simple curiosity, I told myself; apparently the same curiosity that had caused Edward to look at me the previous evening. I stayed still for another minute and then grunted and shuffled and opened my eyes again slowly as if I were just waking up. Edward was now wearing a plain black shirt over a grey tee and black jeans.

"Morning," I grunted.

"You want some coffee?" he offered. "I was just going to make some."

"Sure, thanks." I went to shower quickly and put some clothes on while he made coffee and put together some cheese and ham sandwiches from the meagre supplies we kept in the mini fridge. By nine o'clock we were done; Edward had glued his hair in place and put on a pair of dark glasses even though we were still indoors. A weak and wintery looking sun was seeping in through the window and I had to bite my lip not to make fun of his curious need for sunglasses.

We walked towards the downtown area of the city and continued towards Pike Place Market. It was around a mile walk and soon we were looking around the many stalls on the market. Although it was early for a Sunday people were already milling around, buying or just looking at things like us. It reminded me a little of the market in Port Angeles, except that one had more stalls selling goods intended to entice the public. Edward had bought the dreamcatcher from one of them and I had bought him...something. I couldn't remember.

"Shit," I muttered. I hadn't even spent an hour out with him yet and already I had one of those strange episodes. It was as clear in my head as if it had happened yesterday. I had been standing by a Native gift stall talking to a boy and a girl who were apparently my friends while Edward surreptitiously bought something and hid it in his pocket, later giving me the dreamcatcher on the boat.

"Jacob?"

I realised I was standing still staring into space when Edward's voice penetrated my thoughts and I shook myself, determinedly shoving the daydream or whatever the hell it was to the back of my mind.

"I'm sorry," I said. "Miles away. So where's Starbucks? I'm dying for some decent coffee."

Starbucks was already busy, with most of the tables filled and a long line waiting at the counter to be served. We joined the end of it and studied the menu for a few minutes until the line diminished, most of those people taking their purchases outside. Edward ordered for both of us - a caramel latte for me and mocha frappuccino for himself along with a bag of biscotti. I went to grab the one remaining table in the corner while he paid and collected the drinks.

We stayed there an hour, watching people come and go, chatting about nothing in particular and enjoying the mouthwatering and ridiculously expensive coffees and biscotti. Edward had pushed the dark glasses up onto the top of his head and his green eyes met mine every so often before they dropped quickly to the table again. I was sure they were a different colour in the strange daydreams I had. I tried to bring to mind the details of when I received the dreamcatcher; did I look into his eyes when I thanked him? I pictured myself doing it and noticed they were a curious golden brown colour.

"Jacob...you're miles away again." Edward's brow wrinkled as he looked at me and I refocused quickly. "Are you sure you wouldn't rather be spending the day with your friends?"

"I'm sure," I said firmly and took a deep breath. It wasn't going to go away; I _had_ to try to talk to him about it. I slid my hands under the table and wiped my damp palms on my jeans, my heart stuttering and my mouth going dry as I tried to think of what to say. He would think I was nuts. He would probably refuse to answer. He might just know exactly what I was talking about and I would either feel relief that he shared it or worry that it wasn't all in my head.

"I was just thinking about something that's been bugging me for a while; since I met you in fact. Let's get out of here."

I realised there were too many people around who could overhear us and I got to my feet. He nodded silently and rose to follow me, lowering his sunglasses back into place as we left the coffee shop and headed for the water front.

"So...um...what is it...that's bugging you?" he asked, shoving his hands into his pockets as we walked slowly side by side. I glanced at him and he was chewing his lip nervously.

"You know I asked you last week if you ever have weird dreams?"

"Uh huh."

"Well, I've been having a lot of them, but they're kind of like memories of something."

"Maybe they are, that sometimes happens," Edward said.

"The thing is...they can't be, unless I knew you before we came to college."

"You dream about me?" He laughed a little and it sounded forced.

"It's more like I'm remembering something. It sounds nuts, doesn't it?"

"Totally. You and your friends haven't been taking anything, have you?" The words were joking, but his voice sounded serious and tense.

"No. Well, I'm not sure about them, but...ugh, this is ridiculous. I keep having these deja vu moments where I remember doing stuff with you, like being on a boat trip somewhere. Why would that happen? Is it just me, or do you have them too?" I blurted.

"I...um...I don't really dream much."

"That's not what I asked."

We halted by the harbour wall and Edward leaned his back against it, looking at his feet. I couldn't tell whether he just thought I was insane or if he knew what I was talking about it and was doing his best to avoid acknowledging it, the same way I had up to now. Now he just shrugged and kicked at the ground. I leaned on the wall next to him.

"Well, I guess I have something else on my mind," he muttered.

"Like what?"

"I have to tell you something."

"Sounds serious," I said and silently cursed. Whatever he had to tell me was apparently an effective way of changing the subject, which only made me lean towards the option that he did know what I was talking about and that was just...scary. "So, what is it?" I prompted.

"Um...you'll probably hate it."

"That bad?"

"I'm gay."

"Oh!" I hadn't been expecting that and I immediately remembered how I had caught him staring at me and then blushing furiously. Had he been checking me out? I felt my face heating up at the thought and another glance at Edward showed his cheeks were scarlet. I dropped my eyes again and we both stared at our feet for a long moment while I did my best to think of something reassuring to say and came up with nothing.

"Please say something," Edward whispered.

"I'm sorry, it just surprised me," I said lamely.

"Are you mad? I mean, you're stuck sharing a room for a year with a..."

"Of course I'm not mad," I interrupted quickly. "It makes no difference to me, you're my friend. I'm glad you told me."

"Really?"

"Yeah," I said firmly, my mind still whirling. He was gay? Did he 'like' me? Did that mean what I had said to him in the dream or whatever the hell it was indicated we were together?

_'Like I need any encouragement to dream about you.' _

Holy shit! You wouldn't say something like that to a simple friend. My heart thumped unevenly and I tried to think of something to ask to get him to talk some more while I decided if I really wanted to push the subject of whether or not we knew each from...before.

"What kind of response do you usually get when you tell people?"

"Nobody back home knows," he sighed. "I told my parents last year and they just thought I was saying that to get a reaction. I could probably get married to a guy and put a big announcement in the newspaper and they'd still think I was doing it for attention."

"I'm sorry," I said. "So, do you have a boyfriend back in Chicago?"

"No." His blush deepened as he shook his head. "I had one for a few months, but it didn't work out. This really doesn't bother you?"

"Not a bit. Maybe you'll meet somebody here."

"Maybe."

"I know why you told me that just now," I said, stepping away from the wall and positioning myself in front of him. A whole lot of new questions were filling my head about him being gay, but I pushed them aside and returned to the subject he had been so keen to change. It was just going to bother me more and more if I didn't at least try to get him to talk about it.

"Why?"

"To stop me asking you about deja vu and stuff. Do you know what I'm talking about?"

"Don't," Edward begged quietly, hanging his head.

"Please, this is driving me nuts. I know it's not just in my head. How can it be? I knew your name before you said it." I had told myself at the time I'd seen the tag on his case, but I knew now that wasn't true. "Will you look at me?" I raised my hand and pulled his sunglasses off and he raised his eyes slowly. His lashes were wet and spiky and he looked scared, like a rabbit caught in the headlights.

"Shit, Edward," I groaned. "I didn't mean to upset you, but we can't just ignore it; it's not going to go away, is it?"

He shook his head slowly. "When you asked me if I had weird dreams, I knew what you meant. I only had one and it was pretty vague. I was standing in this forest somewhere waiting for you to come and meet me, but you didn't show up; there was nobody there except me. There was an animal of some kind amongst the trees, but that was all. I dismissed it; I thought I was imagining you were in it because you're kind of...in my life. I don't really believe in things like that. Do you?"

"I'm not sure. I mean, the Indian tribes all have some kind of legends behind them that involve spirits and previous lives and all kinds of things. I guess you know that since you study them."

Edward nodded and took his glasses out of my hand, but rather than put them back on, he folded them and slid them into his pocket. He still looked frightened and I had an almost overpowering urge to wrap my arms around him and hug him. I took a small step backwards instead and slid my hands into the pockets of my jeans.

"My parents are atheists, I guess I'm the same," Edward said. "Stuff like that just...can't happen."

"Then how do you explain that we had virtually the same dream? That I have these thoughts that are like memories?" I pressed.

"I can't." He turned away to look out to sea again and rested his elbows on the wall. He was shivering and my hand reached out to touch his arm without me realising I was doing it.

"I'm sorry," I said, giving his bicep a squeeze.

"Hey, Jake!" Mark's voice shouted and I snatched my hand off of Edward as if he had burnt me and looked over my shoulder. Mark was jogging purposefully towards us and I groaned inwardly. His timing was lousy. I glanced back at Edward and noticed him brush a hand across his eyes before he took his sunglasses out again and put them on.

"I thought you were waiting for Blair to finish in the diner," I said as I turned around again.

"He got roped into a double shift; one of the other guys is sick," he explained. "What are you doing?"

"I was actually just going to head back and work on a paper for my history class," Edward said, pushing himself away from the wall. "I'll leave you to it."

My heart plummeted and I was surprised by the extent of my disappointment as he began to walk away.

"Hey, Edward, wait!" I protested.

"I'll see you later," he said firmly over his shoulder and carried on walking, his head down and arms wrapped around himself as if he were cold.

"That dude is a real freak." Mark sprang up to sit on the wall, kicking his heels against the stones. "So what are we doing?"

"I don't know, I guess I should go back soon and study too," I said despondently.

"You're no fun; it must be rubbing off on you from creepy Masen," Mark grimaced. "What were you talking about, anyhow? Looked serious."

"Nothing you'd find interesting," I sighed.

"Ok, well I want to look around the market while I'm here, since we didn't get chance last week. You coming?"

"Sure." I followed him back to Pike Place, not bothering to mention that Edward and I had already spent some time there.

It was a couple hours before I returned to my room and I knew Mark was frustrated by my lack of conversation. I had to force myself to concentrate on anything he was saying and I longed to get back and find Edward. I felt pretty bad about forcing him to ackowledge something he clearly wanted to pretend hadn't happened, but I knew from my own experience that trying to ignore it didn't work. I was only more convinced that somehow we did have a kind of alternative past and much as the idea scared me, I wanted to know more; to understand.

In addition, I couldn't get out of my mind what he had told me in his efforts to change the subject. I hoped he didn't feel uncomfortable about me knowing if he hadn't been intending to tell me before then.

I stayed in the room most of the afternoon and evening, but I sat there alone. Edward was out and he didn't return before I went to bed at eleven. I had made a brief trip to the student diner, the library and the museum in the hopes that I might find him, but he was in none of those places so I had returned to the room and waited in vain, growing anxious as time went on. Where was he? Did he just not want to face me or had something happened to him? However, as I lay there in the darkness trying to sleep, eventually the door opened and he came in. My heart lurched and I was filled with relief and nerves as I wondered whether or not to try speaking to him. In the end I stayed silent and pretended to be asleep. He clearly wanted to avoid talking to me if he stayed out until he assumed I had probably gone to bed. At least he was back.

I wasn't sure how well I would sleep with so much on my mind, but somehow I slipped into unconsciousness easily - and into another dream. It was similar to the recurring one, but with some significant differences.

_I could feel the wind rushing in my face and ruffling my fur as my paws pounded the earth. I was racing as fast as I could go, panting for breath, looking straight ahead, knowing exactly where he would be, my heartbeat keeping time with my stride as I ran. I headed into the trees, the thick covering of foliage above immediately shutting out most of the light from the grey sky. I slowed slightly as I followed the narrow path through the forest, my eyes searching ahead and my muzzle lifting to smell the air. At last I spotted a figure in the distance, standing in a clearing waiting for me. I was still too far away to make out details, but I could see white skin, copper hair, red lips and I smelled the sweetness of him._

_'Jacob!' he called out and I saw his lips smile, the corner of his mouth twitching up crookedly. As I approached I noticed his eyes twinkling - curious golden eyes. I halted in front of him, lowering my head level with his chest and feeling his hand coming to rest on me, scratching between my ears._

_'I found you,' I thought happily._

My eyes flew open in the darkness and I found myself and the bedding under me soaked with sweat, my heart racing as if it meant to burst out of my chest. I was gasping for breath and I glanced anxiously across the room towards Edward, noticing with relief that he was sleeping soundly.

I slid out of bed, tiptoed into the bathroom and closed the door before I switched on the light and looked in the mirror. My face and hair were wet and my upper body was covered in goosebumps. This latest dream had been more vivid than those previous and in this one, I wasn't human; I was a wolf.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N - GUEST:- thank you for reading both stories and taking the time to review. In the future if you have questions you need to submit a signed review or PM me so that I can answer, but on this occasion...You were right about Billy's journal. The story will continue with Jacob's POV in keeping with "United We Fall" and I am planning more Jake/Ed fics from both viewpoints. Also if you haven't read "Healing a Damaged Soul" that is partly from Edward's POV.**

**Now for the next chapter :o)**

CHAPTER FIVE

I didn't sleep for the rest of the night. I lay staring at the ceiling in the darkness, watching the room gradually lighten as dawn approached, the details of the dream replaying over and over in my mind. I didn't want to think about what the new aspects of it could mean, but it was impossible not to. Why in the hell would I suddenly be a wolf in that same dream I had been having intermittently since I was ten? It made no sense. I tried to convince myself I must have seen something on TV or read something about wolves which made that part of the dream different, but I couldn't remember having seen anything since I arrived at college. The most alarming part was that Edward had confessed to having the same dream - standing in the forest waiting for me, but I hadn't shown up. He had seen some kind of animal in the trees, but not me. Could that have been me? Had he seen a wolf?

I considered trying to talk to him about it again when he woke up. Something very strange was happening between us and now that I knew it wasn't just on my side, I wanted to know more, but at the same time the newest developments scared me and what worried me the most was the prospect of Edward refusing to discuss it and withdrawing from me even further. I liked him, I realised - really liked him - and the idea of him avoiding me caused a pain to develop in my chest and take my breath away. I knew that somehow he was important to me and I couldn't lose him, even if it meant keeping my thoughts to myself.

At last daylight came and I got up and went to shower. I felt like hell from lack of sleep and from the confused thoughts racing around my head for hours. I wanted more than anything to discuss it, but when I returned to the bedroom and saw the anxious and wary look on Edward's face, I knew I needed to keep my mouth shut.

"Morning," I said. "Sleep ok?"

"Not really. You?"

I shrugged. "Stuff on my mind. I have a test this morning." It wasn't a lie - I did have a test and I had only just remembered it. My classmates and I had to demonstrate massage techniques and joint manipulation to show what we had learned in the last week. "I forgot about it."

"You didn't study?"

"No, it's about massage and stuff. Damnit. I'm pretty sure I know most of it."

"Good luck," Edward said.

"Yeah, thanks, I'll need it."

We continued to make smalltalk while I longed to tell him about the dream and he glanced at me awkwardly every so often and dragged his hands through his hair. I wondered if he was worrying about the same thing I was, or the fact he had told me he was gay, which was actually something I had forgotten about until that moment. How did I really feel about that? I didn't even know - it didn't worry me at all; I wasn't concerned about whether he might like looking at me or whether I should make efforts to change in the bathroom instead of the bedroom in future. It just didn't seem important and that only added to my confusion. If we had shared a past life together, how close had we been exactly? Had we been lovers?

I studied his profile, trying to imagine, trying to _remember, _but I couldn't. All I succeeded in doing was drawing attention to myself as Edward suddenly turned and met my eyes curiously.

"Is something wrong?"

"Uh...no...why?"

"I don't know, you're looking at me strangely."

I guessed I was also bright red - my cheeks felt as if they were on fire and I looked away quickly.

"Is this because of what I told you?" Edward said, dropping his eyes. "I don't want it to make things awkward."

"It makes no difference," I said at once. "I told you that."

"Yeah, I know, I thought maybe you were just trying to be nice, or you didn't know what to say..."

"Edward, it's cool, I promise," I averred. "Stop worrying."

"Ok."

I only wished we could have had a conversation about the dreams without it making things awkward, but it clearly wasn't going to happen. I virtually made him cry the day before. I cringed inwardly and the image of his scared face and wet eyes decided me - I would say nothing about it, at least for now.

Days passed and another weekend came. The dream about me running towards Edward as a wolf recurred once, but nothing new happened. I didn't have any more odd visions or 'memories' and the temporary discomfort between Edward and me dispersed. I shared my spare time between him and my two friends; when I was with him we went to the diner off campus, or got takeout, talked about our classes, watched movies together and sometimes he would play the keyboard and entertain me with a variety of tunes from classical to current music that we heard on the radio. I rarely saw him read sheet music; usually he played from memory and even with new pieces, he would listen several times over, picking out odd notes here and there and then suddenly he would be playing the whole piece as if he'd spent weeks learning it. I never ceased to marvel at it and he always blushed and shrugged it off, saying it was just a 'knack' he had.

I enjoyed the time I spent with him more and more and he gradually opened up, telling me about his childhood, life in Chicago, his dreams for his future. He wanted to be a history professor, something he told me rather self-deprecatingly as if he thought it wasn't much of a dream. He thought my plan of being a coach or sports physiotherapist much more exciting and was interested in hearing about the juvies, who were coming along in leaps and bounds.

Over the next few weeks we were close and I was bothered less and less by strange occurrences. For a while I even began to tell myself everything had been in my imagination; I wasn't convinced, but without even a dream for more than two weeks, it was difficult to take it seriously any more. I wanted to think about the here and now, about my schoolwork, my job, my...I hesitated to refer to Edward as just a room mate. He was my friend and I shared almost everything with him, even news from home, pictures of my sisters and parents, the fact that Suzannah sent me an email saying she was sorry for what had happened and she felt like she made a mistake. She hoped we could see each other and talk about it when I went home to visit. I wasn't sure if it was my imagination or if Edward's face actually fell when I told him that. There was a brief flash of something in his eyes - hurt maybe? It was too brief for me to be sure, but it made me wonder again if he felt something for me. Soon afterwards he went out to work at the museum and I didn't see him for the rest of the day. I heard him return just as I was falling asleep and that night I had another dream.

_I bounded out of the trees into the clearing, filled with joy as I halted in front of Edward. The forest around me was dark, lit only by the faint glow of moonlight filtering through the leafy canopy above. I lowered my head to meet Edward's eyes as he reached out to ruffle my fur and I noticed his usually golden orbs were jet black, as if the pupils had enlarged to completely obscure the irises. He turned away from me and we began to run together, my paws pounding the earth rapidly, carrying my large wolf body at impossible speed through the trees. Each time I glanced to my right, Edward was right there, keeping pace with me, his body almost a blur as he seemed to glide along. A tantalising scent caught my nostrils and I veered away from him to follow it, pushing myself to even greater speed as I followed the fleeing stag, the gap between us slowly __narrowing until I was snapping at its rear, grabbing one of its back legs and throwing it to the ground. My teeth ripped into flesh and the heady, coppery taste of blood filled my mouth. I ate greedily, then stepped away from the remains of the carcase to drink from the nearby stream. When I looked up, Edward was there watching me, golden eyes smouldering and the corner of his mouth twitching up into a quirky smile. His white skin almost seemed to have a glow to it._

"Fuck!"

I jerked upright in bed, my body slick with sweat and my heart racing. The taste of blood still lingered in my mouth and I felt faintly sick.

"Jacob? You ok?" Edward's voice came from the other side of the room and I tried to calm myself down, realising I was panting loudly and probably sounded scared to death.

"Yeah. Fine. Go back to sleep," I grunted. I wished I could tell him, but I knew if I blurted it out at that moment I would sound nuts; hysterical. I slid out of bed and went to the bathroom to wash my face, puzzled that the taste of blood was still strong until I realised I had bitten the inside of my cheek hard enough to cut the tender flesh. It was almost a relief to discover I had injured myself and that it wasn't due to a very powerful dream, which still lingered vividly in my head.

I was surprised that I did sleep again when I returned to bed. In fact I slept so late that by the time I opened my eyes it was bright daylight and Edward was gone. I sat up rubbing my eyes and picked up my watch, noticing it was after ten o'clock. Luckily it was Sunday and I had no plans, not even with Mark and Blair for once. Edward would be in the museum, most likely. I got up and went to take a shower and it was as I stood under the hot spray that I remembered the dream. It had been a long time since I had one, but the events in this latest one were new. I had been in the form of a wolf and I had hunted the same way an animal would; not only that, but Edward had been with me, doing what I had no idea, but he had run with me and appeared smiling after I ate my fill. His eyes changed colour; he almost seemed to glow. Damnit, if only Edward would talk to me about it. We could try to discover what was happening together; share ideas, however insane they might seem. However, I just knew that he would pull away from me again if I brought it up and we had gotten so close lately, I couldn't bring myself to spoil it.

I made myself some of our horrible instant coffee and a sandwich and wondered what to do with myself that day. I wandered around the room, idly glancing at the pile of books on top of Edward's chest. Most related to his history classes and I could see from the spines that more than half were about the Indian tribes. The second one in the pile was entitled, 'Tribes of the North West'. I pulled it out of the pile and looked at the back, discovering it had several sections, including chapters on the Makah, Haida, Quileute, Klallam and a number of others. I wondered if anything in the section about Makah would help me figure out exactly what was happening to me. I had read and heard all I thought there was to know about by ancestors, but clearly there was something I hadn't been told about. I took the book over to my bed and sprawled out, flicking through to the section on Makah.

I read the entire chapter and learned nothing at all that I didn't already know. Shrugging, I turned a few more pages, looking at ancient photographs taken of a Klallam family in 1995 leaning up against the front of their cabin. Buildings sure hadn't changed much in a hundred years; it looked pretty similar to my own home. I continued looking through the book, leaving it open while I got up to pour another mug of coffee. When I sat down again, the first thing that caught my eye was a phrase at the beginning of a paragraph halfway down the page.

'For hundreds of years, the legend that the tribe is descended from wolves has been passed down through the generations.'

"Wolves?" I said aloud and glanced at the top of the page where the chapter heading was printed on each one in tiny letters. I was in the middle of the Quileute section. I went back to the paragraph and continued to read.

'For hundreds of years, the legend that the tribe is descended from wolves has been passed down through the generations. Certain males of the tribe have been described as having shape-shifting capabilities, whereby they can shift between human and wolf forms in order to protect the tribe from enemies. In times of danger, a so-called Alpha male emerges, who in turn creates a pack of perhaps six or eight young male wolves...'

"Jacob, what the hell are you doing?"

I looked up quickly at Edward's voice. His face was pale and angry and now he snatched the book from in front of me and slammed it closed.

"I was..."

"That's not a library book, it's one of my own. I don't appreciate you prying into my things without even asking!"

I sat up quickly, surprised. "Edward, it's just a book, it's not like I'm reading your diary or anything," I protested. "I'm sorry, alright? I wanted something to read."

"There are plenty of books in the library if you have nothing better to do." He dragged a hand through his hair and shoved his glasses up his nose.

"Yeah, well maybe I wanted to look at that one. It has a section on my tribe in it."

"You could have asked." He replaced the book in the pile, exactly where it had come from and straightened the remainder so that they sat in perfect symmetry, aligned with the edge of the chest.

"What's really bothering you?" I said. "The fact that I borrowed your book without asking or that I was reading something that might explain those dreams we both..."

"I didn't dream anything," Edward said firmly. "You appeared in one dream I had, for some unknown reason, that's all."

"You said there was an animal..." I protested.

"Yes, so? I'm sure there are thousands of animals in the forest."

"Damnit, Edward, will you please talk to me about this properly?" I reached out to grab his arm and he backed away out of reach.

"Leave me alone and keep your hands off of my belongings in the future," he said coldly and a moment later I was alone in the room again, staring in disbelief at the closed door. His anger didn't make sense to me. Maybe he was slightly irritated that I looked at his book without asking, but it was obvious there was more to it. Had he read that chapter himself? Connected it to the dream? Had the animal in his dream been a wolf? Was he denying whatever he had seen in his head out of fear or because he simply didn't believe?

I lay back down on the bed, my chest tight and aching. He was mad and it hurt. I wanted to run after him and apologise - beg him not be angry with me. I had enjoyed the past few weeks of being closer friends with him much more than I cared to admit and I hated the thought that I might have fucked it up just by reading one of his books.

It took me maybe an hour to remember that the chapter I had been reading had been about the Quileute tribe; not Makah, but Quileute. I jumped up quickly and switched on my computer. Edward could tell me to keep my hands off of his books, but he couldn't say anything about what I looked at on the net. As soon as the machine fired up I typed 'Quileute Indians' into the search bar and a long list of articles popped up at once. The first one I opened detailed the main occupations that people of the Reservation undertook - mostly the same as the Makah; construction, retail, farming. They had once been fishermen and whalers too, but the over-fishing in the previous century had ended that opportunity for them the same way it had for the Makah.

I opened up a gallery of photographs, viewing houses and people on the Reservation. Some of it looked vaguely familiar, but their houses were virtually identical to ours and to the Klallam's and their faces dark with deep-set eyes, also like ours. It was a photograph of the beach which sent chills down my spine. First Beach, La Push. I had been there. Some time I had been there. The rock formations were familiar, the headland, the path leading down from the Reservation...I could see myself playing football there, running thigh deep in the sea, ice-cold water soaking my jeans as I caught the ball from the crest of a wave, hurling it back towards a similar bare-chested, jean-clad Native who caught it easily and aimed it to his left, to another boy. I shook myself, trying to convince myself it was a memory of me with Steve and Johnny, my best childhood friends in Neah Bay. We had played football on the beach countless times as teenagers, both of them envious that at sixteen I had already had well developed muscles. But try as I might, I knew the image in my head wasn't of them. One of the boys I had imagined was the very same one I had talked to beside the Native stall in Port Angeles.

"Oh, God," I groaned. It was becoming too much to comprehend. If all of this were true - if even a fraction of my dreams and visions were actual memories - then I probably wasn't Makah at all, but Quileute. This thought temporarily took precedence over any need to read about the tribe's history and the possibility of shape-shifting wolves. If I was Quileute, then either my parents had kept it from me my whole life, or they didn't know. Would they have lied to me about something like that? They told me I was adopted as soon as I was old enough to understand, so surely if they knew they would have told me.

My heart was racing and my hands shook as I scrolled down to another article and carried on reading. I eventually found something which detailed the Quileute legends and as I read I could almost hear a voice telling me the story of Kaheleha, the first Spirit Chief of the tribe and then Taha Aki, the last of the Chiefs who was the first man to have the ability of turning into a wolf; the first Alpha male. The story was supposed to be a legend, but to me it seemed like I was reading something that actually happened, however impossible it was to believe. It was only when I read further and discovered that the pack's enemy were 'cold ones' or blood-drinkers - the creatures we called vampires in horror movies - that I began to question what I was reading. I was getting so caught up in the story I was beginning to think it was true and there was no way it could be. Vampires sure as hell didn't exist, so didn't it follow that the shape-shifters were really only a legend, the way the book portrayed them to be?

By the time Edward returned to the room again later, I had turned the computer off and was watching a ball game on TV. I hadn't been able to cope with any more stories. Some made things that had happened to me seem familiar, while others only made it seem more impossible and my confusion and worry had caused me to develop a blinding headache. After taking a couple of painkillers and making more coffee, I did my best to shove the whole thing into the furthest corner of my mind and concentrate on something completely different.

I glanced up when Edward walked in, but he didn't look at me. He took off his coat and boots, removed his keyboard from beneath the bed and plugged the headphones in, effectively shutting me out just as he had weeks before. My heart sank. We should have been going to the diner together, maybe spending the evening watching a movie or studying in companionable silence ready for the next week's classes, but instead he was as distant as he had ever been and a dark cloud of misery settled over me. If only he would discuss this one thing with me, however hard it was for him, but he just wouldn't and now it seemed like it had come between us again.

That week we had only two days of classes and then it was Thanksgiving. I had completely forgotten about it until Monday morning when I checked my emails before class and discovered one from my Mom, telling me that Dad would be here around midday Wednesday to take me home for the weekend. I was filled with a mixture of excitement about seeing my parents and sisters for a few days and fear that Edward would remain distant and I would be forced to leave with this wall separating us.

By Wednesday morning it became clear that was exactly what was going to happen. He barely spoke to me and he spent more time than ever either in the museum or the library, apparently avoiding me as much as possible. As I packed a bag ready to take home, he simply lay on his bed reading and ignoring me.

"Aren't you going home for Thanksgiving?" I asked.

"No."

"Why not? Don't your family celebrate?"

"Not often."

"Edward..."

"What?" He glanced up, peering over the top of his glasses at me.

"Nothing," I sighed. I finished packing and put my wristwatch on. An hour before my Dad was due to arrive and it was passing far too quickly. My stomach was a tangled knot of anxiety and I felt almost sick at the thought of leaving for four days with this awkwardness still hanging in the air. I wanted to tell him I would miss him.

I jumped at the knock on the door and got up, almost disappointed when I discovered Dad on the other side of it, forty minutes early. He enveloped me in a bear hug and I returned it, my heart sinking as any chance to sort things out with Edward before I left slipped away. I grabbed my bag and Dad took it from me.

"I'll just be a minute; where are you parked?" I said.

"Right in front of the building." To my relief, he left me to it and I picked up my wallet and phone from the bed and shoved them into my pockets.

"I guess I'm going then," I said sadly.

"Have fun."

"Damnit, Edward, I hate this!" I exclaimed suddenly. I couldn't walk away with things the way they were; it was affecting me horribly. "You're my friend and I hate not even being able to talk to you!"

He put his book down and got up. "I hate it too," he said. "I'm sorry. I just...I've had things on my mind."

"So have I."

"I know. Look...I'll talk to you when you get back."

"Promise?" I said hopefully and he nodded. I was instantly relieved. "Ok. Don't work too hard. I'll see you Sunday."

"Yeah. See you then."

I hovered for another moment, clenching my fists at my sides as I imagined myself stepping forward to give him a hug. I wanted to, but the idea scared me more than anything else that had happened in the past few weeks and instead I walked slowly out of the room.

"Bye, Edward," I said and reluctantly closed the door and left him.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

The long journey home seemed endless. Dad constantly asked me questions about my classes, my friends, my job and so on, even though I had reported most things in the emails and phone calls with my family over the weeks. Although I talked almost non-stop, part of mind was back in college with Edward. I felt sad for him that he had to stay on campus over the holiday and wouldn't get to see his family. They didn't give him much attention, but I was sure he would rather have gone home to see them than remained at school alone. Very few kids stayed except for those who lived so far away that it wasn't worth it or they couldn't afford it. Edward lived two thousand miles away, but I expected he could afford the shuttle which would have had him back in Chicago in half the time it took Dad to drive me back to Neah Bay. Perhaps his parents just didn't want him home and that was something I couldn't understand, coming from the loving family I had. In addition, the further away I got, the more I began to miss him and that unnerved me. I couldn't get him out of my head and I was already looking forward to getting back to school so I could talk to him. At least he had promised he would talk to me.

"Something on your mind, Jacob?" Dad asked at that point and I realised I had fallen silent and was gazing out of the truck window seeing nothing.

"Um...I was thinking about my room mate," I said honestly. "He's staying on campus over the holiday."

"That's a shame; he must miss his family," Dad said.

"They're not like you guys; I don't think his parents have much time for him," I said.

"Poor kid. So what's he like? You haven't really mentioned him except during the first week when you said he looked...weird?"

I laughed now. "He's nothing like the way he looks; it's just an image that doesn't mean anything. He's a nice guy, we get on well. He's studying history and creative writing."

Immediately I was thinking about Edward's books and the idea that I may not be Makah; a thought which hadn't left me since I had read about the Quileute legends. Could I ask Dad about it? Would he be upset or mad? Or did he not know the answer? Would it be better to blurt it out now, before we got home, or should I sit down with him and Mom later over the weekend and ask? I had to ask, I realised. I knew they would be honest with me and it would be easier than me trying to find out without their help.

"Jacob! Are you sure you're ok?" Dad reached out and squeezed my arm.

"I'm sorry, I have something on my mind that I need to ask you."

"Well, ask away." Dad's brow wrinkled and his attention drifted from the road to me.

"Maybe I should just wait and talk to both you and Mom about it."

"Sounds serious. Maybe you should just get if off your chest now and we can talk to her later."

I wiped my palms on my jeans and chewed my lip. I hadn't pictured myself getting into it this early, but now I thought about it, the question was only going to niggle at me until I broached it and I didn't want to spoil the entire weekend worrying about it. While I thought about it, Dad pulled off the highway and parked up and the decision was made for me.

"I feel kind of awful asking this," I said. "You and Mom are amazing and I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, but..."

"You want to know where you came from," Dad interrupted.

"How did you know?"

"Lucky guess," he smiled. "We were going to tell you before you left for college, but you were so excited about going and then the upset with Suzannah, we thought it better to leave it until later. You had enough on your mind."

"You know then?" I turned to face him. "Am I...not Makah?"

"No, you're not. Before I explain, what made you question this?"

"You wouldn't believe me." I hesitated to elaborate until he prompted me again.

"Try me."

"I've been having these dreams...more like memories. It sounds ridiculous when I say it out loud." It hadn't seemed so ridiculous when I tried to talk to Edward about it, I realised. "I feel like maybe I had another life...before this one," I said quickly.

"Well...that's not completely unbelievable," Dad said thoughtfully. "You know some of the things I've told you over the years have been stories, passed down over generations, but there's always a little truth in them, however strange it might seem. Most tribes believe that their spirits go on somewhere after their deaths, whether it's to another life, or to a better place to join their ancestors, or even to live again in another form."

My heart began to pound urgently and at the same time I felt a sense of relief. He believed me! He hadn't even raised an eyebrow and was discussing it as easily as when I told him about the work I was doing with the juvies. It made what had been happening seem so..._normal._

"Dad, am I Quileute?" I asked. "I read something about them and looked at pictures of La Push. They looked familiar like I'd been there, but I know I haven't; have I?"

"No, you haven't and yes, your mother was Quileute. I don't know about your father, but I would assume he was too."

"Who was my mother?" I asked.

"Her name was Maria Black. She was only sixteen years old when you were born. I don't know all of the details, but it seems that she got involved with one of her tutors in school - a married tutor. When she discovered she was pregnant he didn't want to know - too worried about his wife and his job and the scandal it would have created. Maria was too ashamed to tell her parents and apparently had no one else she could turn to, so she ran away. She came to Neah Bay, found lodgings and worked until she went into labour. That was what she told the hospital. She arranged to have you put out for adoption immediately after you were born, because she knew she wouldn't be able to offer you much of a life. She thought if she gave you up, you'd have the chance of a good future with a proper family. She named you before she left the hospital. You were Jacob Black, but when we signed the adoption papers we had it changed to Lester."

"Shit!" I gasped. "Sorry, Dad."

"It's alright."

I was silent for a long moment as I thought about the young girl who had been my mother. She would still only be thirty-four years old. Had she gone back to La Push? Or made her home somewhere else? If I found her, would she be able to tell me anything about my past?

"Why didn't you tell me about it when I was ten? When you told me I was adopted?" I asked Dad.

"We thought about it, but you know how cruel kids can be. We thought it better that you and everybody else continue to think you were Makah until you were eighteen, rather than subject you to possible bullying or feeling that you were different. Even in this century, tribes are very insular and unaccepting of what they view as outsiders."

I nodded. "Thanks for telling me," I said.

"Just remember, you can always talk to me or your Mom about anything that relates to this...or anything else. We're not going to be upset about you wanting to know about where you came from."

"Do you think...I should try to find her?" I asked hesitantly.

"Do you want to?"

"I don't know. I want to know who I was...before."

"Well, it's for you to decide on that," Dad said. "Your Mom and I wouldn't be upset, so don't worry about that. I think you should take a little time to think about it though. You'll be home for three weeks over the Christmas holidays - maybe start looking into it then when there's more time if you decide you want to."

I nodded. "Yes, I'll do that. I mean I'll think about it until Christmas."

I couldn't stop thinking about it now and Dad stayed mostly silent for the last hour of the trip, leaving me to my own thoughts until we reached the Reservation. Then I pulled myself together and watched the road ahead eagerly as we approached our house. Claire and Chloe exploded out of the front door before the truck had stopped and launched themselves at me as I got out, pinning me to the side of the vehicle in their efforts to smother me with hugs, both of them talking at once so that I couldn't understand a word. After a moment they each grabbed one of my hands and towed me into the house while Dad followed with my bag.

The remainder of the day was mostly filled with more talk. I told Mom and the girls a lot of what I talked to Dad about on the drive home. Then after my sisters went to bed, Dad explained to Mom about the conversation we had on my origins. She said exactly the same thing he had - that I could ask them anything I wanted and they wouldn't be hurt if I wished to try to find Maria Black. I couldn't have wished for that first discussion to have gone any better and I knew I was lucky to have such loving and understanding parents.

It made be think of Edward again, virtually ignored by his mother and father. Even when he told them he was gay, they thought it was just a plea for attention. Suddenly I longed to call him and talk to him about...what? I could tell him what I discovered and he would probably think I was trying to push him to talk about things before I got back. If he hung up on me I would feel worse than I had when he shut himself away from me with his music or by spending more time in the museum or the library. It took me another few minutes to realise that I just wanted to hear his voice and that if he spent an hour talking about a new exhibit in the museum I would have been happy to listen.

My phone beeped with the arrival of a text message and I was relieved by the distraction. I wasn't going to think about him any more; the idea that I missed him made me uncomfortable. The text was from Suzannah, asking if she could see me the next day after we had finished with our respective Thanksgiving dinners. I agreed at once - I wasn't sure what the outcome would be, but at least it gave me something else to think about.

The following day Mom cooked a huge feast as she always did - turkey and all the trimmings and two desserts; an apple pie and a pumpkin one. My grandfather attended along with his brother and told us how several generations ago, most tribes hadn't celebrated Thanksgiving, although traditions had slowly changed over the years and now most did. Winking, Grandpa added that he was pretty sure his family only celebrated for an excuse to stuff themselves more than usual.

I helped Mom with the dishes while the two old men and Dad told the girls more stories and then I headed out to meet Suzannah. She had said she would be down on the beach and I put on a scarf and gloves as well as my warmest coat. It was cold, damp and windy - typical Washington weather - and I didn't want to end up getting sick and spoiling my vacation, as well as my return to college. I saw her walking along the wet sand in a long thick coat and fur-lined boots, a red knitted hat pulled down over her ears. She looked beautiful and I smiled as she headed towards me.

"Hey, Jacob."

"Hey."

"How are you?"

"Yeah, pretty good. How about you?"

"I'm fine."

It was like talking to a stranger. I could hardly believe we had been together a year and I didn't know what to say to her.

"How's college?" she asked then.

"Great." I told her a little about my classes and the juvies.

"It sounds like you're loving being there," she said sadly. "Have you made some new friends?"

"A few. Mark and Blair, these two guys who are on the same course as me and my room mate, Edward."

"No girls, then." She laughed awkwardly.

"No."

"Do you still think about me?"

"Sure, of course I do."

"I really miss you, Jake." She stepped closer and rested her hand on my arm. "I made a mistake ending things. I should have been supporting you rather than being so selfish and worrying about the fact that I couldn't go with you. I guess I kept thinking that you'd meet all these smart amazing people there and not have time for me any more."

___'I did, I met Edward.'_The thought startled me and I felt my face heat up.

Suzannah pulled off the red gloves which matched her hat and shoved them into her pockets, then lifted her hands to touch my face. "I still love you. Do you think we could go back to how we were? I'll be different, I promise. I just...I don't want to be without you."

"I...um...I..." I stuttered.

Before I could string a coherent sentence together, she rose up on tiptoe and pressed her lips to mine. Stunned, I responded automatically. She was familiar, sweet, soft and gentle and for a minute it was like coming home to something I missed. Then Edward's face was in my head, his eyes hurt after I told him Suzannah wanted to see me, to try to work things out. Bizarrely I felt as if I were betraying him and I pulled away quickly.

"I'm sorry, I can't do this."

Her face fell and she wrapped her arms around herself.

"Suze...when you broke up with me it hurt like hell, but I couldn't just let myself sit around pining. It's been almost three months; I got over it and I don't want to go back."

"Three months apart is nothing; we were together for a year," she pointed out.

"Three months would have been nothing if we'd still been together when I left!" I exclaimed. "I didn't just sit around waiting for you to change your mind; I didn't think you would."

"So there is somebody else then?"

"No, there isn't. But I don't love you any more, Suze, I'm sorry." I felt a little sick as I put it so firmly to her and watched her eyes fill with tears and her lips tremble.

"I'm sorry too," she whispered. "I'm...uh...I'm gonna go home."

"You want me to walk you?" I offered guiltily.

She shook her head and a tear dripped from her chin. "I'm fine, I promise. Or I will be. Bye, Jacob."

I stood watching as she walked away briskly. I was a sucker for crying girls, but much as I thought I should run after her and at least make sure she got home, my feet wouldn't budge. I'd done what I had to do and as unkind as it seemed, I felt relieved.

The following day I borrowed Dad's truck and took Claire and Chloe out for a few hours. Since I got my licence when I was sixteen, it had become a regular thing, at least once a month, for me to take the girls on 'an adventure' as they called it. Even as young as I had been then, my parents had trusted me to look after my sisters and I knew the pair loved having their brother to themselves. Often an assortment of their school friends would hang around our house hoping to be invited along and bemoaning the fact that their elder siblings couldn't be bothered with them.

"So where are we going today?" I asked as the pair laboriously fastened their seatbelts, legs dangling, unable to reach the floor.

"Can we go to Seattle and see your room?" Claire asked.

"It's too far away, silly!" Chloe said at once. "Can we go to the beach?"

"The beach is right there," I pointed out, indicating the rolling grey waves in the distance.

"A different beach," said Claire. "A far away one."

"Don't you think it's a bit cold for the beach?"

"We'll be fine. Mom made us wear extra sweaters," Chloe reminded me. "And gloves." She stuck a hand in front of my face. "And hats and scarves and two pairs of socks."

"And we have sandwiches." Claire indicated the small backpack at her feet. "You can share."

"Ok, we'll go to the beach. But if it's raining, we're staying in the truck. Mom won't thank me for taking you home soaking wet."

I pulled the map out of the glovebox and scanned the area, looking for a likely place to visit. First Beach, La Push.___'No!'_I settled on Ruby Beach, which was about eighty miles from home, but it wasn't the longest trip I'd ever taken the girls on. As we set off I plugged my phone into the radio and let them choose music from it to listen to as we travelled. I took my time, estimating the journey to take a little under two hours. Around halfway I spotted road signs indicating turnings for Forks and La Push and both sent shivers down my spine. What if my mother was right there, just ten miles away from me at that moment? Did she ever think about me?

"Ja-___cob!"_Chloe bellowed in my ear and I jumped.

"What? What's the matter?"

"Claire needs a ___pee!"_

"Do not," Claire mumbled, eyes down and face red.

"You said so!"

"Well, I do too," I said, just to make Claire feel better. "There's a gas station up ahead, we'll stop there."

They made use of the facilities while I went into the store and grabbed a bag of snacks for later and then we were back on the road. The last part of the journey was over quickly and as I parked up in the virtually deserted parking lot above Ruby Beach, a strange feeling of familiarity settled over me.

___'I've been here before.'_

I shook myself and climbed out of the truck, waiting for my sisters to jump down and close the door before I locked it. They immediately scampered ahead of me down the path to the sand and I yelled after them to be careful as I followed more slowly. A strong cold wind took my breath away and I shoved my hands into my pockets, scanning the beach for other crazy people braving the weather, but there were none. I kept one eye on the girls as they ran around, picking up shells and stones, their voices whipped away by the wind.

As I looked up and down I saw myself here before on a warmer day. It had been overcast, but dry and the beach had been virtually empty then too. I was with Edward. We swam in the sea and then lay on a rug together, talking, kissing, ___naked._

"Fuck," I muttered. What had we been to each other? Lovers, obviously._ In____ love__._ What did it mean, the fact that we had come together again now? Were we going to go back to.._.____that?_I tried not to imagine myself kissing him now, but the thought forced itself into my head and I shivered.

___'No...not happening...no way.' _I shook my head vigorously and pressed the heels of my hands over my eyes. I was gay. In my previous life I was gay, in love with Edward and now...I didn't feel like ___that__, _but I did miss him and want to hear his voice. I had felt pain...emptiness...when we didn't talk, when I'd upset him.

"Oh, God," I muttered. Did he have feelings for me? I'd questioned that before, but now I felt like we had been together in the past, I began to remember looks he had given me, things he said, and view them in a different way. But maybe I was totally wrong. I ___hoped_I was totally wrong. This whole 'previous life' question was enough for me to deal with, without considering whether or not I might have...___had sex_...with Edward a lifetime ago. Had he thought about us being together that way? Did he picture us as I just had? Lying on a rug naked, touching each other?

I realised I was panting and whimpering in panic and I breathed deep and tried to pull myself together, relieved that Claire and Chloe were far enough away not to be able to hear me and too engrossed in something they had found in a rock pool to be looking at me. I wished for the hundredth time that I could just be a normal kid going to college, but it seemed that fate had other ideas for me and I wasn't going to be able to escape it.


	7. Chapter 7

**As always, thanks to everyone who is reading and enjoying the story and thank you for taking the time to review :o)**

CHAPTER SEVEN

I didn't talk to my parents about the fact that I recognised Ruby Beach. Some things were just too difficult for me to think about properly without having to put them into words. I didn't want to tell them yet that I was becoming more and more certain that I had known Edward before, that I had been ___with_him and because he was involved in every one of the memories I had, I said little about any of it. I needed to talk to him first and I viewed that with mixed feelings. On one hand I found I was excited to get back to college and see him, talk to him and hear him admit that he understood what I was talking about and that the same things were happening to him, but on the other hand I dreaded him confirming it. He was gay, had no doubt accepted that about himself a long time ago even if he didn't broadcast it, but that was something I wasn't ready to admit even to myself. If I'd been with him before and we had been brought together now, it seemed like fate meant for us to go back to the way we had been and I couldn't imagine myself doing that. There had been a couple of instances where I had wanted to hug him, like right before I left him to come home for this short vacation, but a hug was as close as I wanted to get. I was still tempted to call him, but I didn't do it. I would be back at college in less than two days and what would I say on the phone? I couldn't think of anything that wouldn't sound as if I was calling for no reason other than to hear him.

However, it turned out that I didn't have to wait two days to go back. Early Saturday morning before anyone was out of bed, the phone rang. It was Grandpa calling from the hospital to say his brother had a stroke during the night. He wasn't critical, but Dad was almost as close to his uncle as he was to his father and he went to the hospital immediately to be with them. I drove Mom and the girls over there later and it became clear that the old man would remain in hospital a few days. Dad still intended to drive me back to Seattle on Sunday, but I knew he worried about being away for eight hours and I tried to figure out a way to get back to college without him having to take me. If only I had a vehicle of my own. It wasn't possible for me to borrow the truck or the car as it would be more than three weeks before I came home for Christmas and the family would need them. I also knew that Mom wouldn't drive all the way to Seattle and have to make the journey back alone. She was a nervous driver and preferred not to venture further than Port Angeles.

Mom came up with a solution when she remembered one of her younger friends was planning an overnight trip to Seattle. The woman was getting married the next weekend and this trip with two of her friends was her last night of freedom party. Although I was slightly dubious about riding all the way to Seattle with three women I knew only very slightly, it solved the problem and I agreed immediately. Much as I hated to leave my parents and sisters a day early, especially with them worried about Uncle Dale, it also meant I would see Edward in just a few hours. I was packed and waiting for my ride by two-thirty and on the road by three.

Mom's friends weren't bad company, although they were pretty loud and giggly, especially the one who shared the back seat with me. She was the matron of honour and seemed to see the trip as her own last night of freedom rather than the bride's. With two stops for rest room and coffee breaks, the journey seemed endless but at last the car pulled up in front of my accommodation block at seven-forty-five and I thanked the women and headed inside, my heart suddenly beginning to pound. Edward might not even be in the room, I told myself, although he usually was on Saturday nights. After the museum and library closed, unless he went to the diner, mostly with me, he stayed in playing his music or reading.

I paused outside the door for a moment, wiping my sweaty palms on my jeans and cursing myself for feeling so excited about seeing my room mate. My mouth was dry and my pulse racing and I took a deep breath before letting myself in.

"Hey, Edward, I'm back."

He was in the bathroom with the door open and I threw my bag down beside my bed and sat on the edge of it.

"Oh! I thought you were staying until tomorrow," I heard him say.

I leaned forward so that I could see around the bathroom door and noticed him standing in front of the mirror chewing his lip, a stick of something in his hand that looked like the black eyeliner he often wore. He was wearing a black silk shirt I hadn't seen before, black pants and the belt with skulls on it and his hair looked like he had just spent an hour covering it with gel and schooling every strand into place. I gulped and my eyes widened. He was going out?

"My...um...my uncle got sick, my parents needed to be with him so I had to get a ride back with some other people," I said.

"Oh. I'm sorry about your uncle."

"Yeah, thanks."

He appeared in the doorway, eyeliner drawn on perfectly, nails gleaming black as if they had recently been painted. He looked like he had the first day here, only he had obviously made a lot more effort.

"Are you going out?" I asked. ___'Please say no.'_

"Yes. I...um..." He flushed awkwardly and his eyes flew to the door as a loud knock came on the other side of it. "I have a...a...I'm going out with a friend."

___'He has a date?' _My heart plummeted and suddenly I found I could barely breathe. My chest hurt and I clenched my fists. He was going out with ___someone else._

"How do you know...them?" I heard myself ask.

"From...um...the library." His blush deepened and he avoided my eyes.

Another loud knock came on the door. "Ed! You ready?"

"He calls you Ed?" My eyes widened and my heart sank further. He had practically bitten my head off once for abbreviating his name.

"Um...I guess I haven't said...I better...um..." he stuttered and grabbed the door handle, jerking it open quickly.

I ground my teeth and looked up at the guy as he stepped into the room, smiling at Edward. He was a couple inches taller than my room mate and well built. He clearly worked out and he looked kind of similar - black hair pulled back into a tail, long leather coat, big boots, a dog collar with spikes, a piercing in his lip. ___Holy shit._I got to my feet, feeling at a disadvantage.

"Hey, you must be Jacob. I'm Baz," he said, sticking his hand out in my direction. I shook hands numbly as I stared up at him.

"I'll just...um...be a minute," Edward stammered and disappeared back into the bathroom, closing the door this time.

I backed up and shoved my hands into my pockets. I was breathing rapidly through my nose and I could hear my blood rushing in my ears. My jaw ached from clenching it and I felt...it was difficult to describe how I felt. My chest and stomach hurt as if I'd been punched and I had a very strong urge to throw ___Baz _out of the room and lock the door; I wanted to...___keep Edward safe._

"You're back early," Baz said now. "Ed said you were away until tomorrow."

"Change of plan," I grunted. '_He hates being called Ed!'_

"You got friends you can go hang out with?"

"Why?" I narrowed my eyes.

"Well, we were planning on having a little alone time later."

He actually winked and I swallowed hard, hoping I wouldn't vomit. The thought of this stranger pawing at Edward horrified me, but he had obviously agreed to the date and I told myself firmly that it wasn't my business. The bathroom door opened and Edward came out, avoiding looking at either of us. I stepped past Baz towards the door quickly.

"I'm going to catch up with Mark and Blair if they're back," I said. "See you later."

I didn't wait to see if Edward answered me; I charged away down the corridor, trying to squash down the feelings that were bubbling up inside me - disappointment, anxiety,___jealousy._Maybe not that last one, it wasn't as if I wanted to date him myself, but at the same time I hated the thought of him out with that guy, laughing, maybe holding hands, kissing. I shuddered as I halted outside Mark and Blair's door and knocked loudly. Mark opened the door a second later.

"What the fuck are you doing back? Thought you were staying until tomorrow," he said in surprise.

"Yeah, nice to see you too." I walked into the room and sat on Blair's bed.

"He's at the diner," Mark told me. "Until nine. So, did you miss us so much you had to come back a day early?"

___'I missed Edward.'_

"My great uncle is sick, my parents need to be with him so I had to get a ride back with someone else," I explained.

"I'm sorry, I hope he's ok."

"Thanks. Me too. How come you're both back today?"

He laughed. "Guess I missed the place. Blair didn't want to miss a shift."

I was glad when Mark announced there was a movie showing that he wanted to watch and then switched on his TV. I didn't want to have to keep talking and the movie was at least a partial distraction from my thoughts. However, as time went on and I kept glancing at the clock, I couldn't get Edward out of my mind. Where were they? What kind of date was it? Dinner? The movies? Were they already back in the room? How long should I leave it before I went back?

Nine o'clock passed and Blair returned in time to catch the second half of the movie. I fidgeted and gnawed on my lip, my guts knotted up with anxiety. By ten I was having a possibly irrational bad feeling about Baz and his request that I make myself scarce so that he could have 'alone time' with Edward. What the hell did that mean? Did he just mean they wanted some privacy for cuddles and kisses or was he planning on trying to fuck Edward? I clenched my fists harder until my nails cut into my palms. Was that really what Edward wanted? Somehow I just couldn't picture him jumping into bed with someone he barely knew. He had said he only had one boyfriend before so he clearly didn't sleep around. I began to sweat and my heart slammed against my ribs. What if the guy wanted more than Edward did? He was bigger, stronger, he could probably get what he wanted regardless of Edward's feelings. My unease began to turn into anger and I glanced at the clock again; ten-fifteen.

"Are you late for something?" Blair grinned.

"No, I...um...I don't feel so good, I think I'm gonna go back to my room and get some sleep."

I got up quickly. If I interrupted something and Edward was actually into it, it was too bad. I was entitled to be in my own room; it wasn't Edward who asked me to disappear.

"See you tomorrow."

I left my friends and once the door closed behind me I bolted back to my room, my breath coming in harsh gasps. I was a jerk; he would be fine and I would probably just wreck his date with the guy. I skidded to a halt outside the door and pulled the magnetic card that opened it out of my pocket. I hesitated then, worried I might walk in on something I would rather not see.

I heard a loud thump from inside and then Edward's voice.

"Let me go!"

___'Fuck!'_

"Fucking tease!" Baz growled. This was followed by muffled sounds that could have been punches and I fumbled to get the door open, dropping the card on the floor and stooping to grab it again in a panic.

___'Shit. I should have come back earlier. I should have trusted my instincts.'_

Finally I got the card in position and the door swung inwards. Everything I was feeling was overtaken by rage and I rushed into the room. Edward was lying on his bed, Baz straddling him and pinning him there, tearing his shirt open with one hand. His free hand gripped one of Edward's wrists while my room mate shoved at him ineffectually, coughing and spluttering as blood gushed from his nose.

___"Get the fuck off of him!"_I roared as I threw myself at the guy, my momentum and determination knocking him off the bed onto the floor. I landed on top of him and pushed myself up with my hand braced on his chest, succeeding in slamming my other fist into his jaw before he threw me off.

"Who the hell are you to interfere?" he demanded, lurching to his feet. I sprang up too, my fists clenched.

"Get the fuck out of my room!" I barely recognised my own voice; I sounded almost gutteral and utterly furious. "Stay away from ___Edward _in the future!"

"What are you gonna do about it?"

I threw another punch at his stomach, which he deflected, but in turn I ducked out of the way as he aimed for my head. I noticed Edward from the corner of my eye as he slid off the bed and stumbled into the bathroom, coughing. Baz looked at him, distracted just long enough for my fist to connect with his face, making him stagger backwards.

"Get out of here before I call the cops!" I snarled.

He backed out of the room then, muttering that it was more effort than it was worth. I kicked the door closed behind him, panting for breath and struggling to control myself. I couldn't ever remember feeling such rage and I forced myself to calm down as I turned towards the bathroom.

Edward was kneeling on the tiles, his arm resting on the rim of the toilet as he coughed up the blood he had swallowed, more still dripping from his nose and I hesitated in the doorway, gripping the jambs at either side of me as I was instantly assaulted by another, much more shocking memory than any previous.

___Edward and I were in some kind of cell, two sides being formed by stone walls and the other two of metal bars embedded in the floor and ceiling. Other than a toilet and a narrow bunk, there was nothing else; it was like a prehistoric jail._

___Edward placed a hand over his mouth and coughed hard. When he removed his hand I noticed blood on the palm and my stomach lurched, with fear rather than revulsion. He threw himself off the bunk suddenly, landing on his knees on the floor in front of the toilet. He had moved impossibly fast and I watched, horrified, as great gouts of blood exploded from his mouth into the toilet bowl._

I blinked rapidly. I was shaking and my damp palms slipped on the wooden door frame either side of me. What the fuck was that? I dropped my eyes to Edward where he kneeled in front of me, still spitting out bloody saliva and I pulled myself together quickly and went to him as he straightened up and tipped his head back.

"Don't put your head back, it'll just run down your throat again." I put my hand on the back of his neck to push his head forward and grabbed a towel to mop up the blood. "Hold this."

He took the towel from me and I pinched the bridge of his nose with the finger and thumb of my free hand, relieved that this was something we had been told just a couple of weeks earlier when one of the juvies fell on the hockey field and smashed his face on the edge of the goal. Edward continued snuffling and spluttering into the towel and I ground my teeth together as I thought of how he got this way. At that moment I felt as protective of him as I usually did of my sisters, only in a different way and it was all I could do to stay calm enough to take care of him.

It took a few minutes for the bleeding to stop and I guessed he was going to have two black eyes by the morning. Eventually he took the towel away from his face and opened his eyes, avoiding looking at me. His eyeliner was smeared from his watering eyes and blood had dripped onto his chest where the torn fronts of his shirt hung apart. He looked miserable and scared and again I wanted to wrap my arms around him and hug him.

"Let me check that out, make sure it's not broken," I said roughly.

"I'm ok."

"Edward, either let me look, or I'm taking you to the hospital," I threatened and he slowly turned his face towards me. I gingerly felt along his nose, making him flinch and groan, but noting that it wasn't broken. Then I grabbed a face cloth and soaked it in warm water before I began carefully wiping the blood off of him.

"You don't have to do this," he whispered.

I ignored him and carried on until his face was clean of both blood and eyeliner and then handed him the cloth to wipe his hands and chest.

"Who the hell was that guy?" I growled then, sounded more aggressive than I intended.

"He...um...he works in the library. He's not a student." His pale face reddened and he squeezed his eyes shut. "Don't ask me about it, ok? I made a mistake."

"He's the one who made the mistake. Jeez, Edward. When I came in here and saw what he was doing, I wanted to kill him!" I exclaimed fiercely.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't say that, you didn't do anything wrong."

"You're pissed."

"Not with you." I got to my feet and took hold of his arm to help him up.

"Why did you come back early?" he asked.

"Long story. My Dad couldn't drive me back so I had to get a ride with someone who happened to be coming to Seattle today. Sit." I indicated his bed and he sat down carefully and slid his arms out of his ruined shirt, grabbing the tee from beneath his pillow that he had apparently slept in the previous night and slipping it on.

"I'm glad you came back," he said softly.

"Yeah, well I wish I'd stayed in the room."

___'I'm sorry I couldn't keep you safe.'_

The words in my head were ones I had said to him before and I remembered the vision I had when I saw him coughing up blood. What had caused that...before? We would talk about it, I decided, not now, but soon when Edward had gotten over this.

"He asked you to go out, didn't he?"

"Yeah. I had a bad feeling about it," I admitted. "I guess at the time I figured you knew what you were doing."

"Maybe I don't. I don't do this kind of thing." He shuffled further onto his bed and curled up on his side. "If you hadn't come back, he would have..."

He groaned and closed his eyes and I shuddered as I imagined what would have happened if I hadn't shown up when I had. I went over to his bed and kneeled on the floor next to it, resting my hand on his arm.

"Well, I did come back. You're ok; I'm not gonna let anybody hurt you."

"I'm sorry you had to get involved in this."

"Edward, stop saying sorry to me," I sighed. "I ___am _involved and it's fate's doing, not yours." I hadn't meant to say that, at least not right now, and I hoped it wouldn't make him withdraw from me again, but he opened his eyes again slowly and met mine.

"I know."

___At last._

I smiled, despite the awful circumstances and gave his arm a squeeze. "Let's talk about it when you feel better."

"Ok."

I got to my feet and quickly unpacked my bag before making use of the bathroom to change into the shorts and shirt I planned to sleep in. There were droplets of blood on the floor and the rim of the toilet and I cleaned everything up before I returned to the room.

Edward was sitting up again, propped against his pillows and in the process of chewing the black polish off one of his nails. The inner corners of his eyes were beginning to look bruised and I imagined he would be wearing his dark glasses for a few days. I didn't think he would feel like sleeping for a while and I sure as hell didn't, even though I had gone through the motions of getting ready for bed, so I filled the kettle and began making hot chocolate from a jar of rich powder Mom had included in the care package she had prepared for me to bring back.

"You want to watch a movie or something?" I suggested.

"Don't you want to sleep?"

"I'm not tired." I passed him one of the mugs and he wrapped both hands around it and sipped the chocolate.

"Thanks for this."

"So what do you want to watch?" I asked. "Do you have any movies or anything?"

"Some." He opened one of the drawers in his chest and removed a memory device from a small case. "Pick something off here if you want."

I plugged it into the TV and switched on. The menu listed over a hundred movies and programmes and I scrolled down, noting a lot of the downloads related to science fiction. I hadn't heard of many of the titles and picked one at random, then shuffled over to the side of my bed nearest the wall and leaned against the pillows.

"Come sit over here, you'll be able to see better." I suddenly wanted him closer to me and I figured he might appreciate the proximity, but I was still surprised when he got up and crossed the room to join me.

The movie was about an alien race which had been marked for extinction by humans and the ensuing battle between the two. I actually found it pretty interesting and guessed this was one of the things which influenced Edward's writing. Two hours passed easily and it was past one o'clock when the credits rolled. I was struggling to keep my eyes open by then and realised that sitting with Edward watching the movie had effectively pushed the horrors of earlier down far enough in my mind for me to be able to relax and sleep. The same seemed to apply to him as he returned to his own bed, yawning, and got into it. He was asleep in minutes and I took the mugs into the bathroom to be washed in the morning and went to bed too.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N - As always, thank you to everyone who is reading. I guess that if you're reading this, then you will have read "United We Fall" for which this story is the sequel. I'm delighted to report that "United We Fall" has been nominated for Top Ten Favourite Fics at _www twifanfictionrecs com_ so if you enjoyed it and you like my work, I'll be eternally grateful if you would pop over there and vote for me :o) Voting ends 1 March 2013. Thank you very much! xxx**

CHAPTER EIGHT

When I woke Sunday morning, Edward was already up typing something on his laptop, still in his pyjama pants and t-shirt. The inner corners of his eyes and the areas beneath them were shadowed purple in stark contrast with his pale skin and I flinched as I remembered the asshole who did that to him. I watched him type for several minutes and he didn't seem to notice me. When I eventually spoke, he jumped as if he were in a world of his own.

"Hey, Edward. How'd you sleep?"

"Not too bad."

"Got any plans for today?"

"I need to work on this..." He indicated the laptop. "I'm writing something for a competition."

"Cool."

I pulled myself up, realising he was probably going to use his writing to avoid talking to me again. After the events of the previous night I couldn't really blame him and I went to take a shower, trying to think up some things I could do to pass the time whilst staying in the room to keep him company. I called home to check on my Uncle Dale and was relieved to hear that he was to be discharged Monday if he continued to improve. Then I spent several hours studying until Mark turned up at the door towards the end of the afternoon, wanting to hang out.

"I've got things to do," I told him at once.

"Like what? Come on, man, it's still the holidays."

"Sorry, I really have some stuff to catch up on," I said.

Mark took off a minute later, muttering something about me getting weird and boring and I stretched out on my bed again and picked up the book I had been reading.

"Why didn't you go with him?" Edward asked. "You haven't even turned a page in that book for half an hour."

"I figured you might want some company."

"Thanks, but I'm ok."

"Are you sure? Anybody would have been shaken up by what happened. Aren't you using your writing to escape, even a little bit?"

Edward sighed, saved whatever he had been working on and closed the laptop. "I'm actually starving; I just didn't particularly want to go out to the diner and..." He indicated his bruised face, but I had a feeling it was more to do with the fear of running into Baz that was keeping him in the room.

"So let's go to the student diner," I said at once. "Put your dark glasses on. No one's going to bother us in there, except maybe Blair trying to be funny, but you can ignore him or tell him to go to hell."

Edward smiled. "Thanks," he said and began to put his boots on.

It was Blair who waited on us in the diner. It was early for dinner and the place was only about a quarter full so he was able to hang around the table making a nuisance of himself.

"You know, dark glasses are cool, but it's November and we're indoors," he smirked as he took our orders.

"What would you know? You're the least cool guy I know," I responded.

"Jerk."

"You won't get a tip if you insult your customers."

"Since when did you ever tip me?" he grunted. "Where's Mark? I thought he was gonna do something with you today?"

"I was busy earlier," I said. "Still am."

Blair eyed Edward curiously and shrugged, then took himself off to fetch the cherry cokes we ordered. They were delivered moments later in their bottles, the caps removed and a pair of empty glasses to pour them into if we wished. I stared at my bottle and wrapped my hand around it, but I didn't pick it up. I clenched my teeth as an image filled my head, of drinking cherry coke in another time.

_I was sitting on a cheap plastic hospital chair with Edward beside me. Somehow I knew he was sick, even though he wasn't the reason we were at the hospital. He was suffering in some way and I could feel his pain myself - a tight burning in my chest and throat. Another man walked in; tall, dark haired and packed with muscle, his skin as pale as Edward's. He sat in front of us, a bag in his hand._

_"You look like shit, bro," he said to Edward. "Brought you something." He opened the bag and pulled out two bottles of cherry coke, handing us one each. The seal on Edward's bottle was broken and I watched as he uncapped it and raised it to his lips. The liquid visible through the glass above the label on the bottle looked thick and viscous and Edward gulped the contents in one go. I knew it wasn't coke..._

"Jacob, are you ok?"

I jerked my head up and found Edward leaning across the table looking at me with concern, his hand gripping my arm. I nodded numbly.

"What happened? You're really pale."

"I saw...something. A memory...I don't know."

He licked his lips and gulped. "What was it?"

"We were in a hospital, waiting for news of someone. You were sick too; I could feel what you were feeling. Another guy came to us, brought us cherry coke." I picked up my bottle and poured it into the glass. "I feel like I'm going mad."

"I'm sorry," Edward murmured. "I'm sorry I've avoided it for so long. I just...I guess I hoped if I pretended it wasn't happening, it would all go away."

"Do you know what 'it' is exactly?" I asked.

"No." He shook his head. "I told you my family are atheists. It's hard for me to believe anything that's not related to science, but it's harder to ignore...this."

I looked down at his hand where it still rested on my arm and noticed the bruised knuckles from where he had tried to defend himself against Baz. "We should probably not talk about this here," I said reluctantly.

"What shouldn't you talk about? Sounds interesting!" Blair appeared again with two plates of food in his hands, his eyebrows raised. Edward snatched his hand off my arm quickly and flushed, which didn't go unnoticed by Blair. "What am I missing?"

"Nothing, Blair, leave us alone to eat our food, assuming it's edible," I joked.

"Oh, come on, nothing exciting ever happens in here," Blair said, placing the plates in front of us. "What's the big secret?"

"There isn't a secret, Blair; we're having a private conversation, if that's alright with you," I frowned. He left us a moment later and I picked up my fork.

"I thought he was your friend," Edward said in surprise.

"Yeah, but so are you and right now, I'm with you."

_'I'd rather be with you than anyone else.'_

I felt my face heat up at the thought and tried to concentrate on my food rather than him, but I had to force down every bite with the help of the cherry coke. I had lost my appetite and all I could think about was sharing my dreams and visions with him and discovering what had been happening to him. We didn't speak as we walked back to the room and my heart banged nervously against my ribs, my stomach knotted and anxious. I didn't know where to start and I looked at Edward hopefully when I sat down on my bed, wanting him to either start himself or ask me something, but he paced about, tugging his hands through his hair and looking as tense as I felt.

"Edward, come and sit down," I urged and he halted, then sank slowly onto the edge of my bed a couple of feet away from me.

"When did this start for you?" he asked.

"When I was ten."

He snatched his dark glasses off as his eyes flew to my face. _"Ten?"_

I told him about my parents telling me I was adopted which was followed by the searching dream, making me think I wanted to find my mother.

"It stopped when I went to highschool," I said. "Then I had it right before I came here. When you walked in the room...I knew you. You looked familiar - your hair and your eyes are a different colour, but I recognised your face and I knew your name before you said it. I tried to tell myself I saw it on the label on your case, but I knew I hadn't. I guess I tried to pretend these things weren't happening too. I've had that dream a couple more times, but you were in it. I was never looking for my mother, I was looking for you. There isn't the feeling of being lost in it any more, just anticipation of meeting someone." I dropped my eyes away from his uncomfortably and waited for him to speak.

"I told you I had that dream once, or similar, but you weren't in it. There was just..."

"An animal in the trees," I interrupted. "Was it a red wolf?"

Edward blanched. "Who are you? I mean, if this is more than visions, or whatever the hell they are; if we really knew each other in another life, _what were you?"_

"I found out something when I went home. I'd read about certain tribes...that day when you were mad that I read your book without asking, I realised I probably wasn't Makah. I carried on looking on the internet and then I asked my parents. Have you read all of that book?" I asked him.

"Yes."

"I'm Quileute. My parents didn't tell me as a child because they thought I might be bullied for being different. I told my Dad I'd had some dreams that made me think I was and he confirmed it. He believes in this stuff. He told me most tribes have beliefs that their souls go on somewhere else, whether it's to be with their ancestors or whether they eventually come back in another form or another life."

"You think you were...a shape-shifter?"

"It sounds ridiculous, doesn't it?" I said. "I know you don't believe this stuff. I'm finding it pretty hard to swallow too."

Edward gulped and looked down at his hands. "What else do you remember?"

"Odd little things. Like I was down at the waterfront - I was with Mark and Blair - and we looked at a touring boat. I remembered taking a trip on one with you from Port Angeles. You gave me a..."

"...dreamcatcher."

"You remember?" I gasped.

"I didn't until just now. I don't actually remember that much, Jacob. I've told myself they're not memories, just some kind of weird dreams. People dream all kinds of shit, right?"

"Yeah, they do, but they don't often dream of doing things with people they think they only just met, like they're memories. Edward, when you were hurt last night I saw something else that I didn't understand. You were in the bathroom spitting up blood and I saw us in some kind of jail cell. You coughed up blood, but there was...a lot of it, more than just from a nosebleed."

"Don't." Edward squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head vigorously. "That really was in your head, just from seeing me like that."

"Then why was it so clear? It was like I was remembering something that happened. I didn't make that shit up, Edward."

"What did I look like?" he whispered.

"What do you mean?"

"How did I look to you? My skin, my hair, eyes..."

"You were very pale, white almost, with red lips; your hair was kind of wild like when you don't gel it, but a sort of bronze colour and your eyes...changed colour. Sometimes gold, sometimes black."

Edward hung his head and I noticed a tear escape from beneath his long lashes and roll down his cheek. His lips trembled and he bit hard into the lower one, then dropped his face into his hands. He mumbled something I couldn't make out, followed by a choking sob.

_'Shit.'_

"Edward...hey..." I scooted close to him and touched his shoulder. "It's not that bad. You're not alone in this any more."

He jerked his head up and looked at me through wild wet eyes the colour of moss.

"It might not be that bad for you! You were just from a different tribe than you thought; maybe you could turn into a wolf, maybe not. You were a good person! Whatever you were, if that were true then you were a protector! I was..." He stopped and jumped to his feet, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes. "Fuck. Don't you know? Didn't you get that from your dreams? I've been telling myself for weeks it's bullshit because things like that don't exist..._can't exist..."_ He lowered his hands to his sides, clenching his fists and beginning to pace. "Jacob, what's so pale that it looks dead? What has eyes that change colour - gold when it's satisfied, black when it's thirsty or angry or, God forbid, _excited?_ What else? Did you ever see me move, so fast that your eyes couldn't follow? Did you touch me, feel that I was cold?"

My mouth dropped open as I pictured him running alongside me in the forest, impossibly fast so that he blurred; I remembered him giving me the dreamcatcher and I cupped his face in my hands, brought my lips to his and they were ice cold; I remembered his eyes, gold as he gazed at me, black in the hospital, black when we lay on the rug at Ruby Beach together. I was still missing something...it was there at the back of my mind and I couldn't quite grasp it.

"I was a killer, Jacob. A vampire. If all of this is true, I was a monster."

He stopped pacing and wrapped his arms around himself, shivering miserably in the middle of the room until I got up and went to him. I hesitated briefly and then wrapped my arms around him, the way I had been wanting to do for a while. I hugged him tight and felt his arms slide around my back and hold onto me. I needed the comfort of the hug too as I pictured him the way he had been in my memories - white and cold and _dead._ I had to remind myself that wasn't the case now, concentrate on the warmth of him against me, remind myself that he was just a normal boy, like me.

"Tell me none of this is real," he whispered. "Please. I don't want to be...that."

"I can't," I murmured in his ear.

"That's what I'm afraid of. That's why I wouldn't talk."

I loosened my hold on him and drew him down to sit on the bed again. "Neither of us are those creatures now," I reminded him. "I don't know when this was supposed to have happened, but they weren't us...exactly."

"But part of them are in us. We look like them. You just told me what I looked like and you were right. You look the same as before; identical."

"How much do you remember?" I asked him.

"Very little. Vague things, like when you talked about the boat I remembered that. We were with two friends of yours. I remember you coming to meet me in the forest, running with you. The rest of it is all about me; how I looked, felt...it seemed like I had been that way a long time."

"I don't know. You were around my age when we were together," I mused.

"Together?"

"Uh...um..." I felt my face burning and I looked away from him. "Never mind. What's more important is what we're supposed to do with this. I've felt like fate brought us together for some reason; to finish something we didn't get to do maybe. I don't know. I haven't thought that far. Part of the time I've done the same thing you have; told myself it wasn't happening, that it was just dreams."

"Whatever the reason, it doesn't change the fact that I was...that I killed people," Edward groaned. "How am I supposed to accept that was me...before?"

"I don't know. We need to find out who we were. I mean, find out properly, look into family history or something. My parents said they would be ok with me looking for my mother. If I found her, maybe she could help. There might be explanations..."

"I'm not sure if I want to find out any more. I'm afraid of what we might uncover."

"So am I," I admitted. "But I think we're just going to keep being bothered by these memories until we do find out the truth."

"I need a little time to get my head around even this much." Edward drew away from me again and crossed the room to his own bed. "I dreaded this - talking to you about it. Now I feel like my mind is too full to take any more in."

"I know," I nodded. "Mine too. You're not going to pull away from me again though, are you?"

"No. I promise. I need you."

I sucked my breath in at this surprising statement and simply sat looking at him as he stretched out and folded his hands together on his chest. We hadn't really talked much, I realised, but my head was filled with a jumble of thoughts and my temples were beginning to ache. The biggest revelation was that Edward had been a...I could barely bring myself to think the word. Was that true? Didn't they only exist in horror stories? I had to remind myself that I had already accepted the Quileutes, of which I was one, had the ability to shift into the form of wolves, so was the existence of vampires any more difficult to believe?

We lay in silence for some time, thinking and then Edward got up and went to the bathroom to get ready for bed. I followed suit and by the time I returned to the room in my shorts and tee, he already seemed to be asleep, curled up under his comforter and breathing deeply. I only hoped I could doze off as quickly to give myself a break from my thoughts.

_Edward lay on the bunk motionless beside me. Ever since he had vomited up the blood he had ingested, I had been terrified for him. He had told me it was poison to him and now I feared he would die, either from any that remained inside of him, or from starvation. His hand was fisted in the front of my shirt and I folded both arms around him, cradling his cold hard body against mine. I too was weak; I hadn't eaten properly for too long and my body had needed to heal its injuries which had used up the small amount of sustenance I'd had. We were dying; I could almost feel Edward slipping away from me. He had lost consciousness some time ago and I only prayed I would follow him quickly. I couldn't live without him._

_"I'm sorry I couldn't keep you safe," I murmured and then I closed my eyes and willed myself to give up._

I jerked upright in bed, my t-shirt clinging wetly to my upper body, my chest heaving with the effort of sucking air into my lungs. Fuck it. It had seemed like we were dying; had that been the end of us? I peeled my shirt off and used it to wipe the sweat from my face, then glanced across the room at Edward, hoping I hadn't disturbed him. My breath caught in my throat as I saw him, face down, his head and one arm hanging off the side of the bed. The comforter and sheet had slid off and uncovered him. I scrubbed my hands over my eyes, the dream still too vivid in my head, reminding myself we were here, now, in college, two normal boys...

My eyes landed on a small bottle on his bed table - a pill bottle lying on its side, empty. I flew across the room to him and snatched up the small white container, peering at the label in the semi-darkness. Ambien, sleeping pills, prescribed to Elizabeth Masen.

"Fuck!" I hissed and tentatively lowered my free hand to Edward's arm. His skin felt cold and in my panic I couldn't see any movement to indicate he was even breathing. "Edward! Oh, Christ!" I grabbed him and turned him over so that he lay flat on his back, head rolling. "Edward! What the fuck have you done?!"


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE

Edward's eyes opened slowly and looked up at me blearily, before he blinked and his face became anxious.

"Oh, God! Edward!" I gasped.

"Are you ok? Did you dream something?" He rubbed his hands over his face and yawned, then sat up slowly. He raised a hand to my cheek and brushed wetness away. "Why are you crying?"

"Um...I thought you were dead," I whispered. Looking into his wide eyes, it seemed like a stupid thing to say.

"Dead? Why would you think that?" He yawned again and tugged his fingers through his hair. "I'm freezing."

"Fuck. I dreamed...I thought..." I began to babble helplessly. "We were in that cell again and you were dying and I thought I was...I hoped I was so we'd go together. Then I woke up and you were hanging off the bed, not moving and the pill bottle..." I gestured towards it shakily. "I thought maybe...I don't know, you were so upset yesterday...how many did you take?"

"One. There was only one left; I was worrying and I couldn't sleep." His teeth chattered slightly and I reached down to grab the fallen comforter and pulled it over both of us. Somehow my arms were around him, crushing him against me and after a moment he slid an arm around my neck and pulled me down against the pillows. "I guess I'm just cold because the covers fell off. You really thought I tried to kill myself?"

"Fuck," I muttered again, squeezing my eyes shut and pressing my wet face against his shoulder. My heart was still hammering in panic and I could barely breathe. "Don't ever do that, will you? I can't lose you again."

"I won't; I don't want to die, Jacob, I'm just freaked out." His cold hand touched the back of my neck and stroked through my hair. "What did you mean when you said you can't lose me again?"

"You know I said yesterday I thought we were together?"

"Yes, you changed the subject right after."

"I didn't really want to think about that part. And now I am thinking about it and I happen to be..." I pulled away slightly, feeling my face warming. "...in your bed. Um...anyway...I think we were together and we died really young somehow, just when it seemed that we had everything we wanted. I don't know why I think that because I haven't seen it exactly. I took my sisters to the beach a few days ago - a beach I'd never been to - and I recognised it. I saw us together lying on a rug there. I don't think we died in that cell because I have a feeling we were only together after that...we must have escaped. I can't really...I mean, I'm not...I wasn't..." I stopped with a groan, wondering if I had made any sense at all. I could barely think straight and I was still shaking, my heart thumping wildly.

"Just because that might have happened in the past, doesn't mean it has to again," Edward said calmly. His fingers continued to stroke through my hair and gradually I began to relax.

"I didn't mention this because I thought it would embarrass you," he continued. "Besides the forest dream, I did have one other and it was about us being together. I think that's the main reason I went on that date. I thought if I found somebody to be with it would stop it being true. I'm not under any illusion you want me like that."

_'I can't lose you again.'_

Those words I had blurted out came to mind and I was filled with confusion. When I had briefly thought he might have died, I had been terrified, agonised and when he opened his eyes I was filled with a relief so intense I'd been crying, or perhaps that had been the fright. What was he supposed to be to me now? He was right, I didn't want him 'like that', but would that change? Could I ever be with somebody other than him, when even kissing Suzannah had made me feel guilty? When lying next to him now, holding him, felt...

"What are you thinking?" he murmured.

"I don't know...a whole jumble of shit."

I edged closer again until I rested against him completely - chest to chest, arms holding each other, legs together, his cold feet on my warm ones. It felt _right._ There was nothing sexual about it, but I cared about him and having him so close was...a relief. I buried my face in his neck with a sigh and breathed in the scent of him - warm Edward and the shower gel he used which I remembered was called 'Sea Breeze'.

"Me too," he said. "I'm sorry I gave you a scare. They're my mother's sleeping pills; she never missed them. I was nervous when I first came here and I thought they'd help me sleep."

"Do your family really not bother with Thanksgiving?" I asked him. I was reminded of it by the mention of his mother and I drew my head back again and looked at him.

"My parents usually have plans. They go away with friends."

"Without you?"

"Yes, since I was about fourteen."

"Shit," I muttered. "That's rough."

"I'm used to it. I think they're glad I'm at college now; they've got their life back."

I was horrified. I couldn't imagine my parents not wanting me around, especially on the holidays and I felt sad for Edward that his parents seemed to view him as a responsibility they were keen to get rid of.

"I wish you'd told me that before," I said. "You could have spent Thanksgiving with my family."

"Jacob, I couldn't do that. Your parents don't even know me; they wouldn't want your weird room mate turning up..."

"You're not weird," I interrupted. "And you don't know my parents. They'd have loved to have you visit. Any friend of mine is welcome under their roof, whether it's for coffee or dinner or to camp out for a week."

"I'd have felt awkward, encroaching on your family. Besides, you didn't need me around. You said you were going to fix things with your girlfriend."

"No, I said she wanted to see me to talk about things," I corrected. Again I was reminded of my strange feeling of guilt when I'd kissed her and suddenly it seemed incredibly important that I make it clear to him we didn't get back together.

"She said she made a mistake breaking up with me, but it was three months ago," I said. "I got over it and I told her there's no going back now. It's finished."

I didn't think I imagined his slight intake of breath before he answered me. "I'm sorry. I guess you weren't thinking about getting back with her though."

"No."

"We should probably think about getting some more sleep," Edward murmured then. "We're going to be falling asleep in class otherwise and I feel like a zombie. Those pills work for eight to ten hours."

There seemed no question of me going back to my own bed. I felt comfortable and happy to be close to him and I could feel that he was getting warm again. He didn't pull away from me or ask me to leave and I closed my eyes, willing myself to relax and hoping I wasn't going to be bothered by any more nightmares.

When I opened my eyes it was daylight and Edward was draped across me, his head on my shoulder and arm around my waist, one leg hooked over mine and his morning erection resting against my hip. Much to my relief, it was one of the rare days I hadn't woken with a hard-on and although I wasn't horrified to find him like that, I was decidedly uncomfortable. Then I imagined Edward waking to discover his situation and knew he would be completely mortified. I considered slipping away from him to return to my own bed, but I couldn't have managed it without disturbing him, so I stayed still, cringing somewhat and praying he wouldn't sleep for much longer.

A few minutes later he moved slightly, his head turning so that his nose brushed my neck. He grunted softly and shifted again, then sucked his breath in suddenly and peeled himself off of me an inch at a time. I could almost feel the heat of his embarrassment as he crept off the bed and I remained motionless until I heard the bathroom door close, then rolled over onto my front. I stayed there until he returned maybe fifteen minutes later and then pretended to stir slowly, shuffling and grunting, then turning over and rubbing my hands over my face.

"What time is it?"

"Um...it's eight o'clock," Edward said.

I looked up at him and noted he was a touch red-faced, but apparently relieved that I hadn't 'woken' and caught him in such an unfortunate position.

"Your eyes look better," I commented. They were still bruised, but the purple had faded very slightly.

"I still look like hell."

"Don't worry about it. If anyone comments, tell them they should see the other guy."

I hauled myself out of his bed and grabbed a change of clothes before I went to shower. When I returned, he had made the bed and was sitting on the edge of it.

"I'm sorry about last night," he said.

"Sorry for what? I was the one having the crazy dream and freaking out. At least we can talk about this now, right?"

"Yeah. I guess we need to explore it some more when neither of us is upset over something. You obviously remember more than me; I don't know why that is, but maybe you could share it with me?"

I nodded eagerly. "Better keep those kind of conversations in this room though. I have to get to class, do you want to meet me for lunch?" I suggested.

"Are you sure? Won't you be with your friends?" Edward asked in surprise.

"They're not that bad."

"I meant, won't they have a problem with me joining you?"

"If they do, it's too bad. What do you normally do for lunch? I've seen you sitting on your own a few times," I remembered.

"Yeah, well I often just get sandwiches and sit by the fields or something. I'll be in the diner today though, around twelve-thirty?"

As I made my way to my first class of the day, I found I felt happier and more relaxed than I had in a while and I knew it was mostly the result of finally being able to talk to Edward about what was happening to us. I found it difficult to accept the part about him having been a vampire, but I reasoned that if Quileute boys had been able to shape-shift, there was every reason to believe that vampires and other supernatural creatures existed too. The idea horrified Edward, but I could only think that there must have been something good about his previous life if he had been with me. I decided I was going to research the subject as much as I could and try to find out something which might make him feel better. I doubted very much he had looked into it himself because it would have meant at least considering the possibility of it being real.

At lunch time, I headed over to the diner with Mark and Blair and we were already seated with our meals when Edward showed up. I watched as he grabbed a sandwich, chips and a coke from the food counter and then began to head hesitantly in our direction.

"Edward!" I waved him over and shoved the empty seat out from the table for him. Blair and Mark both looked up when he sat down.

"What happened to you?" Blair asked in surprise. Edward was wearing his regular glasses, which did nothing to hide the bruises.

"Walked into a door," he replied with a wry smile, much to my surprise.

"Fuck," Mark said. "Do you need somebody to kick the shit out of it?"

"No, thanks, it's dealt with."

He peeked at me over the top of his glasses, eyes twinkling before he bit into his sandwich. I grinned back and returned to my meal.

Mark and Blair actually talked to Edward a little over lunch and when I continued to the afternoon lecture with the two guys, both said that they thought my room mate was actually ok and that his weird look seemed like a smokescreen. Mark suggested I bring him along if we did anything on the weekends and I nodded, although I privately thought I would prefer to have Edward to myself, especially with everything that was going on. At least they were giving him a chance, which was an improvement. It suddenly seemed important to me that my friends like him.

Late that afternoon when classes were over, I returned to my room to find Edward writing a paper for his history class. He looked up briefly and said he would soon be finished, so I spent the time cooking a microwave dinner for us to share. When he put his laptop away, we ate the food and then spent some time talking.

I told him everything I could remember - the little familiarities and the bigger more intense memories or dreams or whatever they were. Edward struggled to remember any of it except for the boat trip, where he recalled I had given him a gift of some sort too. Neither of us could understand why I was able to remember so many things, some of which were expanded upon as we talked, while he wasn't able to.

"It's like there's a fog in my head and I can't see through it," he said at one point.

"You said that you'd been worrying for weeks about...um..." I struggled to say it and cleared my throat. "...having been a vampire..."

"You hate it too, don't you?" he interrupted, screwing his face up.

"No, I don't, Edward, it's just that I've found it difficult to believe the things that I've dreamed about and me having been able to turn into a wolf and you being a vampire is the toughest part to get over. I obviously didn't hate what you were then, did I?"

"Shouldn't we have been enemies? I've read that the Quileute shape-shifters were supposed to kill vampires to protect their tribe."

"We need to read more," I said. "Maybe if we can understand more about the legends, or stories, it'll make more sense."

"Tell me about the cell again." He got up from his bed and crossed the room to mine. "Can I sit here?"

"Of course."

He climbed over me and sat on the bed with his back to the wall, cross-legged and level with my knees as I sprawled there. I tried to remember the details of the dream and to add to it, scrunching my eyes shut with the effort.

"The cell was in this huge old building, like a castle. There were no windows so it could have been in an underground room or something. Two sides were the walls of the room and the other two sides were metal bars. There was a bunk in there and a toilet and I was mortified because I needed to take a pee and you didn't. Why the fuck did I suddenly remember that part?"

Edward chuckled and I opened my eyes.

"Don't laugh at me," I said with a smile, amazed that we could be anything other than serious and scared at this moment. "Where was I?"

"You were taking a pee in front of me."

I drew my leg up and shoved him with my foot.

"They didn't feed us. I don't know who 'they' were, but I think they saw us as some kind of entertainment. It's sketchy, what I can remember. I was weak and you were sick somehow. Sick with not...um...feeding. And then later you were throwing up blood, like it was bad. You said it was poisoned. Something like that."

Edward shuddered and dragged a hand through his hair. "Damnit, I hate this. I hate what I was. _A killer."_

"We don't know that..." I said doubtfully.

"I drank blood!" he exclaimed. "Of course I was a killer! I don't suppose you could go to the supermarket and buy it in bottles!"

I sat up quickly and reached out to touch his arm.

"Hey...come on, stop it. We're talking about something that was a long time ago, that wasn't even us, not really. Even so, there might have been some other explanation, which is why I want to look into our actual histories more as well as reading general stuff."

"I can't imagine there's anything we could find out which would make this better," Edward said miserably. "I'm sorry. Please carry on."

"After you got sick, I think you were dying, either from starving or from being poisoned, I'm not sure. You lay on the bunk; I kept trying to make you talk to keep you with me and pass the time. You recited something, poetry maybe?"

"Romeo and Juliet," Edward put in suddenly. "It's my favourite play. I mean it _was _my favourite play. I could recite the whole thing from beginning to end, without the book."

As he said that, suddenly I remembered more, a jumble of images rushing into my head like movie clips and I closed my eyes again, trying to make sense of them.

"You started slipping away and I lay down with you. I was holding you, thinking we were both going to die. I wanted to die so I didn't have to go on without you. I guess I drifted off, but I can only have been sleeping and then suddenly two guys were there helping us. One of them was...the guy from the boat trip! My friend. The other was pale, like you; he must have been another...vampire. And then we were in a hotel and you were unconscious and we had a doctor with us. I asked them to get me a copy of 'Romeo and Juliet' so I could read it to you; I thought you might hear me and wake up."

I grabbed his hand, barely noticing as I continued to talk rapidly, excited suddenly to be remembering more and more.

"You did wake up. You were weak, but you were ok and then we all left; there were a whole bunch of people, some Quileute boys and some vampires. Most of them were pissed at us, especially the Natives. The others...most of them seemed to think I helped you, but they still wanted to keep us apart. We sat on the plane together and they all hated it."

"We were on a plane?" Edward frowned.

"Yes, the castle must have been in another country. God, none of this makes any sense. Well, some of it does..."

"It was in Italy." He pulled his hand free of mine suddenly and scooted off the bed, returning to his own to get his laptop. "Let's look some things up now."

I propped my pillows up against the bed head and leaned on them as Edward switched on the computer and came to join me again. After a brief hesitation he climbed back onto the bed and sat beside me, his legs stretched out in front of him.

"What shall I search for?" he wondered.

"Vampires in Italy. Maybe we can find out something about that place."

He typed slowly and clicked 'search'. Instantly several listings appeared, the first being a long ago news article about a body having been dug up which was believed to have been a vampire because of its fangs.

"They don't have fangs, just regular teeth," Edward muttered and closed the article.

"Try that one." I pointed at the third item which was simply entitled 'Volterra'.

As the page opened, a picture came into view at the top, showing a castle overlooking a courtyard with a fountain.

"That's it!" I exclaimed. "That's the place where the cell was! You were there before me and I came to find you with some girl. There were crowds of people, a festival of some sort going on, and I ran through them to get to you. You were going to do something and I had to stop you. Then they wouldn't let us leave."

"I wish I could remember more," Edward said. "I don't remember this place at all." He scrolled down a little and revealed another picture, showing the shell of the castle, the parts still standing blackened as if in a fire.

"That's how they got us out," I said. "They set fire to it. Our people, I mean."

I turned my attention to the screen again and we both began to read the text. It described the ancient castle which had always been rumoured to house a coven of vampires although no one could ever prove it. The building had burned down ninety years ago, a couple of days after the Solstice Festival and no trace of the former inhabitants had ever been found, leading investigators to believe that they had managed to escape from the burning building and flee. However, believers in the supernatural claimed that if a coven of vampires really had lived there, any who hadn't made it out would have been reduced to dust.

"Shit, this happened ninety years ago?" Edward gasped suddenly.

"It looks that way."

"So if we were actually there and then presumably we died some time after this, where have we been for ninety years?"

"I was looking for you," I said slowly. "That's what that searching dream was about. You died first...I don't know how, but I followed you. I died too and then I went looking for you, or I guess my soul did and I never found you."

Edward's face paled. "You wouldn't have been able to find me," he whispered. "When a vampire dies, it's gone. They don't have souls."

"So how are you here now? I thought reincarnation had to do with the soul of someone who died entering a new body."

"I don't know." Edward shook his head.

"However it happened, it did and I found you in the end," I murmured.

_'And I'm not letting you go again, for anything.'_


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks to everyone who is reading the story and I really appreciate your wonderful reviews.**

**Check out some of my favourite authors if you're looking for some great stories:- elfprincess8, ant1gon3, Lineia, TurnItUp03.**

CHAPTER TEN

Edward and I had little time to do any further investigating that week and I had no more dreams or visions. Edward had a history assignment to complete before the Christmas holidays and was also working on finishing the short story he was entering into a competition. I had to study for a test on treatment of injuries and the juvies had a hockey match on Sunday which we were training for, however, I did make the time to do some searching online for information about vampires. If only I could find one thing that didn't talk about them like fairytale monsters, which said something positive, but I was unsuccessful. Vampires were killers which fed on human blood - that's all there was to it - and I despaired of being able to find anything that would make Edward feel even a tiny bit better about his past.

During that week I was irritated by the lack of time I had free to spend with him. I had lunch with him most days and of course we had part of the evenings together in the room, but it didn't seem enough. There might not have been any progress in discovering any more about our other selves, but there did seem to be an increase in the way I was feeling. I hated being apart from him and as worrying as that ought to have been, it just wasn't. Being with him made me happy and for the moment I went with it and didn't question things too much, figuring it was the direction I was intended to take. The fact that I had begun to care more for him seemed normal. I would worry when and if I began to look upon him as more than a friend and thoughts of us lying on that rug on the beach no longer made me nervous.

Saturday we met up as soon as I finished hockey training and spent the rest of the day in the library. Edward needed to study and knowing he was worried about running into Baz aside from wanting to be in his company, I made the pretense of needing to do some research on various forms of therapy so that I could keep him company. I gathered a stack of books and sat at the table opposite him, flicking through the pages until I found things of interest to read. Edward was visibly tense and glancing around him every few seconds and I became annoyed that he couldn't relax and study because of that asshole who had hurt him. I had felt fiercely protective of him since that happened and now I got up and went to look for one of the library staff. I found a middle-aged librarian unpacking a new box of books at the main counter and went over to her.

"Excuse me, Ma'am?" I said as quietly as I could manage. She was one of those who frowned upon anyone making a noise in the library.

"Yes?"

"I was wondering if you could tell me if a guy named Baz is working here today? Big tall guy, black hair..."

The woman coughed slightly. "Why do you ask?"

"Just hoping to avoid him," I said honestly.

"Well. That _person _is no longer employed here," the lady said stiffly.

"Really? He got fired?"

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to," I grinned. "Thanks." I returned to Edward, who was chewing his nails nervously and looking around as if searching for me.

"Where've you been?"

"Just checking something out. You can relax, he doesn't work here any more. Sounds like he got fired," I said.

"You went to find out for me?"

"Yeah, you're sitting there all tense like you want to run for the exit. Must be worse if you have to come in here alone."

"Thank you," Edward whispered.

"It was nothing," I shrugged.

_'I'd do anything for you.'_

I grinned to myself and stared blankly at a page of the open book in front of me, my thoughts drifting as I tried to analyse properly how I felt about my room mate. I felt happy in his company, even if we were essentially ignoring each other and doing our own things. When we were at classes or working in our respective jobs, he was often in my mind and ridiculously I missed him after a few short hours. I wanted to do things that made him happy, however trivial they might be - watching movies that he liked when they bored me rigid, sitting here with him in the library rather than spending the afternoon with my friends who had invited me to go to the funfair which was in town for the week. I wanted to go, but I would rather have done something like that with Edward.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" I asked absently.

"Working in the museum for a few hours. Why?" Edward looked up over the top of his glasses at me.

"Do you want to go to the funfair when you finish?"

He grinned suddenly. "The funfair? Really?"

"What can I say? I'm still the same age as my sisters when it comes to things like that," I shrugged. "It's ok, it was just an idea."

"No, I'd like to go. Your kids have a game though, don't they?"

"Yeah, but we'll be done by three o'clock, we could go after." I felt a strange flutter of excitement at the thought of going to the funfair with him - maybe going on a couple of the rides, trying the shooting gallery, eating junk food until we felt sick.

"Would you believe me if I tell you I've never been to a fair?"

"You're kidding me."

Edward shook his head. "I've told you what my parents are like; they would never have taken me to anything like that."

"What about when you were older? Didn't you do stuff with friends?"

"I didn't have many friends; well, none really. Apart from the boy I was seeing, but he was too serious..."

"More serious than you?" I grinned.

"I can have fun, I just never had the right people to encourage me to be less...introverted."

"I'm gonna fix that tomorrow," I said firmly.

"Why didn't you go to the fair today with Mark and Blair?" Edward asked. "I know they wanted you to."

"Yeah, but you had to be in the library, worrying about that creep," I admitted. "Besides, I like those guys, but they drive me nuts after a while."

I didn't tell him that lately Mark and Blair had been making repeated attempts to hook me up with a number of girls, unable to understand why I wasn't using every opportunity to try and get laid the way they were. I had just about used up all my excuses to date and even those had been pretty lame. The claim that I preferred Native girls only worked until I was introduced to a stunning Cherokee girl and then I had claimed she looked too much like Suzannah. I knew the guys were sceptical and dying to give me the third degree about it, but so far I had managed to avoid the conversation. It would only be a matter of time before they accused me of being a virgin and I knew I wouldn't hear the end of it if I admitted that were true.

The following afternoon as soon as the hockey game was over, our team of juvies having beaten the opponents easily, I raced back to the room and showered quickly. Edward was already there playing his keyboard and I noticed he was wearing blue jeans and a grey shirt over a tee, his hair free of gel and sticking up untidily in all directions. The bruises were completely gone now and not only had he foregone the eyeliner, but he had also removed the eyebrow piercing and looked pretty much like a normal kid, apart from the jet black hair which made him seem so pale.

As soon as I was ready we set off on foot to the fair which was in an area that had once been a series of industrial units. The buildings had long since been pulled down, leaving a large vacant space now filled with a roller coaster, some other ride like a giant spider with a car on the end of each leg that flew up into the air, bumper cars, a ghost train and a hundred stalls bearing food, drinks, toys to win by shooting at targets and various others. My Dad had always said it surprised him that fairs had survived into the modern age, but it seemed that kids would never tire of them, however old fashioned they might be.

We started with the roller coaster and by the time the little wagons were halfway around the track, Edward was grinning from ear to ear and yelling in delight whenever the ride plummeted down a steep incline, or tipped into a sharp corner. Next was the ghost train which was filled with badly done horror characters, but mercifully no vampires. We emerged in fits of laughter and tried out the bumper cars next, taking every opportunity to ram each other on purpose until the attendant yelled at us for intentionally colliding.

"Isn't that the point?" I shouted back and received an angry look in return.

We left the ride and wandered around some of the stalls, trying burgers which tasted like no meat I recognised, followed by ice cream and then candyfloss.

"Better leave it for a while before we go back on the coaster, we'll get sick," I grinned. "Can you shoot?"

"I don't know," Edward shrugged as I headed towards the shooting gallery.

I always tried to win toys from these things for Claire and Chloe and now both of us paid and picked up rifles from the counter. After two shots I realised the guns were rigged to shoot a couple inches higher than the sight indicated and I finished my attempt and paid for another try, while Edward gave up and watched. This time I hit five out of five targets and was invited to pick one of the many toys hanging around the sides of the stall. I chose a duo - two small matching pandas wearing brightly coloured scarves which I knew my sisters would love - and handed them to Edward while I pulled out another five bucks. I had seen another animal almost hidden behind several others; a red dog-like face peeking out, which was probably intended to be a fox, but somehow looked like a cartoon version of my previous self. Again I hit the five targets and the frowning attendant told me it would be my last try and that I should choose my prize and make myself scarce.

"Not used to people winning anything?" I grinned. "I'll take that red dog in there," I said and pointed. He plucked the animal out and tossed it to me and I noticed that the rest of its body and tail did look more like a wolf than anything else. I took the pandas back from Edward and gave him the wolf and he smiled happily.

We took two more rides on the coaster and I bought some bags of fancy little sweets for my sisters and Mom before we headed back to college. Edward looked happier than I'd ever seen him and it seemed a shame to go back to our room and bring an end to it, whatever _it_ was. It seemed almost like a date, going to the fair, laughing like kids, winning him a toy on the shooting gallery, which later resided on his pillow most of the time. Seeing his bright smile and sparkling eyes delighted me - I made him enjoy himself and it seemed like that was what I was intended to do.

Another week passed with no further memories and a flurry of activity, finishing assignments and making plans to go home for the holidays. Even if we had wanted to we didn't really have time to worry about research and decided to set it aside until after Christmas. I loved Christmas just as much as my sisters and made no secret of the fact that I was excited about it, but my excitement was marred with sadness that I wouldn't see Edward for three weeks. The thought of not being able to see him and talk to him every day was like a hollow ache in my chest and I idly wondered how often I could call him without sounding desperate. Then again, maybe he would be just as keen to talk to me if the growing frequency of the looks he gave me was anything to go by. I would often look up and catch him staring at me and then he would look away quickly and blush. I tried not to think too hard about what it meant for the moment.

I looked at him now as I came out of the bathroom, sitting cross-legged on his bed with his back to me and his phone to his ear, the stuffed wolf watching him, and I realised that despite the fact that two weeks had passed without us making much more effort to look into our pasts and without any more dreams, I felt closer to him than anybody else, as if fate was working its magic on me and making him more important; making me care for him; making me start to fall..._no._ Not that; not yet.

He put the phone down and surreptitiously brushed a hand over his cheek, wiping away a tear. Fuck.

"Edward?"

"Yes..."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, why?" He sniffed quietly and turned around, eyes down.

"Don't give me 'nothing', you're upset." I resisted the urge to cross the room and put my arm around him.

"It really is nothing, don't worry about it."

"Who was on the phone?" I persisted.

"My mother. She just had some bad news, that's all, I don't want to talk about it," he said firmly and at that I was forced to give up. He could be stubborn when he wanted to be and I knew I wouldn't get anything further out of him unless he decided he wanted to tell me.

The last few days before the holidays flew by and Edward seemed to withdraw into himself again, becoming almost as quiet and uncommunicative as he had been when we first came to college. I did my best to get him to talk to me as something was obviously wrong, but he just brushed it off and told me there was nothing to worry about. It was Saturday when I found out, just hours before I was to leave him to go home.

I was disappointed to find he wasn't in the room when I woke. It was early, but his coat and boots were gone and he hadn't done any packing for the trip home. Shrugging, I showered, dressed and pulled out my case. For three weeks I was going to have to take most of my clothes, my laptop and some of my books; we were expected to at least study a few chapters during the holidays. I crammed everything somewhat untidily into the case, squeezed the toy pandas and sweets from the fair into a corner and forced it shut, then placed it on the floor beside my bed. It was only nine o'clock - Dad wouldn't be arriving to collect me until between twelve and one.

Edward returned at nine-thirty, a bag of stuffed bagels in his hand, and I heaved a sigh of relief. I would have hated to leave without having the opportunity to say goodbye to him.

"I wondered where you'd gone."

"I thought you might want some breakfast. There are some spares, you can have them for the journey."

"Thanks, Edward." I took one of the bagels in surprise. "Don't you want any?"

"I ate one already, you can have the rest." He took his coat off and sat on his bed.

"Don't you need to pack?" I asked.

"I've got plenty of time."

"When's your flight?"

"Later." He shrugged and avoided my eyes, picking at a thread on his black cargo pants.

I put the bagel down. Something wasn't right and I remembered the phone call he had from his mother a week ago; his quiet sadness since then. "You are going home, right, Edward?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?"

"Because you're being really weird. I know your parents are a bit different, but surely you're excited about going home. Unless you're not actually going and you don't want to tell me."

"Jacob, don't worry about me, I'm fine," he insisted.

"Tell me the truth."

He sighed heavily. "My parents are in Europe, so there's no point in me going home."

"What the fuck?" I gasped. "They're in Europe over Christmas? Why the hell would they do that?"

"I guess because they can do whatever they want now I'm not cramping their style." His shoulders slumped suddenly and he chewed his lip. "I'll be fine," he said again.

"This is bullshit!" I exclaimed, outraged on his behalf. His parents took off to Europe at Christmas and left him to stay in college alone? I snatched up my phone. "I'm calling my Mom; my parents will want you to stay with us."

"Don't, Jacob, please." Frowning, Edward got to his feet. "I can't just invade your house for three weeks; I'm a stranger to them and your sisters; Christmas is for families..."

"I am not leaving you here, you can argue all you like," I said firmly. "I _want _you to spend Christmas with us and so will my Mom and Dad; they'd be horrified if they thought you were staying in college." I punched the call button and my home number began to ring. Edward paced anxiously, chewing his thumb nail as I waited for someone to pick up.

"Hello! This is Chloe Lester!" my sister shouted a moment later.

"Hey, Chlo, it's Jake. Is Mom there?" I said.

"I'll get her. _Mom!"_

I flinched as she almost deafened me and then dropped the phone with a loud clunk. A moment later my mother was on the line.

"Hello, honey, what's up? Dad left about eight-thirty, if you're wondering."

"It's not that. I want to ask if Edward can come visit over the holidays. His parents are...they're away in Europe so he has to stay in college."

"Over _Christmas?"_ Mom's voice was astounded. "I'm not even going to ask what's wrong with his parents to treat him like that. Of course he must come. I'll make the other bunk up in your room and I'll call Dad on his cell in a minute and let him know."

"You're sure it's not too much trouble?" I said even though I knew what the answer would be.

"Don't be ridiculous, Jacob, that poor boy can't stay in school for Christmas! Besides, your sisters will love having another 'brother' to entertain them."

"Yeah, I'm sure. Thanks, Mom, I love you," I said. I hung up and turned towards Edward. "It's fine, get your stuff packed."

"Oh, God," he groaned. "I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything. Just pack your stuff. My Mom will love having someone else to spoil and my sisters will adore you, if you don't mind having them jump all over you and beg you to play in the snow with them."

"It hasn't snowed," Edward pointed out.

"There'll be a good covering in the mountains and you can guarantee we'll have to take the girls up there at least once to go sledging."

Edward smiled faintly. "They'll think I'm weird. I look weird. What if they don't like me? I'm hopeless with people I don't know." His eyes were wide and anxious and I went to him and gripped him by the upper arms.

"Stop worrying. They'll like you because you're my friend. They won't care about anything else and they'll make you feel right at home."

"I haven't got anything to give them. I can't encroach on your family without even a gift for your mother," he moaned.

"You don't have to, she won't expect it."

"But..."

"Look, you can buy them all a Christmas gift if you want, but there's plenty of time for that. I haven't bought anything yet, I go out shopping in Port Angeles, we can do that Monday. It'll be fine, I promise."

"How long do I have? I mean, before your Dad gets here?" Edward asked.

"Two or three hours, why?"

"I just need to do something. I won't be long." He pulled away from me, grabbed his coat and fled the room before I could respond.

The rest of the morning passed by and I stayed in the room, glancing repeatedly at the clock and worrying that Edward had done a disappearing act because he felt uncomfortable about visiting my family. Twelve o'clock arrived and he still hadn't returned and I was now standing at the window, looking left and right in the hopes that I might see him approaching the building before my Dad arrived. I didn't see him, but then suddenly the door opened and he came in slowly, looking more shy and anxious than I'd ever seen him and with a large bunch of yellow flowers in one hand and several plastic bags in the other.

"I...um...I bought these for your mother."

He laid the flowers carefully on his bed and put the bags down, then looked at me expectantly. I was aware that my mouth was gaping as I stared at his bronze hair, tousled and windswept, and I struggled to think of something to say that wouldn't sound..._wrong._ My heart had quickened its pace and I licked my dry lips.

"Wow," I managed and swallowed hard. "You look...um..."

_'Beautiful.'_ My cheeks warmed.

"Ridiculous?" Edward laughed awkwardly, his face also reddening.

"No...you look good. You look the way I remember you," I said.

"I thought...maybe I'd freak out your family less if I got rid of the black."

"You didn't have to do that," I said. "But I'm glad you did, I like it. What's in the bags."

"Oh...new clothes. I guess I better pack." He shrugged out of his coat and I watched as he pulled his case out from under the bed and began to pack various existing items of clothing and then the contents of the bags - sneakers, blue jeans, shirts in blue and green and white, a light grey hoodie and a dark green sweater. Finally a pair of hiking boots and a new coat came out of the bag - khaki in colour and the type that I had at home for trips to the mountains and playing in the snow with my sisters. He left that out and fastened the case, just as a knock came on the door.

"You ready, boys?"

I pulled the door open and a second later found myself crushed in my Dad's customary bear hug.

"Uh...Dad...you're gonna break my ribs," I gasped, struggling free. "Edward, come and meet my Dad, Tremaine Lester. Dad, this is Edward Cu - Masen." I stepped back, puzzled as they shook hands. Edward glanced at me with a raised eyebrow and I shrugged helplessly. I had almost called him something else; but what?

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Sir," Edward said politely and was treated to one of Dad's snorts.

"Tom will do," Dad grinned.

"He always says Tremaine is a mouthful he was given at birth, but he shouldn't have to inflict it upon everybody else," I explained. "Get your case, Edward, let's go."

Edward quickly shoved his feet into his new boots, pulled on his coat and grabbed his case and the flowers and headed out of the room. I picked up my own case and followed, grinning as I noticed the stuffed wolf perched on Edward's pillow as if intending to guard the room until we came back.


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN

The journey home seemed to pass quickly. Dad talked a lot, beginning by asking Edward questions about Chicago, what he was studying, what he liked doing and so on, which he answered as shortly as possible and stayed silent in between, his hands clasped together in his lap and his eyes down. It was obvious he was uncomfortable and shy and after a while I switched the radio on and leaned closer to Dad from my position in the middle of the wide truck seat.

"Dad, leave Edward alone for a while," I whispered.

He glanced at me briefly and nodded, then began telling me that Chloe and Claire had been up since five o'clock in their excitement over me coming home for the holidays. They had helped decorate the Christmas tree and were messing up the kitchen in their efforts to help Mom, who was baking enough to feed the whole of the Reservation.

We stopped once for fuel, restrooms and coffee and eventually reached Neah Bay around four-thirty. Dad grabbed both of our cases from the back of the truck and headed towards the house. My sisters flew out of the door seconds later, making a beeline for me, shrieking and shouting their delight and momentarily ignoring Edward. I hugged each, swinging them off their feet and eliciting more squeals before I introduced them to him. He barely had the chance to say 'hello' before they were babbling to him in unison, nothing they said coherent.

"Come on, girls, calm down and let's get in the house at least," I said. "I've got presents for you, but they're staying in the case until you stop shouting."

"Are they Christmas presents?" Chloe asked.

"No, extra ones. Edward and I went to a fair and got them."

The pair were instantly quiet and headed into the house, beaming back at us over their shoulders.

"Wow," Edward said.

"Overwhelming, huh?" I smiled.

"I still feel like I shouldn't be here; like I'm intruding," he sighed.

"You're not, I promise. My family will love having you here. You'll get used to their loudness and PDAs. Be warned, my Mom will hug you."

"I can't remember the last time my mother hugged me."

"Are you ok?" I asked.

"Yes, I will be." He plucked the yellow flowers from the dash and we headed into the house.

Mom came out of the kitchen wiping damp hands on her pants legs and flung her arms around me.

"Sweetheart, I'm so glad to have you home! Have you lost weight? Your face looks thin. What do you boys live on? Junk food, I bet. Good thing I've been baking, you could do with some feeding up by the look of you."

Planting a loud kiss on my cheek, she stepped back and I introduced her to Edward. As I told her his name was Edward Masen, I remembered introducing him to Dad back at college and how I had almost said a different name, something that began with 'C'. I had forgotten about it immediately after with Dad chatting so much, but now I wondered where that had come from. Had he had a different name when I knew him before?

"That's so sweet of you, Edward, to bring me flowers, thank you," Mom was saying, ignoring his outstretched hand and giving him a one-armed hug and a kiss instead.

"It's my pleasure, Mrs Lester," Edward said, flushing vividly.

"Now, none of that Missus nonsense, I'm Louise. Come with me..." She began to lead the way back to the kitchen. "I want you to treat the house as your home, Edward, you're very welcome here with all of us. Anything you want to eat or drink, just help yourself, we don't stand on ceremony. I'll just put these flowers in water and then get started on dinner. Would you like some coffee or chocolate to be going on with? And help yourself to any of these..." She indicated several trays of cookies, cakes and pies laid out to cool and I immediately grabbed a small pie and crammed it into my mouth whole.

"You greedy pig, Jacob, I hope it chokes you!" Mom exclaimed. "Where're your manners?"

"Left them at college," I mumbled, spluttering crumbs.

Edward chuckled and visibly began to relax, taking his coat off and sitting on one of the kitchen stools. He took a cookie and began nibbling around the edges while Mom dealt with the flowers and made hot chocolate for us and my sisters. Fifteen minutes later I announced the intention of showing Edward where he was sleeping and getting our things unpacked and Chloe and Claire reluctantly stayed in the kitchen and left us alone.

Dad had already put our cases in my room and I ushered Edward in and closed the door behind us. Mom had made up both beds with new dark green bedding and I kicked my boots off and sprang up onto the top bunk, sitting with my legs dangling over the edge.

"You're on the bottom," I said. Edward glanced up at me and then his face went scarlet once again. I bit my lip to suppress a laugh as he looked away and bent to unfasten his case.

"Your mother is amazing," he said quietly. "You're so lucky."

"I know. I'm sorry you don't have this." My amusement vanished and my chest ached for him. I couldn't imagine having parents that didn't care whether I was home or not; who took off to Europe and abandoned me for the Christmas holidays. I sat in silence and watched as Edward unpacked his things, pulling tags off the new items as he went and hanging them in the wardrobe or placing them in the two empty drawers I indicated.

"The bathroom's down the end of the hall," I told him. "There's only the one, I'm afraid, so it's a bit of a free for all. Mom and Dad shower at night. If you want hot water in the morning you have to get in there before my sisters at seven-thirty. And don't forget to shoot the bolt; they're not averse to wandering in, regardless of who's in there."

Edward smiled at last. "Don't you think you should unpack? You told your sisters you have presents for them."

"Oh, shit, the pandas!" I jumped down from the bunk and opened my case quickly, dragging clothes out and dumping them in an untidy heap on the floor until I uncovered the stuffed animals and the bags of sweets. "Ready for the onslaught?" I asked and he nodded.

We spent the rest of the evening in the lounge, eating dinner with the family and talking. Claire and Chloe predictably fought over the pandas because they both wanted the one with the blue scarf, until Claire realised it had one wonky eye and decided the red scarf was better. I talked about college and my juvies and going to the fair and Edward mostly stayed quiet, nursing another mug of chocolate and looking awkward and at a loss for words. I had remembered he had been like that with me in the beginning and I knew he was miserable about his parents. For once I couldn't wait for the evening to end so that we could retire to our room and be alone in the peace and quiet.

After Claire and Chloe went to bed, insisting that I go and read them a story, Dad switched on the television and we watched some news programme for an hour before I pleaded exhaustion from a poor night's sleep and long journey and Edward and I were able to escape. Without our own bathroom, I stripped down to my shorts and t-shirt rather than change clothes completely and then switched the light off after I got in my bunk, leaving Edward to change in the semi-darkness. He didn't say a word until he had got into the lower bunk.

"I never said thank you for this," he murmured.

"You don't have to. I'm glad you're here," I said.

"I hope your family don't think I'm weird. I just...I didn't know what to say. I'm not used to being made a fuss of."

"They won't think anything, apart from the fact that you're a bit shy. Stop worrying."

"I'll be ok tomorrow."

"I know. Good night."

"Night, Jacob."

I fell asleep almost instantly, realising that I hadn't been exaggerating when I told Mom and Dad I was exhausted. I slept dreamlessly until something disturbed me in the early hours of the morning. I was lying on my back and I stared up at the ceiling in the darkness, listening for the sound that had penetrated my sleep; a soft snuffle and a choking noise. I held my breath and it came again; a muffled sob. Fuck. Edward was crying and pain knifed through me, startling me by its intensity. It almost seemed as if he were part of me and when he was hurt, I felt it.

I sat up slowly and slid my legs off the side of the bunk. As I landed quietly on the floor I heard him suck his breath in and go completely silent. I sat on the edge of his bed and touched his shoulder, realising he was facing the wall.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Are you gonna tell me what's wrong?" I could hazard a guess, but I waited for him to tell me anyway.

"I'm just being stupid," he said shakily.

"No, you're not."

"I've only been here a few hours and already I can see how much you all love each other." He paused and sniffed. "I guess it just makes it more obvious how uncaring my parents are. Their idea of being affectionate is giving me money. I...um...I wish...I had this. I'm so fucking isolated from people...I hardly know...how to behave."

"God, Edward," I groaned.

"Sorry. I'm...pathetic."

He stopped talking and let out another louder sob before he smothered it with the pillow. My eyes prickled as I listened and felt his unhappiness; I had only had a vague idea of what his life had been like up to now and I hated seeing how sad he was, knowing how he hid it most of the time. I slid into the narrow bunk quickly and stretched out, urging him to turn over until suddenly he was in my arms, his wet face pressed into my neck. It occurred to me that not so long ago our positions had been reversed - him comforting me after my dream that he had died. I hugged him tighter, stroking my fingers through his wild hair and feeling his rapid heartbeat gradually begin to slow.

"I can't even imagine why your parents are the way they are," I murmured. "Why have a child if you're going to ignore him? I can't do anything to fix that, but I hope you'll eventually feel like you can share my family. You'll get used to them; just be like you are with me."

"Yeah. Thanks. I'll be ok tomorrow." He repeated his earlier words and sighed heavily. "Are you gonna stay here tonight?"

"Do you want me to?"

"Yes."

"Then I'm staying."

We stopped talking and just held onto each other, eventually slipping back into sleep. When I woke again and glanced at the illuminated clock across the room, I found it was six-thirty and I was lying on my back with Edward snuggled in close to my side. His hard-on was digging into my thigh and my own erection quivered against my stomach inside my shorts. I felt my face heat up and knew I couldn't pretend to be asleep this time, with Edward trapped between me and the wall; all I could do was slip away quickly and go to the bathroom. I tried to pull my arm out from under his neck without waking him, but immediately his eyes opened and it took him about another two seconds to realise his predicament.

"Oh, fuck...sorry...um..." He blushed furiously and backed away all of an inch before he was against the wall. He turned onto his front with a groan and buried his face in the pillow. I slid out of the bed and grabbed a pair of pants.

"Don't worry about it, nine times out of ten I wake up the same way; today's one of the nine," I said and laughed awkwardly as I jammed my still hard cock into my pants and forced the zipper up with a grimace. "I'm going to take a shower; you go in after me before the girls get up, ok?"

Edward grunted in answer and kept his face hidden. I found fresh underwear, socks and a shirt in the wrinkled pile I had dumped on the floor and left him to it. When I returned to the room fifteen minutes later he had changed his pyjama pants for jeans and was sitting on the edge of his bunk, chewing his lip. He grinned briefly before heading for the shower and I went to make coffee. Mom was already up preparing food for a large cooked breakfast. She passed me a cup of coffee.

"What does Edward like for breakfast?" she asked.

"Anything - we often just have bagels or something, but he likes all the usual stuff."

"Is he ok?" she asked then with a frown of concern.

"You heard?" I wondered and she nodded.

"He's not used to having a proper family. His people are pretty cold and uncaring..."

"They must be to take off and leave him alone for Christmas; I can't imagine how a mother could abandon her child like that."

"Edward will be ok, he's just sad that he's missed out so much; it's been like that for years apparently. I told him he can share you guys."

"Poor boy." Mom's frown deepened. "Of course he must treat this place like his own, as I said. I thought he was quiet yesterday."

"He's shy; he doesn't know what to say to people," I explained. "It took him a while to start talking to me."

"You're a good friend, Jacob. So what are you going to do today? Christmas shopping? Your sisters have been asking when you're going to take them to Port Angeles."

"We'll do that tomorrow," I said. "I'm just gonna show Edward around today; hopefully he'll loosen up a bit then."

Claire and Chloe came into the kitchen at that moment, wearing pyjamas with fairies on and each clutching a panda.

"Where's Edward?" Claire asked.

"Why's he sad?" added Chloe.

"He's in the bathroom. He's sad because his Mom and Dad had to go away over Christmas, that's why he's here. He misses them and his home," I explained.

"We'll cheer him up," Chloe said at once, climbing onto one of the stools. "Mom, can we have pancakes?"

"Of course, I'm making blueberry ones."

"I want chocolate chip," Claire pouted.

"You'll get what you're given." Mom poured out another coffee as Edward appeared in the doorway wearing his new green shirt which emphasised the colour of his eyes. His copper hair was still damp and beginning to stick up wildly. The girls went to him immediately, grabbing a hand each.

"Edward, don't be sad," Claire said. "Jake said you're sad 'cause your Mom and Dad went away..."

"You can share ours," Chloe went on. "And us too. Jake says we're too much for one brother to handle anyway."

Edward grinned suddenly and his eyes lit up. "Well, that's enough to cheer anybody up," he said. "I don't have sisters; you can make up for what I'm missing."

He seemed a little more comfortable that morning and after the huge breakfast Mom laid on, we went out for a walk so that I could show him the immediate area and the beach. The coastal wind was biting and Edward shoved his hands into the pockets of his new coat, not having brought gloves. I made a mental note to suggest that Mom buy him some, knowing she would be anxious to make sure there were gifts under the tree for him on Christmas morning.

"I'm mortified they all heard me last night," he said at one point.

"Our walls are thin," I grinned. "Don't worry about it; they had to put up with me bawling like a baby the day Suzannah broke up with me. I tried to make out I was just pissed, but gave the game away when I went to bed. Nobody really hides anything in our house; God knows how Mom and Dad manage to get any privacy, but I never hear them."

Edward laughed. "I guess that would take some explaining to a pair of eight-year-olds."

We spent perhaps an hour on the beach, despite the cold and again I was reminded of Ruby Beach. I felt that after the day Edward and I had swum there, it had become a favourite place of ours; a special place.

"...while we're here?" I caught the end of his question and pulled myself out of my thoughts quickly.

"Sorry, I was miles away - on another beach; the one I told you I went to with my sisters, that I remembered from us being there before."

"I asked if you were going to try and find out anything while we're here. You know about where you came from."

"I want to," I nodded. "Once Christmas is over. I really want to go to the La Push Reservation and see if I can find anything out about my birth mother. Now I have the chance though, it's kind of scary. If I find her, what's she going to tell me? I'm not sure if knowing is better than not knowing."

"I was going to ask my parents about our family history if I'd gotten to see them," Edward said. "Not if they know anything about vampires, obviously..." He snorted suddenly. "Can you imagine? They don't believe in anything if it can't be explained with a formula or something like that. But I wondered if there was another Edward ninety years ago..."

"Your name wasn't Masen," I interrupted. "You know when Dad picked us up yesterday and I introduced you and I almost said another name? Edward Cu...it was automatic, but I don't remember what the name was."

"Cullen," Edward said slowly. "My name was Edward Cullen."

_'I Imprinted on Edward Cullen.'_

I could hear my own voice in my head saying it, as if it was something I had thought a long time ago; something that had horrified me at the time; made me think that either I was crazy or that fate had really fucked me over. What the hell was Imprinting?

"Jacob?"

Edward's hands were on my shoulders, shaking me.

"Are you ok? Did you remember something?"

"Yes, something happened to me. I mean, back then. Do you know what Imprinting is?"

Edward let go of my shoulders and pushed his hands back into his pockets, frowning. "Isn't it something that happens with animals? Like when young are born they Imprint on their mother; she's the first thing they see so they're fixated on that one creature, following it around and copying its actions until they mature; something like that. Why do you ask?"

"Um...I Imprinted," I said. "Back then, when I was a...a shape-shifter." I screwed my face up, trying to remember, but anything further evaded me.

"Maybe that had to do with the wolf thing," Edward said.

"Yeah."

"Do you remember your Imprint?"

I looked back at him and recognition came into his eyes just as I opened my mouth.

"It was you," I said. "I think that's why we were together. When I just remembered that, it was like I was thinking what I thought then. I realised I Imprinted and I was horrified for some reason. I get the feeling we didn't like each other."

"If you were a wolf and I was a vampire, we probably didn't, we should have been enemies. So if you Imprinted on me, obviously it wasn't a choice. Maybe fate picked me for you. Maybe that's why this is happening now - fate meant us to be together then and our lives were cut short."

"Imprinting must be pretty powerful stuff if we went from being enemies to...um...lovers."

My face burned and I dropped my eyes as again I pictured us naked on a rug on the beach. When I forced myself to look up and meet Edward's gaze, there was a look in his eyes which I'd seen a few times recently and tried to ignore; the kind of look you get from someone who loves you.


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER TWELVE

We returned to the house around the middle of the afternoon and when Claire and Chloe descended on us, begging us to indulge them and play games, Edward joined in much less uneasily than I expected. The girls had always been loud and outgoing and didn't know what the word 'shy' meant and this quickly seemed to rub off on Edward. He had no experience of sisters, or younger kids of any kind, but to look at him running around the yard carrying Chloe piggyback, his legs moving in a long lope like a horse, you would never know that. I left them to it, announcing the intention to get snacks from the kitchen and made the suggestion to Mom that Edward needed some gloves. She asked a few other questions, such as what his favourite colours were, what interested him, what brand of toiletries he used and made mental notes. I realised I had no clue what to buy for him myself. I would have been willing to bet there were a hundred books on Natives in the local area that he'd never seen and something like that would make a good present for him, but I wanted to get something else too - a gift that meant something, but I had no idea what. Perhaps I would just see an item in PA that called to me.

I went to rejoin the game in the yard which had now become some kind of race, with Claire running up and down as fast as she could, Edward trotting along slightly behind her to let her win, pretending to stumble and gasp for breath while Chloe acted as referee. I grinned as I watched - they loved him and that was incredibly important to me.

Mom called us in an hour later for dinner and for the rest of the evening, Edward was a little more talkative than he had been the first night and he looked much happier. He talked to Dad at length about the tribe's history while I played a handheld computer game with the girls until they went to bed. It seemed as if Edward was becoming part of the family and today he was the one my sisters begged to read their bedtime story.

"Is that ok?" he shyly asked Mom and she agreed at once.

"He's a lovely young man," she said a few minutes later when he had left the room. "Such a shame about his parents. He seems better today."

"Yeah, he's actually come out of his shell much faster than I expected."

That night I wasn't disturbed by anything until Edward got up at six-thirty and went to take a shower. He didn't come back to the room and after I had showered and dressed I found him in the kitchen talking to Mom about his parents, sitting on one of the stools sipping a mug of coffee as if he belonged there. An image of myself walking over to him and giving him a good morning kiss came into my mind and I felt myself redden. Where the hell had that come from?

Edward twisted around in his seat and met my eyes, his lips twitching up at the corner into a crooked smile. "Morning."

"Hey. 'Morning, Mom."

I took a seat and a coffee and Mom began to make breakfast. We planned to set off for PA immediately afterwards and return only when we had found gifts for everyone. An hour later we were in Mom's car, my sisters bouncing excitedly in the back seat as I drove to the town, fighting long lines of traffic on the way in. Shopping was going to be a nightmare and certainly wasn't one of my favourite ways to spend a day, but somehow having Edward there made it more like fun than a chore.

We all shopped together to begin with, choosing gifts for my parents, Grandpa and Uncle Dale. Then Edward took Claire and I took Chloe and we separated for an hour. Chloe and I found some gifts for Claire first and then tried to find something for Edward. I still had no clue, but we headed for a book store which sold everything from the latest best sellers to antiques that had been read a thousand times and were falling to pieces. Edward had apparently told the girls about a series of movies he liked based on the colonisation of another planet and Chloe delightedly pounced on a book about the series.

"Can I get this? Do you think he'll like it?"

"Sure he'll like it. Hold onto that while I find something." I headed towards the antique section and picked out a book about the north-west tribes which I hadn't seen in Edward's collection and then, buried beneath a few other titles, I found a battered book about Quileute legends. I took this too and headed for the checkout.

"Jacob, what are those?" Chloe tugged at my arm and pointed to a stall set up at one side of the store, boxes of antiques on it and underneath.

"Just old stuff. Want to have a look? We still have fifteen minutes before we have to meet Claire and Edward."

The stall was filled with things that you would never want and certainly couldn't find a use for; collectors' items such as figurines, cameras that looked like they came from the Twentieth Century, funny little cassette tapes with music on and even stranger large flat vinyl records. I'd seen them in history books, but not in reality.

"It's all a load of junk," I said to Chloe, who was already looking bored.

I idly flipped through a box of vinyl, wondering if a music system even existed that could play them and suddenly one of my visions hit me. I was looking at the cover of one of the old vinyl discs and I knew the female singer pictured was familiar. Edward and I were in this very town, looking at items on a stall in the market - items exactly the same as what I was looking at now.

_"I looked everywhere for this about sixty years ago," he whispered as he examined the disc. "It's a special edition."_

_"Fifty dollars for an album? Really?" I said, noticing the price sticker on the corner._

_"I'm surprised it's not more. They only made a thousand copies; these are highly collectible." He put the album back in its box and sighed._

_"Not going to buy it?"_

_"I buy too much clutter; the others are always complaining that I fill the house with junk."_

_"It's not junk if it's something you want." I pulled the album out again and handed it to the stall-holder to bag up while I got my wallet out._

_"Jacob, you can't," Edward protested._

_"I can buy you a gift if I want." Fifty bucks was a bit much for an ancient old record, but it didn't matter if it was something special to him. I took the bag and handed it to him. He beamed at me, his eyes shining._

_"Thank you; I didn't expect this."_

_"I love you, I want to give you things that you want," I said in a low voice._

"Jacob!" Chloe pulled at my arm. "What's the matter?"

I shook myself, realising that my heart was pounding and I was breathless. My face felt hot and red as I remembered what I had said to Edward; _'I love you, I want to give you things that you want.'_

"I'm fine, just daydreaming," I said.

"I thought you said it was a load of junk," she added loudly, eyeing the record in my hands with a frown. The stall-holder immediately shot me a glare and reached out to take it from me.

"Some people pay good money for this_ junk,"_ he growled.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it. I'm going to buy this." I quickly pushed the record into the plastic bag that held the books. "It's fifty, right?"

"No, it's fif_teen, _but I'll take fifty if you're offering."

"Oh...um...my mistake." I pulled out my wallet and gave him a twenty. "Keep the change. I'm sorry," I repeated.

"Jacob, why did you buy that?" Chloe demanded as we left the store. "I don't even know what it is."

"It has music on it," I said. "It's just something I remembered seeing a while ago."

"Oh, ok." She shrugged and headed towards the fountain in the centre of the mall where we had arranged to meet Edward and Claire. They were already there, Edward holding several gift bags, and the two girls ran to meet each other and whispered together until I reached them.

"Claire, you're coming with me now," I said. "Then we'll all meet back here again for lunch."

"We need to go to the restrooms first," Chloe announced.

"Sure, ok, me and Edward will wait here," I nodded. The sign for the restrooms was just feet away and the pair scampered away quickly. "Having fun?" I asked Edward with a grin.

"Yes, actually. How are you doing?"

"Getting there. I just need to get something for Chloe."

Five minutes later the girls returned, Chloe heading straight to Edward and tucking her gloved hand into his free one. Claire came to me and I eyed her tightly wound orange scarf, which had been hanging loose minutes before, with suspicion. I wouldn't put it past them to swap scarves and gloves to try to fool us.

"Claire, what have you done with your scarf?" I asked.

"I'm cold."

"In here? Come on. Wait, Edward!" I stopped him as he began to head off with Chloe and I pulled Claire's scarf down below her left ear, revealing the small dark mole that Chloe had. She giggled loudly.

"Sprung! You little cheats!"

"What happened?" Edward frowned in puzzlement.

"You've got Claire - again. They switched in the restrooms, no doubt to try to find out what each of them are getting for Christmas!"

"How do you know?"

"They each have a mole under their ear - Chloe's is on the left side and Claire's on the right."

Claire pulled her purple scarf down to show Edward and laughed hysterically. "It would have fooled Mom," she said.

"I doubt that. You're waiting until Christmas Day to find out what's in these bags. Let's go."

We set off again and quickly finished the shopping without too much difficulty. When we met up again for lunch we let the girls choose which establishment in the food court they wanted to eat at. Mom didn't often let them have burgers and fries, so needless to say that was what we ate accompanied by large cokes and followed by donuts. After the food, the girls set off to the restrooms again and I remained at the table with Edward.

"Did you get everything you wanted?" I asked and he nodded. His green eyes were sparkling and he seemed to be constantly smiling. His copper hair looked as if he'd been in a force ten gale and I realised I'd gotten used to seeing him like that more or less immediately. He dropped his eyes now and blushed under my scrutiny and suddenly I couldn't think of anything to say to him. I looked down at the table where one of his hands rested a couple inches away from mine and again I was hit by a memory.

_We were in a motel room, me lying on the bed on my side, Edward sitting propped up against the wall, his slim white fingers resting perhaps a foot away from me on the quilt. I had an almost irresistible urge to touch him and I moved slightly, bringing my own hand within a couple inches of his. I slowly stretched out my pinky finger until it just touched his, my pulse speeding up nervously. I couldn't help it; I needed to touch him. He didn't snatch his hand away or say anything, but I knew he was looking down at my hand and wondering what I would do next. A minute passed and eventually I slid my hand over his. Surely he would pull away now. His cold hand moved beneath mine, but rather than withdraw, it turned over until we were palm to palm. I curled my fingers around his slowly and he returned the pressure of my hand._

His hand was warm. I heard myself gasp and I looked up at his face, startled. We were sitting at the cafeteria table, surrounded by hordes of shoppers, holding hands and Edward was staring back at me with wide eyes. I pulled my hand back quickly and rested it on my lap under the table, glancing anxiously around me to see if anyone had noticed. There was still no sign of the girls and everyone else was going about their business.

"We were in Houston," Edward said softly and my eyes flew back to his face, my discomfort quickly forgotten.

"You had the same memory?"

"Yes. Your eyes went out of focus as if you were seeing something else, then your finger touched mine and suddenly we were in a motel in Houston."

"Why would we be in Houston?" I asked, clasping my hands together under the table to resist the sudden desire I had to grab his hand again and hold on tight to it.

"Something to do with my family." His brows drew together in a frown of concentration and his eyes darkened. "I can't remember. I think one of them was in trouble there and the rest of us went to help him."

"I wish I could remember more," I sighed. "It's all just odd little bits of things. I had another memory when I was shopping this morning with Chloe. I was buying a gift for you and I remembered buying you something...before."

Edward nodded as if he knew exactly what I was talking about and then the girls arrived at a run, shouting loudly that the line for Santa's Grotto was getting longer and longer and if we didn't hurry up they would never get in there to see him.

"I thought you didn't believe in Santa any more," I grinned.

"We don't, but you get a gift and a photo and _everything!"_ Claire exclaimed.

The next hour was therefore spent in line waiting to see Santa. I paid the exorbitant entry fee for the pair of them, knowing Mom would have done exactly the same and complained later that it was the worst form of commercialisation and she had far better things to spend her money on. The girls emerged delighted though, each with an instant photo of them sitting on Santa's lap and with small brightly wrapped gifts.

We returned to the car then and drove back to the Reservation. For once the girls were exhausted and Edward and I escaped to our room with armfuls of gift wrap, tape and tags and wrapped all of the gifts except for the ones we had bought each other. When Edward left the room briefly, I quickly wrapped the book I had bought him and hid the record under my pillow. I would give him that on Christmas Eve when we were alone, I thought.

My sisters went to bed early that evening after Edward and I had individually helped them wrap their gifts. We then spent a little while with my parents before retiring to our room. I brought out the book on Quileute legends and we sat side by side on Edward's bunk, reading through several chapters which talked about shape-shifters in a factual way, rather than making them out to be fairy tales. There was even a sketch of a wolf standing beside a man, showing it to be much bigger than the animals which inhabited the Rockies. This creature stood with its shoulders level with the man's head and the description underneath stated that they were virtually bulletproof, healing rapidly if injured, their only true enemy being the vampire.

I flicked to the next page and discovered a section about Imprinting and my pulse quickened. As we read that Imprinting was the way in which a shifter found its mate - that fate chose an Imprint which would give it the strongest support and possibly the best chance of reproduction - I wondered again why Edward would have been picked for me. It certainly wasn't anything to do with the reproduction part, but perhaps the support - perhaps a wolf and a vampire united made the strongest combination against a common enemy.

"Do you remember when it happened?" Edward asked.

"Not really." I closed my eyes and tried to remember. Little bits of memory came to me slowly like snatches of movie clips, the way this often happened. "I remember little things. There was a girl. You had her and I wanted her. For some reason I was supposed to guard her and I made a big show of hugging her and so on; I wanted to make you jealous. Then I looked up at you and...I don't know, I guess that's when it happened. Somehow you sucked me in and I cursed fate for doing that to me. I hid it from you - from everybody - and tried to pretend to myself that it wasn't true. For some reason I couldn't do that for very long. It hurt..." I opened my eyes again and looked at him. "It's kind of like that now; I mean, if you're hurting, I feel it. Is that weird?"

"Given everything else that's happening to us, I don't think it's weird."

"You know the other night when you were upset...I _felt _it," I said. "Like I'd been kicked in the guts and all my breath was sucked out. And look at this..." I indicated the page of the book and read aloud.

_"The effects cause the shifter to feel physical pain when separated from his Imprint and in turn, if the Imprint is in physical or emotional pain, the shifter too is caused to suffer."_

"Are you saying you Imprinted on me again?"

"No. I think that because somehow we're...I don't know...reincarnated...I feel a similar way to what I did then." I remembered how much I had missed him at Thanksgiving, although I didn't voice that.

"But you're never going to want to be with me," Edward blurted suddenly. "How can you? You're straight."

I glanced at him in surprise and he reddened. "I don't know how it's supposed to work," I said slowly. "Before...both of us were straight. We must have been. You were with that girl and I wanted her. I was horrified when I realised you were meant for me instead, but somehow we ended up together."

Shit, what was I saying? That I imagined we would be together again? I had after all felt guilty kissing Suzannah and I made every excuse for Blair and Mark not to fix me up with some other girl. I'd pictured myself giving Edward a kiss; I held his hand, I wanted to comfort him, make him happy, I ached when I was away from him for too long.

"Do you...um...do you have feelings for me, Edward?" I whispered. The way he had looked at me on the beach and on several other occasions told me that he did.

"Don't ask me that."

"Why?"

"Because you won't want to hear the answer. I don't want things to be awkward."

"They won't be. But I guess you just told me the answer, by not answering."

"Fuck." Edward dragged a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry."

"It's ok."

My heart pounded and my mouth went dry. I had known how he felt, but having him confirm it scared me and excited me at the same time. The strange thing was that I was pretty certain in our previous lives I had been the one to have feelings for him first. Perhaps it had been the effects of the Imprint, or started by that, but I knew I had fallen for him and he had resisted, at least temporarily.

"I don't think we should talk about this any more right now," Edward said uncomfortably, edging away from me and tugging a hand through his wild hair again. "I...um...I'm pretty tired."

"Sure, ok." Reluctantly I put the book away. I was longing to read the rest of it and see what else I could find out, but there was plenty of time for that. Maybe if we left it a few days until Christmas was over, we could tackle it again and look into trying to find my mother.

The rest of the week flew by and thankfully without any more dreams or memories surfacing. Edward seemed to have forgotten his embarrassment over his confession, or at least if he hadn't he was hiding it well. We spent a lot of our time entertaining my sisters and on one day, two of their school friends who came over. Suddenly Christmas Eve had arrived and Claire and Chloe were impatiently eyeing the stack of gifts under the tree, begging to be allowed to open just one before the big day. They were happy to go to bed early that night, reasoning that the sooner they went to sleep, the earlier they could get up on Christmas morning. Edward and I went to our room early too and I decided now I would give him the record I had bought. It seemed like a silly thing to have bought for him, but it was the memory that had been more important.

I slid my hand under my pillow and pulled out the item which I had since wrapped in shiny red paper and passed it to Edward where he sat on his bunk.

"What's this?" he asked in surprise as I sat down beside him.

"It's something really silly and useless, but I saw it and I remembered I bought it for you before," I said. "I don't think I could have stopped myself buying it."

Edward began tearing the paper off and when he held the record in his hands, I could see he instantly remembered.

"We were in the market in Port Angeles," he said. "I told you I'd been looking for this for sixty years."

"You wouldn't buy it for yourself," I added. "You said your family complained that you filled the house with clutter."

"It was the first gift you gave me. I played it over and over." He glanced at me and put the record down on the bed table, then pulled out a small wrapped gift from beneath his own pillow. "I did the same thing that day we were shopping. Something made me buy this and I knew I must have done it before." His cheeks began to turn pink. "You're going to think it's too much, especially after...what we talked about when we were reading that book. I kept the receipt, if you don't want it I can return it."

"Edward...if it's something you bought for me before, I'll love it," I said.

"But it's the sort of thing you give to a...um...somebody you're with..."

"It doesn't matter." I took the long flat parcel from his hand and began to remove the paper. Edward chewed his thumb nail and watched anxiously as I opened the box with the jewellery store logo on the corner and revealed a silver necklace. I immediately remembered him giving me this exact same gift before. I took it out of the box and grinned.

"This is exactly the same design as before, only the other one was longer. You got one that would be long enough to fit me when I was in wolf form so that if I changed suddenly, it wouldn't break."

"Are you sure it's not too much?" Edward asked worriedly.

"I'm sure. Thank you." This time I did reach out to grasp his hand and give it a squeeze. "Merry Christmas, Edward."

The anxiety left his face and he smiled, his eyes warm. "Merry Christmas."


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Christmas Day was mostly about entertaining Claire and Chloe. They burst into our room at six o'clock, yelling that it was Christmas and we had to get up _right now!_ I sent them packing quickly, advising that Edward and I weren't going to do anything until we'd had showers and coffee. I wasn't sure about him, but I had woken with my customary hard-on and had no intention of emerging from my bed in front of my sisters or Edward. The pair withdrew reluctantly and moments later I heard Mom scolding them loudly in the hallway and telling them not to charge into my room without knocking first and asking whether I minded.

"Sorry, Edward," I smirked, hanging off the edge of my bunk to look down at him.

"It's ok. Merry Christmas - again." He grinned and stretched, then glanced at the clock. "I'm surprised they lasted this long."

"Me too. Do you want to shower first?" I offered.

"Sure."

He left the room moments later and I flopped back against the pillows, willing my cock to subside. If I'd been here alone I could have taken care of it; living in the madhouse I had gotten used to biting the pillow and staying silent or going at it as quick as I could in the bathroom, and at college it was easy enough to find alone time when Edward wasn't in the room, but I hadn't managed to find even five minutes to spare since I arrived home and now my erection showed no signs of abating. I got up and put on cargo pants and a long loose t-shirt while I waited for Edward to come back, wondering if I dared make use of the shower and risk my sisters hammering on the door in the middle of it.

Edward was out of the bathroom in ten minutes and he went to join the rest of the family in the kitchen. Even Dad was up and I hurried into the shower, dealt with my persistent erection as fast as possible, scrubbed myself and went to get some breakfast before the chaos of opening gifts ensued. Claire and Chloe were in charge of the operation, ripping excitedly into their own gifts first before handing out various parcels to the rest of us. Edward seemed just as delighted by everything as my sisters as he and I sat on the floor amidst a mountain of parcels and discarded wrapping paper and I would have been willing to bet he'd never seen a Christmas anything like this.

Edward's gifts for me, aside from the necklace of course, which I was wearing discreetly underneath my sweater, consisted of a memory device onto which he had downloaded a programme of the history and all of the most memorable games of my favourite hockey team, plus a boxset collection of one of the rock bands I had been listening to lately. I only vaguely registered the fact that there was a surprising lack of gifts for me from my parents, although Claire and Chloe made up for it with the quantity of small amusing things they had collected for me. I assumed that Mom and Dad had merely reduced the amount they spent on me in order to spoil Edward a bit more, but part way through the morning I discovered that this wasn't the case at all.

Mom had been ensconced in the kitchen for the past two hours, cooking a huge Christmas feast while Edward and I played games with the girls and Dad watched from the sofa, flicking through the TV channels while he waited for Grandpa and Uncle Dale to arrive. They announced their appearance with loud honking in front of the house, which certainly wasn't the horn of Grandpa's car.

"Jacob, go let them in," Dad said, smirking, then looking past me at Edward and grinning broadly. Shrugging, I got to my feet and went to the door, noticing that Dad and Edward followed me and Mom appeared a moment later.

"What's going on?" I pulled the door open and discovered a red truck I'd never seen before parked in the middle of Mom's lawn, Grandpa and Uncle Dale leaning against it and beaming from ear to ear.

"Merry Christmas, son," Dad said from behind me. "We all clubbed together to get it for you."

"The truck's for me?"

"Sure is. Gonna come try her out?" Grandpa said.

I hurried out to examine the vehicle in delight; it was a used truck, but only five years old. I had always thought I would be without wheels until I started working and could buy my own vehicle, so the truck was a huge and welcome surprise.

"Did you know about this?" I asked Edward as he wandered around it with me.

"Yes, your Dad told me a few days ago."

"Don't be expecting much for your birthday, Jacob, your Mom'll send you a care package or something," Dad grinned.

"I won't. This is perfect," I said. "Thanks so much, I never expected this." I went from Grandpa to Uncle Dale and then my parents, hugging each of them before they went back into the house and Edward and I climbed into the truck, intending to take a quick tour around the Reservation before lunch was ready. For once Claire and Chloe weren't interested in going with us and preferred to play with some of their gifts while we took off.

We drove around for fifteen minutes, going slow to avoid the abundance of children trying out new bikes, skates and so on and then returned to the house. Having the truck would mean I wouldn't need to rely on Dad taking me to and from college and could probably manage a couple extra visits at weekends. Perhaps Edward and I could take off sometimes too and explore the area surrounding Seattle.

As we parked up alongside the house behind the car, the first few flakes of snow had begun to fall and it became clear it was going to be a white Christmas by the time we finished lunch and a thick covering had already settled on everything. Mom and Dad had given the girls a new sledge each for their main gifts and I imagined Edward and I would be heading for the hills the next day if the snow continued. I drove Grandpa and Uncle Dale home in the afternoon in the truck, eager to use it at every opportunity.

The next morning, with almost a foot of snow covering everything, our day was already planned out. Edward and I helped my sisters build an enormous snowman in the front yard before we loaded the sledges, some rugs, snacks and flasks of hot chocolate into the truck and headed west towards the nearest gentle slopes. The sledges were big enough for two and Claire and Chloe took turns riding with me and Edward until they were too tired to climb back up the hill any more and sat in the truck drinking chocolate to warm up. Edward and I continued to entertain them by having a snowball fight and I quickly discovered that he was a hell of a pitcher, repeatedly smashing me in the face or the side of the head no matter how much effort I made to evade him. By the time we broke it up our jeans were soaked and our legs and hands frozen. I turned up the truck heater full blast and we warmed up with chocolate before heading home.

The next couple of days followed in similar fashion as Claire and Chloe wanted to make the most of the sledging opportunity since they had Edward as well as me and also my truck rather than having to rely on borrowing Dad's which was usually the case. On the third day I had asked Edward whether he minded the constant snowy adventures, but he had no complaints, saying merely that he was loving every second of doing things he had never done, in particular feeling like he was part of a proper family. The fun was also taking our minds away from dwelling on our pasts too much and I was relieved to escape it temporarily, although I had made up my mind that as soon as the New Year celebrations were over, I would look for my mother. If I didn't at least try while I was here, I knew I would be kicking myself as soon as I got back to Seattle and the next opportunity to search would be Spring Break.

On New Year's Eve my sisters spent part of the day at a friend's house and later, half a dozen girls planned to descend on us for a party Mom had agreed to lay on. The children of course, wouldn't be partying until midnight, but were excited about the party food and fireworks. Edward and I were in my room reading some more of the book on Quileute legends and discovering that Imprinting went through four stages, moving through friendship towards romance and more sexual feelings. I felt my face turning red as a brief memory came to me of my explanation of Imprinting to Edward a long time ago, just as embarrassed then as I was now. I hadn't wanted him to think my feelings would change into those of a lover because back then he initially hadn't wanted it. Now he did want it and I didn't. I closed the book and changed the subject, noticing his cheeks looked as warm as mine felt.

"Do you want to go out tonight?"

His eyes widened and I realised it had sounded like I was asking him on a date.

"Um...I mean to the New Year celebrations in Port Angeles. I went last year with my friends for the first time. They have a huge firework display over the water and music and food and things."

"Yes, I'd love to," Edward said at once.

"Not done the New Year 'thing' before?" I asked and he shook his head.

"Don't you want to go with your friends this year?"

"I haven't heard from them," I said, feeling a touch guilty that I hadn't made an effort to get in touch with Steve and Johnny since we got back to the Reservation. We had been as thick as thieves before I left for college, but our emailed communications had dwindled over the few months I had been away and it had seemed that the things we had in common had lessened. They both had jobs and girlfriends and I had plans for a future career away from the Reservation, and...Edward.

We set off in the truck around eight o'clock. Claire and Chloe's party was in full swing by then and the crowd of girls barely noticed us leave, well wrapped up in scarves and gloves and thick socks inside our boots. Snow still lay on the ground although the roads were clear and it was going to be a cold evening standing around for three hours. I parked some distance from the waterfront, knowing it would be impossible to find a space for the truck if we got too close. It was a fifteen minute walk down to where the crowds were gathering and a live band was already performing on the small temporary stage that had been erected.

Edward and I edged our way through the people towards the seawall which would be the best vantage point for the fireworks, then leaned on it as we watched the performers. Several artists entertained and we rubbed gloves hands together and stamped feet in an attempt to keep warm as ten o'clock approached and then eleven. By then the stage was empty and instead a boat was drifting in the water twenty yards from the wall, another entertainer talking through a microphone about various events of the past year.

"Do you want a hot drink?" I asked Edward. "I'm frozen."

"Yes, please, if you're getting one."

"Chocolate or coffee?"

He chose the former and I left him keeping our place by the wall and squeezed out of the now tightly packed crowd to one of the food stands a few yards away. I purchased two paper cups of chocolate with lids and began to make my way slowly back to the wall, excusing myself and apologising as people were forced to part to let me through. By the time I reached Edward the gap where I had stood was gone and I halted behind him instead, stretching my arm around him to pass him one of the cups and then resting my hand on the wall so that the people behind me didn't shove me against him.

The last hour crawled by, the icy breeze from the sea making our faces stiff and chilling us to the bone. Gradually the crowd edged further forwards and I braced both hands on the wall either side of Edward to prevent myself crushing him. Several other boats began to float towards the one in front of us, positioning themselves in a line behind it, one bearing a large digital display showing the time and the others I knew to be loaded with fireworks. It was almost time, the clock showing thirty seconds to go and people began to fidget excitedly behind me.

My heart began to race, hammering so hard in my chest I could barely distinguish one beat from the next and I didn't know why. I tried to remember if Edward and I had seen the New Year in together before, but it didn't seem at all familiar. What would I have done if we had? Kissed him? I bit my lip and held my breath as the crowd began to count down the last ten seconds along with the commentator and his microphone.

"Edward..." I didn't know what I was going to say to him as he turned slowly to face me, his eyebrows raised slightly. His skin looked paler than ever in the cold darkness, eyes wide and sparkling, lips red and slightly parted.

"...six...five...four..." the crowd chanted.

_'Holy shit. I'm going to kiss him.'_

I was suddenly terrified and in the last couple of seconds several thoughts filled my head; panic that I was making a huge mistake, excitement that I was going to kiss him; a bunch of emotions and a rapid flash of a memory.

_I went to sit down beside Edward on the edge of the bed in his room, raised my hand to his face and turned him more towards me before I touched my lips to his. Goosebumps sprang up on the back of my neck and I shivered and slid my free arm around him, my hand slipping from his cheek to his neck, fingers touching his silky hair. He placed his hand on my chest and I let my tongue slide out just enough to tease the underside of his upper lip, drawing a soft moan from him. I noticed everything, all of my senses heightened to the awareness I usually only felt in wolf form. I could hear my own heart beating as if it were running a race, my breathing heavier and louder than usual and another barely audible whimper from Edward. I felt every point where we touched - his hand on my chest, other arm around my back, my hand in his hair, the cold, moist softness of his mouth, shivers running down my back and making my hair stand on end. I could taste and smell him, sweet and fresh and tantalising. I had to stop; it was more than I could handle._

"...one...Happy New Year!"

I took my hands off of the wall and lifted them to his face, watching his eyes slide shut as my lips moved towards his. My blood was rushing in my ears and I breathed in sharply as our lips touched, his parting to caress mine, encouraging me to keep going. It didn't deepen; there were no tongues, no grasping at each other, just a long and gentle kiss which scared and excited me at the same time. My eyelids fluttered as the bright flashes of the fireworks went off yards away and I drew back breathlessly, feeling Edward trembling as he raised his eyes to mine. The sky was lit up above us with showers of gold and red and green and it seemed almost as if we were the only ones standing there. Eventually I found my voice.

"Happy New Year, Edward."

"Happy New Year."

"What just happened?" I leaned closer again and nuzzled his neck. I found I didn't want to lose contact with him just yet.

"Did you remember how it was the first time?" His lips touched my ear as he spoke and I shivered.

"Yes...we were in your room...I saw it happen just now..."

I slid my arms around him tentatively and we just stood holding each other, oblivious to the people around us jumping and jostling, shouting and laughing and singing. The throng was beginning to break up a little as some moved further away from the seawall and I took a step back, releasing Edward reluctantly. I didn't know what to say to him and I realised that one little kiss, regardless of the fact that it was New Year and everyone was doing the same thing, had changed everything. My heart was still racing and I was breathing through my mouth, scared to meet his eyes again.

"Jake?" A loud voice broke into my thoughts. "Shit, man, college sure changed you a lot!"

I stopped breathing in shock as Edward backed away from me and I turned to face my old friends, Steve and Johnny. It was my immediate instinct to make some excuse - I'd been drinking, I was caught up in the moment with everyone else saying Happy New Year, it was a joke, it was...

I asked myself what was more important; friends I hadn't seen in months, whom I had drifted away from, or Edward whom I spent most of my time with, whose past I shared, who I probably had a future with one day. The kiss had scared me, but not so much that I would push him away and hurt him in front of my friends. I could see him from the corner of my eye, face anxious, biting his lip, fingers alternately stretching out at his sides and curling into fists. I hadn't expected to be forced into confronting things so soon, but since I had been, I wasn't about to fuck it up, however difficult it might make things later. I reached out and grabbed his wrist, pulling him to my side.

"Guys, this is Edward Masen. Edward, these are my friends, Steve and Johnny."

My friends' eyes widened, as did Edward's and he glanced at me in shock.

"Hey...um...Edward," Steve stuttered, sticking his hand out in greeting.

Johnny took a slight step backwards and shoved his hands into his pockets, apparently speechless. Edward shook the offered hand numbly and then folded his arms around himself and stood silently beside me.

"Edward's my room mate," I heard myself say and then cringed, guessing the pair would immediately think we shared a bed too. "We should catch up properly before we go back next week," I added.

"Sure, why don't you call me?" suggested Steve.

We managed about another minute of small talk and then the guys made some excuse and walked away, leaving Edward and me alone. I glanced at him awkwardly, knowing I was bright red and hoping that the continuing fireworks disguised it. We began to walk away and head back to the truck in silent mutual agreement.

"I would have understood if you made some excuse to them," Edward said as we drew away from the crowds and noise.

"They saw me kiss you, I doubt I could have said anything to make them believe otherwise. Anyway, I wouldn't do that."

"You don't care what they think?"

"Yes, but I care more about what you think."

"Why did you do it? Kiss me, I mean."

"I don't know," I blurted and immediately noticed his hurt expression from the corner of my eye. Shit.

"Jacob, it's New Year, everybody kisses each other," he said. "I'll understand if you want to pretend it never happened."

"Don't do that," I groaned. I was filled with confusion - I had liked kissing him, I wanted to do it again, but at the same time it scared the hell out of me and I felt as if I was being swept along by something outside of my control and I didn't want to give him too much and then snatch it away. Part of me felt like it was what I wanted, or was beginning to want and the other part felt like it was too soon...way too soon. I struggled to find the words to just be honest. I felt that whatever I said it wasn't going to be what he really wanted to hear.

"Don't do what?" Edward asked.

"Let me off; you're trying to make things easy for me." I caught his hand as it swung at his side and wrapped my fingers around his tightly. "I'm not pretending it never happened. I just think I'm not ready for this...yet. I care about you...a lot...and I don't want to mess with you. I'm not going anywhere, I just...I need some time to work things out."

"Ok," he said quietly. "I'd have been surprised if you decided you suddenly wanted to be with me. I know it was a combination of the setting and that memory of before. You know how I feel about you, but I'm not in a rush for anything, if there even is going to be anything eventually."

"If there is...I want to know that it's real and not just because of what happened before," I said slowly. "Right now I don't know if I'm doing things because I'm meant to or because I want to."

"Thank you for being honest." He was smiling and I returned it with relief and squeezed his hand more firmly. "So...are we going to look for your mother tomorrow?" he asked then.

"Yeah," I nodded and I realised that looking for her, possibly finding out about my past for real, was more scary than anything that might happen with Edward in the future.


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

The house was silent when we returned and we crept to my room in the darkness and went straight to bed. I knew my parents would be awake until they heard me, even though they made the pretense of not waiting up. Neither Edward nor I spoke now, although my heart was pounding so loudly when I climbed into my bunk that I wondered if he would hear it. I kept replaying the kiss in my mind and despite fearing I wasn't ready for that, I knew I wanted to do it again. Eventually I slept, undisturbed by dreams, until my sisters knocking on the door woke us the next morning. I glanced at the clock and saw that it was eight-thirty - somehow Mom had managed to keep them quiet and let us sleep.

"Yeah, we're getting up!" I called out. "Is there any hot water?"

"Not much!" they shouted. "You might have to share!"

My face flamed and I rubbed my hands over my cheeks, not daring to look over the edge of the bunk at Edward.

"You go first if you want," I said.

Predictably I ended up with a cold shower, but I rushed through it and joined Edward in the kitchen for breakfast. I was filled with nervous excitement at the prospect of going to look for my birth mother and I struggled to eat as I listened to Edward describing the fireworks to Mom and my sisters. For once they weren't eager for our company and I discovered Mom had arranged for them to spend a good part of the day with one of the girls who came to their party, to give us some time to do what we wanted. The girl's father came to collect them half an hour later and suddenly the house was very quiet.

"What are you doing today?" Mom asked me.

"We're...um...we're going to La Push," I said.

"To look for Maria Black?"

"Uh..."

"It's ok, Jacob, I told you we're happy if you want to try to find her."

"Thanks, Mom," I said awkwardly. Even though she was ok with it, I still felt guilty in some way.

We set off in the truck just after ten and the closer we got to the other Reservation, the more nervous I felt. My mouth was dry and my stomach full of butterflies. Would I find her? If I did, would she even talk to me? Would she know anything about where I came from? I was glad to have Edward with me; at least I wasn't having to do this on my own.

Unsure where to start, I parked up outside a small convenience store, open New Year's Day the same way some of the stores in Neah Bay were. After a few minutes pretending to look at the stock while the young guy behind the counter served a customer, I asked if he knew of the Black family. If the store delivered newspapers, they probably knew everybody.

"You mean Jerry and Carmen Black?" the boy said at once and I nodded. At least it was a place to start.

"Could you tell me where they live?" I asked.

"Well, I don't know; who are you? You look local, but I don't recognise you."

"I live in Neah Bay," I told him. "I'm Quileute though, I left a long time ago. My name's Jacob Black."

"Oh, you're related then. Ok. They live on Cliff Street; it's the last branch off to the right from the main road there. The green house at the end."

I thanked him and we returned to the truck. I wiped my damp palms on my jeans before starting the engine again.

"Jerry and Carmen - I wonder if they're her parents?" I mused.

"Maybe. Or if not they might at least know where she is," Edward said.

I took a deep breath and steered the truck back onto the road, my heart hammering as we proceeded, looking for Cliff Street. In just a few more minutes we were outside the green house and I was tempted to turn around and go home without knocking on the door. I couldn't have explained why I was so worried about going to ask if they knew Maria - what was the worst that could happen? They would say no, or she would be there and not want to see me.

"You want me to come with you?" Edward asked, but I shook my head and he stayed in the truck as I walked up to the door.

I raised my hand to knock, but the door opened before I had the chance and I guessed the people had seen my truck and were curious. I looked back at the man in front of me - severely cropped black hair, greying at the temples, around the same height as me, but thin and gaunt.

"Yes?" he said suspiciously.

"Um...good morning, are you Jerry Black?" I asked.

"Who wants to know?"

"Jacob Black."

His eyes narrowed. "One of Josh's lot, are you?"

"Um...I don't know a Josh," I said. "I'm from Neah Bay, although I was born Quileute. I was looking for Maria Black."

Jerry's suspicious expression turned into a scowl. "What do you want with her?"

"You know her?"

"Uh huh."

"Well, I wondered if I might talk to her. I think...she might have been my mother. I was adopted as a baby."

Jerry's eyes flashed with something that looked like anger and to my surprise he turned away abruptly. "Carmen!" He walked away down the hall. "Some kid at the door, thinks he's Maria's." He muttered something else that I couldn't catch and disappeared into one of the rooms leading off the hallway. After a moment, a thin, worried looking woman came to speak to me.

"Maria's our daughter," she said.

"Oh! Well, can you tell me where she is?"

"I'm sorry, we don't know. We haven't seen her since she was little more than a child. What do you know about her?"

"I was told I'm her son. I was adopted; apparently she couldn't take care of me. I heard my father was her teacher, maybe?"

"She was on her own," Carmen said. "Jerry wouldn't have her in the house after the trouble she caused and she packed up and left."

"She was sixteen!" I gasped.

"We're very traditional."

"It's the Twenty-Second Century!"

"And this is none of your business. I suspected she was pregnant and I tried to find out where she went, but I wasn't able to. She came back months later, making out like nothing had happened although she admitted to me she'd had a baby and given it away. Jerry gave her another chance and she was here for about a year, but things were very strained. She took up with another man from out of state; Nevada I think; said she was going to marry him. He was a white man, Jerry wouldn't give him the time of day and Maria left with him. I had a letter to say she was alright, but since then, nothing."

"You don't even know where she is?"

"No. Now, I'm sorry I can't be any help, but I've told you all I know."

"But...what was the man's name?" I pressed.

"David something. It was a long time ago."

"Didn't you want to find her?"

She sighed heavily. "Please...just go. There's nothing else I can tell you."

"But you must be my grandmother," I went on. "I'm trying to find out where I came from."

"Then you'll have to look elsewhere." Her face stiffened now. "Mine and Jerry's parents are all gone now. I can't help you."

I clearly wasn't going to get any more out of her and I reluctantly returned to the truck. I was hugely disappointed by the anti-climax and despite having come face to face with my grandparents, they didn't want anything to do with me and hadn't cared enough to track down their own daughter after she left. Maria could be anywhere and I didn't have a hope in hell of finding her. I sighed heavily as I sat down behind the wheel and Edward scooted along the seat towards me, touching my arm.

"What happened?"

"Nothing." I recited what Carmen Black had told me. "It's a dead end. I'm never going to find her."

"Maybe there's someone else here who knows something," Edward said. "Friends perhaps? You want to find out about our previous life rather than the immediate ancestors, so who would know about things from ninety years ago? Tribal elders?"

"I suppose," I muttered despondently. Right now I couldn't imagine going and knocking on some other random stranger's door to be given more disappointing news and I started the truck. "I don't want to do this now. I know it seems stupid, since we're right here, but I just...I don't know, even doing this much was tough. I expected more; I know I shouldn't have."

"It's ok," Edward said. "It must be a bit of a shock after you were hoping to find your mother."

"It's not really that. I mean, I've only ever known my Mom and Dad and they're amazing. My main reason for finding her was for details on our pasts."

"We can come back another time to look for others who might help."

"I guess. Maybe I'll just drive around first, see if anything's familiar."

We did just that, but my memories didn't seem to be playing ball. I didn't recognise anything or have any visions, although I noticed Edward gradually growing tense as I drove about. He was chewing his lip, raking his fingers through his hair, fidgeting.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know; nothing I can explain. I feel like I'm...trespassing or something. Stupid." He laughed awkwardly.

"Maybe not. We were supposed to be enemies; you may not have been welcome here," I mused. "This whole thing is just...everything raises more questions. I _will _come back and try to find out more; I know if we go back to school next week and I haven't at least made more effort, I'll be kicking myself until Spring Break."

I turned the truck back onto the main road and headed back the way we had come until we were leaving the Reservation behind. We had only gone a short distance before something made me pull over onto the shoulder and I parked up and cut the engine again. Nothing surrounded us except trees and a narrow dirt track leading away from the road, but there was something important here.

"What is it?" Edward asked.

"I don't know. Let's look around." We got out of the truck and I wandered up the track a short distance. A large clearing was up ahead with a single tree growing in the middle of it - an oak with its branches bare of leaves, but decorated with snow.

"This wasn't here before," I muttered. "This tree must have been planted after we...died." I touched the trunk and walked around to the other side of it and suddenly I was in my previous life again, in a house that I knew had belonged to Edward and me. We were in our bedroom at the top of the house, me in my wolf form and Edward wearing just pants, both of us tense, waiting for an attack that we knew was coming.

_'I love you,' I thought, knowing he would hear it and hoping it wasn't going to be the last chance I had to tell him._

_"I love you too."_

_The door fell inwards, torn from its hinges, landing flat on the floor and admitting a blur of bodies. I sprang without thought or planning - there was no time for either and no room to do anything other than fight and fight hard. My jaws clamped around a vampire's head, tearing it from its body and I jumped back before aiming at the next. This one was small but determined looking and it rushed at me, hands outstretched. I halted and slid backwards, my claws tearing up the carpet, propelled by what seemed to be some kind of force-field. The vampire didn't even touch me, but I was powerless to fight back. I snapped helplessly towards its hands, my ears vaguely registering the sound of snarling outside and a brief sense of relief washing over me. The pack were here. Maybe now we had a chance._

_I lashed out with my claws, struggling to free myself from the vampire's power, my eyes swivelling around me to take in the rest of the room. Edward had killed two other vampires, their bodies lying in a heap at the side of the bed, but now three more were cornering him and as I watched, all of them moved as one. Two large powerful ones pinned him to the wall suddenly and although he managed to throw one off in a second, the other made a quick move with its hands and in an instant his arm was detached from his body. The limb landed in front of my paws._

_'No! Edward! Fuck!' I screamed in my head._

_The grinning vampire in front of me seemed momentarily distracted and I felt the force holding me weaken a little. I launched myself forwards and snapped my teeth together around the creature's throat, tearing out a chunk so that its head rolled back and its body crumpled to the ground. I sprang at the next attacker, desperate to get to Edward who, one-armed and yelling, was still held against the wall by the other vampire._

_The vampire who I remembered had rescued us in Italy glided smoothly through the window and engaged the first guard he came to as I killed another. Then I turned towards Edward, my beautiful Imprint, just as the smaller vampire in front of him raised her hand, throwing a fireball from her fingertips. I was deafened then, by the snarling and screaming downstairs and by the screams of agony from Edward as he went up in flames._

"Jacob! Oh, God, what happened? Jacob!"

My eyes refocused on the snowy ground in front of me and I realised I was kneeling, my mouth open from screaming and a pain in my chest so intense I felt as if I could have been stabbed. I sucked my breath in hard and put my hands over my face, shuddering and crying. Edward was kneeling beside me, his arms holding me as I gasped and sobbed.

"C-can't you remember?" I choked.

"I remember we lived here. That's all."

"You died...they killed you...I saw it...fuck..."

"Sshh...it's ok...it's over...I'm here..." Edward was saying. "Come on, get up. Let's get back to the truck."

I stumbled to my feet on shaky legs and Edward held me up as we walked. In a few minutes I was sitting in the passenger side of the truck and Edward had started the engine, turning the heating up. I took a long shaky breath and dried my face.

"Fuck, that was...intense..."

"What happened?"

"I don't know what happened before...we were in the house, in our room, me as a wolf. It was like we knew there was an attack coming. I think they were something to do with the people who held us prisoner in Italy. A bunch of vampires. They attacked us and your...family...and my wolves fought them. Your family were different somehow; you weren't killers, Edward. I can't explain it, but somehow I just know that. I was fighting one of them and three others overpowered you...tore your arm off. Oh, God..." I screwed my face up in an effort to shut out the horrible image, followed by that of Edward burning and screaming, turning to dust in front of me.

"I can remember a little," he said. "I can remember fighting and then...nothing."

"You seem so calm." I realised he was still holding me, stroking his fingers through my hair and I grasped his hand and held onto it tightly.

"I can't remember the horror of it...I can only see how it was from the way you reacted. You were screaming..."

"I know."

"You just told me I wasn't a killer. I don't know how you know, but if that's true then it makes the one thing I really hated about this better. I know I died...we both did...but we already knew that."

"Yeah, I guess. Seeing it happen though, it was so real," I groaned. "Seeing you die...I felt like part of me was dying."

"Maybe that's why we're here again now," Edward murmured. "We already know you Imprinted on me and I died a violent death..."

"We were really young," I put in. "I was eighteen."

"So our time was cut short, but we had this really strong connection..."

"We're getting another bite at the cherry." I smiled slightly. "We _have_ to find out properly. Right now I just want to go home, but we'll come back in a couple of days and ask around some more. I feel like we're really close to discovering who we were."

"Me too." Edward let go of me and edged away a few inches. "Do you want me to drive?"

"Yes, please." I sat back in the seat and watched as he shifted the truck into gear and steered us back onto the road. I hadn't even realised he could drive, but I shouldn't have been surprised. It was pretty unusual for anyone to reach eighteen without having learned.

"When's your birthday?" he asked as we left La Push.

"My birthday? The fourteenth, why? That's pretty random."

"I don't know, I thought you might want to think about something else; that's the first thing that came into my head because your Dad said you wouldn't get a birthday gift because of the truck."

I grinned. "When's yours?"

"June."

"Aww," I teased. "Still a baby."

"Maybe this time around. Something tells me I was over a hundred when we were together before."

"Jeez, so I was dating an old man?"

"Apparently so."

I looked at his profile, eyes fixed on the road ahead, the glasses he had pulled out of his pocket perched on his nose, the corner of his mouth drawn up into his crooked smile.

"I'm glad I found you," I heard myself say.

"You were meant to."

"I mean, without that."

"Me too." He glanced at me briefly. "What are you going to do about your friends?"

"What friends?"

"The guys we saw last night?"

"Oh...um...I guess I'll call them like I said and catch up. Maybe later. I'm sure they want to give me the third degree."

I smirked as I remembered the stunned look on the guys' faces after they saw me kiss Edward. I decided to get that out of the way as soon as we got home. I briefly told my parents what had happened in La Push and then Edward went into more detail while I called Steve from my room. Predictably he didn't waste any time in grilling me.

"Are you gay?"

"Um..."

"Or bi? I mean, you were kissing a _guy."_

"Well, I guess I must be then," I grinned, feeling strangely unfazed by the question.

"Is he staying at your place?"

"Yes."

"Do your parents know?"

"No, it's really early days," I said truthfully.

"Oh, ok. Well, me and John won't gossip. Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something."

"You mean that's all you're gonna say?"

"Jake, it's up to you who you're with, but I really don't want to dwell on the fact that you like dick," Steve blurted. My face heated up and I cleared my throat.

"So what did you want to talk about?"

"Suzannah."

"Ok..."

"I...um...I kind of felt bad about it because of you being with her so long and everything, but since you're...with a guy, I figured you didn't want her back. I mean..."

"Spit it out, Steve, are you saying you like her?" I interrupted.

"Yeah. We went on one date right before Christmas."

"Are you going to see her again?"

"Yes, I want to and she seems to want that too."

"Cool."

"You don't mind?"

"Why would I mind?" I said at once. "You're my friend, she's a nice girl, if you like each other, that's great."

"Awesome," Steve said with relief.

I chatted to him for a few more minutes and then went to rejoin Edward and my parents. He hadn't yet told them we planned to go back to La Push in a few days and ask around some more.

"There's bound to be someone there who knows something," I mused.

"You might try looking for the tribal elders," Dad suggested.

"Yeah, Edward said that too. We'll give it a try." Hopefully this time we might come back with some answers.


	15. Chapter 15

**As always, thank you to everyone who is reading, reviewing and favouriting :o)**

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Edward and I had talked to my parents some more after the girls went to bed. I explained that I had briefly met my grandparents who had been less than welcoming and they assumed that this and the fact that Maria was gone was the reason for me being distracted for the rest of the evening. They knew nothing of the involvement of Edward in my past yet as I wasn't ready to admit that I had been in love with a boy and was heading that way again, so I struggled to ignore the fact that the image of him dying was stuck in my head all evening.

I was plagued by dreams that night too; first I was back in our house in the middle of the fight, watching Edward die all over again and then I was in the searching dream, racing here and there looking desperately for him although I didn't see my own death and as yet didn't know what had happened to me. I woke from the dreams shuddering and groaning, my t-shirt and shorts clinging to my damp body and Edward on his feet next to the bunks shaking me. I got up, changed into some dry clothes and spent the rest of the night in the bottom bunk in his arms.

When I opened my eyes in the morning, I was lying on my back the way I had been before, Edward partly draped over me and his erection pressed against my thigh; my own lay flat against my belly, the leaking tip dampening my shorts and I immediately felt my face warming. I glanced at him, still sleeping, his head resting against my shoulder, lips parted slightly as he breathed, long lashes resting on his cheeks and his chaotic hair sticking up in all directions. He was beautiful - I could admit to myself now that I thought that and it didn't scare me - and I continued to let my thoughts wander. I remembered New Year's Eve, the fireworks going off around us as we kissed and I thought back to our very first kiss all those years ago, his lips ice cold and mine warm, goosebumps breaking out all over my skin as I tasted him; he had tasted sweet and he had been more scared than I was back then.

He stirred, grunting softly and shifting against me and I angled my head downwards and brushed my lips against the corner of his mouth before I could think better of it. His lashes fluttered and raised slowly, his eyes dark as moss as they met mine.

"I thought you weren't ready for this," he murmured.

"Well...I wasn't...but it seems like a lot happened in the last couple of days. Having to watch you die yesterday..."

I stopped talking and touched my lips to his, my heart hammering so loudly that I was sure he must be able to hear it. I was still scared, but at the same time I wanted to kiss him too badly not to. His lips parted and caressed mine slowly and I slid my hand up to his face, cupping his cheek and then sliding my fingers into his hair. His heart was racing as fast as mine and his cock throbbed against my leg. He moaned softly and I drew back at once.

"Sorry," he whispered, flushing vividly and edging back against the wall. "If you want to take this slow, you should probably not kiss me in bed; you're having quite an effect on me."

"Yeah...um..." I sniggered slightly, embarrassed. "I think I'll...go get a shower."

I slid out of the bed quickly and grabbed a pair of pants to cover up my own hard-on, should I run into any of the rest of the family on the way to the bathroom. However, it was still early enough for Claire and Chloe's room to be silent and I locked the bathroom door, turned on the shower and relished the hot water, lathering myself slowly with handfuls of shower gel. I was still hard, my stubborn morning erection refusing to subside. I wrapped my hand around it and closed my eyes, trying to remember what I normally thought about when I jerked off. Nothing came to mind, except me kissing Edward, his body pressed close, his cock twitching against my thigh. My own quivered in my hand and my breathing quickened, my heart pounding nervously as I let my thoughts continue to wander.

I wondered if Edward had ever jerked off in the shower and thought about me, maybe when we were back at college in our room. Immediately I had an image of him standing in that shower stall, leaning against the tiled wall the same way I was now, stroking his hands down his body, smoothing down the damp hair on his chest, following the happy trail to his cock which was rigid, aching for his attention. My mind jumped back in time briefly to show me that exact same scene ninety years ago, his body pale, his cock just as white except for the head which was flushed slightly pink. I returned to the present, to our college bathroom, his erection appearing the same in size and shape, but with a more natural colour to it and my own throbbed impatiently in my hand. I stroked it firmly and bit my lip to suppress a groan.

"Fuck," I muttered.

I was jerking off thinking about Edward's cock and it was exciting me more than it was scaring me. I imagined that he was standing in front of me right now, touching himself and letting me watch and my hand moved faster. I slid the other hand down to cup my balls and tug on them, clenching my jaw and struggling to stay quiet as my orgasm approached and then suddenly I was coming hard, shooting my load all over the glass door in front of me, my chest heaving with the effort of drawing in enough air. I took my hands off of myself quickly, grabbed the shower head and rinsed off the door, my cheeks now feeling hotter than the water. I jerked off thinking about Edward and now I had to go out there and face him; what if he guessed what I'd been doing? I reached for the shower gel again and gave myself another quick scrub. What did it matter if he did know? He would probably do the exact same thing anyway, I told myself. I should be more worried about the fact that I just got myself off thinking about a boy, but it bothered me far less than I expected it to. Somehow my feelings had changed very quickly from knowing I had been with him before and being alarmed, to imagining myself with him now; _wanting_ to be with him now.

I returned to the room moments later and Edward slipped past me to go to the bathroom without speaking. When he returned, he was flushed and his eyes sparkled and I would have been willing to bet he'd just come. I grinned and his colour rose.

"So...what are we doing today?" he asked, combing his fingers through his damp hair awkwardly.

"Um...we should probably do something with my sisters today, then we could go back to La Push tomorrow," I said. "You know, if there's anything else you particularly want to do while you're here, let me know."

"There is something," he said thoughtfully. "You'll probably think it's stupid..."

"No, I won't."

"I'd really like to go out on a boat trip. Do they do those at this time of year?"

"Yeah, they do them all year round, sometimes you get to see whales," I said, immediately remembering the image of us on the boat before. I had already given him the record and he gave me the dreamcatcher he had bought when we were on the boat. "Let's go the day after tomorrow."

It seemed like we had arranged a date and I felt foolishly excited as I pictured us on the top deck of a boat, the same way as before, looking out to sea in the cold breeze. However good or bad things might turn out in La Push, at least I had that to look forward to afterwards.

We took my sisters sledging again that day. The temperature had risen slightly and the snow was beginning to melt, so it looked like the last chance they would get to enjoy it, at least while Edward and I were home. Then the following day we rose early as usual, but kept out of the way until the morning chaos in the house was over. Claire and Chloe were starting back at school that day and they insisted Edward and I take them in my new truck. Mom and her little car weren't good enough when they could have their two big brothers take them and then spend the rest of the day showing off to their friends. Finally by nine-thirty we were ready to set off to La Push and I let Edward drive, deciding to concentrate more on my surroundings once we reached the Reservation.

"I don't really know where to start," I mused as Edward slowed the truck at the border and drove down Main Street.

"How about a store, or that garage over there?" he suggested. "They must know who the elders are."

"Yeah, but will they tell me? I'll give it a try," I said and he pulled over in front of the garage.

A middle-aged man emerged from the building a moment later as I climbed out of the truck, apparently assuming we needed something fixing.

"Morning. What seems to be the trouble?" he asked.

"Morning. It's not the truck; I wondered if you could help me though. I live in Neah Bay, but I'm Quileute," I began. "My name's Jacob Black. I met my grandparents, Jerry and Carmen, but I'm looking for one of the elders. Can you help?"

"Jacob Black, huh?" His eyes narrowed. "I know Jerry; he never mentioned a grandson, though."

"He didn't know about me until a couple of days ago," I said, hoping I hadn't created some unwelcome gossip for the Blacks, however unpleasant they had been.

"Uh...well...I guess you could try speaking to Quil Ateara."

The name sounded familiar to me and I wondered if I'd known someone from that family before.

"They go back generations," the man confirmed. "Quil Ateara VII is one of the elders here; some people call him the chief, although the real leader is a woman. Old Quil's house is right at the end of this road on the cliff, you can't miss it."

"Ok, thanks for your help," I said, pleasantly surprised. I had imagined it being much more difficult to find anything out. I got back into the truck and directed Edward down the road. We stopped again outside the large house on the cliff and I went to the door, my heart in my mouth. I could be about to meet someone who could tell me about my past and I hesitated before knocking and glanced back at the truck where Edward waited. Then I took a deep breath and knocked loudly. After waiting a few minutes and knocking again, my heart sank as I realised no one was home and I walked back to the truck.

"No one's there," I said needlessly. "Why don't you park up over there and we'll walk around for a bit?" I indicated an area some yards away which was clearly a parking spot for people heading down to the beach. It was empty and Edward moved the truck and locked it.

"There must be someone around here we can talk to," I said as we wandered along the top of the cliff, looking out at the grey sea thundering up the beach below. It all seemed vaguely familiar to me and I could see myself down there on that beach, fooling around in the water with a bunch of other kids, all of us clad only in cut-offs.

"What about him?" Edward indicated a youngish man shovelling snow outside a house some distance ahead. As we approached, he leaned the shovel up against the house wall and stared at us for a moment before opening the door and shouting to someone inside.

"Pops! Come out here, quick!"

"What is it, Stuart?" An older man stepped outside, looking to be in his sixties, wrinkled and greying and incredibly familiar. His face was that of the friend we had taken the boat trip with.

"Oh my God!" His hand extended to grab the younger man's arm to support himself as we halted a few yards away.

"Hey...um...I'm looking for..." I began.

"Jacob Black!" the older man exclaimed. "It's not possible."

"There's a photo of you in the house," the younger guy said. "I'm Stuart Clearwater; this is my great-grandfather, Embry Clearwater-Call."

Embry had been my best friend, I remembered. He was half Makah and half Quileute. He had been the first one I told about Edward and he had shared a secret with me in return - his love for the one female wolf in the pack.

"Clearwater-Call?" I echoed. "Leah?"

"My wife," Embry nodded and glanced at Edward and then back at me. "I think you two better come inside. I need to sit down before I fall down."

Edward and I followed the pair into the house and sat down in the lounge opposite Embry while Stuart disappeared, shouting loudly for 'Gramma'. I struggled to think of something to say and found myself at a loss. How could I explain to my old friend, who had to be over a hundred years old, that I was the same person I had been then; that I could remember him and that Edward and I had found each other a second time? As I glanced around the room I spotted a framed photograph showing a group of boys and a girl, two of whom were myself and a young Embry.

Moments later I realised I didn't have to think of anything to say as Leah marched into the room, without Stuart, and closed the door. She looked the same, just older - boyish, determined, her hair still black and cut in a short style and I immediately remembered how she had been, always angry and bitter until she discovered Embry loved her and here they were, ninety years together and apparently with several generations of descendants.

"Holy shit!" she exclaimed, dropping heavily into an armchair. "Are you real?"

I nodded. "I think we're reincarnated. We can remember things...more each day."

"It's been known to happen, at least in the tribe. One of Sam and Emily's kids claimed to remember a load of stuff from life here way before any of us - they always thought he had the soul of his great-great-grandfather. But how do you explain him?" She glanced at Edward now with raised eyebrows. "Not still a leech, are you?"

Edward reddened and shook his head. I remembered that day on the boat when he and I had received glares from some couple who apparently disapproved of two boys being so close. Leah had given them a tongue-lashing.

"You haven't changed," I said. "I'm surprised you're still here."

"I'm a hundred and eleven, just had my birthday!" she said proudly.

"You know, this should be really weird, but somehow I feel like I just called in to see you like I did before." My heart was hammering and I had to clench my fists to stop my hands shaking, but I felt at home, as if there hadn't been a ninety-year gap since the four of us last saw each other and that in itself was more strange than anything else. I would have expected this to be beyond awkward and for the pair to be horrified or suspicious and for me to be very shaken, but none of that were true.

"Well, it seems pretty weird to me," Embry said. "The last time I saw you, we were burying you."

Leah snorted. "I do feel a bit like I've just gone back in time. What do you remember exactly?" she asked.

"I started having dreams about searching for something when I was ten. They stopped for a while and then when I went to college last September they started up again. Edward turned out to be my room mate and I recognised him. Since then I remembered Imprinting, being imprisoned in Italy and you guys rescuing us and some other things. I remember Edward dying in a big fight." I grimaced as I said this, noticing Leah and Embry both nodding as if they remembered too.

"Do you remember what happened to you?"

"No. We were here a couple days ago and we found where our house was," I said. "That's when I remembered Edward's death. There's a tree there now."

Embry nodded again. "We...I mean, the pack...planted that for you two and the others who died."

"Do you know what happened to me?" I asked.

"I don't know the details. You went to Alaska to the Cullens' cousins' house..."

Edward and I glanced at each other at the mention of the Cullens and then turned back to Embry.

"Carlisle Cullen contacted Sam to say you died there in some fight with the Denali vampires. They brought your body back and we buried you where the house was."

I remembered; in an instant I was in the past, looking at the burnt remains of the house, my body and mind in agony over the loss of my Imprint; then I was in wolf form, racing north to Alaska. I reached the huge house there that belonged to the Denalis and launched myself through the glass, attacking a blonde female. There my memory ended and I came back to the present, panting, eyes wide, Edward gripping my hand.

"Your cousins killed me," I told him. "There was one who liked to torment people somehow; she already hated me..."

"Kate," Edward put in.

"Yeah. I went there to take her out because I knew the others would kill me and I'd be able to follow you."

"Jesus, Jake," Embry groaned. "Sam said...he told us a couple days later that he spoke to you. He knew you were going away to die."

"I couldn't go on without Edward," I said. "And it seems that somehow...fate decided to give us another shot."

"You're together?" Leah asked, eyeing our joined hands.

"Um..." Edward glanced at me.

"It's early days," I said. "But yeah." I noticed from the corner of my eye that he immediately drew his bottom lip between his teeth and bit hard to suppress a smirk.

Leah beamed. "I never would have admitted it back then, but I thought you two were sickeningly cute once I got used to you."

"Jeez," I muttered.

"The thing that's most difficult to believe - even though all of this is pretty unbelievable - is that I came back at all, since I didn't have a soul before," Edward said after a moment. "There doesn't seem to be an explanation..."

I was relieved by the slight change of subject and reminded that we hadn't answered Leah's question about Edward's presence. Now she made an attempt to answer it herself.

"Maybe it was your Imprint, Jake, it's about the most powerful connection between two people that there is. Or the fact that we buried you in the same place Edward died. Who knows? Remember when we were kids and we first phased and we had to stop thinking of shifters as legends and accept it as real? That kind of makes anything believable, doesn't it? I mean, look at us now. We kept phasing to see our kids and grandkids grow up. We only decided to quit and start acting our ages around forty years ago. Do you remember your Dad, Billy?"

"Um...not really...it's only recently that I started to remember things properly."

"Ok, well, Billy was one of the tribal leaders and he kept a journal. Before he died he gave it to you - I mean, the old you - to read and then you passed it to my mother, Sue Clearwater for safekeeping. She was one of the original elders and I stepped into her shoes when she died."

"Leah's the chief now," Embry said with pride. "They don't call her that, but she's the first female leader of the Quileutes."

Leah grinned. "Gives me another excuse to be bossy."

"Wow, so you're making history then," I said. "Do you still have the journal?"

"Oh, yes, it's right here in this cupboard." She got up and unlocked a drawer in the chest nearby. "Em, do you want to get some beers?"

"We're not old enough to drink," Edward said and Leah cackled suddenly.

"Coke, then," she corrected.

"Are there any more of you still here? The old pack, I mean?" I asked.

"No. Jared was killed in the fight at your house. Sam and Emily had a family, but he stopped phasing to stay with her; Paul did the same so that Stacey wouldn't age away from him. Quil did too and little Seth married, although he didn't Imprint. All of them just aged naturally, it's only Em and me that are gluttons for punishment. Kind of weird seeing your little brother get older than you." She passed the book in her hands to me and sat down again as Embry returned with a tray of glasses of coke.

"Remember me telling you about being in the hospital?" I said to Edward. "We were there for my Dad, just before he died." I ran my hand over the cover of the journal. "He told me to take this and we read it together; I wrote a little in it myself at the end."

I opened the book from the back and flicked through the few empty pages until I reached the last ones bearing entries. On the final page, a photograph had been attached, showing Edward and I wearing suits with white roses in the lapels and bright smiles on our faces. On the same page, written in my own hand-writing, a paragraph stated that I had married Edward on April thirtieth when I would have been just seventeen. I had written that we planned to move into our own home as soon as I reached my eighteenth birthday.

"We were married!" I gasped.

"Oh, yeah, despite all the opposition," Leah said. "Sam and Carlisle weren't impressed, although they got over it."

"Married," Edward repeated, blushing. He seemed delighted by the idea and I had to wonder exactly how far his imagination had gone when it came to me. I pushed the thought aside temporarily; too many questions still needed to be answered.

"Who's Carlisle?" I asked.

"My father. I mean...he adopted me, if you like," Edward said.

"I was adopted," I told Embry and Leah. "By a Makah family. My name is actually Jacob Lester, but I found out Jerry and Carmen Black are my grandparents."

"Have you seen them?" Embry asked.

"Yes..."

"I don't suppose you got a warm welcome."

"Not very."

"I don't know what his problem is; he's always been a mean-tempered individual. He has a brother and twin sisters and they're totally different; the women are lovely; Leigh and Meg, I guess they'd be your great-aunts? They're both married with kids and grandkids."

"What about before them? Is there any connection to the original me?"

"There is," Leah said. "You had twin sisters too - seems like it runs in the family."

"My adoptive parents have twins," I put in.

"The Black girls didn't live in La Push - Rebecca and her husband lived in Hawaii and Rachel was in New York. She never married, but she had a baby boy; he was named after you. He eventually married and his wife had three kids - Jerry first, then Josh and then the girls. Rachel died and Jacob decided to bring his family here to the Res to find his roots. So you are a direct descendant of one of the original sisters, which I guess makes sense."

I nodded. At last things were starting to become clearer and if Leah and Embry could fill in a few more gaps and we could find out about Edward's past, perhaps we would remember everything else from our previous lives.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N - I am over the moon to report that the prequel to this story, "United We Fall", came 9th in the Top 10 Favourite Fics completed in January 2013 at www twifanfictionrecs com, so any of you wonderful readers who voted for me, a thousand thanks and a big hug to you!**

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

We stayed with Embry and Leah for several hours. There seemed to be so much to say and even the amount of time we did spend with them, it was nowhere near enough. They told us what had happened to all of the pack members as their lives progressed and we discussed a number of things that had involved Edward and me that we could remember. Embry described how he and Jasper Cullen broke into the cell in Volterra, Italy, to get us out while the remainder of the pack and the Cullens set fire to the place and killed a good proportion of the enemy - the Volturi, who were a collection of some of the most powerful vampires in the world.

"What happened to the Cullens?" I asked at one point and noticed Edward freeze as we waited for the answer. "I know that some died..."

"There were four of them left," Leah said. "Do you remember them, Edward?"

He shook his head slowly. "Only vaguely. I remember Carlisle and his wife, who was like my mother."

"Esme," I remembered.

"They're still around, and the other two young guys - Emmett and Jasper," Embry said.

"Still around? You mean they're here?" I gasped.

"I mean they're back. They went away not long after you two died. Emmett and Jasper had both been married and their wives died in the fight you died in, Edward. They didn't want to stay and because they don't age, they're limited to how much time they can spend in one place anyway."

"Of course," I put in.

"They came back maybe a year ago. We haven't had any dealing with them though. Carlisle got in touch with us when he heard we were still alive, but there hasn't been any need for us to unite. There haven't been rogue vampires here in decades; well, not since you were here before actually. After we got rid of the Volturi that final time, we've been left alone. I think Aro - he was the Volturi leader - must have accepted we were more powerful than even them and no one else has troubled us."

"You mean there's no new pack?" I asked.

Embry shook his head. "We were the last. Remember your Dad, Billy, saying the gene always showed up every couple of generations whenever vamps came into the area? I guess because there haven't been any, there hasn't been a need. Leah and I are the last wolves. If a pack had been needed, you probably would have phased, Jacob. Your bloodline is still undiluted and the original you was intended to be the Alpha so that probably would have been the case again."

"You said that the Cullens are in the area?" Edward said suddenly. "Where...?"

"Their old house. The drive turns off the road to Forks a couple miles outside the Reservation; pretty close to where you found your old house. Are you going to see them?"

"Um..." Edward paled. "Maybe. How much do you know about them?"

"A fair bit, I guess," Embry said. "We got to know them reasonably well back then, especially with you two being so close. What do you want to know?"

"Were they...I mean, did they...kill people? Jacob seems to think that I wasn't a killer, but...I just don't know."

"If they'd have killed people, we'd have killed them!" Leah exclaimed. "In fact, Jasper almost bought it once. His wife died in Italy and he went nuts - ran off to Texas and killed a few people who were already dying of other things. It was in the news; they called him the Angel of Death or something like that. You all went to get him back and Sam was all set to finish him..."

"That's what we were doing in Texas!" I exclaimed. I remembered instantly - all of us in some motel, hunting for Jasper, the Cullens uncomfortable with my presence, Edward and me sharing a room, holding each other, me trying to kiss him and him flying across the room in horror...

"Jasper turned a young girl," Edward said slowly. "Alexa. He married her in Alaska at my cousins' place."

"That's the main reason Sam was all for getting rid of him," Leah added. "Biting or killing a human was bad enough, but making a newborn...big no no. Anyway, we moved away from the point. Edward, you and the Cullens called yourselves vegetarians. You lived on the blood of animals; in fact your lot managed to wipe out most of the wildlife in the area over the few years you stayed - deer, mountain lions, bears, everything."

"We hunted together sometimes, me in wolf form," I said.

"Thank God," Edward muttered shakily.

Having discovered this, he seemed much more keen to hear about everything else and asked more questions until eventually it came time for us to leave. We exchanged phone numbers with Leah and Embry and promised to call on them again as soon as we could. Then we began to head back to Neah Bay, both of us looking for the drive which led up to the Cullens' house. I halted the truck when I spotted it and glanced at Edward.

"What do you think?"

"Um...I can't. Not today."

"You don't want to meet them? Learn more about you?"

"I do...just...not now." He bit his lip and looked back at me worriedly.

"It's ok," I said. "We know where they are if you want to later." I shifted the truck into gear again and we moved on. I was actually a little disappointed. I was curious about the Cullens and after seeing Embry and Leah, a pair who should have long since died of old age, who were actual shape-shifters and had been able to discuss things that I - or the old me - had been involved in ninety years before, I was eager to meet the others too. I hoped Edward would decide he wanted to do that before we returned to college in a few days' time.

When we got home, Claire and Chloe were home from school, talking excitedly about their first day back and we were forced to keep our day to ourselves until after they went to bed. I noticed Edward had been particularly quiet all evening and I knew he was thinking about the Cullens; worrying about it most likely. I wasn't sure how much to tell my parents and decided it would probably be best to keep his involvement out of it for the moment. I told them instead that I had found out where I came from, how I could trace myself back to the sister of the original Jacob and how we had met a couple from my past. Even though my parents were open to just about anything with their own tribal beliefs, I felt uncomfortable telling them Embry and Leah were well over a hundred years old and remembered me from before, but they accepted it, including the part where we had been shape-shifters intended to protect the tribe. I said only that I had died at eighteen defending my home from an attack and that I thought fate had seen fit to give me another chance after my life had been cut short so suddenly. The only thing that did seem to surprise them was Edward's acceptance of everything, but he explained that he had studied the tribes with great interest and believed most of what he read, even though some of it involved spirit lore which most modern Americans thought were fairy tales.

When we retired to my room, we talked more about what we had learned that day. The more I thought about it and went over what Leah and Embry had told us, the more I was able to piece together my previous life. Previously the short memories I had were disjointed, like clips from a number of different movies which didn't connect, but gradually the gaps were being filled in and I felt more relaxed about the whole thing than I had since my first dream. I knew Edward didn't feel the same, but perhaps if he decided to meet the Cullens, that would change.

The following day, much as I longed to investigate further, we had already planned to take a boat trip from PA and we set off after we drove my sisters to school. There would be few tourists at this time of year and I began to look forward to the outing, maybe having the top deck of the boat to ourselves. We were in luck and discovered when we arrived that a tour was about to set off, with only four other passengers on the lower deck and Edward quickly bought tickets before we hurried aboard as the operator began untying the vessel.

Most of the snow had now gone, but the air was icy, not improved by a brisk wind blowing in off the North Pacific. Hiking jackets, sturdy boots, scarves and gloves kept us from being too cold, but my cheeks stung and my eyes watered and I noticed Edward's face looked just as pinched as mine felt. We sat at the back of the boat for a while and then leaned on the railing, gazing about in the hopes of seeing whales.

I felt nervous; I couldn't really explain why, but I kept glancing at Edward, imagining moving to stand behind him, wrapping my arms around him and cuddling him, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. My heart raced and my mouth was dry as I pictured myself doing it, but I remained rooted to the spot with about a foot long gap between us, cursing myself for being such a coward. He wouldn't push me away; in fact he turned and met my eyes a few times with a smile on his face, his eyes hopeful and still I kept my distance. Maybe I just wasn't ready to get closer to him, despite having kissed him again since New Year, but I was kicking myself three hours later when the boat docked again and Edward walked off it ahead of me, his face filled with disappointment.

"Are we going back now?" he asked as we walked along next to the sea wall.

"No, let's go get lunch somewhere," I said decidedly.

"I'm...not really hungry."

"Just a snack then, or coffee or something."

"Ok."

We made our way to a small seafood restaurant overlooking the water, most of the tables empty as it was already approaching two o'clock. We took a corner booth and Edward slid into the seat and took his coat off. I sat next to him rather than opposite and asked the waiter to bring us some cokes while we decided if we actually wanted to eat or not. When the drinks had been delivered and we were left alone, I pulled myself together. I felt as if I'd spent the whole morning being an idiot; I didn't have to rush things, but I could have at least been closer to him, which was what I wanted.

"Edward, I'm sorry," I said.

"What for?"

"Just being weird and distant."

"It's ok."

"No it isn't. I kept wanting to get close to you and I was just...chicken."

"I didn't expect anything," he said softly.

"Yes, you did, I could see it in your face. I guess I thought...I don't know, this is new to me."

"It's new to me too."

"But you had a boyfriend before."

"Yes, but we didn't really have dates, we just used to hang out."

"Didn't you...uh...do stuff with him? I mean...you know..." I ventured and Edward blushed vividly.

"Not really, he was more uptight than me, I think I said that before. I mean, we kissed a lot, but that was all."

I grinned, ridiculously relieved that nobody had touched him.

"So...um...what is this...today?" he asked slowly. "I mean, are we hanging out, or...?"

"I don't know, I think it's a date," I said. "I know it didn't start off quite how we wanted, but it's only two o'clock. We could get some food maybe and go to the movies later?"

"Only if you want to."

"Yeah, I do want to. We went to the movies on our first date before," I reminded him. "We saw a vampire movie. You said you liked them because the way the writers portrayed them made you laugh; they always got it wrong."

Edward snorted with laughter now. "Ok, I'd like that. Suddenly I'm pretty hungry."

"Me too."

We ordered rice dishes containing shrimp and mussels and talked as we ate, then walked slowly back to the truck. The movie theatre was over on the other side of town and I hoped that it would be just as quiet as the boat and the restaurant; we were in luck. The parking lot held few cars and the lobby was empty. I sent Mom a text to let her know we wouldn't be back for dinner as we walked inside. I hadn't been keeping up to date on the movies which were showing lately and suggested Edward choose what he wanted to see, imagining it would be the movie with the billboards outside depicting some far off planet, but when he returned from the booth with tickets in his hand, he was laughing quietly to himself.

"What are we seeing?" I asked.

"Dead Of Night. It's a vampire movie. I thought we might as well make this as much like the first time as we can."

Only one small group of other people were seeing the movie - three teenage boys sitting at the front with buckets of popcorn - and we headed up to the back to sit in one of the couples' seats, hanging our coats on the back of the seats in front of us. This time I didn't hesitate and hold back, but grasped Edward's hand in mine and laced our fingers together, holding it on my thigh as we watched the trailers and then the movie itself. The production was reasonably well done in that everything looked realistic, but Edward repeatedly sniggered and pointed out faults, such as vampires didn't run screaming from crosses and couldn't be killed with a wooden stake, only beheading and burning worked. I flinched as I pictured him burning in our house and I gripped his hand tighter. I was never going to get that image out of my head, as long as I lived.

When the movie ended and we walked out of the building, darkness had fallen and the parking lot had filled up. I had left the truck over to one side by the boundary wall and as we headed towards it, I used the remote button to unlock it, but walked to the passenger side with Edward, my heart pounding unevenly. I wanted to kiss him before we left, knowing we wouldn't get the opportunity once we got home, and I told myself to stop over-thinking everything like I had been on the boat and just do what felt right. He was unzipping his coat so he wouldn't get too warm on the drive back and I caught his arm and turned him towards me.

He leaned back against the side of the truck and I rested my hands on his waist under the coat, feeling the warmth of him through his sweater. I was still scared, but more excited than I was fearful. My heart raced, the hair on the back of my neck stood up and I held my breath as I edged closer and brushed my lips over his. His lashes lowered to his cheeks and I closed my eyes too as I kissed him again more firmly, my lips caressing his and teasing them apart. His hands slid up to my shoulders and then around my neck and I pulled my mouth from his for a second to breathe before I continued, the tip of my tongue stroking along his lower lip before I pushed it into his mouth and encountered his own warm tongue. I slipped my arms around his waist and held him tighter, feeling his arousal against my belly as he moaned into the kiss, his hands gripping my neck. Heat began to spread to my groin and I felt my cock move in my jeans, trying to lengthen and rise, but crushed by the tight fabric. It was my instinct to pull away from Edward before he became aware of it, the same way I would have with Suzannah, but his own steely hardness encouraged me to stay where I was and continue kissing him and tasting him. I shifted only enough to adjust my pants to make things more comfortable and then I pressed myself harder against him, letting him feel that he was having the same effect on me as I was on him.

I came up for air again reluctantly, turning my head so that my cheek rested against his, hearing him panting and feeling his warm breath on my neck. The lower parts of our bodies were still pressed together and he moved slightly, almost as if he were longing to rub himself against me, but trying not to. I pictured us in his room when we had been together before, lying on his bed in only our underwear, grinding against each other in an effort to pleasure ourselves without going as far as actually putting our hands on each other and I wondered if Edward was thinking something similar. The first time I had thought of something like this - seeing us naked on a rug on the beach together - I had been horrified, but now my cock was hard and aching and the feel of his only added to my excitement. I almost wished we were back at college already, alone in our room, although the fact that we weren't was probably a good thing. This was only our first proper deep kiss and it would be too easy to get carried away before we were ready.

"God, Edward," I whispered.

"I know."

His lips touched my cheek and then he slid his arms from around my neck slowly and pushed me back enough to put a slight gap between us. I released him reluctantly and stepped back further as a car pulled up nearby and some people got out. I pulled the truck door open quickly for Edward and then walked around the other side, grimacing as my erection throbbed in my pants. It was going to be pretty uncomfortable driving and I didn't start the engine for a few minutes, relieved when Edward began talking about the movie and the restaurant, obviously in an effort to take his mind of his own discomfort. Eventually I started the truck and we began to head back, the drive long enough that by the time we reached the house, our heated moment was far enough behind us that we could behave normally in front of my family.

I wondered how my parents would react if I told them I was in love with Edward. I didn't really know what their view on gay relationships was; as far as I could remember the subject had never come up. It wasn't something that people bothered hiding and gay marriage had been accepted by most tribes for decades although I had read that it taken some considerable time for that to be so, even after the law approved it. However, I couldn't imagine my loving parents objecting to something that made me happy, even it was a boy.

I frowned to myself as those thoughts went around my head persistently. I was sitting on the couch watching Edward playing a board game on the floor with my sisters like he was part of the family too, repeatedly pushing his glasses up his nose, his wild hair falling into his eyes every so often and I realised I was in love with him. It had crept up on me while I was busy trying to remember our pasts, disguised by my enjoyment of his company and the curious protective feeling I had towards him, but since New Year, just a few short days ago, my feelings had grown rapidly.

"Jacob." Mom's voice penetrated my thoughts and I turned to look at her, my cheeks warming. Her expression was quizzical. "You're miles away."

"Yeah, just thinking about...um...stuff," I said lamely, hoping she hadn't been watching me gaze at Edward. I pushed my thoughts aside as best I could and went to join in the game and make the most of the last few days with the girls before we had to leave.


	17. Chapter 17

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

After my sisters went to bed, Edward and I retired too. I was keen to read some more of Billy Black's journal and as I sat down on the bottom bunk next to Edward and opened the book, I could remember us reading it together after he had died. This time we started from the beginning, reading about Billy's teenage years, how he wished the wolf gene would emerge in him although it never did. He met and married Sarah and they had twins, Rachel and Rebecca, and then Jacob a few years later. It seemed strange reading about myself being born over a hundred years before.

As the journal continued, we read that Sarah died when I had been nine years old and Billy, who suffered diabetes, began having to spend most of his life in a wheelchair and developed heart disease. The girls left La Push as soon as they were old enough, wanting to escape the painful memories of losing their mother, while I stayed behind and cared for Dad. Eventually, when I must have been about fifteen, Billy reported that Sam Uley had 'phased', indicating the threat of vampires was imminent. Billy knew I would join Sam and he was both afraid for me and proud at the same time. Three other boys joined the pack first - Jared Cameron, Paul Lahote and Embry, who was half Makah and suspected to have been Sam's half brother, which created friction in the new pack.

"Do you remember the other boys?" Edward asked.

"Yes, especially Paul. I fought with him a few times, he was always angry. He was the one who was most reluctant to accept me being with you."

"Like Rosalie."

I looked at him.

"She was one of the Cullens. I can remember. She was married to Emmett. She hated you being at our house at first."

"She called me 'mutt' or 'doggy'," I smirked. "Emmett was the big guy, right? I saw him a while back; when I had the dream or vision or whatever about us being in the hospital when Billy was sick. You were getting sick too because you hadn't fed and he brought us bottles of cherry coke. Yours had..."

"...blood in it."

"He was like the big brother," I mused. "He gave me some advice once."

_"Emmett_ did? Really?" Edward's eyebrows rose. "He was a like a kid most of the time."

"I came over to see you and you were out hunting, avoiding me. We kissed and you freaked out. Emmett explained you were brought up in a time where kissing a boy would have been frowned on and when we talked later, you said you worried that your parents would have been watching over you and feeling ashamed."

"My real parents..."

"Your name was Masen before you were changed!" I exclaimed. "Edward Anthony Masen. So it sounds like you should be able to trace yourself back to the original you."

"Shit," Edward muttered. "We really need to go see the Cullens, don't we?"

"They can probably tell us a lot more, like Embry and Leah did."

"I guess I'm just nervous about seeing them. Real vampires...I mean, I _know_ this is all true and I'm not dreaming, but it seems a little too real. Look at everything that happened so far. We were enemies who fell in love, who died tragically and came back in another life. Fate meant us to find each other and have another chance at being together. The first time around you Imprinted on me, which made your feelings go in a direction they wouldn't have otherwise..."

"...and the second time I fall for you when I never would have considered being with you; being with a boy," I blurted and immediately felt my face heating up as I realised what I'd said. Edward's eyes widened as they met mine and his lips twitched up at the corners.

"It's not long ago that you asked if I have feelings for you," he murmured. "I thought you wouldn't like the answer."

"It made me nervous," I admitted. "But now...I never felt like this about anybody, Edward. It crept up on me; just spending so much time with you, remembering how we were together, suddenly you're the most important person in my life all over again."

"I love you," Edward whispered.

His colour rose, but he didn't break the eye contact and the look in his eyes mirrored his words. I leaned closer and brushed my lips over his, then drew back again reluctantly. It would be just like my Mom to stick her head around the door to ask if we wanted snacks before bed.

"Where were we?" I wondered, unable to remember the conversation as my head filled with thoughts of us sitting on one of the beds in our room at college, me leaning over to kiss him like I had just now, but with no threat of interruption. We slid our arms around each other and fell back onto the mattress, kissing heatedly, our bodies moulded to each other, erections rubbing together through layers of fabric. My cock began to grow and I changed position quickly to disguise it.

"Jacob?"

"Uh...sorry..."

He grinned. "I was explaining that the parallels between this life and the previous one is what's worrying me about meeting the Cullens. Back then I was one of them; what if fate intends for me to be one of them again? What if they want to change me?" He bit his lip.

"I don't think that's what's intended," I said at once. "I mean, in theory I carry the shifter gene, but it hasn't come out and it doesn't look like it will. There's no reason for it to, so if that's different, it follows that you won't change either."

"Well, I hope so. It would ruin things..."

"No, it wouldn't. Nothing's going to come between us," I stated firmly.

"What about when we get back to college?"

"We won't have to worry about my sisters or anyone charging in the room."

"That's not what I meant. You won't want your friends knowing...people already assume I'm gay, even though I haven't actually said anything. I've heard them talking."

"Well, my friends here already saw us. I don't want to be the source of gossip and have to explain things to Mark and Blair and those other guys in my classes, but I guess they'll find out at some point. I'm not sure how I feel about it; I don't see myself as gay or otherwise, I just see myself with you, so...I mean, we already hang out together all the time. I'm not really saying what I mean," I sighed. "I suppose it's not really that important what people think."

"Well, there's no need to shout it from the rooftops," Edward smiled. "We don't have to tell anybody anything."

I nodded. I wasn't sure I wanted to suddenly become the latest scandal at college and I already knew a few of the guys in my classes weren't very accepting of same-sex relationships. Everything was so new that I was only just realising how I felt about Edward. Hearing him say he loved me had delighted me, but I was still nervous about everything. Kissing him aroused me, but where did we go from there? I didn't know what I was doing and he had told me he'd never done anything either so it was unlikely he would want to move things faster than I wanted to go.

Another memory flashed into my head; a hotel room, the pair of us naked, about to make love for the first time, my hand holding his, rings glinting on the third finger of our left hands. I knew we had been married from what I had written in the journal, but our wedding night had been our first time. Neither of us had any experience, but I had some idea from looking things up on the internet. Embry had caught me reading about gay sex at work.

I reddened more than ever and looked down at the book on my lap. Edward chuckled softly and I wondered if he was thinking about it too. Thank God he couldn't read my mind the way he had been able to before. I hadn't known that, but now I remembered having to block my thoughts from him sometimes so that he wouldn't know what was going on in my head. Things seemed to be coming back to me faster and faster and now I couldn't wait to go looking for the Cullens. They were apparently the last piece of the jigsaw puzzle, along with discovering Edward's history leading him back to the original Edward Masen.

"I do want to go and find them," Edward said.

"Who?"

"The Cullens."

"That's pretty spooky, I was just thinking about them." I shivered. "You don't read minds, do you?"

"No," he grinned. "I did before. I did my best to keep out of your head most of the time; I felt like it was wrong to spy unless you asked me to, but sometimes I just couldn't help it." He giggled loudly.

"Well, I'm sure you got plenty of laughs after you waded through the crap that filled my head. So, you want to go to their house?"

"Yes," he said firmly. "If we go back to college without looking for them, I'll regret it."

We made plans to go back to Forks and look for the Cullens' house Friday morning and as soon as we had taken Claire and Chloe to school, we set off. I had told my parents we were going looking for more evidence of my past and although I thought I should probably tell them about Edward's involvement sooner rather than later, he discouraged me for the time being. He worried that they wouldn't like the idea of me being with him and would fear I was being led astray by him and by the past. I knew they wouldn't think that at all and was fairly sure they would accept Edward as being who I wanted, but I agreed not to tell them yet. I didn't want him to be uncomfortable the last couple of days in our house and there was also the question that Mom and Dad might not be so happy about Edward sharing my room.

As I drove down to Forks, Edward was quiet and obviously nervous and by the time we had passed the town and were looking for the long drive that led to the house, his worry had rubbed off on me too. As much as I tried to tell myself it was no different from finding Embry and Leah, the idea that we were about to come face to face with what were essentially the living dead began to scare me and I slowed the truck as we approached the end of the drive.

"Are you sure about this?" I asked Edward.

He glanced at me. "Yes. Are you?"

"Yeah."

I turned the truck onto the driveway and we proceeded slowly through the trees. The branches met far above us, creating a dark green canopy that shut out a lot of the light and I glanced left and right as I drove, almost expecting to see white faces watching us from the forest, but there was nothing. We rounded a bend and saw the house a little way ahead - an elaborate building that looked like it was built mostly of wood and glass. It looked almost new, as if recently rebuilt or restored. Several newish, good quality cars were parked to one side and I halted the truck a little distance behind them and switched off the engine. My window was down a few inches despite the cold and I immediately noticed the complete silence around us. In a forest this size you would expect at least rustling and pattering, maybe the sound of birds screeching, but there was no sound at all; it was as silent as the grave. I shivered and Edward reached out and slid his hand into mine.

"We shouldn't be scared; they were my family," he said. "_Our_ family."

"I know; silly, huh?" I gave his hand a squeeze and shoved the truck door open.

We walked slowly to the steps that led up to the front of the house and I felt the hair on the back of my neck rise. I felt as if we were being watched and I looked up at the windows, but saw no one. I glanced over my shoulder and noticed Edward doing the same. He laughed nervously and then trotted up the steps ahead of me and punched the doorbell, then backed away a few steps. No one answered; after a couple minutes Edward rang the bell again and I stepped to one side and peered through the glass beside the door, but there was no sign of life, although I still had the feeling that somebody was watching from somewhere close by.

"They're not home," Edward stated needlessly. "Damn."

He turned and descended the steps, walked along the front of the house and looked in one of the windows. I followed and we circled the house, peeking in very so often. I felt more and more as if we weren't alone and was convinced that the watcher wouldn't be impressed by us trespassing and spying. I was relieved when we reached the truck again and climbed in.

"Maybe they're out hunting," I said.

"Maybe. I kept feeling like we were being watched."

"Me too."

"What if they've seen us and they're just waiting for us to go away? They could be just as uneasy about this as us. I mean, how can they explain us turning up again when they saw us die?" Edward wondered.

"I guess. What do you want to do?"

"I suppose we'll just have to go away and try another time."

Edward slumped back in the seat, clearly disappointed and my own heart sank. It would probably be Spring Break before we could return, assuming Edward wouldn't go back to Chicago then to see his parents. Then again, now I had the truck we could always drive over one weekend. I started the engine and drove in a tight circle before heading down the drive again, both of us continuing to gaze around in the hopes that someone would appear. Halfway to the main road someone did appear, very suddenly.

There was no sign of a figure in the trees, but then a woman was right in front of us, standing with feet apart, hands on hips and I had to slam the brakes on to avoid running into her. Thankfully I had only been going slowly.

"Holy shit!" Edward gasped.

My hands tightened on the steering wheel as I looked at the woman who glared back at us. She was very pale, blonde and with curious golden eyes - eyes like those I remembered Edward having. I knew she wasn't one of the Cullens, but I recognised her somehow and she clearly recognised me. The look in her strange eyes was sheer hatred.

"Fuck! Who is that?" I hissed.

She was walking towards us, slowly and deliberately and I quickly started the truck again, realising I had stalled the engine. My foot slipped on the gas pedal and we lurched forwards, but then stopped almost immediately, the wheels spinning in the gravel as the blonde's hands landed on the hood and held the truck in place.

"Oh, God," Edward whispered. "It's...Tanya Denali."

_"You!"_ The woman spat, her eyes still fixed on me, now black rather than gold.

"She was one of those who killed me," I said under my breath.

_"You killed my sister!"_ she screeched. "But you should be dead. How are you here?" She thumped one fist onto the truck hood and dented it. I flinched as if she had hit me.

"W-well...you k-killed me...so I guess we're even," I stammered.

_'Please let this be one of my visions,' _I thought, but I knew it wasn't. I wasn't remembering this; it was new; it was real. A chill ran down my spine and I automatically reached out to grab Edward's hand. He was shaking and his nails dug into my palm as he held onto me.

Suddenly, Tanya stepped away from the truck and her hands dropped to her sides. Her fierce expression relaxed and she seemed to shake herself, running a hand through her hair and pursing up her lips.

"Fuck you, Jasper!" she hissed as if to herself. "Back off!"

I looked left and right, searching for Jasper Cullen, remembering now that he had an ability whereby he could control emotions. He must be nearby controlling Tanya's, but I couldn't see him. He apparently saw us however, and didn't want to make himself known.

"Jasper," Edward whispered.

We sat motionless for a long moment. My heart pounded so loudly I was sure Edward must have been able to hear it and I had to pull my hand free of his to wipe it on my jeans. As we watched, Tanya Denali slowly stepped off the drive into the trees, shot us another evil glare and then vanished as quickly as she had appeared.

"Fuck," I muttered.

I rubbed a hand over my face, wiping away a film of moisture which had sprung from my pores in my fright. To my horror, Edward suddenly pushed open his door and slid out of the truck.

"What the hell are you doing?" I protested. He ignored me.

"Jasper?"

"Jeez, Edward, get back in here!"

"He has to be here somewhere. He stopped her from hurting us, which means he knows who we are," Edward reasoned, walking down the drive a little way, looking left and right. "Jasper! It's me, Edward!"

"Christ," I breathed and opened my own door, resigned. I walked to his side, my heart still racing. "Maybe this isn't such a good idea. They might not want us here."

"Then why did he help us?"

"I don't know, he probably didn't want to have to dispose of our bodies," I grimaced. "If he wanted to see us, he'd come out, wouldn't he?"

Edward sighed heavily. "I guess. I just thought...he was my brother for decades. We were really close; he must have been affected by me dying, so why...?"

"He might be just as shaken up by seeing us as we were when we realised what was happening to us," I said. "Maybe we should leave it for now and come back another time. I was thinking we could drive over one weekend, now I've got the truck."

"Ok." He took another last look around him and I did the same, but there was no sign of Tanya now or anyone else. The forest was as still and silent as when we arrived and I no longer had the feeling of being watched.

Minutes later we were back on the road to Forks and I didn't stop until we arrived home. The house was empty, both my parents now back at work although Mom worked short hours and would be home before the girls finished school. I took the opportunity to call Embry and tell him what happened.

"Did you know Tanya Denali was here?" I asked him after I had told him about the fright she had given us.

"No, although we had heard that Emmett and Jasper had married again. She must be with one of them."

"She's their cousin!" I exclaimed.

"The last time I checked, marriage between cousins was legal," Embry chuckled. "But they're not actually related, are they?"

"No, I suppose not. I'm guessing she must be with Jasper then. I hope Emmett didn't take up with the other sister; I can't remember her name, but she was almost as bad as Kate."

"Irina," Edward said.

"What are you going to do?" Embry asked.

"Well, we have to go back to Seattle tomorrow, but we'll come back in a few weeks," I said. "I was wondering...I don't know if you can or not, but do you ever speak to Carlisle?"

"Not really. Leah has once or twice. I guess she could call him and..."

"Babe, what are you volunteering me for?" I heard Leah demanding loudly in the background.

"Jacob and Edward came across one of the Cullens today," Embry said. "Well, Tanya Denali, who is apparently with them. She almost attacked..."

"Fuck!" Leah exclaimed. "I think we need to speak to Carlisle."

"That's what I was going to ask. You heard that?" Embry directed to me.

"Yes."

"I'll call you to let you know what happens."

"Thanks, Embry."

I glanced at Edward and he smiled faintly, clearly having gathered the gist of what was being said. I chatted to my old friend a little longer and he promised to call me in a few days' time.

"Leah's going to talk to Carlisle." I filled in the gaps after I had hung up. "Maybe Jasper will already have told him about us."

"I still don't understand why he didn't come out and speak to us," Edward said. "I can't imagine him just being too shocked to."

"Well, I guess we'll find out soon enough," I told him. "We're just going to have to wait a bit longer."


	18. Chapter 18

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

We didn't get the opportunity to talk about the Cullens again that evening and the following morning, we were packing and checking everything ready to leave for Seattle, Claire and Chloe running around and getting in the way and asking why we couldn't go to college in PA instead because we were too far away and they would miss Edward. I glanced at him and smiled at this news; even though he was hurt by his parents' abandonment over Christmas, I was glad things had turned out the way they did otherwise _I _would have missed him. I couldn't imagine being apart from him for three weeks; it would be agonising.

I had hoped that my parents would be too busy fussing around us to notice the dent in the hood of my truck, but Dad had eyes like a hawk and spotted it immediately we went outside. I made up something about a piece of a branch falling from a tree near La Push and hitting it, but it sounded lame even to me. I planned to get it fixed as soon as I could find a shop near the college and he let it go. Mom gave us a large care package to take back with us, containing a stack of sandwiches and cake for the journey and a large supply of packets and jars containing food items we probably wouldn't think of buying.

Finally it was time to leave and Edward was now treated to one of Dad's bear hugs and Mom's cuddle, before the twins launched themselves at him and almost knocked him off of his feet. Then we were in the truck reversing out onto the road while everybody waved and Mom cried.

"Your family are amazing," Edward said for about the tenth time.

"They're yours too, now," I reminded him and he smiled, but then sighed.

"I wish we'd been able to see the Cullens. But now I'm not so sure about it. I mean, what's Tanya doing here? Why would they even want her here after everything? I wouldn't have thought they'd be so keen to welcome her after she and Irina were responsible for your death."

"They wouldn't have been if I hadn't done what I did," I pointed out thoughtfully. "I wanted to die; I wanted to be with you. I saw Kate and I broke through the window and tore her head off of her body; it could just as easily have been one of the other two I killed, although I went for her because she hurt us both before with some kind of electric shock power. I seem to remember she had a connection to the Volturi too, although I can't really remember."

Edward shook his head. "I can't either."

"But anyway, when I killed her the others couldn't just sit there and watch and not retaliate or defend themselves."

"You're not mad that she scared us?" he asked in surprise. "That it looks like she could be married to one of my brothers?"

"Not really, but I'm kind of wary about running into her again unless Jasper's controlling her."

"That's another thing I don't get. Jasper was with Alice and then Alexa, both of whom were gentle, loving creatures, so why the hell would he want Tanya? She's about as different from them as you can get."

"Maybe she's not with him or maybe she's different with him; we can't know that until Leah talks to Carlisle or until we do. I mean, she was _there_ and Embry said Jasper and Emmett were married again, but we're just assuming she's with Jasper because he stopped Tanya doing anything. Ninety years is a long time for them to move on from things though."

"Yes, I suppose." Edward let out another sigh. "I didn't want to know before; I didn't want to have all of this - what we are, or were - confirmed and now, I hate that we have to wait longer to find out."

"Well, maybe Embry will call in a few days. We might even be able to talk to Carlisle ourselves."

"Maybe he won't want to talk to us, like Jasper didn't," Edward said despondently. "Like my own parents. Sorry; I'm just down because for the last three weeks I've felt like I was part of a real family and it seems like both of my own families don't want to know me."

I felt sorry for him and tried to think of something to change the subject, but he did that himself by beginning to talk about college and the rest of the journey passed without our pasts and the Cullens coming up again, although they didn't leave my mind and I doubted Edward had put them out of his.

When we reached the student accommodation, I parked the truck in one of the spaces to the side of the building and Edward stayed with the vehicle for a few minutes to keep an eye on the things in the back while I went in with the two cases. I dumped them quickly in the room and locked the door again, just as Mark appeared from down the corridor.

"Hey, Jake, happy New Year!"

"Happy New Year."

"Good Christmas?"

"The best," I grinned. "I got a truck."

"Awesome. You'll be the nominated driver on the weekends from now on then."

"Yeah, thanks." I headed outside again and he followed, his eyes immediately landing on Edward as we stepped out of the door.

"What's Masen doing with you?"

"He stayed with my family over the holidays, his parents had to go away," I said.

"Even so, that's going a bit beyond the call of duty, isn't it?"

"He's my friend."

"I guess. What the hell did he do to himself? He looks normal."

"Shut up, will you?" I hissed as we approached the truck.

Mark admired it for a moment and then between the three of us, we gathered up the remaining boxes and bags and took them indoors. Mark hung around as Edward and I put our things away, helping himself to a chunk of Mom's chocolate cake and talking about his own Christmas. Blair wasn't due back until late that evening so I didn't get to be alone with Edward for the rest of the day. Edward had joined in the conversation for a while, but eventually let Mark and me carry on and switched on his laptop to check his emails and do some writing. After Mark had gone he reported that his mother had emailed him, telling him about some of the things she and his father had done over the break and adding a casual sorry that they hadn't been able to take him too.

"You know what? I'm _glad_ they took off without me," he said, closing the laptop and putting it away. "If I'd gone home it would have been stiff dinners where nobody talks, they would have ignored me most of the time anyway and I'd have spent most of the holidays in my room writing or playing the piano. I had an amazing time with you."

"I did too," I said.

I hesitated a moment and then went to sit beside him on his bed. He was leaning back against the pillows with his knees pulled up and I adopted the same position, my shoulder touching his and the side of my left leg resting against his right one. We sat there in silence, unmoving, until suddenly he leaned in and brushed his lips against my cheek. My heart was already skipping rapidly in my chest and now it raced as I turned towards him. He was still only an inch or two away and my lips quickly found his. We exchanged gentle little kisses as we slowly stretched out, sliding down until our heads rested on the pillow and we faced each other and then I slid my hand to the back of Edward's neck, gripping him firmly as I deepened the kiss. Already breathless, I breathed through my nose, my lips crushing his as our tongues entwined, tasting each other, exploring, my blood thundering in my ears and at the same time rushing to my groin.

I had never been so quick to react to kissing Suzannah; Edward's lips seemed to set me alight and I quickly felt that it was having the same effect on him. His cock was hard against my thigh and the soft moans he released into my mouth made my own erection throb urgently. I resisted the urge to grind myself against him with difficulty and instead slid my hand under his shirt, spreading my fingers in the middle of his warm back as I remembered how he felt before - chilly under my touch, every part of him that I came into contact with bringing my skin out in goosebumps and making my spine tingle. His hands clutched at me, one fisted in my shirt and the other digging into the back of my shoulder, his tongue thrusting more urgently into my mouth as he began to dominate the kiss. I was surprised and I gave in to it in my own excitement, holding him tight as his body trembled against mine and then he broke the kiss and pressed his face into my neck, his skin hot and his breath coming in harsh gasps.

"Fuck...um..." He snorted nervously. "Sorry..."

I kissed his heated cheek, grimacing at the feel of the damp patch in my shorts around the head of my cock. Another couple of minutes and I would have come too and now as Edward slid away from me, my erection ached in protest. I adjusted my jeans uncomfortably as he got up and went into the bathroom, but when I heard the shower start running moments later, I realised I had a few minutes before he would emerge again. As embarrassing as it would be if he came back into the room and caught me jerking off, there was no way I was going to get rid of my hard-on otherwise and I was almost in pain. I quickly crossed the room to my own bed, unfastening my jeans and pulling my cock from my shorts before I had even lowered myself onto the mattress. I wrapped my hand around it eagerly, dragged my thumb over the head to capture the oozing pre-cum and spread it down my shaft. I closed my eyes and immediately I was imagining Edward was still with me. I hadn't gone quite this far in my thoughts yet, but now as I stroked myself I fantasised that it was his hand on me, his slim pale fingers rapidly sliding up and down my cock, squeezing the base and picking up speed as my orgasm approached. I was so close to begin with that it took barely a minute and I was coming in my hand - in Edward's hand - biting my lip hard to stop myself crying out my pleasure.

Panting for breath, I grabbed a handful of tissues from the box on the bed table and cleaned myself up, glancing anxiously at the bathroom door. The shower was still running and I heaved a sigh of relief as I tucked myself back into my pants and struggled to calm down, although the images in my head made that pretty difficult. I came harder than I could remember, thinking about Edward jerking me off. What would it be like when he really did touch me? I would probably disgrace myself in seconds.

Edward came out of the bathroom a few minutes later, wearing the same clothes as before, but without his shorts and immediately the thought of him sitting there commando made my pulse quicken again. It was as if finally being properly alone with him after so long with my family just the other side of the door had opened the floodgates and now all I could think about was looking at him, touching him, having him touch me. Or maybe I was just ready; everything had happened with lightning speed since that first kiss at New Year, but I loved him and I was beginning to want him physically; it felt right.

"Uh...sorry about...that." He glanced across the room at me, his face still red.

"It's ok; another minute, I would have joined you."

He grinned and lowered his eyes again.

"Edward..." I wanted him to look at me, despite his embarrassment and he lifted his gaze again slowly.

"Mmm?"

"I love you," I said softly.

His whole face seemed to light up and he smiled wider, his eyes sparkling. "I love you too."

We spent the rest of the evening in companionable silence. There was one small interruption when Blair arrived back at college and banged loudly on the door.

"Happy New Year, Lester!" he yelled.

"Happy New Year!" I shouted back.

"You coming out later? Party in some of the girls' rooms in the other block!" he called.

"No! Busy!"

"Boring!" was the response, but then he took himself off and we heard nothing further, except for some banging doors which woke us some hours later as various people returned to their rooms.

The first week at college was hectic. It was as if we had been let off lightly for the first semester and now there was a mountain of studying to wade through each day after classes and work was over. Somehow I managed to find time to get the truck fixed in the local campus shop, but other than that there was barely time to think. I had dinner with Edward every day and we studied together in the evenings, but we had no proper time to just be with each other. So far we hadn't heard anything from Embry and hadn't gotten around to reading any more of the journal either. I longed for the weekend and hoped to at least be able to go on a date with Edward. I intended to ask him to go to a proper restaurant for dinner Saturday night, until I was invited to another party instead and unfortunately it wasn't one I could decline. It was my nineteenth birthday, which I had almost forgotten about, but Mark and Blair had planned a party for me to take place in their room, the one next door and another across the corridor and had invited a whole bunch of people from our class as well as a horde of girls I barely knew. I wasn't looking forward to it and would much rather have celebrated alone with Edward.

"You are coming with me, right?" I said as I put on a clean shirt. I left a few buttons unfastened so that the necklace Edward gave me for Christmas was visible and I rolled the sleeves up.

"You really want me to?" He looked as reluctant as I felt.

"Please?"

"Ok." He changed his shirt too, putting on the dark green one which enhanced the colour of his eyes. "But I have something to give you first."

He turned away and pulled a wrapped parcel out from beneath his pillow. When he had the opportunity to get me a gift, I couldn't say.

"Edward, you didn't have to..." I began.

"Of course I had to. It's not much, but I thought it might be a good idea."

I tore off the paper and found a leather-bound journal similar in style to Billy's.

"I thought maybe you could write about our current lives," Edward continued.

"Thank you, it's a great idea!" I said. I hadn't thought about keeping a record of what happened to us and it made sense. Who knew how things would progress in the future and our lives were so unusual that it was certainly worth detailing them. "I'll start writing in it tomorrow. There's so much to say already, going back to my first searching dream."

Minutes later, we headed to Mark and Blair's room, rather reluctantly. It was exactly as I expected - the doors of three rooms standing open with noise echoing down the corridor. Music boomed from the room next to theirs, people wandered in and out, fooling about and when I arrived, no one wasted any time in grabbing me, the girls in particular, to wish me many happy returns. Edward kept his distance and I noticed he looked distinctly uncomfortable as the Cherokee girl whose name I still didn't know, planted a kiss on my cheek. I took a step back quickly.

"Maybe we could celebrate some more tomorrow, just us," she suggested.

"Sorry, I'm busy," I said.

"Mark says you're looking for a girl."

"He got it wrong; I'm with someone."

"Oh! But I thought...no one's ever seen you with a girlfriend." She looked disappointed.

"Well, I guess I've been keeping my private life private so far," I said awkwardly and turned away from her. I hadn't even been at the party for five minutes and already I felt under pressure. I wasn't sure how I should behave - laugh and joke and fob people off; respond coolly and vaguely like I had with her or just blurt out, 'I'm gay' and shock them all.

"Hey, happy birthday!" Blair appeared, clapping me on the shoulder. "You didn't really just say no to Della, did you?"

"You mean the...Cherokee girl?"

"You are hopeless, man, what's wrong with you? There must be five or six girls here who've been panting after you since we first started college and you never even notice."

"You know I just got over a break up back then," I said.

"Yeah, but what's your excuse now? Come on, have some fun."

"I'm not into just fooling around with some random person."

"So date somebody. How about the blonde there." He pointed to another girl who was looking at me and smiling. "She's called Candace."

"Why don't you date her, Blair?" I sighed. "She's not my type."

"Yeah, you once said you like Native girls. Della is _stunning _and she's really into you."

I was saved from the conversation by one of my class mates, but the evening continued with similar situations recurring every so often - either guys trying to set me up with a girl, or girls wanting to give me birthday kisses. I grew progressively more tense and uncomfortable and Edward, who kept his distance, began to look miserable as the night wore on. I became more and more inclined to just walk away or alternatively out myself despite Edward and me having discussed keeping things to ourselves for the moment. I hated that he was unhappy and was more concerned about that than my own discomfort.

"Here, have a beer and loosen up," Mark said suddenly, passing me a bottle.

"Where'd you get these?"

"Friend of Blair's. Can't have a birthday party without beer. What's wrong with Edward? He looks like someone died."

"I guess he feels out of place," I said. "So do I actually. I appreciate this, I do, but I'm not big on parties."

"You need to get that beer down you and have some cake," he responded.

"Cake?"

"Uh huh. Candace!"

He left me and went over to the blonde. She disappeared a moment later and someone turned the music off and dimmed the lights. When the girl returned, she carried a plate holding a large cake in the shape of a football with a cluster of candles burning on the top. Della appeared at my side again as I blew out the candles and as I straightened up, she leaned towards me and kissed me on the lips. Startled, I drew back again and then Edward was beside me.

"He said he's seeing someone; can't you take no for an answer?" he demanded angrily.

My jaw dropped and I gaped at him, as did Della, Mark and a few others who were close by. It seemed so out of character for him, but I could understand him being pissed. Now his face flamed and he backed towards the door.

"What the fuck is his problem?" Mark asked me. "Does he want you for himself or something?"

"Just...put the music back on, I'll talk to him," I said.

My heart was racing and my stomach knotted as I went to Edward where he stood in the doorway. I was well aware that a few people were watching me to see what I would do, but what was more important? Them and my potential embarrassment, or Edward, who looked mortified and upset. I halted in front of him.

"What was that?" I asked, quietly enough not to be heard by anybody else.

"I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have said that," he groaned. "I was...um...I..."

"Jealous?" I finished.

He nodded miserably.

"It's ok."

"It's not, I embarrassed you."

"I'm fine. You know you have nothing to worry about, right? My life is with you."

"I know."

"Come back in."

"I think it's better if I go back to the room."

"Don't, please," I protested. "I didn't even want to come to the damned party, but they went to the effort for me..."

"People are looking," Edward sighed.

"Let them look." I edged closer so that my mouth was a couple inches from his ear. "I love you. Maybe I didn't want people to know about this just yet, but they will eventually."

"Don't," he protested. "Don't just out yourself in front of everybody."

"So you'd rather the girls keep bugging me and my friends carry on trying to fix me up? And probably start insulting you too?"

"No, but you should think about it properly. People will talk about you; not everybody's just going to say it's cool."

I remembered my thoughts on the subject previously - some of the guys in my classes would probably have plenty to say when they found out about Edward, but I had no intention of keeping him a secret for four years, or even one year. I was in love with him and I realised I didn't want to have to hide it, even if I did have to deal with a few narrow-minded jerks afterwards. It couldn't possibly be as bad as having to deal with two warring families who were eventually forced to acknowledge us because of my Imprint.

"Kiss me," I murmured.

"No, Jacob..."

"Just on the cheek."

"Mark's looking."

"Edward, I'm only gonna have to tell him anyway." My nose brushed his ear. "We might as well just get it over with and then at least the rest of the night won't be all about me fighting off the vultures."

Edward giggled and his breath fanned my cheek. Then I felt his lips touch my jaw, so lightly it was like the brush of a feather. I put my hand on his arm and squeezed before I realised Della had appeared next to me.

"Why didn't you just say?" she asked.

"I'm sorry."

"It's ok; at least now I know why." Much to my surprise she gave us both a smile. "Are you going to have some cake?"

"Yeah, thanks."

Nobody else said anything, at least until later on when Edward had gone back to our room to use the bathroom. Then Blair came to speak to me.

"You and Edward?" he said.

"Yeah."

"Since when?"

"Only a couple of weeks, but I guess it's been on the cards for a while."

"But you had a girlfriend!"

I just shrugged. "I hadn't made up my mind."

"So he's an experiment?"

"No, he's not; we're together. Does that bother you?"

"It surprises me."

"You and Mark aren't going to suddenly stop hanging out with me, are you?" I said jokingly.

"Don't be stupid. Some of the guys in our classes will probably have more to say when this lot start gossiping."

"Yeah, well, it had to come out sooner or later."

"You mean _you_ had to come out," Blair said and snorted with laughter at his own joke. "Where is he, anyway? Masen."

"He went back to the room."

I stayed talking to him and Mark a little longer and neither of them or anyone else said anything unpleasant to me. I doubted that would be the case with everybody, but it had gone better than I expected. I excused myself then and got back to my room to find Edward still there sitting on his bed. He got up as I closed the door.

"Are you ok?" I asked.

"Yes, I just thought you might want to talk to your friends. How were they?"

"Fine. Surprised."

"Are you sure you're not pissed about me going off like that?"

"You mean coming over all possessive?" I grinned. "I'm hoping I'm going to see that side of you again."

"It's not really me. Well, I didn't think it was," he smirked, moving closer. "But I never felt like this before."

He lifted his hands to my face and gave me a light kiss. After a moment his tongue slid along the join of my lips, teasing them apart until he could thrust into my mouth. His unexpected forwardness instantly excited me and I put my hands on his waist and held him against me, immediately feeling his erection as it found mine through several layers of clothing. My pulse raced and we clung to each other, kissing heatedly as we shuffled sideways to my bed. I knew something was going to happen and I broke the kiss, panting for breath and trying to stop thinking about the images of us together previously which filled my head and concentrate only on the present.


	19. Chapter 19

CHAPTER NINETEEN

The backs of my legs bumped the bed and I sat down, shuffled backwards and leaned on the wall, Edward kneeling astride my thighs. His hands rested on my chest, his fingertips inside my shirt and I knew he must be able to feel how fast my heart was beating. Tentatively I unfastened the first button of his shirt and then the next one down. My knuckles brushed the sprinkling of hair on his chest and I released the next button and slid my hand inside. Edward groaned and squirmed on my lap, edging forwards until the base of his cock rested against the upper half of mine and I shivered with want. My balls ached and I longed to be released from my jeans and feel his hands on me. I freed the last couple of buttons and pushed the shirt off of his shoulders, my eyes raking over his chest. He pulled his arms free of the garment and tossed it aside, then turned his attention to my shirt and began to unfasten it.

"Edward...you're beautiful," I murmured, running my hands lightly over his shoulders and chest. I had first thought that right before Christmas when he had just had the dye taken out of his hair and the thought had scared me. Now it excited me and I wanted him to know what I thought of him. My thumb brushed one of his nipples and I paused and experimentally pinched it between finger and thumb. He whimpered and shuddered and the nub hardened rapidly.

"God, don't," he groaned.

"You don't like that?" I stilled my hand, realising that I really didn't know what I was doing. I could only go on the things we had liked to do with each other previously.

"No, I do...too much. You're gonna make me come," he said so quietly I could barely hear the words above my own fast breaths.

"Well, that's a reason not to stop." I tweaked both nipples together and he moaned again, his hands shaking as they fumbled my shirt buttons undone. I took my hands off him reluctantly to wriggle out of the shirt and looked up into his eyes. The pupils were huge, his cheeks flushed with arousal and I bit my lip when his fingers trailed down over my abs to the button of my jeans.

"Is this ok?" he whispered.

He seemed as anxious not to do something wrong as I was. I just nodded and kept my eyes on his face while he lowered his to see what he was doing. I felt the button at the top of my jeans pop loose and then the zipper worked its way down a little without assistance, forced open by my erection straining to get free. I dropped my eyes to where it was pushing against my shorts, pre-cum seeping through the fabric and I held my breath as Edward slowly lowered the zipper the rest of the way and let his fingers stroke up the length of my shaft hesitantly. It twitched eagerly and my balls tightened. I was so close already and I knew I should be making some effort to touch him too, but I found I couldn't move. I just sat there with my hands resting on his thighs, watching as he rubbed his thumb over the head of my cock and then pulled it free of my shorts and curled his long slim fingers around it. I stared at it protruding from his fist, his skin pale against the caramel colour of mine and the darker almost purple head. Slowly his hand tightened and slid upwards, his palm sweeping over the tip to collect the pre-cum there to spread down the shaft the same way I did myself.

"Fuck!" I hissed under my breath. I knew I was going to embarrass myself in a few more seconds; my orgasm was building much faster than I wanted and I struggled to control myself, finally moving my hands to Edward's belt and unbuckling it quickly, hoping concentrating more on him would delay things.

"Uh...wait...um..." he protested, stilling my hands with his free one. "Are you sure...?"

"Let me," I answered. "I want to touch you."

He took his hand away from mine and continued stroking me, tormentingly slowly, while I unfastened his pants and released his cock, which had already slid out of the opening in his shorts. He was cut, which delighted me, even though ninety percent of the population were and I should have expected it. He was the same way I remembered, just with more colour. The head of his cock was wet and leaking and it pulsed urgently as I took it in my hand. I lubricated my palm with his fluid and slid my hand down his length, my eyes darting between my hand holding his cock, to his hand holding mine. It was the most erotic moment I could have imagined and the sound of Edward's moans and the feel of him pushed me over the edge. I came hard, shooting my load through his fingers and onto my belly and before he had squeezed the last few drops from me, his cock was jerking in my hand, his cum spurting onto me and mingling with my own. He grunted and swore loudly, his body shaking and I wiped my hand on the bedding and grabbed a handful of tissues from the box on the bed table to wipe the puddle off of my abs. Edward made to slide away from me, but I stopped him, linking my arms loosely around his waist.

"Do you remember the first time we touched each other before?" I murmured.

"Yes, I remember." His lips curved up into a smile and he rested his arms around my neck. "We'd been fooling around with our clothes on for a couple of weeks. We slept together...or you slept and I just stayed there wallowing in...your warmth." His cheeks coloured more vividly. "I always thought you'd think it was creepy that I liked watching you sleep. One morning you came out of the shower, kissed me and asked if you could touch me and then I did the same for you; it was amazing."

"It's amazing now," I said. "We were so good together. The more I remember, the more I'm glad we got a second chance."

"Me too." Edward lowered his head to give me a light kiss and then pulled away more insistently, breaking free of my arms and standing up. "I'm going to clean up."

"Ok."

I stayed where I was, tucking myself back into my pants and waiting for him to come out of the bathroom. When he emerged a few minutes later in pyjama pants and a t-shirt, I made use of the bathroom myself and put on a clean pair of shorts. Edward had got into bed when I came out and I was disappointed that he had gone back to his own, although I imagined him thinking it too presumptuous to have got into mine, even if he wanted to. I switched the light off and got into my own bed, my mouth dry and my heart racing again.

"Edward..."

"Yes?" His voice came quietly out of the darkness.

"Do you want to sleep with me?"

I held my breath as I waited for his response. He didn't answer, but I heard the rustle of bed covers, the creak of his bed and then his bare feet making their way towards me. His hand landed on the bed in front of me, feeling for the edge of the comforter and then he slowly climbed in beside me and stretched out. He had his back to me, I realised and I slid an arm around him and edged closer. It wasn't the first time we had shared a bed, but before one of us had been comforting the other; now I wanted to sleep with him; to be close to him; to wake with him in my arms. My heart hammered against his back as I held him and I could feel his heartbeat, just as fast, under my hand. I brushed my lips against the back of his neck and he sighed softly.

"I love you, Edward," I whispered.

"I love you too."

When I opened my eyes again it was daylight and neither of us had moved all night. I still lay against Edward's back, my arm around his waist and my face in his neck, but there was one difference. My cock was achingly hard and pressed against his butt and I could feel his erection touching my wrist as it tented his pants. It was my first instinct to back away from him quickly and hope he was still asleep. My face reddened and I held my breath for a few seconds until I woke fully and remembered what we had done before we fell asleep. Then I let my breath out again slowly and stayed where I was, smiling to myself happily.

"You're awake," Edward murmured.

"Mmm. You always knew when I woke up, even if I didn't move or breathe differently."

"Your heartbeat changed pace, I could hear it," he said. "Now I can just feel it."

I kissed his ear. "I like waking up with you."

"I can tell." His face flushed and the corner of his mouth twitched upwards.

I moved my hand slightly, stroking my palm over his stomach, feeling the muscles jump under my touch and then he grasped my hand suddenly and guided it lower, under the waistband of his pants until it rested over his cock. I gasped as my fingers closed around him and my own erection twitched against him. He took his hand away from mine and I just held him for a moment, feeling the slight quiver of his shaft before I began to stroke it slowly, pausing to lower his pants further to stop them catching on my wrist and then continuing, rubbing my thumb over the head of his cock at the end of each upstroke and squeezing harder at the base, giving him the same treatment I would give myself. My own hard-on throbbed impatiently against him and I did my best to ignore it and focus on the pleasure I was giving him.

Edward squirmed under my touch, arching his neck back and resting his head on my shoulder, his lower body beginning to buck slightly as he thrust himself eagerly into my fist, his butt repeatedly bumping against my cock and giving me some much needed friction. His soft moans and grunts only added to my excitement and I panted into his neck as I moved my hand faster. Another minute and he was coming, his warm fluid coating my hand and dripping onto the sheet in front of him. I wiped my hand on the bedding, guessing we were going to have to do laundry later that day anyway. Edward lay trembling and gasping in my arms for a moment and then turned over slowly to face me. His lips brushed lightly over mine and then he was drawing my cock out of my shorts, pushing the garment low enough that he could cup my balls in his free hand while he jerked me off.

_"F...uck..."_ I hissed, biting my lip and closing my eyes. I was already almost there and as his hands stroked and caressed and squeezed I could feel my orgasm rushing through me, my balls tightening and my cock jerking as I exploded.

"Damnit," I muttered. "Sorry." I could feel my face reddening as I opened my eyes and looked at him. He was grinning and he leaned closer and gave me another light kiss.

"We're going to need to clean up...again."

"You go first," I said breathlessly.

Edward drew away from me and slid out of the bed, a slight look of disappointment on his face and I puzzled over it as he went into the bathroom, wondering if he had hoped I would share the shower with him. I considered going to join him, but then decided to stay where I was. I might be wrong; I might just embarrass him; the developments between us were too new for me to feel confident in taking additional steps with him and instead I got up and stripped the sheets from the bed ready to be washed later. When Edward came out of the bathroom ten minutes later, I went to take my own shower alone.

We went to the campus diner for a late breakfast and while we made our way through mountains of sausage, bacon, tomatoes, hash browns and pancakes, I began writing in the journal Edward had given me. I started with a short paragraph about the first dream I had when I was a child and then the recurrence of it right before college, then my first meeting with Edward - how he looked familiar to me and how I knew his name before he told me. I continued with the memories I'd had since and Edward reminded me of details of some of the things that happened. By the time we finished the meal and our third cups of coffee, I had filled a dozen pages with my untidy scrawl and had reached the point where Edward changed his appearance right before Christmas.

_'He looked just like before...he was beautiful,' _I wrote, feeling my face heat up.

"Is that what you thought?" He was reading upside down from across the table and I grinned now and looked up. His green eyes were sparkling with amusement and his feelings were written all over his face. _He loved me._

"Yeah, that's what I thought." I put the pen down and took hold of his hand instead.

"You want more coffee?" Blair interrupted a moment later and I almost snatched my hand back, but stopped myself and held onto Edward's tighter.

"No, thanks," I answered.

"Some of the guys from our class are staring," Blair said quietly.

"So?"

"Well...I don't know, I didn't think you'd want people talking too much."

"They're going to talk anyway, after the party," I pointed out.

"I guess."

"Are we making _you _uncomfortable?" I wondered.

"Of course not," Blair said and flushed, looking the very picture of discomfort. "It'll just...take me a bit of getting used to."

"Jacob..." Edward pulled his hand free then and folded his arms. Blair took the opportunity to walk away.

"Sorry," I sighed. "I'm not sure how to behave. How do you want me to behave?"

"Just be yourself. It doesn't matter to me what people think or if we hold hands or whatever, but you don't have to challenge them if they find it awkward. Some of your friends are bound to be...surprised. You don't have to prove anything."

"Yeah..."

"Never knew Jake Lester was a fag; did you?" someone said loudly at that moment and I recognised the voice of one of my classmates, a guy that most people didn't like. I felt my ears turn red and I bit my lip. Now I did feel uncomfortable and I studiously avoided glancing around at the table where the guys sat.

"Dave, shut the fuck up," someone else said. "You can't say stuff like that."

"Says who? I for one don't want my ass being eyed up in the showers."

"Don't be stupid, looks like he's only interested in Masen."

"Yeah, Dave, you shouldn't worry, you're too ugly for anybody to be looking at you, whatever sex they are," another voice went on.

"Fuck off!" Dave growled.

"Well, shut your mouth, then. They're not doing us any harm; besides you can get kicked out of college for being openly homophobic..."

I relaxed again. I had expected to be discussed, but maybe not so obviously that I would hear it myself. However, from the conversation between the four guys it was clear that the majority of people weren't going to see me being with Edward as much of an issue.

"Are you ok?" he whispered now.

"Yeah. Dave's a jerk, everybody thinks so. Are you ready to go?"

Edward nodded and got up. I picked up the journal and we headed back to our room. We had a day free of study and I had no hockey or football match to attend. We decided to go out of town in the truck and just see where the road took us and a couple hours later we found ourselves in a small town called Cashmere in the foothills of the Cascade Mountains. I had never even heard of the place and we parked up and explored for a while, buying some stuffed bagels and drinks from a store for lunch and eating in a picnic spot by the river that ran through the town. The weather was still icy, but the sun was out and the whole place was peaceful and sleepy.

"We always had to avoid going out when it was sunny before," Edward mused. "I sparkled."

I grinned at him. "You didn't like it and I thought you looked amazing. That boat trip we went on...the sun came out and you had to hide your face and hands in my coat. Leah went off at some couple that glared at us."

"I wonder if we're going to hear from them soon," he said. "She was going to try and get in touch with Carlisle Cullen, wasn't she?"

"Yes, I thought I would have heard from Embry by now," I said. It had been a week and we had heard nothing. We had been so busy since returning to college, and so engrossed in each other, even if it was only in thought, that I hadn't spent much time thinking about Embry and Leah or the Cullens. "I could always call him," I added. "Maybe when we get back."

We stayed another hour in Cashmere, until we grew too cold to stay outside of the truck any longer and then began to make our way back to Seattle. Edward drove on the return journey and I sat with my feet up on the dash, the journal on my lap, bringing it up to date with the Christmas holidays and the start of our relationship.

_'I love him,' _I wrote. _'He feels the same. It's just like before, only without the Imprint directing how we feel.'_

"What are you smiling about?" Edward asked suddenly, glancing at me quickly before looking back at the road.

"Nothing. Just being a sap."

"What did you write?" he grinned.

"That we're...in love."

He grinned wider. "Sap. I wonder if some time in the future, say in another hundred years, someone will be reading that and remembering what it was like," Edward said.

"You mean like if we come back again?"

"Yes, I mean, it happened once, so who's to say it won't again? We might keep on coming back."

"Like cats with nine lives?" I chuckled. "I think it only happened this time because we died before we really got chance to live and the Imprint thing probably helped."

"We better make the most of it then."

My phone rang and I pulled it out of my pocket and closed the journal.

"It's Embry!" I exclaimed and answered quickly. "Hey, Embry. I was thinking about calling you later," I said.

The conversation was short and mostly I just listened, noticing Edward flicking impatient glances at me every so often until I ended the call. I didn't think I had said anything much that could have given him the gist of what Embry said and he was clearly eager to find out.

"Well?" he prompted now.

"He said Leah talked to Carlisle yesterday. Most of the Cullen family have been away visiting, which is why no one was home when we went there. The only ones who stayed behind were Jasper and his wife and..."

"Tanya?" Edward asked, frowning.

"Jasper's not married to Tanya. Embry didn't tell me much about that, only that Jasper and Emmett remarried, but Tanya's not with either of them."

"Oh!" Edward smiled in relief. "So who are they with?"

"I don't know, he didn't say. The Cullens are pretty shocked by us being here...Leah told Carlisle the basics of the story and suggested he get in touch with us himself. Of course Jasper told the others he'd seen us..."

"Why didn't he want to speak to me?"

"I don't know, Embry just gave me an outline of what Leah and Carlisle talked about. She gave him my phone number so I guess...now we wait for him to call me." I wiped my hands on my pants legs, suddenly realising how nervous I was. Embry hadn't said that Carlisle agreed to get in touch with us, only that Leah had asked him to.

"Do you think he'll call? Carlisle, I mean?" Edward asked.

"I don't know, I suppose he will. Surely he'll want to find out about us, out of curiosity if nothing else. The fact that you're here when you had no soul before, must seem impossible to them like it did to us at first."

"Maybe they'd just rather not know."

Edward turned his attention back to the road and I fell silent, noticing he chewed his lip worriedly, his hands gripping the steering wheel tight enough to turn his knuckles white. He looked as anxious as I felt and I didn't know why I suddenly felt such trepidation about talking to the vampire; it was hardly likely he would be unpleasant to us - more likely curious and fascinated the same way we were - but I knew Edward hoped that somehow the Cullens would be like a family to him again and I didn't want him to be disappointed.

It was late afternoon by the time we arrived back on campus and we picked up some snacks for dinner and ate in our room. No one other bothered us and we snuggled up on Edward's bed and watched TV for a while. I had forgotten to throw my sheets in the laundry before we went out and didn't want to bother wasting time doing it now. I would make my bed up later with the spare set, or alternatively sleep in Edward's instead. I grinned at the thought and he lifted his head from my shoulder and looked at me.

"What?"

"I never got around to doing the laundry."

"Well, I guess you can use the spare linen...or sleep here."

"Are you sure you don't still read minds?" I asked.

I raised my hand to touch his face and guided his lips to mine, caressing them gently, intending to keep the kiss warm and loving rather than passionate, but despite that I felt a slight movement in my pants. I groaned when I heard my phone ring on the other side of the room and was forced to pull away from him to answer it. The caller wasn't one of my contacts and I immediately wondered if it could be Carlisle. I quickly returned to Edward and sat down as I answered.

"Yes, hello?"

"Hello; am I speaking to Jacob...Lester?" a soft and familiar voice asked.

"Yes."

"This is Carlisle Cullen."

* * *

**A/N - A shout-out to some of my favourite authors - all these have written some great stories, so check them out:- ant1gon3, elfprincess8, Soundshield11, Lineia.**


	20. Chapter 20

CHAPTER TWENTY

"Carlisle," I said, sounding a little breathless. "Um...I'm glad you called."

"I'm sorry it wasn't sooner," he apologised. "Leah spoke to me yesterday. Most of us have been away visiting...friends."

"I hardly know what to say," I blurted. "This shouldn't be happening, but so many strange things have happened to me - us - the last few months that I guess anything is possible." I glanced at Edward, sitting next to me chewing his lip. "Do you mind if I put you on speakerphone? Edward is with me."

"Of course," Carlisle said at once and I pressed the button and held the phone in front of me. "Hello, Edward?"

"Hello," Edward replied in a small voice.

"I hoped we would have been doing this in person," I began.

"I would have preferred that too. Perhaps another time, when you're home for the holidays again. I have some questions for you," Carlisle said. "Obviously all of us are astounded that you two are here after what happened before. Reincarnation of you, Jacob, isn't so difficult to understand, but vampires..."

"...aren't supposed to come back," Edward put in.

"It's unprecedented," agreed Carlisle.

"We thought the only explanation is my Imprint," I said and continued with our thoughts on its power and the violent way in which we had both died. "Like I said before, given the situation anything seems to be possible. I guess fate gave us another go."

"Did you just meet by accident?" Carlisle asked.

"We're room mates at college - we knew nothing about it until Edward walked in the room and I realised I knew him. Then gradually we started remembering things and Embry and Leah filled in some gaps. They said you moved back to the house in Forks quite recently."

"Yes," Carlisle confirmed.

"Did Leah tell you where I came from?" I asked him. "I mean, my bloodline?"

"Only that you're a direct descendant of the original Black family. I thought it made sense that the connection would be so strong if that's the case."

"The Jacob Black you knew had two sisters," I told him. "One had a son, also called Jacob, and one of his children is Jerry Black who is my grandfather. Their daughter - my mother - was only sixteen when she had me and she gave me up for adoption. I was brought up in Neah Bay with a Makah family. I only discovered I'm Quileute a few weeks ago."

"What about you, Edward?" Carlisle asked. "Do you know if there's a connection to your previous counterpart?"

"No, I haven't had the opportunity to look into it," Edward said with a sigh. "My parents are...let's just say they should never have had a child. I don't know my father's history and my grandparents are dead. I would have looked into it at Christmas, but I didn't go home, I stayed with Jacob. I live in Chicago."

"You were from Chicago before," Carlisle told him. "I was a doctor there at the time. It was the early Twentieth Century and you and your parents were patients of mine during an outbreak of Spanish Influenza. Your father died and things weren't hopeful for you and your mother. She guessed what I was - I was careless - and she begged me to change you to give you another life. You were seventeen."

"Did I have any siblings, or anyone that I could be descended from now?"

"No siblings, certainly, and you never mentioned uncles or cousins. Perhaps there really isn't a connection."

"There must be," Edward protested. "My name is Edward Anthony Masen, the same as before. I look identical to the original Edward; there's a photo of us on our wedding day in a journal Billy Black wrote that Leah gave us, and obviously Tanya and Jasper recognised us." He frowned suddenly and quickly changed the subject. "Why is Tanya there?"

"It's a long story, but in brief, she ended up alone. After what happened to you and after Kate's death, Irina left and went to the Volturi. She took up with the vampire there who was friends with Kate. Eleazar and Carmen decided to leave too and went to South America where we have some distant relatives."

I thought it vaguely amusing that one of the Denali vampires would have the same name as my grandmother; the bitter woman would no doubt be unimpressed by that idea.

"By then Tanya had a mate," Carlisle continued. "His name was Garrett and she decided to stay behind at the house in Alaska. He wasn't a vegetarian like us and she spent years trying to change him and resist the urge to join him, but she was wasting her time. Garrett changed two others - a male and a female - to form his own coven. Tanya's relationship with him began to break down and he and the two newborns drew enough attention to themselves for Aro to send some of his minions to deal with the situation.

"Garrett and the male newborn were killed, while Tanya and Zara, the female newborn, escaped and travelled south to look for us. Tanya thought the rest of us would be better able to control Zara than she could herself. They found us in Guatemala..."

"How could you forgive Tanya for what she did?" Edward demanded suddenly. "She and Irina killed Jacob!"

"Well..."

"But I started it by attacking Kate," I reminded him. "Carlisle, I wouldn't have expected the others to just sit and watch."

"They must all have know the Volturi were coming for us," Edward said bitterly. "Kate found out, but I don't suppose she kept it from her sisters."

"Edward, a lot of time has passed since then," Carlisle sighed. "Fifty years in fact, before Tanya brought Zara to us. What I've described to you might have sounded like it was within a short space of time, but it wasn't quite like that. Tanya didn't intend to stay with us and she left Zara with us in Guatemala and took off to join Eleazar and Carmen for a while. She showed up again about ten years ago, still alone. It was Jasper's suggestion she stay - he could feel her sorrow and all of us talked about it and agreed that it was about time some bridges were mended."

"So is Zara married to Jasper? Or Emmett?" Edward asked.

"Yes, she's with Emmett. She's a mind-reader, the way you were, Edward. It didn't take her long to discover Emmett was developing feelings for her and then _she_ approached _him._"

"What about Jasper?" prompted Edward.

"His wife is Charlotte. Do you remember him ever mentioning her before?"

"No," Edward said. "I don't really remember that much that didn't involve Jacob."

"Long before Jasper met Alice, when he was first turned by Maria, she created many newborns, two of whom were Charlotte and Peter. Jasper's job was to control them and then kill them when they matured and out-lived their usefulness. Charlotte and Peter were two of the lucky ones who escaped before their lives could be ended and they later became mates. Peter was killed many years later - we don't know the details, Charlotte won't talk about it - but we found her in southern California alone. She still hated Jasper for his actions almost two hundred years before, but she was lost and killing without much discretion, risking the Volturi coming after her. Jasper wanted to help her and Esme and I managed to convince her to join us. She fought against accepting our diet for quite some time and it was probably another five years before she became friendly with Jasper, but they married eventually."

"When we came looking for you, I just assumed Tanya was with Jasper since they seemed to be together," said Edward.

"Tanya still holds a grudge for Kate, clearly," I added.

"It was more the shock of seeing you; the same goes for Jasper. He feels bad for not speaking to you, Edward."

"I guess I can understand that," Edward agreed. "I mean, when I started to remember things I couldn't accept it. It scared the sh-." He stopped and cleared his throat, reddening slightly and I grinned. "It scared me too much to think about it properly. Jacob tried to talk to me about his dreams and memories and I refused; I didn't want to believe I could have been a...I mean, I thought being a vampire meant being a killer...I...sorry," he stammered.

"It's alright, Edward," said Carlisle.

"Where do we go from here?" I asked. "We had hoped to be able to meet you. To at least fill in the gaps of our previous lives."

"You'd be welcome here any time," the vampire said at once. "I'll leave you my number so you can call first; that way we'll be sure to be home. Most of the others, especially Esme, are excited at the thought that you're here again."

"We might be able to get back to Neah Bay one weekend," I said. "Otherwise it'll be Spring Break."

"We won't be going anywhere," Carlisle told us. "And please, any time you want to speak to me; any questions you'd like answered, call me."

The conversation ended a few minutes later. I saved Carlisle's number in my phone and Edward did the same, then for a moment we just sat in silence.

"Wow," I breathed eventually. "That was...it seemed weird, but not. Does that make sense? I remembered his voice as soon as he spoke and it seems like we just talked to him last week or something. I thought it would be more awkward..."

"I did too." Edward stretched out on the bed. "I'm relieved Tanya isn't with Jasper or Emmett, but she's still there...I mean, I get what Carlisle said. It was a long time ago; ninety years is a long time to hold a grudge over what happened. I suppose I just don't like it because she killed you."

"If it hadn't been her, it would have been somebody else," I reasoned. "My end goal was simply to die and join you. Even if I'd known I wouldn't find you, I'd still have done it, just to escape the pain of losing my Imprint."

"I suppose. I just hope Tanya won't go for us again if we visit them." He shivered and I lay down beside him and rested a hand on his chest.

"I'm sure it would be ok, with the others there. I hope we don't have to wait until Spring Break to go back, but I'll have to look at my schedule. I know there are quite a few Sunday games this semester as well as working with the team Saturdays."

"I really need to go home as soon as I can," Edward said. "There's no point trying to talk to my parents on the phone; I won't get anything out of them unless I'm in front of them, assuming they even know anything."

"They must know who their grandparents were and maybe that will be a clue."

"I'll see if there are any family records or anything in the house too. I just want to know what my connection is to the first Edward; there has to be one."

I nodded and got up again, grabbing my journal from the other side of the room. I decided to write about the main points of the talk with Carlisle while they were still fresh in my mind. The book would certainly make for an interesting read for someone in the future. While I filled a couple more pages with the phone call, Edward went to take a shower and returned just as I was finishing writing. He was wearing blue pyjama pants and a short black t-shirt and as I looked up from my position lying face down on the bed, my eyes were on a level with his thighs. I lifted my eyes further until they reached the waistband of his pants and above it, a narrow strip of bare flesh and I was reminded of what we had been doing when my phone rang. We started kissing and as much as I had intended just to be gentle and loving, which was how I had been feeling, my cock had begun to come to life almost immediately. It seemed strange that only a few short weeks ago, just the thought of kissing Edward had horrified me and now, I was only thinking about it and I could feel my blood rushing to my groin.

"What are you staring at?" Edward said awkwardly, walking to the foot of the bed and climbing onto it between me and the wall. He manoeuvred himself under the covers and folded his arms on top of them.

"You, I can't help it," I grinned. I put the journal and pen away and leaned over to kiss his hot cheek. "I better get a shower too."

I grabbed a clean pair of shorts from one of my drawers and hurried into the bathroom, stripped off and stepped into the shower. I was half erect and as I soaped myself, my cock stiffened further until it was quivering against my stomach, aching to be touched. I was still less than confident, I realised and much as I was tempted to simply dry off and hurry to bed, I wasn't comfortable with doing that in quite such an obvious state of arousal. Besides, if he touched me I'd come in about five seconds like I had before. I unhooked the showerhead from its bracket and twisted it so that the water came out with more force, then slowly aimed it downwards. The water stung as it needled my erection, but at the same time it felt good and I leaned back against the wall, cupping my balls in my free hand and tugging at them while I moved the showerhead up and down slowly, using it rather than my own hand to get myself off. It was something I'd done a few times before at home and now I added to it by visualising Edward in the shower with me. I still hadn't seen him completely naked and I imagined it, his pale body pink from the hot water, his cock as hard as mine, his hand wrapped around it as the sight of me masturbating excited him. I came hard without even touching my cock, hoping my loud grunt couldn't be heard the other side of the closed door and then I rinsed off, quickly dried myself and put the shorts on.

I got into Edward's bed and he immediately turned to face me and rested a hand on my chest. I shuffled closer and slid my arms around him, my lips quickly finding his and caressing them slowly as I slipped a hand under the back of his shirt and stroked it over his warm skin. It was he who deepened the kiss, his hand cupping the back of my head and his tongue teasing my lower lip before thrusting into my mouth. I could feel his heart pounding against my chest and he quickly grew hard as he moulded himself to me. Despite having only just relieved myself in the shower, his arousal soon had my body responding, my pulse quickening and my cock beginning to lengthen. It became trapped between my thigh and his and he shifted slightly to give me more room, then hooked one leg over mine and drew me closer again.

I remembered our first sexual adventures when we were together before, the way we would often grind against each other, sometimes simulating sex even with our clothes on and I rolled Edward onto his back, lowering myself onto him and pressing my knees between his thighs until he spread them wider. His hands slid down my back to my butt, squeezing me through my shorts and I gyrated my hips slowly, rubbing my clothed cock against his. His eyes were closed, his head thrown back on the pillow, his breathing fast and uneven and I lowered my head, brushing my lips against his exposed throat, then gently grazing his flesh with my teeth. I moved to his collarbone, nibbling his skin, then to the side of his neck beneath his ear. He shuddered and whimpered, thrusting his lower body more urgently against mine, one hand slipping inside my shorts and caressing my butt. I lifted my head and covered his mouth with mine again, plunging my tongue into his mouth and smothering his groans as he came. I felt his wetness seep through my shorts and his hand continued to stroke me, the tips of his fingers sliding tentatively into the crease between my cheeks. I didn't expect him to touch me there and I was surprised by the jolt of pleasure I felt as the tip of one digit brushed over my hole.

"Mmm...yeah..." I grunted. Immediately more thoughts from before filled my head; me lying in Edward's bed while he explored me with hands and tongue, my cock in his mouth and his fingers inside me, nudging my prostate until I came forcefully; me on my hands and knees, his tongue probing into me, his hand between my legs caressing my balls.

"Holy shit!" I gasped. My orgasm rushed through me and I came in my shorts, adding to the mess from Edward's ejaculation and I lay trembling on top of him for a moment, his hands lightly stroking up and down my back. It occurred to me that things were likely to progress between us much faster than I'd anticipated and rather than scare me, it only excited me. I loved him and I wanted to try all of those things I'd remembered and more. In a way it didn't really seem like our first time at all, but as if we were taking up where we left off and doing everything all over again.

"I love you," I panted.

"I love you too." His lips brushed my jaw and then my neck. "I didn't expect this to happen so soon."

"Nor did I. What was it I said about a week ago? That I needed to take things slowly?" I kissed his ear and chuckled. "Maybe we should forget I said that."

Slowly I peeled myself away from him, grimacing at the wet stickiness on my cock and stomach and thinking that we should have saved the showers for later. I slid out of the bed and went to the bathroom to clean up quickly, dumping my shorts in the corner and using a wet washcloth rather than shower again. Edward appeared a moment later and I felt my face heat up. Foolishly I almost covered myself and I shrugged off the momentary discomfort. Edward giggled slightly, his face pink and I stayed where I was, trying not to stare too hard as he slipped off the soaked pants and grabbed his own washcloth. He was slim and toned, but with less definition than I had. The hair on his chest was light brown and it tapered to a narrow line leading down to his neatly trimmed pubic hair.

"Stop looking," he grinned, turning his face away as his colour increased under my gaze.

"I can't help it; you look so good," I murmured.

He rinsed out the washcloth and hung it on the side of the sink and I caught his arm and drew him towards me.

"Don't be shy with me."

"Sorry. Nobody's ever seen me naked, if you don't count my parents when I was a child."

"Not even in the showers in school?"

"No, I always waited until the other boys finished."

"Well...you're the first person to see me naked that mattered," I admitted.

"You mean your girlfriend didn't even get a look?" Edward asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No. We didn't really do anything much; certainly nothing that involved taking clothes off."

His eyes lit up. "I sort of assumed...I mean, you never said..."

"You're my first," I interrupted. "Just like before."

"Didn't you want to...?"

"I guess I did at the time, but she wasn't into fooling about; she wanted to at least be engaged and there was no question of that before I went to college."

"That was how I felt before," Edward mused. "The era I was born in, a peck on the lips was about as much as you would do before marriage. It stayed with me. Emmett used to say I was stuck in the dark ages and I ought to move with the times."

"I was happy to wait," I said. "It just made our wedding night more special."

Edward reddened again. "I'm not ready to do that...yet."

"Nor am I," I agreed. I might have thought of more intimate things than what we'd done so far, but I knew actually having sex was a step I wasn't ready to take.

"I don't expect you to marry me though," he added with a smirk.

I gave him a light kiss and we returned to the bed, not bothering with items of clothing this time. Edward snuggled into my arms, his face in my neck and I stroked my fingers through his wild hair as we lay together. It occurred to me that having two beds was likely to be pointless from now on.

"Shame we can't get a double bed in here," Edward murmured.

"You keep doing that. Are you sure you can't tell what I'm thinking?"

He snorted softly. "I suppose it makes sense we would be thinking the same things."

"I guess next year when we move off-campus we can have whatever bed we like," I said. "Maybe we'll have a small apartment or something."

"You don't have any doubts about our future?"

"No, do you?"

"No."

"I've been looking for you for the last ninety years," I elaborated. "I'm not letting you go again now unless one of us dies and with any luck that won't be until we're really old and wrinkly."

It was a certainty in my head; he was my life and after years of feeling like something was missing, I had found it.


	21. Chapter 21

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

I opened my eyes some time before either of our alarms woke us and as usual, found myself lying on my back, my morning erection hard against my stomach and Edward moulded to my side. He had one leg and one arm draped across me, his mouth close to my ear breathing warmth into it and his cock trapped between us against my hip. I moved slightly and he stirred and nuzzled my ear, kissing the lobe and then drawing it between his teeth to bite gently.

"I love waking up with you," he murmured and propped himself up on one elbow, lowering his head to kiss me on the lips before drawing back again to look at me.

I grinned up at him, his eyes still half closed and his chaotic hair sticking out from his head in all directions. I slid my arms around him, stroking one hand up and down his back, making him arch and squirm like a cat. For several moments he didn't move and I felt goosebumps break out over his skin as I continued running my fingers lightly over his flesh and it reminded me of how we had been before - me hot and him cold, each other's touch making us shiver deliciously. My cock twitched impatiently and I stopped stroking Edward and pulled at him, encouraging him to slide on top of me. He lowered his weight onto me, his arms resting on the mattress either side of my head to stop him crushing me and his hips rolled slightly, the length of his cock lying beside mine. I hadn't really considered how we would be with each other, whether one of us would be more dominant than the other, although I remembered that before we had shared everything. I knew we had lain like this many times before, me completely at Edward's mercy, him being so much stronger than me then. He wasn't now, but I relaxed under him, my heart banging in my chest, my balls aching as he gyrated slowly above me. He lowered his head again, his lips crushing mine in a heated kiss and a low moan coming from his throat. I kissed him back, our tongues toying with each other and I stroked my hands downwards again, gradually continuing until they reached his butt. I cupped the firm flesh and squeezed, feeling his erection pulsing against mine, oozing pre-cum onto my belly. Groaning, he pulled his mouth away from mine and rested his forehead on the pillow beside me, his breath coming in harsh gasps. I shifted slowly beneath him, letting my legs slide apart until his were between them, his knees taking more of his weight as we continued to rub a little awkwardly against each other.

I tentatively moved one hand lower, first to the back of his thigh, then between his legs, the tips of my fingers nudging his balls and my thumb stroking over the ridge behind them. He shuddered and gasped and I applied slight pressure, experimenting and using a little of my previous memories to guide me.

"God...Jacob...uh...shit..." he panted, thrusting himself more urgently against me.

He was so close to coming already and I could feel my own orgasm approaching fast, heat coiling in me ready to explode out. I moved my hand upwards a little, my thumb stroking over his hole, the fingertips taking the place of the thumb and he came hard, his cum pooling between us, prevented from shooting out by our bodies moulded together. He groaned loudly, probably loud enough to be heard outside if anyone happened to be walking past our door and in another few seconds I came too, adding my own fluid to the sticky mess between us. Panting for breath, I took my hand off of him and rested it in the middle of his back instead, his skin now damp with sweat.

"Mmm...that was so good," I murmured.

"I was too loud." His face reddened a touch, but he grinned.

"I'll remember to smother you with kisses next time. Do you want to shower with me?" I asked.

His grin widened. "Definitely. Just give me a minute."

He threw the bed covers off, slid away from me and went into the bathroom, pushing the door almost closed, but not quite. I heard him take a pee and flush the toilet and then brush his teeth. When the shower started running I went to join him, grimacing as the sticky puddle on my stomach began to ooze south into my pubic hair. Edward was in the shower stall with his back to me and I quickly grabbed some toilet paper to wipe the worst of the mess off of me, used the toilet and cleaned my teeth. When I at last stepped into the shower, Edward was leaning against the tiled wall with his eyes closed, the water cascading over him and his cock half erect. He looked...sexy was the word that came to mind and I smirked as I remembered the first time I had seen him; all black hair and eyeliner, black clothes, serious face and glasses. He had looked anything but sexy then; just wary and shy and a little sad.

He opened his eyes now and smiled self-consciously. "You're staring."

"I was just thinking how different you are from when you first walked in this room." I stepped closer and angled the shower head away from us slightly, resting my hands on his waist and leaning closer to brush my lips against his.

"Oh, you didn't like gloomy gothic Edward?" he teased.

"Of course I liked you; you're just...how I remember you. You're hot," I blurted.

"I actually thought I was pretty chilly before," he smirked. "You were the hot one; a hundred and eight degrees. That was one of the reasons I clung to you so much; you made my cold bones feel better."

"Idiot."

I dug my fingers into his ribs and he yelped, then reached up to grab the shower head from its bracket and sprayed it in my face. Suddenly I was gasping for breath as the blast of water turned icy and I struggled to push his arm away while groping for the temperature control. We were fooling around like children, but I loved being able to behave like this with him; I felt as if I could do anything I wanted, however silly or however serious it was and it was ok. I snatched the shower from him and hooked it back on the wall, relieved as the water ran hot again, then picked up Edward's shower gel and squeezed some into my hand.

"You know, you have your own," he grinned.

"I wasn't planning on using it on me."

I lathered up the gel between my palms and began running them over his chest and belly, soaping him in slow circles. His cock had softened during the fooling around with the cold water and I took it in my hand to wash it, watching as it immediately began to grow. I ran my hand lightly up and down its length, teasing it to full hardness and then tightening my grip. Edward leaned back against the wall again, eyes closed and cheeks stained with colour as I began jerking him off. I took my time, stroking slowly, caressing his balls with my free hand, ignoring my own cock as it rose eagerly against my stomach. Each time I felt his erection begin to pulse and his balls tighten, I tugged on them gently, drawing them downwards and stilling my other hand, prolonging things until he couldn't stand any more.

"Jacob...please...oh God..." he moaned.

"Please what?"

"Stop teasing me."

I moved my hand faster up and down his length, rubbing my thumb over the head every so often, releasing his balls and pressing my fingers between his legs instead to find that sensitive spot behind them. He writhed against the wall and thrust himself urgently into my hand, his pants and groans audible above the sound of the rushing water and then his cock was jerking, shooting its load out of my fist to be immediately washed away. I took my hands off of him, rinsed them and cupped his face, brushed my lips lightly over his. His chest was rising and falling rapidly and he slid his arms around me and held on tight.

"Shit...my legs have turned to jelly," he snorted.

"I love touching you," I murmured. "It's strange to think that just a few weeks ago I could never have imagined doing this with you."

"Are you sure you're ok with everything?" He opened his eyes and looked into mine.

"I'm sure." I leaned against him, nudging him with my neglected erection. "Can't you tell?"

He smiled and slid his hand down to touch me again. "I just want to make sure; it all seems to have happened so fast. Less than a month ago you weren't sure whether you liked kissing me or not."

"Well, I'm sure now. I'll let you know if I don't like something." I gave him another gentle kiss and grimaced as I heard my alarm clock go off in the bedroom. "Now can you please...get me off...or I'm going to end up sitting through my first class with a hard-on."

Edward eagerly obliged, using both hands in the same way I had, only he didn't prolong things and tease me until I begged due to the annoying shortage of time. Panting, I reluctantly drew away from him and we washed quickly, dried ourselves and went back to the bedroom to get dressed and eat breakfast. We left the room together and after a brief moment of hesitation, I grabbed his hand as we headed out of the accommodation block and began to make our way across to the college buildings. A few people glanced at us curiously and I heard one person shout out something insulting, following which Mark's loud voice responded angrily.

"Shut your fucking mouth, bigot, or you'll be explaining yourself to Charlton!"

Doctor Charlton was the head professor at SU and he was about as intolerant of bullies in any form as you could get. Edward glanced at me and grinned as Mark came over to join us.

"You two look pleased with yourselves," he commented.

"Well, you know, we're just delighted to be on the way to class," I said.

"Right. Pair of saps."

Mark continued to joke and tease until Edward left us to go to a history lecture and I was relieved that my friend didn't seem to be uncomfortable about us being together. Blair had been a little more reserved, but said later that it just took him a while to get his head around me being with Edward. That day I did receive a few curious and slightly derogatory comments from one or two of the guys in my class, but most didn't seem to care and in fact one guy named Chris who I hadn't got to know that well previously, came to talk to me and admitted he was gay. He had been too worried about his classmates' reactions to admit it previously. We chatted for a while and I discovered he was someone I could really get to like.

"Your boyfriend's fucking gorgeous," he commented at one point and my response was to grin and snigger.

___'Boyfriend.'_I liked the sound of it and I couldn't wait for the afternoon classes to finish so that I could see him. The closer we got, the more I hated being apart, even for a few hours.

I had hoped that Edward and I would get the opportunity to return to Neah Bay and visit the Cullens one weekend, staying the Saturday night with my family, but after studying my schedule I realised with disappointment that it was impossible. Edward could have taken a weekend off from his voluntary work in the museum, but I couldn't get out of my training sessions with the juvies on Saturdays or the endless string of games almost every Sunday for the next few weeks. I knew if I asked, the coach would have excused me one weekend, but I didn't want to let them down and I needed the money. I discussed it with Edward and we agreed there was nothing we could do about it but wait until Spring Break, although even that looked like it may not happen, at least not for both of us. Edward hadn't seen his parents since September and despite not caring to have him home over the Christmas holidays, they did expect him back at the next opportunity. We put off thinking about this possibility as long as we were able, neither of us wanting to consider spending a week apart and having to wait even longer to meet the rest of our past.

As the weeks passed, we grew closer than ever. I was totally in love with him and he with me. We slept together every night, spent every spare minute together, kissed and touched at every opportunity. We hadn't progressed beyond mutual jerking off and rubbing ourselves against each other although occasionally we would jerk ourselves off and watch. There was something unbelievably arousing about watching Edward touch himself, his eyes closed, cheeks flushed as he made himself come. I knew he was beginning to want more and I did too, although neither of us had instigated anything more serious. There was no rush, I told myself. We had our whole lives to move things forward and taking our time just made the anticipation of what was to come greater.

Both of us were busy with studying and work and Edward entered a writing competition and won a cash prize, then shyly allowed me to read the story which was a short historical drama set in the time period he had lived in before he was changed. I wasn't in the least surprised that the piece had won - it was easily as good as something produced by a professional writer.

We went on dates when we could, to the movies or for dinner or for drives in the truck, mostly alone but occasionally with Chris and a boy he had started seeing. Dwayne was majoring in English and also worked in the library and Edward had introduced him to Chris. Sometimes we hung out with Mark and Blair too, but they both had girls now - Della and Candace.

We talked to Leah and Embry on the phone regularly and also Carlisle and Esme. They told us the whole family were keen to see us, even Emmett and Jasper's wives who hadn't known us before, but were fascinated by the idea of us living our lives for a second time. I continued updating the journal regularly, noting new memories that surfaced as well as what we were doing in our current lives.

The last few days before Spring Break seemed to fly by and as much as I was excited about getting home to see my parents and sisters and also Embry and Leah who I had promised to visit, I dreaded leaving Edward. He was flying back to Chicago Saturday morning and had arranged for a cab to take him to the airport a little while before I planned to set off on the drive to Neah Bay. I had offered to give Mark a ride back to Tacoma which I had to virtually pass through on my way home and I wasn't particularly looking forward to his company now it came to it. I was miserable and felt almost sick as we loaded our things into the truck and Edward's cab arrived and parked behind it. Mark was currently indoors, fetching his case, which I was glad about as Edward came to me and wrapped his arms around my neck.

"I hate this," he said tearfully. "I'm going to miss you so much."

"I know, baby, it's going to be a long week," I murmured, pressing my face into his neck and hugging him tightly. I had never used the term of endearment before, but it slid off my tongue easily and would have made me smile if I hadn't felt so sad.

"I love you, Jacob," Edward sniffed, pulling his head back so that he could kiss me. His eyes were wet and I raised a hand to brush his tears away as our lips clung.

"I love you too, so much," I said softly. "Call me when you land, ok? I'll probably be home by then."

"Alright." He sighed heavily. "I can't believe my parents actually want me home this time. I so wanted to see the Cullens. You're still going to see them, right?"

We had talked about it and much as they were connected to Edward more than me, he had encouraged me to see them, to try to find out more. We would be in touch with each other by phone several times a day while we were apart.

"Yes, I'll go. I can call you from there so you can talk with us," I agreed.

The cab honked suddenly and Edward turned and glared at the driver. "Turn the fucking meter on!" he snarled and I raised my eyebrows.

"Temper!" Mark appeared with his case and threw it into the back of the truck. "That's me done. You ready?"

"Yeah, almost. I guess we might as well set off the same time as Edward."

Mark nodded and climbed into the truck.

"I guess we're going then," I said reluctantly, pulling Edward close to me again for one last kiss.

I squeezed my eyes shut as our lips caressed slowly and then let him go and watched him put his case in the trunk of the cab and slide into the back seat. A moment later the car pulled away and I got into the truck, trying unsuccessfully to swallow the lump in my throat. I started the engine and turned the truck onto the street. My chest hurt and I had to wonder how I would feel by the end of the week. Letting my thoughts slip to the past, I remembered the agony of being separated from my Imprint, which had been a hundred times worse than this.

"Shit, Jake, are you ___crying?" _Mark said and I noticed his rather incredulous expression as he glanced at me.

"Fuck off," I muttered and cleared my throat, scrubbing a hand over my face uncomfortably. It came away wet and I wiped it on my jeans.

"It's only a week."

"Yeah, well...I love him, ok?" I blurted.

"Couldn't he go home with you again?"

"Not this time, he hasn't seen his family since September."

"Yeah, of course." Mark leaned towards the dash and began scrolling through the music I had saved onto the drive. He selected something loud and upbeat and I heaved a sigh of relief. At least I wouldn't have to talk and I would be alone in less than an hour.

I didn't bother stopping on the drive home. The truck had a full tank of gas and after I left Mark at his house, I simply drove and thought about Edward, trying to squash down my misery over being away from him and remind myself that I would be talking to him in just a little while longer. I made it home at lunch time and as soon as I parked up, predictably my sisters flew out of the house and into my arms, both chattering at once and demanding to know where Edward was.

"He had to go home to see his parents," I said, forcing the smile to stay on my face. Both girls pouted in disappointment and this time my smile was genuine. I loved that they loved him too.

Edward called me two hours later to say he was home. He hadn't wanted to call me from the airport where it was loud and busy and was now in his room. I excused myself from my family and went to my own room to talk to him and we continued until my phone began to beep to alert me that its power was waning and Claire and Chloe were knocking impatiently on the door asking why they couldn't talk to Edward too.

It was a very long day and a longer night. I didn't sleep well without him next to me and I tossed and turned, missing him and wondering what I was going to do with myself for six days until I could see him again. I told myself I was being pathetic and that a week apart wouldn't hurt us, but it did hurt and I would have given just about anything to have him with me.

Sunday I took my sisters out for one of our adventures and took photos of all of us, texting them to Edward and I was delighted when he later sent me a picture of himself. When we returned home I went to my room and called him and again we talked for over an hour and then again later in the evening when we were in our beds, me talking in a whisper in an effort not to be overheard in the silent house.

Monday I helped Mom with grocery shopping and took Claire and Chloe to the beach for a few hours, this time calling Edward while we were out so that the girls could have a brief chat with him. I talked to him again later in my room and this time he had some news for me. Although he hadn't spent a great deal of time with his parents, his mother had told him there was a box of family records and so on in the attic. He had gone up there to find it and at last discovered his connection to the original Edward.

"My father back then was also called Edward Masen," he said. "He had a brother named Edgar, two years older. They had some big fight before I was born and Edgar moved away to a town called Carbondale in the south of the state. My mother, Elizabeth, secretly kept in touch with him and his wife because she hoped one day he and my father would get over their feud. It never happened, but after the Spanish Flu epidemic that killed my parents, Edgar and his family returned to take over the house as he was the only surviving relative of Edward so he had claim to everything."

"So are you saying you're descended from Edgar?" I asked.

"Yes, he had three sons - Matthew, Luke and John - he was a religious guy and picked names from the Bible. Luke had a son who grew up hating his parents' ways and disagreeing with their beliefs. He studied science, married straight out of college and became a stock broker, just as my original father and also Edgar and two of his sons, Matthew and Luke were. Their career choices followed the same path even if their beliefs didn't. The subsequent generations leading to me followed suit. I didn't expect it to be so straight-forward."

"Wow," I said. "So the original Edward's uncle was your great-great-great-great-grandfather, or something like that?"

"Yes," he replied happily. "At least I cleared that up easily. Did you talk to Embry and Leah yet, or the Cullens?"

"No, I'm going to call them tomorrow," I told him. "My sisters pretty much monopolised me since I got here."

We talked a little longer and agreed to chat again later that night when we went to bed. I felt encouraged by Edward's news and again I looked forward to seeing Carlisle and Esme and the others, even though I would have preferred not to be doing it alone. However, things didn't go quite according to plan.

Tuesday I called Embry first and arranged to see him and Leah later that day. Then I called Carlisle, for the hundredth time wishing I would be taking Edward with me to see them, but I was disappointed when Esme answered his phone and told me he was working a double shift at the hospital and all of the others were out hunting. She promised to call me, or ask Carlisle to call me, either Wednesday or Thursday. I called Edward to update him, but much to my surprise the call went to his answer service. Since we parted we had our phones with us constantly and each answered within seconds of the other calling, so I was puzzled and could only assume he was in the bathroom or something like that. I sent him a text instead and then set off to La Push to visit Embry and Leah. Again I felt as if there had been no break between the past and the present, the only difference being that they looked much older.

I tried calling Edward again as I drove home and several times during the evening, but he didn't answer and I began to worry. Something had to be wrong. Where was he? Surely if he had a problem he would want to talk to me, so all I could think was that he must be hurt. I kept trying to call at intervals throughout the night, but all I got was his answer service and by the time I dragged myself out of bed in the morning, my head was pounding from worry and lack of sleep. I was relieved to find that Claire and Chloe had already gone to spend the day with a friend, but Dad, who wasn't working that week, was expecting me to help with an errand which took us to PA. I sent Edward numerous texts, desperate to find out what was wrong and several times Dad asked if I was alright, telling me I looked terrible.

"I didn't get much sleep, I've got a headache," I excused.

"Anything you want to talk about?"

Before I could answer, my phone rang and I fumbled it out of my pocket as Dad started the truck ready to head back to Neah Bay.

___'Edward Calling.'_

My heart leaped into my mouth and I put the phone to my ear, momentarily breathless.

"Edward?" I gasped.

There was silence.

"Edward, are you ok?"

Dad glanced at me with a frown and paused, leaving the truck out of gear.

"Is he alright?" he asked.

"Edward!"

"Jake..."

He never called me that, it was always Jacob and immediately after he said it there was a choking noise which sounded suspiciously like a sob.

"Edward!" I cried. "What happened?"

I heard a whimper and a snuffling sound and my heart began to race in panic. He was hurt; something awful must have happened and he couldn't even tell me. Then suddenly I heard background noise - muffled voices, footsteps and an electronic announcement.

___"Number one-zero-three for Seattle is now boarding at station six; all passengers please..."_

I lowered the phone for a moment.

"Dad, where's the PA bus timetable?"

"In the glovebox, why?"

I pulled open the glovebox and searched for the booklet, flicking through for buses to Seattle. The 103 used Station 6 to collect and drop passengers.

"Edward's at the bus station!" I exclaimed.

"Here?" Dad raised his eyebrows.

"Yes, something must have happened, he's not talking." I put the phone back to my ear again as Dad pulled the truck away from the kerb, performed an illegal turn and began to head for the centre of the town.

"Edward!" I said. "Are you there? Hold on, I'm coming to get you."

"I'm...I'm in..."

"PA bus station, I know," I said. "We'll be five minutes."

He didn't say anything else, but I could hear him at the other end of the line and I chewed my lip fearfully as Dad drove us to the station. What on earth could have happened that would make him fly back from Chicago and come by bus all the way to PA? That now had him in tears and barely able to speak? Impatient to get to him, I bounced my knee, ground my teeth and fiddled with the phone, repeating that we would be there in just another minute even though he didn't respond to me. At last Dad parked up in one of the wide bays in front of the bus station and I shoved the door open.

"I'm here!" I announced into the phone and began to run into the building.


	22. Chapter 22

**Thanks everyone, for reading and sorry for the rather mean cliffhanger! I decided not to make you wait until my next regular posting day to find out what happened to Edward ;o)**

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

I didn't see Edward immediately and I halted in the main part of the bus station, scanning the large area of seating in the middle, but he wasn't there. I looked to the left and followed the wall with my eyes to the far end, then back up the other side and there he was, sitting on one of the cheap plastic seats nailed to the wall close to the phone booths. He had his arms wrapped around himself, his phone clutched in one hand and his head down, his suitcase on the ground next to him. I shoved my phone into my pocket and raced over to him, quickly dropping onto the seat beside him.

"Edward?" I touched his face and turned him towards me. His eyes were red and swollen and his lips trembled. "Baby, what happened?"

"My p-parents..." He squeezed his eyes shut and leaned towards me, slumping into my arms and pressing his face into my neck. I hugged him tight against me, trying to stay calm as anger needled me.

"What the hell did they do to you?" I said through my teeth.

A number of scenarios ran through my mind. He had already told his parents he was gay and they thought he was doing it for attention; had he made them listen and they didn't like it? Did he tell them about me and they didn't approve of him being with a Native? Did he talk about our pasts and they didn't believe it? Had they thrown him out for some reason? Disowned him?

"They're dead."

It took a moment for his quiet words to sink in and then I gaped as I struggled to find something to say.

_"What? _How? When? Shit, Edward, I'm sorry."

"It was...um...when did I talk to you last?" He pulled back a little and looked at me.

"The night before last."

"Yeah, it was then; well, later. There was a...they...um..." He sniffed hard and continued shakily. "They went to some business dinner. Their car was taken out by a drunk driver. He ran a stop sign and hit them head on. A police officer came to tell me. Both my mother and father died instantly."

"Fuck," I muttered. "I'm so sorry."

"You must be surprised I'm this upset. I mean, they practically ignored me my whole life, but...they're still my parents. My mother actually talked to me when I found the family history stuff. I told her about you and she said she was glad I found someone. She said they're both proud of me even though they don't show it; I never even realised they noticed."

"I'm not surprised," I said. "Of course you're going to be hurt by this. Most people care for their parents, whatever type of people they are and it seems like they cared more for you than you think."

"Yeah. I called my father's lawyer to deal with everything; I didn't know what to do. I feel like I shouldn't have left, but...they're in the morgue. I don't have anyone else."

Fresh tears began to stream down his face and he hung his head, tugging a hand through his hair. I pulled him closer to me again, rubbing one hand gently up and down his back.

"Yes, you do. You have me and my parents and sisters. You're never going to be alone, Edward. We're your family now."

"What will they think of me? Just...turning up..." He glanced over my shoulder and then jerked himself away from me quickly. "Oh, God, your Dad's here. What's he going to think?"

"Edward, stop it. He won't think anything. He and my Mom will be horrified you lost your parents and they'll want to take care of you."

"But he must have seen us," Edward worried, scrubbing his hands over his wet cheeks and flushing.

"It doesn't matter. I was going to tell them about us before I came back to college. I just haven't had the chance yet, but they won't mind, I know they won't. They've always told me that whatever I want to do with my life, whatever choices I make, so long as they make me happy I have their support."

"Are you sure?"

"Totally." I wasn't; not one hundred per cent. I knew my Mom would have no problem at all, except for the fact that she would have to wait for Claire and Chloe to grow up before she had the chance of any grandchildren; I knew my Dad would accept it, but I imagined it would take him a little getting used to and I didn't think they would be keen on us sharing my room any more.

"I'm sorry if I worried you. I know you kept calling me, I just...I couldn't talk."

"Don't even think about apologising for anything. Come on, let's get home. How you even managed to get all this way in this state, I can't imagine."

"Auto-pilot, I guess."

I stood up and grasped his hand to pull him to his feet, but as he rose, suddenly the colour drained from his face and his knees buckled.

"Shit!" I gasped, grabbing him around the waist quickly before he collapsed. His skin was impossibly pale and sweaty, eyes rolled back in his head. "Edward!"

"Alright, I got this." Dad was at my side a second later, scooping Edward up into his arms as if he weighed no more than one of my sisters. "What happened?"

"I think he passed out."

"Clearly. I meant what happened to prompt this sudden appearance."

"His parents were killed Monday night by a drunk driver."

Dad hissed something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like 'fuck' and turned away from me.

"Get that case, let's get him home."

He began to stride towards the exit, Edward lying limp in his arms. I picked up the suitcase and followed quickly, swinging it into the back of the truck before I dug the keys out of Dad's pocket and opened the door. Dad lifted Edward onto the seat and he opened his eyes and looked at us in bemusement.

"W-what happened?"

"You passed out, it's ok." I climbed up onto the seat next to him and closed the door while Dad jogged around the other side and got behind the wheel. "Better put this on." I fastened the seatbelt around Edward and grabbed a bottle of water from the holder in the door, handing it to him.

"I'm exhausted," he said.

"When did you last eat?"

"I can't remember. Before my parents went out. I haven't thought about it."

We always kept snacks in the truck and Mom's car, mainly for the girls and I looked in the glovebox and then under the seat, where I found a plastic bag containing a stash of chips and chocolates and several empty packets. I pulled out a chocolate bar and gave it to Edward when he finished the water.

"You better get some sugar into you."

He nibbled the chocolate and peanut butter concoction unenthusiastically while Dad drove swiftly home, none of us talking. I sent Mom a text to let her know about Edward and when we arrived, she was in the kitchen and my sisters were nowhere to be seen. Edward's colour had returned and he followed me into the house as I carried his case. Dad headed for the lounge and Mom emerged to give Edward a hug and to tell him she was sorry and he must consider our house his home from now on. She suggested he go and lie down for a while then and he headed for my room at once.

"Where are the girls?" I asked Mom. "Still at their friend's?"

"No, your Uncle Dale came to get them; I thought it would be better for Edward to settle in without them wanting to jump on him."

"Thanks, Mom." I gave her a hug. "I need to talk to you and Dad."

"Never mind that now, go take care of Edward."

"Will you make him something to eat please?" I asked. "He passed out in the bus station; he didn't eat since Monday."

"Of course, I'll heat some soup up and I've got a fruit pie baking."

I took Edward's case to my room and closed the door behind me. He had taken his shoes off and was lying on his side on the bottom bunk, dry-eyed but looking desperately unhappy. I kicked my sneakers off and lay down too, drawing him into my arms.

"Do you want to talk?" I asked.

"No. Just hold me."

I held him and stroked his wild hair, brushing my lips against his ear occasionally, feeling the slow thump of his heart against my chest. I felt awful for him and I knew him well enough to know he would feel lost, even though he had me and my family. His home was two thousand miles away, but it was empty and lonely; would he ever want to go back? I doubted it and as sad as I felt for him, at the same time I felt a guilty sense of happiness that I wouldn't have to be parted from him in the holidays again.

A little while later there was a quiet knock on the door and Mom waited for me to answer. I opened the door and found her with a tray balanced on one arm, holding a bowl of soup, a thick slab of bread and butter and a large slice of hot cherry pie.

"Thanks, Mom." I took the tray to Edward and he sat up and accepted it. "I'm going to go talk to Mom and Dad," I told him. "I won't be long."

"I'll be fine," he said. "Thank you, Jacob."

I left him alone and went to join my parents in the lounge, suddenly filled with nerves. How much should I tell them? Just that Edward and I were together, or all the rest of it as well? I closed the door and sat down next to Mom on the couch.

"Thanks for looking after Edward," I said.

"You don't need to thank us, Jacob, he's almost part of the family," Mom said at once.

"I have to tell you some things. I was going to before I go back to college; it's not just because of him turning up today."

Mom smiled encouragingly. "Go on."

"Well...um...I hardly know where to start."

"The beginning's always a good place, son," Dad said.

"Right. Well, first I better tell you about Edward. I mean, him and me...we're...together." I glanced from one parent to the other. Dad's eyebrows rose and Mom nodded knowingly as if it was no surprise to her. "Did you suspect something?" I asked.

"I noticed the way he looks at you, at Christmas. I could see there was something there from his side, but I wasn't so sure about you. Then there was a day when he was playing a game with your sisters and you were looking at him as if you'd take a bullet for him, so then I knew."

"Louise?" Dad said in surprise.

"Women just know these things," she said.

"So..." I prompted.

"You love him," Mom stated.

"Yes."

"I hope you haven't been worried about telling us. You know we've always said that whatever you choose for yourself, we'll support you. If Edward makes you happy, then we're glad for you."

I beamed at her and then turned to look at Dad, who was scratching his head.

"I don't have a problem, Jacob, he's a nice kid and I'm not going to question what you want; but I don't understand how you could be with Suzannah for a year and then suddenly you like...boys."

"It's not boys, plural," I said, feeling my face heating up. "I didn't become attracted to boys and choose Edward. It was the other way round. I started to have feelings for him and he just happens to be a boy. But there's more to it than that." I licked my dry lips.

"It's a really long story. It starts when I lived before, ninety years ago." I realised I was going for the whole story, however difficult they might find that to swallow, but since they believed I had another life where I was able to change into a wolf, I thought it probably wouldn't be too great a leap for them to accept the rest although I had no intention of letting the word 'vampire' pass my lips.

"Edward lived before too," I said. "I was sixteen and he was seventeen when we met. We both loved the same girl, only she didn't want me; she wanted him and it caused us to hate each other. But then when I became a wolf I Imprinted on him. It's the way the Quileute wolves found mates; fate chose them and it chose him for me. I have no idea why and I was horrified, but after it happened I couldn't stay away from him. It made me physically sick after a while. I hid it from him and everybody else for a long time because I was ashamed and I hated the fact that it was him."

I realised both of my parents were staring at me with puzzled frowns on their faces and I knew what was coming out of my mouth must be pretty unbelievable even for them.

"It sounds really far-fetched, doesn't it?" I said. "I didn't know what to believe myself. Basically, I was with Edward then - I got over avoiding him, his girl died and the tie between us eventually began to affect him too. We fell in love and got married really young. His family and mine didn't like each other and didn't mingle much. We both died the next year; I told you I was killed defending my home and the same happened to him. We think we must have somehow been given another chance now. I don't understand all of it. I just know that when Dad left me at college back in September and my room mate - Edward - turned up later, I knew him. I knew his name before he said it, I recognised his face, I dreamed I'd been searching for him. Ever since then we've both been remembering things - gifts we gave each other, things we said to each other, places we went, people we knew - and while all that's been happening, I guess we fell for each other again.

"Embry and Leah remembered Edward too and they gave me a journal that was written by Billy Black, my original father, which has a photo in it of Edward and me. We look indentical to the way we look now. We were meant to find each other again; I know it."

"Well," Dad said, still frowning, but it was clearly because he was processing it all rather than that he disapproved.

"I wasn't sure if I should even tell you any of this," I added. "I mean the stuff from the past. It sounds like a fairy story. It's part of who we are now, though."

"It's not really so different from what we already talked about before," Mom said. "As we said then, every tribe has its legends. Most of them go back centuries and although a lot of them stemmed from old stories told around a fire, there's a lot of truth in some. We live in a world where inventions help us do impossible things, so why should legends and spirits be unbelievable?"

I nodded slowly. "I guess I thought it would be too much. It took Edward and me a while to believe it and accept it."

"Some things you just have to accept without asking too many questions," Dad said with a sudden grin.

I almost had to pinch myself to see if I was awake. They believed me. I'd been in two minds about saying as much as I had, but they accepted my story as if it was nothing out of the ordinary. There was still one more thing left to say, however, and strangely it was the hardest thing for me to bring up.

"So now that you know...about me and him...if you think I should sleep on the couch...I mean, we don't...wouldn't...do anything..." I stuttered, hating to hint at such a thing to my parents, but not wanting either of them to mention it first.

"Don't be silly, Jacob, you can stay in your room, we trust you," Mom said at once.

For a brief moment Dad looked as if he had swallowed something that tasted slightly unpleasant, but then he straightened his face. I imagined he didn't want to visualise his son in bed with another boy.

"So...you're certain this is what you want," he said. "I mean, you're not just getting swept along by dreams and memories and that kind of thing."

"No, Edward is what I want and I know that won't ever change," I said firmly.

"Then he'll always be welcome," Dad nodded. "Is there anything else you have to tell us?"

"We think Edward still has some family members in existence," I said carefully. "Not blood relatives, but...he looked into his history to see how he was connected to the original Edward and it turns out he's descended from the first one's uncle. Back then, his parents died in an epidemic and he was...adopted by another family who had their roots in Forks. We talked to a doctor in that family on the phone and he invited us to visit. There's sort of a connection there so maybe he won't feel so bad if it turns out he still has somebody, aside from us."

I spent a little longer talking to them and then went back to my room. It had all gone much better than expected and the main thing was that my parents were both happy about me being with him.

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

"Better, thanks. What did your parents say?"

"They're fine. They both like you and they happy about us being together." I outlined what I'd said about our connected pasts and the existence of the Cullens and Edward's face brightened suddenly.

"Did you speak to them again?" he asked.

"No, I was supposed to today or tomorrow, but I haven't yet."

"Will you call now? I want to see them," he said firmly.

"Now? Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. I have to get on with things. They were my family before; maybe in the future they could become that again. I don't know, they said they wanted to meet us and I'm not expecting anything, but what do I have to lose? Your family mean a lot to me, but if there's any chance that I might still have some of my own, then I want to do something about it and I don't want to waste any more time."

"I hate to bring this up, but is there anything that needs to be done about your parents?" I asked. "I mean...my Dad could help."

Edward shook his head and sighed heavily. "The lawyer's sorting everything out. I have to go back for the funeral and to sort out the Will, that's all. I just need to do something else for a while; to think about something else."

"Ok." I pulled out my phone. "I'll call Carlisle now."

Carlisle answered quickly and I explained I was home for the next few days and that Edward was now with me too. The doctor sounded delighted initially and then shocked when I told him Edward's parents had died suddenly in an accident.

"Perhaps he won't want to be concerned with us at the moment," he said.

"Just the opposite actually," I said. "We'd both like to visit, if that's alright with you."

Edward was surprisingly positive on the drive over to Forks. He was still pale, with shadows under his eyes from lack of sleep, but he was very different from the heartbroken, tearful mess I found him in at the bus station just a few hours before. I commented on it once and he said just being with me made everything better.

I parked the truck in front of the Cullens' house and we walked slowly up the steps to the front door. There was no sign of any of them, but before I had chance to ring the bell, the door opened and we came face to face with Carlisle and Esme - two real vampires - for the first time. At least it was the first time in this life. They looked no different to the last time I had seen them; pale porcelain skin, golden eyes, perfect hair, red lips and gleaming white teeth.

I had thought I'd probably remembered everything by now, but as I faced them I realised there were gaps in my memories that suddenly began to close up, like a torn piece of fabric knitting together. I saw the Cullens and the pack coming together to fight the newborn army; me running to Italy with Alice to save Edward; the others in turn coming to save us from death's door. Edward had drunk my blood which was poison to him and Carlisle drained it from him, risking himself. Then Houston, hunting for Jasper who had turned rogue after losing Alice and created a newborn; the Cullens finally accepting me and welcoming me into their house, but later opposing us marrying; Emmett giving me a big-brother chat; Rosalie, the wife he had lost hating me...some things I had already remembered and some I didn't, one flash after another until they began to blur into each other - everything that had gone before suddenly right there in my head and my heart; every little detail that had still been missing up to now.

It occurred to me that I was supposed to be strong, supposed to be taking care of Edward who had just lost his parents, and here I stood clutching at the door frame and shaking, my eyes half closed, panting for breath.

"Jacob, are you alright?"

"Jacob!"

Edward was clutching my arm and Carlisle and Esme were looking at me with concern.

"Uh...I...sorry, I just...remembered...all the bits and pieces that were missing." I laughed awkwardly. "I almost feel like I stepped back into the past and it all just happened."

"Come inside and sit down, you're awfully pale," Esme said. She reached out and I watched warily as her white hand drew closer and closer to mine and grasped it - ice cold and solid. "It's alright, Jacob, don't be afraid," she said.

"I'm sorry. I'm not, I'm just...a bit shaky."

I pulled myself together determinedly, embarrassed. Esme led me into the house and to a lounge room I recognised, Edward and Carlisle following behind and we all sat down. Tongue-tied and annoyed with myself for becoming like this, I sat numbly listening as Carlisle spoke to us, welcoming us and telling us we had nothing to fear from any of the family, Tanya included. All were just as they had been in the past - vegetarians who wanted to preserve human life.

It was Edward who responded, going into more detail than we had with Carlisle on the phone about how we had met and begun to remember things, how he had feared the idea of what he had been and how we had realised we were meant for each other. Finally I found my voice and joined in the conversation, feeling strangely as if I had gone back in time to our first lives, the only thing reminding me that we hadn't being Edward's hand holding mine; warm and soft and human.

"I have something for you," Esme said after a while and rose to go to a cabinet in the corner of the room.

She returned a moment later holding a long silver chain identical in design to the one I wore, on which were two rings - wedding rings. Our wedding rings. I sucked my breath in and held it and heard Edward do the same, his nails digging into my palm.

"Where did you get that?" I asked.

"The Denali house. After you...died, Jacob, we went there to bring you home, to lay you to rest with Edward. You were wearing this."

I took the chain in wonder, unclipping the catch to slide the rings off into my hand. I passed the smaller one to Edward and held the other between finger and thumb, remembering when we had exchanged them; alone on the cliff, unaccompanied by our families who opposed our union.

_"Jacob, today I take you to be my husband. From the day you came to me in Volterra I felt the connection between us and it has grown stronger every day since. Gradually it became the love that I feel for you now, which makes me feel alive. I vow to love you and cherish you, to keep you safe and protect you, to share everything with you. I will always be there when you need me and I promise to be the best husband I can be. I vow to make this day and every day after it one that you will cherish and I give you everything that I am._

_"I give you this ring as a symbol of my love for you and my trust in you and I promise to love you and remain at your side forever."_

They were the words Edward spoke as he put the ring on my finger that day and they weren't only in my head; he was reciting them quietly under his breath. I was overwhelmed by the feelings I had for him and as I looked up at him, his eyes were sparkling and gazing back at me adoringly.

"We'll leave you for a little while," I heard Esme say quietly and less than a second later a door closed behind the two vampires.

"Do you remember what I said to you?" I asked.

"Yes."

I had to close my eyes again and step back in time to that moment on the cliff to recall every word exactly as I said it before and I spoke softly as I remembered placing the ring on his finger, making him my husband for such a heart-breakingly short time.

_"Edward, I never knew that I could feel this way about another person. You came into my life by accident, chosen for me by fate and at first I didn't know how to be with you; how to love you. I grew to love you as a friend first and then as a partner and although the Imprint guided me in the right direction, now it's not just fate's tie that makes me want you with me every minute, but my heart and soul._

_"I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you. To laugh with you, stand by you and protect you and be someone that you can depend on always. I vow to love you today, tomorrow and forever. I am honoured to take you as my husband and I promise that no matter what happens, I will always be there for you._

_"With the gift of this ring, I make you my husband and I promise always to love you, support you and be faithful to you. You're my own beautiful vampire and I will be with you always."_

My eyes snapped open and I couldn't help smirking, even as my heart raced with excitement. "You know I'm going to have to alter the bits about Imprints and vampires next time I say that."

"What are you saying?" Edward was gripping my hand so tightly he almost crushed my fingers.

"I'm saying that we're meant to be together, always and one day we're going to be exchanging these rings again for real."


	23. Chapter 23

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

I quickly slid the rings back onto the chain, secured the catch and tucked it into my pocket. I wasn't sure how much time had passed, but we had slipped into a private moment and temporarily forgotten about our surroundings while the other Cullens were probably waiting impatiently to see us. I wasn't sure if we should open the door to indicate we were ready, but as I was considering it, someone pushed it open and Emmett appeared, accompanied by a woman, who I immediately guessed must be Zara. She was almost as tall as him, with dark hair caught up in a messy bun and she was dressed in figure-hugging jeans with ripped knees, a baggy sweatshirt that looked as if it might belong to Emmett, and hiking boots. In appearance she couldn't have been more different from Rosalie, who I remembered had been very particular about her choice of outfits and keeping every hair in place. She smiled now and crossed the room as we got to our feet.

"Yes, I'm Zara. So you're Edward." She grasped his hand lightly and shook it before turning to me. "Jacob. I've been hearing so much about you."

"Pleased to meet you," I heard myself say, realising that she was the opposite of Rose in attitude too. Emmett had definitely made some improvements.

Zara giggled loudly. "Thanks, I could really get to like you two."

Edward glanced at me curiously and I wondered if he had been thinking the same thing.

"Emmett, what are you doing over there? Cat got your tongue?" Zara teased, glancing over her shoulder.

The big vampire came towards us now and clapped a hand on Edward's shoulder, making him wince. "Never expected to see you two around here again. When Jasper said he'd seen you we were totally shocked. Well, don't stand on ceremony..." He waved at the couch we had risen from and backed towards another seat opposite, almost falling into it and snatching Zara from her feet on the way down, settling her on his lap.

"Carlisle's been filling us in on what you're doing now and how you came to be here," Emmett went on. "It's weird, but not, do you know what I mean?"

"Yes, I know exactly," I said.

"You don't know how much everybody missed you, little bro," he aimed at Edward. "Seems like that Imprint shit's powerful stuff if it can bring you back too."

"It seems to be the best explanation for how this happened," Edward said.

"Stranger things have happened," Emmett grinned and lowered his voice to a whisper. "Tanya's _nice."_

"She wasn't nice to us that day we came over here," I pointed out. "Is she going to be ok with us?"

"Yes, she knows the rest of us will rip her head off if she even looks at you wrong," smirked Emmett and then grunted as Zara's elbow connected with his ribs.

"Tanya's fine," she said. "She got a shock that day when she saw you and all the memories of that last day that ended her family came back. She and her sisters were really close and she lost Irina too in a sense; she's been with the Volturi ever since and hasn't contacted us once. Initially Tanya took me under her wing until she brought me to the Cullens and when she joined us again later, I became like her sister. She worried you two might be here to take me and the others away from her."

"Did she tell you that?" I asked in surprise.

"Nope." Emmett tapped the side of Zara's head. "She just pokes around in everybody's heads when she feels like it; same way you used to, Edward."

"I never bothered with yours, there wasn't much worth looking at," Edward blurted, much to my surprise and Zara guffawed loudly, covering her mouth with her hand.

"You're such a lady," Emmett grimaced.

"You love me," she said smugly.

I grinned at the pair of them. On one hand it seemed strange that we were sitting chatting to a pair of vampires, one of whom we'd known years before, but on the other, I felt almost the same as I had when I was with Embry and Leah - like we had come home.

Jasper came into the room a few minutes later, accompanied by a petite girl with short reddish-brown hair and a kind of elfin look, not dissimilar to Alice. He introduced her as Charlotte and she greeted us pleasantly, but then sat mostly in silence, listening while the rest of us talked. Jasper sat in a chair the other side of Edward and the first thing out of his mouth after the initial 'hello' was an apology.

"I should have talked to you when you came here before," he said. "I felt bad about it ever since. The first thing I saw was Tanya holding up your car and I concentrated everything on calming her down. When I saw who was in the car...I was freaked out. I didn't understand how it could be you and the shock had my hold on her slipping. It was more important for me to get her away from you; then I heard you calling me, Edward and I just...didn't know what to say. I'm sorry, I should have come after you...something."

"It's ok," Edward said.

"We just wondered why you didn't want to talk to us," I added.

"Sorry," he repeated. "So...Carlisle and Esme have been telling us how you came to be here again, what you're doing...you believe this is fate?"

"Fate and Jacob's Imprint," Edward nodded.

"So does this mean we're going to be seeing you around here from time to time?"

"I hope so...if we're welcome. I...um...I don't know if Carlisle told you, but I lost my parents a few days ago. I hoped that somehow..." He stopped and tugged a hand through his hair.

"Carlisle did tell us, I'm so sorry," Jasper said.

"Bro, you're still family to us," Emmett put in at once. "I know I'm speaking for everybody by saying that. It's just like you went on a really long vacation and now you're back."

"Esme was over the moon when Leah asked Carlisle to contact you," Jasper went on. "You were always her favourite, Edward."

"I'm sure that's not true," he said, reddening.

"Oh, it is." Emmett chortled suddenly. "Funny seeing you blush. I always imagined if you were human you'd be the colour of a beet every time I poked fun at you."

"Emmett!" Zara's elbow rammed into his ribs again and he groaned.

The time we spent with the Cullens should have been strange and surreal, but it wasn't at all. Carlisle and Esme returned a little while later to join us, Esme bringing us a tray holding coffee and cookies and I had to wonder why they still kept those sort of items in the house.

"I went to the store earlier when Carlisle said you were coming to visit," Zara said.

I did find it slightly unnerving that she picked up on our thoughts constantly and responded to unasked questions, not just with us, but with the rest of the family too, but I remembered Edward doing exactly that previously. I had fought to keep my thoughts to myself initially and then later he had promised to give me privacy and keep out of my head, but there was still the occasion where he would answer something I had only thought.

We didn't see Tanya all afternoon and I wondered whether she was electing to stay away from us or whether the others had asked her to do that. I felt a constant prickle of nervousness throughout our visit that she would suddenly appear and be just as angry and frightening as when we had seen her before, but she didn't and eventually we got ready to leave, somewhat reluctantly, particularly on Edward's part. Emmett and Jasper both gave us their phone numbers and then said goodbye, withdrawing and taking the girls with them.

"Edward, I want to make a suggestion to you," Carlisle said. "You don't have to take me up on it and you might feel it's presumptuous of us after having only just found each other again. But Esme and I and the others all still see you as part of our family. You're going to have a tough time ahead of you, saying goodbye to your parents and dealing with whatever ensues. If you need any help or support, with anything, promise you'll call me?"

"Really?" Edward looked surprised.

"Of course. You obviously remember most of your past now, so you'll remember the way we were - us and Emmett and Jasper. Since we learned you were here again, we all hoped that you'd want to at least reconnect."

"Thank you." Edward's eyes filled and he blinked rapidly. "I hoped too, especially since...I'm alone now."

"You're not alone," Esme said at once. "Remember that. We're here if you need us."

I was hugely relieved. I knew he'd longed for this kind of outcome, although he hadn't said much about it. Even before his parents died, he had hoped the Cullens would welcome him and now all of them had, including the new girls. Only Tanya still hadn't made an appearance, but now she came rapidly through the door and halted beside Esme.

"Hello, Edward. Jacob."

"Tanya," Edward said stiffly. I just nodded.

"I wanted to say sorry. You were right in what you said, Jacob. I guess in a way we were even. It's hard for me to forget; I lost my whole family after that day, but...I know why you did it. I'm sorry I scared you two. I'm not sure that we'll ever be friends, but I can promise you don't have anything to fear from me."

"Thanks," I acknowledged. "I'm sorry too."

I glanced at Edward and then grasped his hand and squeezed it. He nodded slowly. "I don't want there to be any bad feeling," he murmured.

"Thank you." Tanya retreated again swiftly, leaving Carlisle and Esme to show us out.

I wasn't too surprised when Esme suddenly tugged Edward towards her and gave him a motherly hug and after a brief hesitation, he held onto her, a couple of tears squeezing from beneath his eyelids. I shook hands with Carlisle and the pair watched from the porch as we got into the truck and set off down the long drive.

"Are you ok?" I caught Edward's hand in mine and held onto it as I drove.

"Yeah." He sniffed and then smiled. "I didn't really know what to expect. I wasn't sure if they're want to know me again...us. I hoped...you know I did."

"Yes," I put in.

"I know I have you and your family are amazing, but I still felt sort of alone. I don't now. They're exactly how I remembered."

"Me too, Emmett's hilarious," I grinned.

When we arrived home, my sisters were back from Uncle Dale's and delighted to see Edward. We spent some time with them after dinner and it wasn't until they had gone to bed that we had the chance to update my parents on the fact that the 'descendants' of Edward's adopted family had been delighted to see us and wanted us to keep in touch. Mom and Dad were pleased for Edward that he still potentially had someone besides us and he clearly felt much better, although he excused himself and went to bed early, saying he was exhausted which didn't really surprise me. I stayed up another hour and when I went to my room, I found him curled up in the bottom bunk with his face to the wall. I stripped down to my shorts quickly and slid in beside him and immediately he turned over and snuggled into my arms.

It was Friday morning when Edward heard from his father's lawyer, advising that the funeral was Monday afternoon and the reading of the Will would follow. Immediately after the call Edward switched on his laptop to look for flights back to Chicago. The shuttle didn't operate on the weekends, which meant either a rush to catch the last one that day, or getting the first one Monday morning. The alternative would be a much longer weekend flight, but he discovered the only available seats were on the Monday morning shuttle which reached Chicago at eleven-thirty.

"Shit," he muttered. "That gives me three hours to get from the airport, dump my case at the house, get changed, get back into the city..." He raked his fingers through his hair and shoved his glasses up his nose. "Will you go with me? Please?"

"Of course I'll go," I said at once, glancing at the screen and trying not to frown when I saw the cost of a ticket was eight hundred dollars.

"Don't worry about the cost, I'll pay for it, I wouldn't even think of asking you to," Edward said, clicking on the mouse to change the number of required tickets to 'two'.

"Wait! I have an idea," I interrupted. Carlisle had asked Edward to go to him if he needed help with anything and I wasn't in any doubt that he had meant it. He had owned a jet before which he kept at a private airfield close to PA and I doubted that ninety years on, he would no longer have one.

Edward took his glasses off and looked up. "What is it?"

"Carlisle said he would help you with anything you needed."

"What are you thinking?"

"He has a plane, or at least he did. Maybe..."

"No, it's too much," Edward groaned. "I couldn't ask that of them."

"Well, then, I will. Where's the harm? He said to ask. Do you think he'd want us racing to Chicago in a panic at the last minute, if there's another option? What if the shuttle gets delayed? It's always on the news about hold-ups at Sea-Tac."

"Ugh..." Edward groaned. "He'll think I'm taking advantage."

"He won't. You know what he's like; both him and Esme."

He chewed his lip. "I suppose..."

"Right." I pulled my phone out and quickly selected Carlisle's number, hoping he wouldn't be at the hospital. I hoped I was right and that he would want to help Edward in this.

"Jacob?" He answered almost immediately.

"Hello, Carlisle."

"How's Edward?"

"He's ok, but we have to go to his parents' funeral Monday afternoon."

Carlisle expressed his sorrow and I went on to explain that the only flight available would get us to O'Hare three hours before the funeral. I didn't even get to the part where I asked for help; he interrupted and offered both his latest jet, which resided at PA, and his and Esme's company. I knew that one or other of my parents would have wanted to be there for us, but at the same time the short notice, the girls and the cost would prohibit it.

"Are you sure it's not too much trouble?" I said, glancing at Edward who was hanging his head and looking very uncomfortable.

"Of course not. We'll go Sunday, to make sure we have plenty of time," Carlisle said firmly.

"Thanks so much." I sighed in relief.

"Tell him I'll pay the airport tax or whatever he has to pay to land there and store the plane," Edward whispered and I repeated this to Carlisle.

"He'll do no such thing," the vampire said at once. "Perhaps we can make use of a room in his house though, to save the inconvenience of hotels."

"That won't be a problem," I said at once. I thanked him a couple more times before I ended the call and turned to Edward.

"Oh, God," he groaned. "We only just met them and already I'm asking favours."

"You know that's not the case; you've known them since...when was it? Nineteen-eighteen? He was delighted to be able to do something for you. He and Esme are coming to Chicago with us."

"What did he say about the cost?"

"He said you'll do no such thing, they just want an invite to your house."

"Of course," Edward said.

I went to talk to my parents then, explaining the situation and asking if Dad would call Doctor Charlton at the college to let him know what happened and ask that the pair of us be excused classes for a few days until we could get back to Seattle. He called right away and I sent Mark a text to let him know I wouldn't be able to give him a ride back to school Sunday. Edward seemed to withdraw and barely spoke for the rest of the day and I knew he felt both miserable at the prospect of the funeral and guilty for what he thought was putting everyone out.

Saturday I took him and my sisters into PA to do some shopping and have lunch, hoping it would cheer him up and for the most part it did, but it was clear he was dreading Monday and longing to just get it all over with.

Dad drove us to the airfield outside PA and I began to worry about introducing him to Carlisle and Esme if they were already there. Even if they weren't, I knew Dad would want to wait rather than just leave us. It hadn't occurred to me before that he might run into any of the Cullens, us having only just met them ourselves, but I reasoned that Carlisle managed to work in a hospital without drawing attention to himself so there was no reason why Dad should think anything was strange about him and Esme - unless they shook hands with him.

They were there waiting when we arrived and immediately got out of their car and began to walk towards us.

"They look much younger than I expected," Dad mused. "Didn't you say they had grown up boys?"

"They're adopted," Edward said quickly.

"Must run in the family," he said.

"What runs in the family?" I frowned.

"Adoption. Didn't you say Edward was adopted by ancestors of theirs?"

"Um...yeah." I cleared my throat, noticing with relief that both Carlisle and Esme wore gloves. I introduced them to Dad and he shook hands with each in turn, thanking them for stepping in at such short notice to help Edward, almost as if he were talking about his own son.

Esme tucked her arm through Edward's and steered him away towards the waiting plane, Carlisle following with our cases. Dad gave me a hug and told me to call when we reached Chicago, also promising that he would think of a way to get my truck back to me so that I didn't have to do without it until the summer holidays.

Thirty minutes later we were in the air, all of us relaxing in a lounge area very much like that on Carlisle's first plane which had taken us to Houston and also Alaska. The flight was expected to take around five hours, slightly longer than the regular passenger flights between Seattle and Chicago, but without the four-hour drive getting to Sea-Tac. In addition it was private, comfortable and we had the support of two long-experienced adults. Despite being nineteen and Edward not too far from catching up with me, I knew that without the Cullens I would have felt at least a little over-whelmed and helpless, trying to be strong for Edward in an unfamiliar situation.

Carlisle had arranged a space in a hangar for the plane to wait until we were ready to leave and we took a cab from the airport to Edward's house. I didn't know what to expect, but I knew his family had a lot of money so I doubted they lived in anything smaller than the Cullens' house. However, I was completely unprepared for the sight that met my eyes when the cab suddenly turned off of the highway onto a private road and began to approach an enormous stone construction with a high wall around it. I sat forward in the seat, gaping.

"You live _there?"_

"Yeah. It's just a house, Jacob."

I bit my tongue before I was tempted to ask how many bedrooms there were and if had its own swimming pool. I imagined his parents must keep a whole staff to look after the house and grounds and as the car halted in front of the vast porch with pillars at either end, I sprang out and stared up at the four storeys in wonder. The door swung open and an elderly man in a dark suit stepped out, greeting Edward as 'Master Edward' and telling him he and the 'staff' were glad to see him home.

I followed Edward into the vast hallway, gazing dumbly around me as he pointed out two separate lounges for Carlisle and Esme to use and indicated the door of a guest room on the next floor, its door visible at the top of the curved staircase. Then he grabbed my hand suddenly and led me up two flights of stairs to his room, the window of which took up almost an entire wall, the view being of Chicago's skyline. An open door revealed a large bathroom and the bed was a four-poster, something I'd only ever seen in movies.

"Wow," was about all I could get out of my mouth.

"It's just things," Edward said. "My father was successful and he liked the best of everything. I wouldn't choose to live in a place like this."

"I guess it'll all be yours now," I said, over-awed. I had no idea of what accommodation cost - at least not the type that required a staff to look after it, but I knew it had to be valued in the millions.

"I'll never live here again. If it is mine, and they didn't leave it to charity or something like that, I'll sell it." Edward kicked his shoes off and sprawled out on the bed. "There's nothing here I want. Well, a few things that are mine that mean something to me, but I don't want this monstrosity of a house."

"You probably shouldn't decide anything on the spur of the moment." I lowered myself onto the bed next to him and rested a hand on his chest.

"It's not spur of the moment. I don't want it. There's nothing here for me. The few good memories I have are of things my parents did or said on the rare occasions they paid me any attention. I just want to be where you are and that's not going to be here. All I want is my books and my music, my piano if I can find anywhere to store it, my car, a few other things."

Edward raised his head a little and brushed his lips against mine. "Thank you for being here. I don't just mean here in Chicago, I mean..." He broke off with a sigh.

"I know what you mean." I returned his kiss and then we got up and went to join the Cullens.

Later that day the kitchen staff laid on a huge spread for us on a long table in the dining room and Edward and I ate while Carlisle and Esme toyed with glasses of wine and watched. Later Edward showed us his piano, a baby grand, and succumbed to me begging him to play something.

"Can I ask you another favour?" I said to Carlisle in a low voice while Edward played.

"Of course; what is it?"

"Edward says he wants to sell the house if it's been left to him. That piano is important to him, but we don't have room for it at college or at my parents' house."

"It'll fit nicely in our second lounge," Carlisle smiled. "We have a piano, but it's seen better days. It was mostly only Edward that played it and since we returned to Forks, no one has touched it. I'll get rid of it to make room."

"Thanks," I said. "It'll mean a lot to him."

That night Carlisle and Esme retired to the guest room for the sake of the staff and Edward and I slept in the vast bed in his room. We merely held each other and exchanged a few kisses before falling asleep and when I woke in the morning, Edward was already in the shower, the bathroom door open a few inches. I waited for him to come out before I took a turn, wondering what I could possibly wear for the funeral. I had never had cause to buy a suit and I put on jeans and a shirt in the meantime.

Edward had removed a dark suit, grey shirt, black tie and shiny shoes from a huge closet and laid them out on the bed by the time I joined him and I wondered for a brief moment if he had a spare, even knowing that it wouldn't fit me. He was slimmer, his shoulders and back not as broad and muscular as mine.

"I have nothing to wear," I said.

"I'll find you something. You're about the same size as my father, he has dozens of suits."

I protested briefly, but the idea of me wearing his Dad's clothes didn't seem to upset him and by one-thirty I was dressed in a charcoal suit, dark blue shirt and tie and shoes, all of which fit perfectly and probably cost thousands of dollars. We joined Carlisle and Esme in the hallway as one of the Masen family's drivers pulled a limousine up to the front steps and then prepared to go and say goodbye to Edward's parents.


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N - Check out this great new story from one of my favourite authors, SoundShield11, "Sins of the Father". Only the prologue is posted so far, but it promises to be a very interesting read. **

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

The funeral was surprisingly small with only the four of us and two men who were apparently business associates of Edward's father and another whom Edward introduced as the lawyer. Somehow I had expected a large number of people - friends, colleagues and so on - but it seemed that the Masens weren't particularly close to anyone. Edward stood stiff and emotionless at the side of the grave as his parents were buried side by side, me holding his hand and Esme the other side of him with her hands tucked through his arm. When it was over, he pulled away from us and walked off with the lawyer to talk for a few minutes before returning to tell us the Will could be read as soon as we got back to the house.

The lawyer followed our car back and Edward then led him into his father's office and closed the door behind them. One of the staff brought some coffee and I drank two cups while Carlisle and Esme talked quietly and we waited for Edward to emerge. It was almost an hour and then he showed the man out and came into the lounge where we waited, a large envelope in his hand.

"Are you ok?" I asked quietly and he nodded.

"I got pretty much what I expected."

I raised an eyebrow.

"Everything. I told him to go ahead and sell the house and furniture."

"Edward, are you sure you don't want to take a bit more time to think about it?" Carlisle said.

"I don't want it. I'll never come back here again. I just need to sort out somewhere for the things I do want."

"Your piano?"

He nodded.

"We already suggested to Jacob that we take the piano to our house and keep it there for you. We have plenty of room. Anything else that you can't keep at college can come back to Forks too, if you'd like."

Edward gave the doctor a small smile. "Thank you, I'd appreciate that. I want to keep my car, but I can't really have it at college."

"What car do you have?" I asked.

"It's...um...a convertible," Edward said, flushing slightly.

I imagined the car to be a rather expensive model that he was reluctant to admit to and later, when he brought it out of the garage to load into the haulage truck Carlisle had summoned at short notice by offering to pay extra, I bit my lip firmly to stop myself gaping. It was a sleek black Chevy Neptune V10, its chassis sunk low on fat tyres, the windows darkened, hood up hiding the interior which I knew would be of plush grey leather. I had drooled over pictures of it when the model was first introduced two years before and I knew the price tag was not far away from a hundred and fifty grand. It wasn't even legal to drive something with that much horsepower on the road until you were twenty-one and I had to wonder at Edward's parents buying him such a beast at eighteen when he couldn't even use it.

"I've only driven it around the property," he said sheepishly and then indicated a used VW Bug, a model which had somehow managed to survive for more than a century with numerous morphs that all ended up looking similar to the original. "That's the one I drive."

The Bug, however, wasn't to accompany us to college, but to be sold along with Edward's parents' cars. We didn't need two vehicles at college and although my truck was currently back in Neah Bay, we probably wouldn't be without it for too long. Knowing my parents, they would be planning a weekend trip to visit us and return it to me.

Once the Neptune had been loaded into the truck, the piano followed along with boxes of Edward's music and books which we didn't have room for in our room at college either. He decided he would bring them back to Seattle at the end of the summer when we had an apartment and more space. As I looked around at the house and watched the truck drive away with the car inside, I couldn't help feeling a little intimidated. Edward had so much - I didn't know what was in the envelope he held, but I imagined there was more than just the house. He had millions and if he wanted he could walk away from college and never work a day in his life. It didn't seem to mean anything to him, but it didn't stop me worrying about it.

"Jacob." He stepped closer to my side and slid his hand into mine. "This doesn't make any difference, you know."

"Am I that obvious?"

"A little. I guess I'd feel the same though. Like I said, it's just things. I didn't ask for any of it and it will make no difference to my plans. Another three years of college, then teaching. All my mother wanted to do was spend and enjoy herself, but that's not me. It'll make some things along the way easier, but that's all."

"Ok." I squeezed his hand. "So is the lawyer going to handle everything from now?"

"Yes, I signed some papers and it's done. I'll just get a bank transfer when the house sells. I actually can't wait to get away from here and go back to school."

"What about all the staff?" I asked suddenly.

"The lawyer's going to keep them on until the sale. If the new owners want them, they'll stay. If not they'll get a substantial redundancy package."

The car that had taken us to the funeral was still parked in front of the house and now the driver took us back to the airport, Carlisle calling ahead to ensure the plane was ready. We would reach Sea-Tac in the late afternoon and be able to return to our classes the next morning.

Edward barely spoke on the journey back and other than holding his hand, I left him alone and talked to Carlisle and Esme until we said goodbye to them and went to find a cab. They were to fly straight back to PA and promised to call us in a few days. We arrived back in our room just before ten and dumped our cases at the end of our beds to be unpacked the next day. I expected Edward to just want to go to bed and sleep and I pulled my shoes off and stripped down to my shorts as he went into the bathroom and began cleaning his teeth.

He was still wearing the shirt and tie and the suit pants from the funeral and when he came back into the room, the tie was hanging loose around his neck and the shirt open to about half way down. His riotous hair was a bright contrast to the dark clothes and he had finally removed his glasses, which he had been wearing all day. He looked hot and I cursed myself for immediately starting to think about sex, figuring it was the last thing he would want right now. I was sitting on the edge of my bed, my hands dangling loosely between my knees and I straightened up in surprise as he came to me, his hands cupping my face and tipping my head back as he bent to kiss me. He stepped closer, standing between my legs and I slid my arms around his waist, hugging him against me as his lips caressed mine.

"I love you," he whispered after a moment. "Thank you for being there for me."

"I love you too." I gave his lips another soft peck. "You want to get some sleep?"

"No, I don't want to sleep," he said firmly. "I want to...try something."

He pulled out of my arms and lowered himself to his knees in front of me, his hands resting on my thighs. My eyes widened and I held my breath as I looked down at him. I was about half erect just from his proximity and the gentle kisses, the head of my cock beginning to push against my shorts and tent the fabric. Edward slid one hand up the inside of my thigh and brushed his fingers lightly along my length. Then he quickly hooked both thumbs into the waistband of the shorts and began to tug them down. I lifted my butt off of the bed and suddenly I was naked, my erection straining against my stomach and Edward hands stroking up and down my thighs. I groaned and squirmed as he grasped me suddenly, gripping tightly as he leaned down and kissed the head of my cock.

"Holy shit," I whispered.

"You can tell me to stop any time you want," Edward said quietly. "I just... really want this...I want you..." He paused and dropped a couple more soft kisses onto my tip. "Is this ok?"

"Jeez," I breathed. "Yes."

I stared at his lowered head, his tongue slipping out and stroking wetly over my head, then circling and teasing my slit while his hand worked its way up and down my shaft, tormentingly slowly. I remembered how this had felt before, his hands and mouth ice cold. Now he was warm and wet, his lips drawing me in just an inch or so, his other hand cupping my balls and squeezing gently and I let out another groan, clenching my fists at my sides and resisting the urge to thrust myself up into his mouth. I knew I would come shamefully quickly and I tried to slow my breathing and control myself. Edward dipped his head lower suddenly, his lips and tongue sliding down my length until I bumped the back of his throat. He immediately gagged and quickly released me.

"Sorry," he muttered and after a moment resumed the gentle sucking on just my cock head.

"Just take your time." I rested my hand on his head, stroking my fingers through his hair.

"Mmm." His hand moved faster, jerking me off as he followed the movements with his mouth, not going too deep, rapidly pulling me towards orgasm while I panted and groaned, my thighs quivering with the effort of trying to make myself last. His mouth was hot and wet, his teeth occasionally grazing my sensitive skin too lightly to hurt, but enough to make me shudder.

"Edward...uh...stop..." I gasped eventually. "Gonna come."

He didn't stop and as I erupted, my whole body trembling, he continued sucking, making obscene slurping noises as he swallowed around me. When he lifted his head, licking his lips, he was grinning.

"Was it ok?"

"Fuck," I panted. "You're amazing." I bent forward and brushed my lips over his, faintly tasting a musky saltiness which was clearly from myself. "And overdressed," I added, tugging the tie from his neck and tossing it across the room towards his bed.

He got to his feet and unfastened his pants quickly, shoving them down along with his shorts to reveal his rigid and leaking erection beneath his shirt. I grasped it, tugging gently while he fumbled his shirt off and stood on one leg and then the other to remove his socks. He was standing between my knees and I wrapped an arm around him, drawing him closer and kissing his chest, then moving my lips lower to his belly.

"Jacob, you don't have to...do the same thing," he said.

"What if I want to?" I rubbed my thumb over the head of his cock, spreading pre-cum down the shaft and then kissing the tip experimentally the way he had done.

"I wanted to do this for a while, I just wasn't sure you would," he admitted.

"I did. Do."

I extended my tongue a little and swirled it around his head, then drew it between my lips and sucked lightly before letting it slip free with a quiet popping sound. Edward moaned and rested his hands on my shoulders, his fingers digging into my flesh. My other hand caressed his butt, my fingers eventually working their way between his legs, nudging his balls from behind, stroking over the ridge behind them and eventually his hole as I tentatively guided his cock back into my mouth. I didn't take more than a couple inches in, worried that I might gag as he had done, but I licked and sucked eagerly while I jerked him off and wondered whether I should take things one step further by pushing my finger into him. We had used lube before, I remembered and I didn't have any. I took my hand off of him briefly and wet my fingers with saliva, then felt for his tight puckered hole again, circling the tip of my finger around it and pushing gently.

"Uh...wait..." he gasped.

"Sorry, I thought..." I looked up at him.

He backed away and crossed to his side of the room, quickly removing something from one of his drawers - a small bottle of lube. I grinned in relief.

"Why don't you lie down?" I suggested.

Edward lowered himself onto my bed on his back, his eyes half closed, face flushed. For a moment I just stared at him, imagining us lying together, not just rubbing against each other the way we had been doing for weeks, but with my cock inside him, or perhaps his in me. My half-softened erection began to rise again at the thought of us making love and I realised I was ready to take that step. It wouldn't be today, but maybe soon. I climbed onto the bed and pushed his thighs apart, kneeling between them and uncapping the lube, squeezing out enough to coat my index and middle fingers. Edward drew his knees up either side of me and I leaned down to kiss the inside of his thigh, stroking my hand up and down the back of it as I circled my now slick fingers between his legs. Watching me, he ran his hands down his body and rested one over his cock, palming it slowly and biting his lip as I pushed a finger against his hole until gradually it disappeared into him up to the first knuckle. I halted when he gasped and glanced up at his face.

"Does that hurt?"

"No."

Slowly I drew the digit out again and then slid it in deeper than before. Edward's eyes closed and he squirmed and groaned. I pushed his hand off his cock now and bent over it, grasping it myself and holding it upright as I resumed licking and sucking, somewhat clumsily, as I worked my finger in and out of him, imagining how his tight heat was going to feel around my cock. I slowly began to add a second finger and this time he moaned in discomfort. I withdrew it quickly and concentrated my attention on his swollen member, letting the head slip from my mouth and running my tongue up and down his length, all the way to his balls and back up, making it twitch and quiver and feeling the pressure slowly building in him as his orgasm approached.

"So close..." he breathed. "Need more...please..."

I took him in my mouth again, sucking harder on his head, pressing my tongue against the sensitive underside as I tried again to penetrate him with my middle finger. It entered slowly alongside the first, squeezed firmly in his tight tunnel, slippery with lube. I reached deeper, searching for his prostate, hoping that the jolt of pleasure it would bring would lessen the discomfort.

"Fuck!"

His sudden exclamation indicated I had found it and I curled both fingers upwards again, brushing the gland repeatedly until he was arching up off the mattress, his moans easily loud enough to be heard in the corridor by anyone passing our room. He came hard, his cock pulsing in my hand and spurting into my mouth and throat and I gulped and swallowed, feeling the fluid overflow and dribble down my chin. I withdrew my fingers slowly and raised my head, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.

"Jesus, I'd forgotten how good that was!" Edward blurted, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he sucked in lungfuls of air.

Grinning, I lay down beside him. "Maybe you can do that next time."

"I wasn't sure if you'd want to share everything."

"We did before," I reminded him. "I want that again."

"I'm ready," he said. "To make love. When we don't have to worry about school in a few hours."

"Me too." I kissed his cheek and slid an arm around him. "You know, I didn't really think you'd want this tonight. You seemed so upset..."

"I'm ok. I miss my parents; even though we weren't close, I loved them and when it first happened I think the shock overcame everything else. At least I know they did care about me even though they didn't really show it the way most people do. I felt pretty lost, but your family and the Cullens have all been so good to me. I never felt this loved in my life."

"You'll never be more loved that you are by me," I said.

He turned towards me and kissed me warmly for a long moment, then sat up and tugged the comforter out from beneath us. It was late and it had been a very long few days. We snuggled into each other's arms and almost immediately we were drifting into sleep.

The rest of the week was a hectic struggle to catch up with what we had missed. Edward had two papers to write, which he insisted on doing despite his tutor telling him he could be excused from one of them given the circumstances. I had missed Tuesday night's hockey training and also an important leadership skills workshop and I spent time with two of my classmates going over it before my next class. There was a hockey game on Sunday with a team of juvies from Portland visiting and I was disappointed by the shortage of time I had with Edward. Our time with each other was limited to jerking off and a little more oral experimentation when we went to bed each night and I knew it was going to be the following weekend before we could have a proper evening together.

Edward worked in the museum most of Saturday and in the evening tentatively asked about the hockey game.

"Would you mind if I came to watch? It's ok if you don't want me there, I just thought..."

"I'd love it if you came to watch!" I exclaimed in surprise. "I never really thought you were interested."

"I'm interested in everything you do," he said with a smile. "I just didn't think you'd want me coming to the games in case it made things awkward for you."

"Edward, everybody knows about us now. Even if they didn't, I'd love to have you there."

"Well, I said I'd work in the museum until two, so I can run over there afterwards."

The hockey game was due to start at two o'clock, so he wouldn't miss very much, if anything and I found I was foolishly excited at the thought of him sitting at the side of the field watching me in my coaching role while Mark's girlfriend supported him in the same way.

I was required to start earlier than usual on Sunday and Mark and I organised our team while the coach welcomed the busload of visitors from Portland when they rolled up at lunchtime. Food had been laid on by the campus diner and everybody ate in the basketball hall; then the two teams spent a little time mingling before we headed out to the field for a light warm-up session. I repeatedly glanced at the digital display board behind the home goal, eager for two o'clock to arrive when I knew Edward would be finishing work and probably running back to the room to change clothes before he came to watch. However, the game started and I was disappointed when two-fifteen passed and time went on without him appearing. My heart sank as I realised he probably wasn't coming after all. Such a small thing shouldn't have bothered me, but I had been looking forward to him being here all morning.

Two-twenty and the game was going well, the teams well-matched, but ours in the lead so far. I was at the side of the field some yards from Mark, both of us shouting instructions to the players when he suddenly jogged towards me.

"You got an audience!"

"What?"

He ran back to his previous position and I looked over my shoulder, finding not only Edward sitting on a bench with Della, but also my parents and sisters. Immediately Claire and Chloe waved frantically with both hands and Edward shot me a grin. I beamed and quickly turned my attention back to the field. Less than fifteen minutes to go before half-time and when our team scored another goal, I heard my family cheering behind me. I hadn't known they planned to turn up, my Mom having given no clue the previous day when I talked to her on the phone. At last half-time was called and the players flocked together to get drinks and Mark and I strode towards our small group of supporters. My sisters threw themselves at me excitedly and then backed off quickly, proclaiming loudly that I 'smelled'.

"Sorry I was late; I went back to the room to get changed and your parents arrived," Edward said.

"It's ok, I'm glad you came."

I glanced at my parents, unsure whether to show him any physical affection with them and my sisters there and in the end I just gave his hand a squeeze. Mom had already told me previously she had explained to the girls that I cared for Edward in a similar way to how I had cared for Suzannah and apparently they thought this was 'cool' and not at all out of the ordinary. I kept hold of him as we chatted and Dad told me they had brought my truck back, Mom following in her car so they could use it to get home.

"You shouldn't have done that," I protested. "I know how you hate driving far, Mom."

"It was fine, I just followed the truck," she said. "We wanted to surprise you."

After the brief break I returned to the field and after another thirty-five minutes, our team had won by a decent margin and the visitors went to use the sports showers before returning to Portland. Edward took my family to the campus diner while I ran back to the room to shower and change and then we spent an hour over drinks and snacks before Dad got up, saying if they didn't get back on the road they would be driving half the night. Each of them hugged first me and then Edward in turn before piling into the small car and heading for home. We watched until they were out of sight and then went to our room, at last having a little time to spend together. I kicked my shoes off, grabbed Edward and tugged him down onto my bed.

"I'm glad you came to the game," I said.

"Me too, it was fun. I was never really interested in hockey before, but being in love with one of the coaches kind of makes a difference," he grinned.

"That better be me you're referring to." I teased, hugging him tight against me. "You make me so happy, you know that?"

"You make me happy too. I think fate really knew what it was doing," he said softly.

He was right and although we had only been together romantically for a few short months, already it felt like forever. At least this time we had a whole future ahead of us to share and I intended for us to make the most of it. My heart skipped as I remembered the chain bearing the two rings which I had hidden safely in a cloth bag in one of my drawers. I had proposed to him on Ruby Beach the first time around and I had already decided I would do the same thing again, maybe in the summer.


	25. Chapter 25

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Things quietened down a little for us the next week. Both of us had caught up with our studies and other than my hockey training session and Edward's work in the museum, a good part of Saturday was clear. I decided I was going to take him out on a date afterwards, for dinner. It wasn't something we had done much of if you didn't count the diners and I searched the net for suitable restaurants to take him to, discovering a romantic looking Thai establishment within walking distance of college. I took a quick look at the online menu and noted that it was expensive, but not unaffordable and I called them to book a table rather than just turn up and hope for the best; probably not a good idea on Saturdays. I was in luck and secured a table for two which I was told was upstairs in a corner, looking out on a balcony. It sounded ideal and I couldn't wait for the evening to arrive. I still needed to think of something for us to do first and thought about walking down to the waterfront where we had gone the first day I spent any time with him. I'd upset him by trying to talk to him about my dreams, I remembered.

Maybe after having a few hours on a proper romantic date, we could progress things physically. We were growing impatient to do just that, but I wanted to get the mood right and then take it from there rather than just go to bed one night with the intention of just having sex. Since that first time a couple weeks before, we had both explored each other with lubed fingers and I found I was just as eager for him to take me as I was to be inside of him. However, taking that step meant being prepared. Edward had lube of course, but I didn't know if he would have bought condoms. I supposed I could have just asked, or peeked in his drawer when he was out, but I did neither. As soon as Saturday's practise was over and I had showered, I grabbed my wallet and set out to run to the nearest drug store. Edward still had another hour before he finished in the museum and I had plenty of time to run the errand and then spend the rest of the day with him. However, just as I was leaving the building, Mark caught me up.

"Hey, Jake, wait up! Where are you going in such a hurry?"

"I just need to go buy some...stuff."

"Me too, I'll go with you. Both me and Blair ran out of everything, plus..." He lowered his voice conspiratorily and grinned smugly. "I need condoms; Della gave me the green light. Tonight's the night."

I almost groaned aloud. I couldn't very well make an excuse to not go with him when we were both heading for the same store, but I had two choices - not get what I intended and possibly have to wait longer or suffer the embarrassment, knowing Mark would make at least some comment about the purchase.

It was a ten-minute walk to the drug store and Mark strode off towards the section stocking shampoos, shower gels and other similar items and I scooted away to look for condoms, wondering if I could grab some quickly before he saw me. I had never had cause to buy such a thing before and when I found the area of shelving devoted to them, my heart sank. There were at least six brands and probably a dozen varieties for each of those. My eyes widened as I noted thick, thin, coloured, flavoured, ridged, extra-large and so on and I was still standing there worriedly trying to find just regular unexciting ones suitable for nothing but protection when Mark arrived beside me.

"I need some of these." He scanned the shelves in apparent awe. "Wow, how the hell do you choose? Look, blue! You think Della would like blue? It's her favourite colour."

"Um..."

He looked at me suddenly. "Hey, are you buying these? Shit!"

I grunted unintelligibly, feeling my face warming.

"You're gonna sleep with Edward?" he hissed under his breath.

"Alright, you don't have to spell it out."

"Well, you don't have to be embarrassed, your face is as red as those raspberry ones," Mark smirked. "Get it together, I kind of got used to you being with him by now. I don't suppose for one minute you're gonna live like a pair of monks."

"Mark!" I growled.

"Sorry. So...I'm just gonna get regular, or she might freak, or laugh, I don't know which would be worse. We can go for blue next time." He grabbed a box from the shelf which clearly said 'Unity - Regular - Ultra Protection, No Fuss.'

I picked up another box of the same thing with some relief and followed Mark to the self-service checkouts. In five more minutes we were outside, heading for a sports store so that Mark could buy new socks and knee pads; then we were on our way back to college.

When I reached the room, I could hear Edward in the shower and I quickly ripped open the box and emptied the contents into the drawer of my bed table, then threw the box under my bed. Then I changed into black pants and a white shirt and sat down to read something while I waited for Edward. The water stopped running and then he began humming to himself and I knew he was shaving. A few minutes later he appeared, wearing only shorts and socks, his still damp hair working itself into its usual disarray after he had clearly spent some time combing it flat.

"Hey, I didn't hear you come in." He came to me and bent to give me a kiss.

"I wasn't exactly quiet, but you were singing," I teased.

"I was not. I was _humming."_

"Same thing. What was it? The tune?"

"Nothing much, just something I sort of...composed."

"Are you going to play it for me some time?" I asked.

"Yes, when it's finished. I'm not happy with it yet." He stepped back and looked me up and down. "You're all dressed up, are you going somewhere?"

"No, _we're _going somewhere," I grinned. "We haven't had a proper date in a while."

He beamed and crossed to his side of the room to finish dressing, taking out charcoal pants and the green shirt that matched his eyes. "Are you going to tell me where we're going?"

"No, you'll see when we get there."

"Ok."

In a few more minutes he was ready, dragging his hands through his wild hair with a slight frown. I caught his hand and kissed his cheek.

"Leave it alone."

"I always look like I've had a shock," he grimaced. "Maybe I should get it cut again."

"Don't you dare. You look hot, I love it all crazy."

We set off on foot then, hand in hand, heading slowly for the waterfront. We had a couple hours before we needed to be at the restaurant and we strolled and talked until we reached the seawall, then climbed up and sat on it facing the water.

"Remember the first time we came here?" I asked. "I felt like a real shit for upsetting you."

"I just didn't want to face what I knew was happening." Edward leaned against my shoulder and I slid my arm around him. "I was actually amazed you wanted to spend time with me. Remember when we went to the fair?"

I grinned as I thought about winning the pandas for my sisters and the dog that looked like a wolf for Edward. It had sat on either his pillow or his bed table ever since.

"That seems so long ago," I mused. "So much seems to have happened in such a short space of time. I feel like I've been with you forever."

"Well you kind of have; ninety years is a long time." He laughed softly. "The gap in between just doesn't seem like it's there any more; I suppose because we can remember it all now."

We stayed there chatting for maybe an hour before we began slowly making our way back through the city and I led the way to the restaurant. We were still a little early, but they had a lounge area and I figured we could go in and get some soft drinks while we waited. Edward was delighted when he discovered where we were going and a waiter showed us into the lounge and brought us cherry coke. Somehow it had become our soda of choice whenever we were together.

At six we were taken upstairs to our table and handed menus. We spent a couple hours over the three courses, tasting each other's choices, holding hands, our knees bumping together beneath the table, oblivious to anything going on around us. I found I couldn't take my eyes off of him and each time he met my gaze, his green orbs were sparkling, his expression adoring. I loved him so much and as we eventually finished our coffees, suddenly I couldn't wait to get back to our room.

We left the lights off, the room dimly lit by the sliver of moon shining in the window. We undressed slowly, hanging our smart clothes away rather than sprawl about in them and have everything creased. I pulled my socks off too, leaving my shorts on temporarily until I saw Edward remove his and toss them into the corner of the room. He stood there naked a few feet from me, his cock half erect, his chest visibly moving as he breathed fast. I quickly shed my shorts too and went to him, sliding my arms around his waist. He quickly stiffened more, his erection bumping my stomach and my own swelled and rose eagerly.

"You're so beautiful," I murmured.

Edward grinned self-consciously and touched his lips to mine, his hands lightly stroking up and down my back.

"I want you."

His words were so quiet I barely heard them and I held him tighter against me for a moment, then loosened my hold on him and drew him over to my bed. This was it; our first time. We lay down facing each other and immediately my head was filled with memories of our previous first time; our wedding night. I had taken him, his body beneath me, legs spread and knees up, his hands holding tight to me and later I had been the one on my back, looking up at him and stroking myself as he pushed himself into me. I groaned and my cock twitched against him, eager for attention.

"Remember our wedding night?" I whispered.

"Yes, like it was yesterday."

"Do you want to do things the same way?"

"Yes."

I cupped his face in my hand and covered his mouth with mine, caressing his lips warmly for a moment before I parted them with my tongue and the gentleness became heated and urgent. Edward's soft moan went straight to my cock and it throbbed eagerly, nudging his as I slid my hand around to his back and then down to his butt, pulling him in tighter against me. He slid his leg over me, his hips gyrating slightly as he sought friction. I moved my hand lower, my fingers brushing over his hole and reaching forwards to touch his balls. He broke the kiss with a breathless groan and turned his face into my neck, thrusting himself against my thigh. I removed my hand quickly and stretched my arm out behind me, groping for the bed table and the bottle of lube which sat on top, managing to squeeze some out and coat my fingers without looking. Then I reached down again, rubbing the tip of my index finger back and forth over his hole before I pushed it into him. He shuddered and squirmed against me, his tight heat gripping me as I thrust my finger in and out a few times before adding a second.

"God, I'm not going to last long," he panted.

"Me neither."

I could easily come just with what we were doing now and I knew that with my cock being squeezed inside his hot tunnel I had little hope of prolonging things. I slowly began to work a third finger into him to make it easier for him to accommodate me and immediately I heard his sharp intake of breath and his body stopped moving. I stilled my hand as he breathed deep, making himself relax and then he pushed himself back onto my fingers.

"Keep going, it's ok."

I continue touching him, stretching him for a few minutes, trying to avoid his prostate so as not to push him too close to orgasm. It would have made more sense to jerk or suck each other off before trying to make love, I thought, but I was too eager and clearly so was Edward. At last I withdrew my fingers and he moved away from me a little.

"I never asked if you have condoms, but I bought some."

"I got some earlier," I grinned, turning to open the drawer.

I lay on my back and ripped open the small packet, my hands shaking slightly as I gripped the teat between finger and thumb and began to roll the rubber onto my erection, remembering practising with much embarrassed laughing on plastic models in Sex-Ed class when I was fourteen. I picked up the lube again and squeezed out a generous amount, coating my shaft in it and then sitting up and turning towards Edward. Suddenly I was horribly nervous, fearing that I would hurt him, that somehow I wouldn't fit or he wouldn't like it and my erection subsided a little.

"Stop worrying, it'll be ok."

Edward drew me towards him, his legs parting and knees rising either side of me. He lifted his head to kiss me and as I responded to it, his hand cupped my balls and began squeezing and stroking gently. We seemed so in tune with each other; whether I was obvious or not, he always knew what I was thinking and feeling without me saying it and I wondered if somehow it was connected to him having been able to read minds before. Or maybe we were just so close that we had almost become part of each other. I broke the kiss with a smile, my cock fully hard again, propping myself up over him on knees and one elbow as I reached down with the other hand to guide myself. His eyes held mine, the dark moss green almost obscured by the pupils as I carefully pushed my tip into him. I paused for a moment, then inched forwards, a little at a time, drawing back repeatedly before penetrating deeper. He grimaced in discomfort as my full length settled into him and I lay still, my body shuddering slightly as his tight heat squeezed me and my balls contracted. He relaxed beneath me and eventually his hands came to rest on my hips, encouraging me to move. Slowly I drew back about halfway before I sank myself into him again, groaning loudly as his body seemed to almost suck me into it.

"God, Edward...feels so good..." I panted. "So tight."

I continued moving slowly, gentle thrusts in and out, still anxious not to hurt him. We weren't vampire and wolf now, impossibly strong and difficult to injure, but after another minute Edward encouraged me, his hands on my hips, his body pushing up against me rhythmically.

"Please, more," he gasped. "Fuck me."

I stopped holding back, thrusting harder and faster into him, letting not only the feel of him pull me towards orgasm, but also the vivid memories of the past - his cold, slick tunnel gripping me, my skin breaking out in goosebumps and my hair standing on end as cold fingers stroked my spine and my butt.

"Fuck...so close..." I mumbled and almost immediately I felt Edward come, his warm fluid spurting onto my belly, his muscles clenching tighter around me, hands on my butt pulling me in deeper as I exploded into the condom.

I let my weight collapse slowly onto him, my chest heaving with the effort of sucking enough oxygen into my lungs. His hands rested on my back, his breath hot and rapid in my ear as he continued gripping me tightly inside him until my cock began to soften. I reached down quickly and gripped the condom as I slid out, reluctantly rolling away from him to discard it and grab some tissues to clean us up. We didn't speak as we lay there catching our breath, holding each other loosely, occasionally exchanging soft kisses.

"Are you ok?" I asked eventually, touching his face.

"More than ok."

"I didn't hurt you?"

"No. I love you so much." He edged closer and caressed my lips slowly with his own.

"I love you too. You're amazing," I murmured. "You're everything to me."

I wasn't sure how long we lay there savouring each other's closeness, but as time passed gradually our bodies began to react to each other again, inching closer, pressing together, erections beginning to grow, the gentle touches of our lips becoming more heated and urgent. My heartbeat quickened its pace and my stomach fluttered a little nervously. Edward was going to make love to me and I hoped I was going to enjoy it as much as I had in the past and as much as I'd enjoyed being inside of him. I held him tighter against me and rolled onto my back so that he was above me, his knees sinking between my thighs to support his weight, his cock nudging mine eagerly.

"Are you sure you want this?" he asked.

"I'm sure."

He propped himself up a little more and reached for the lube, coating his fingers the way I had done and probing gently at my entrance, one digit and then a second entering me and sliding slowly in and out. I was used to this much at least now and I moaned and gasped, pushing myself against his hand in an effort to make him touch my prostate, but it didn't happen. Instead he began scissoring his fingers gently, stretching me gradually until I felt the discomfort of another finger joining the other two.

"Tell me if it's too much," he whispered.

"It's not. I want it. I want you in me," I groaned. Again I recalled our previous first time, his cold fingers stretching me, his cock entering slowly, icy inside my heat, filling me, seeming impossibly big; bigger than he felt in my hand or my mouth. He had read my mind, murmured a response to my thoughts.

_'I'm not, you're just really tight.'_

He pulled his fingers out and rose above me, sitting back on his heels as he took another condom out of the drawer, opened the packet and rolled it onto himself. I watched, thinking exactly the same as I had before. His cock was too big and it would hurt, but I decided quickly I was being foolish. We were virtually the same size and I hadn't hurt him except maybe a little at the start.

"I'm ready," I said as he finished covering his erection in lube and he lowered himself again, guiding the blunt head into my hole and pushing gently until my ring of muscle gave way and let him enter. I breathed deep, struggling to stay relaxed as I felt myself stretching open. It burned and I closed my eyes and held onto him while he stopped moving for a minute, withdrawing and then sliding in a little deeper. With each movement back and forth it felt easier and then at last he was all the way in, filling me, his balls resting on mine and my cock crushed between our bellies.

"Is it ok?" he asked. "Jacob?"

"Yes." I opened my eyes again and ran my hands down his back. "You feel good."

He began to move again slowly, shallow thrusts just an inch or two each way, his stomach rubbing against my cock. I spread my legs wider and rested my hands on his butt, squeezing the firm flesh and encouraging him to go faster, lifting my hips up from the bed to meet each thrust. As I arched my back his cock bumped my prostate and I yelped and shuddered, digging my fingers harder into his cheeks.

"Oh, fuck...keep doing that..." I panted.

He raised himself up a little more and began plunging harder and deeper into me, repeatedly striking my gland and I took one hand off of him and grasped my own cock, pumping it firmly in time to his thrusts.

"God...I'm gonna come..." I groaned.

I looked down between our bodies, watching my hand on myself, my balls bouncing a little, part of Edward's cock visible as it slid in and out of me. The erotic sight and the sensations ripping through both my shaft and the inside of me pushed me over the edge and cum spurted out of my fist onto my chest. At the same time I felt myself tighten, squeezing Edward's length as his thrusts slowed and became erratic. His erection pulsed repeatedly as he emptied himself and he panted and swore, his arms shaking with the effort of holding himself up. I slid both arms around him again and drew him down against me, our bodies slippery with sweat, a sticky puddle between us from my eruption. I kissed Edward's neck, tasting salt and moved my hand down his back as he started to raise his hips away from me.

"Stay in me...another minute." I could feel him starting to soften and I squeezed him teasingly, making him groan.

"God, don't." He bit my ear gently. "Was it ok?"

"Are you kidding? I love you. I love this."

We lay still for another minute until Edward began to slip from me and he sat up quickly to dispose of the condom, grimacing at the sticky patch on his chest.

"We better get in the shower," I smirked, slowly sitting up.

I was sweaty, sticky and wet inside from the lube and I got to my feet reluctantly, legs weak. Edward followed me into the bathroom and we took a lazy shower, standing under the hot spray with eyes closed for several minutes before we began washing each other. Completely drained, even having Edward caressing my cock with soapy hands didn't prompt a reaction and he remained equally limp when I washed him. I turned the water off and leaned against him for a moment, nibbling gently at his lower lip.

"I want to keep on telling you I love you over and over," I murmured.

"I won't complain if you do," he smiled. "I love you too, over and over."

Eventually I moved away from him and grabbed a towel and we dried ourselves quickly, then went to Edward's bed and slid under the covers. He turned away from me and I spooned up against him, my arm around his waist and my face in his neck. Our first time had been amazing; everything I had hoped it would be and everything I remembered it being before.


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N Thanks to everyone who is reading the story and thank you for the awesome reviews. Guest reviewers, a special thank you since I can't PM you.**

**Now a little more hotness for the boys before things start moving forward in their lives. Hope you enjoy ;o)**

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

When I woke the next morning, Edward and I were tangled around each other as usual and I lay still for a while so as not to disturb him, going over the previous night again in my head. It had been amazing and immediately I began to stiffen as I thought about doing it again and remembered all the things we had tried the first time around. I had loved having Edward sit on my lap, his knees either side of me as he rode me and he had liked taking me from behind on hands and knees, his cock pistoning into me with his vampiric speed. I shifted slightly and grimaced, discovering that the disadvantage of no longer being inhuman, was that I felt a little sore and knew we would have to wait before we made love again.

Edward moved suddenly, his thigh bumping my cock and then his hand slid down over my chest and stomach and grasped it, his lips touching my ear. His own erection twitched against my hip.

"Morning."

"Hey." I turned my head to kiss him and groaned as his thumb rubbed over my slit.

"Do we have time?" he asked and I glanced at the clock.

"Yes...but I think we should wait until...later. I want you, but...why don't you turn around and fuck my mouth instead?"

Edward grinned in apparent relief. "Are you sore too?"

"A bit."

"First time I've actually thought I'd like to be a vampire," he smirked, throwing the bed covers off.

I slid further down the bed as Edward turned around and positioned his knees either side of my head and lowered his head towards my erection. I loved being able to pleasure him like this as he did the same for me and we had quickly mastered the art of swallowing each other without gagging. I stroked my hands over the backs of his thighs, guiding them wider apart and grinning as his balls bumped my nose. I tipped my head back and looked up, eyeing his tight pink hole. My cock pulsed as I thought about how it felt inside of him and I groaned when he guided me into his mouth and took me into his throat in one smooth movement, his hand cupping my balls and squeezing firmly.

I slid my tongue out, unable to resist teasing his puckered entrance, tasting his warm muskiness and feeling the vibration of him moaning around my cock. I continued to lick him for a moment while he shuddered and gyrated, his shaft swaying impatiently above me, as yet untouched. He released my cock suddenly with another groan.

"Holy shit, Jacob, you'll make me come doing that."

"You're giving me ideas."

I turned my attention to his erection at last, grasping it firmly and guiding it to my mouth, immediately tasting pre-cum as he lowered himself. I relaxed my throat, allowing him to sink down all the way and groaning around him as he took me into his mouth again. Slowly he began to thrust up and down, my hands on his hips encouraging his movements and my butt began to lift off of the bed slightly in my efforts to satisfy the persistent ache I had woken with.

Edward came before I did, his awkward thrusting suddenly halting and his fluid spilling down my throat, his body quivering as I gulped and swallowed. He had released my cock from his mouth in order to breathe and groan and he continued stroking it firmly for a moment until he lifted his hips up and pulled away from me, then gave me his full attention again. In another minute I was coming too, filling his mouth and struggling not to moan too loudly. He released me slowly and turned around, straddling me and bending to touch his lips to mine.

"I bet the whole building heard you just then," he grinned.

"I wasn't that loud."

"Yeah, you were."

"I can't help it, you make me feel too good. I can't wait for us to get an apartment though."

"Me too." He pulled away from me and sat up. "Maybe we should start looking. We're going to be too busy with exams soon to even think about it and then it's the summer holidays and everybody will be rushing to get the best places before we come back to school next year."

"We have an advantage though," I said smugly. "Everyone else will be looking for apartments with two bedrooms so we're not going to have too much competition."

"I can't wait to have our own home. Let's look now."

He got up quickly and grabbed his laptop and I pulled myself up to prop myself against the wall, his eagerness infectious. Hopefully the apartment we chose would be where we would live for the next three years until we finished college and even though we wouldn't actually need it for a few months yet, looking for a home together was exciting.

We spent an hour poring over the computer, searching one real estate agent after another. Some dealt with both sales and rentals, but others specified in only rented properties and these seemed to have more to offer for the student budget. However, they were also small, poky and had two tiny bedrooms already fitted with narrow bunks. Edward closed down another site and opened the next with a sigh.

"I guess none of them think about the fact that there might be couples looking for a place to live," he said.

"It's because we're searching within half a mile of college," I mused. "Try further out. I know it'd be a bit less convenient, but we can share my truck. Mostly we're there at the same times."

"It wouldn't bother me to walk a mile or so anyway," Edward agreed and began changing the search criteria to two miles from our current zip code. Immediately a much larger range of available properties appeared and a lot of these seemed suitable more for the general population than just penniless students. I hadn't forgotten that Edward had an incomprehensible amount of money, but at the same time I didn't want him to start dipping into it just to make things easy for us and to get something we couldn't have otherwise afforded on his existing trust fund and my income. I was determined to pay my own way, despite me planning to spend the rest of my life with the richest person I'd ever met.

"What about that one?" I pointed at a listing for a one-bedroom apartment, but on reading the full ad, it turned out that it was only available for six months and we didn't want to have to move half way through the year. It would be preferable not to have to move at all.

"This one?" Edward opened another listing, the first picture being of a decent sized lounge and the four other photos showing a kitchen area separated from the lounge by a bar with stools around it, a bathroom which included not only the shower, sink and toilet you would expect, but also a bath and then a large bedroom. The last picture showed a view over the city from the balcony outside the bedroom, which you could step out onto through sliding doors and had room for a small table and chairs out there.

"That looks amazing," I agreed. "I don't want to look at the price, though."

"It's not too bad, look, but they want three months' rent up front."

I chewed my lip. I knew I could afford half the monthly rent and at a push, the rest of my share of the bills, but I would have very little spare and I certainly couldn't find half of three months' rent in one go.

"It's too much," I sighed.

"What if I pay the deposit?"

"I can't let you do that."

"What does it matter? We'd still be sharing everything else. Why shouldn't we have what we want? It looks perfect."

"I wouldn't feel right about it," I protested.

"Jacob...there's bound to be some occasions in the future where we need something and it'll make sense to just use some of...what my parents left. Why not this? I'm not planning on suddenly starting spending like crazy on lots of stupid stuff just for the sake of it, but this is for our home. It's only a deposit."

"I know, I just...this is going to sound really stupid, but how much you have intimidates me. I've seen how much your house is listed for and I know there was more besides the property."

I hadn't been able to stop myself searching for the Masens' mansion online, curiosity having got the better of me and I had been shocked to see it priced at six million dollars.

"It's just money," Edward said a little sadly. "I didn't even want it, but since I have it, what will it hurt if I pay three months rent and maybe buy us a bed or something? I mean, we can't sleep on the floor, right?"

"I'm being stupid, aren't I?" I sighed.

"No, you're not. I'd feel the same. I wouldn't want you to keep me, but I guess I'd give in over something like this."

"Ok, listen. It's too early to do anything about this yet anyway. This type of place isn't going to be what most of the other kids are looking for so there's bound to be a few of them around when we actually want it. We'll look again before we go home for the summer and if this place is still free then, or a similar one that needs more than a one month deposit, I guess you could pay that. But I'm going halves on the bed, even if we have to get an inflatable one."

Edward grinned. "Awesome."

My phone rang at that moment and I reached for it absently, noting it was Mark.

"Where the fuck are you? It's nine-thirty. Too busy screwing to work today?" he demanded.

"Fuck off," I growled, horrified, my face burning. "I'm coming."

"Too much information!" He hung up and I leaped to my feet.

"Shit, look at the time, we're late." I began grabbing items of clothing and dragging them on as I hopped around the room.

"I'm ok, I don't have to work until ten. Why are you so red?"

"Don't ask," I grimaced. "Mark was buying condoms yesterday the same time I was."

Edward sniggered.

"I have to go." I shoved my feet into my hockey boots and grabbed my knee pads and stick. Luckily it was only a warming up session I was late for and not a game. I paused briefly to kiss Edward and then raced out of the door.

After my few hours working, I went back to the room to shower and then studied while I waited for Edward to finish in the museum. I had another leadership workshop the next day, where the students would be split into groups of six and each would take turns at giving a short training session to the others. Invariably the 'tutor' would be heckled by some unruly student and have to deal with the situation and it was one of the aspects of my course I liked the least. I wanted to be a coach, but having guys like Mark pretending to be your pupils wasn't the most realistic way of practising. I much preferred working with the juvies.

When Edward returned he needed to study too and other than going out to the diner for a meal later, we remained in the room working until late into the evening. With exams just weeks away our free time promised to become more and more limited for a while, but at least we could be in each other's company, even if our attention was on our books, rather than each other.

It was Wednesday night before we managed to finish up early and by then I found I couldn't wait to have sex again. It wasn't as if we didn't do anything, but with little time to spend on each other and not wanting to rush things, we had only used hands and mouths since Saturday.

I switched my laptop off and cleared away the remains of the microwaved meals we had eaten and Edward put away his books. We had been lying on our own beds while we studied and now I went to join him on his.

"I hate being so busy," I muttered, sliding my arms around him.

"Me too; at least it's only a few more weeks until the holidays."

"Yeah, where we'll be sleeping in bunks with my parents and sisters the other side of very thin walls."

"Shit, I didn't think of that."

"We could go camping," I suggested. "I always do for a few days."

"I've never been camping."

"You either love it or hate it. I love it, but it usually rains all the time, you're under canvas, muddy, wet, cold, bugs trying to get in the tent..."

Edward grinned. "It wouldn't matter, at least we'd be alone, right?"

"Yeah, if you don't mind the wildlife listening to you moaning."

"What makes you think I'd moan?"

"If you don't, I'd worry I was doing something wrong," I smirked.

Edward giggled. "Maybe the Cullens will invite us to stay too," he said. "We could have our old room back."

"They'd still hear us. Even if we were quiet, Zara would know exactly what we were doing."

"Maybe she'll do the same thing I used to and keep out of people's heads, especially when they're in their bedrooms."

"Sshh. Stop talking," I smiled. "Kiss me."

I lifted my hand to remove his glasses and put them on the bed table, then pulled him closer against me. His lips found mine immediately and I curled the fingers of one hand into his wild hair, tugging gently on the silken strands as his tongue sought mine. His mouth still clinging to mine, he changed position, shuffling onto his knees and sliding one leg over me so that he straddled my thighs, edging forwards until his clothed erection bumped mine. My moan was muffled by his tongue and I rested my hands on his thighs briefly, then began to quickly unbutton his shirt, pushing the garment off of his shoulders and then stroking my hands over his back and chest. He gyrated on my lap, grinding himself against me and I groaned again, my cock aching. I pulled my head back and broke the kiss breathlessly, pushing myself away from the wall so that I could pull my t-shirt off over my head. Edward unbuckled his belt and slid his zipper down, freeing his erection which had escaped from the opening in his shorts, the head wet and glistening.

"God, I want you so much," I groaned.

Edward leaned closer again, teasing my ear with his tongue and breathing into it. "Do you want to fuck me?" he whispered in a surprisingly seductive tone.

"God, yes." I began fumbling with the buttons on my jeans, my knuckles brushing his cock as it quivered in front of him. "Get up," I panted. "Take your pants off."

He slid away from me and quickly removed pants, shorts and socks while I took off the rest of my clothes and returned to my position sitting up with my back against the wall. Edward lowered himself onto me again, his butt resting on my thighs and his erection touching my own. He wrapped his hands around both and rubbed them against each other. I nibbled the side of his neck and then his throat, hearing him panting and feeling his rapid pulse as he grew more aroused. I reached out blindly for the lube and squeezed some onto my fingers, then slid my hand under him and began to stroke back and forth over his hole. When I pushed one finger into him, his breath hitched and he squirmed against me, his hands continuing to move slowly on both of our cocks as I gradually added a second finger and then a third to prepare him. He moaned and gasped and took his hands off suddenly.

"I don't want to come yet." He gripped my shoulders instead and I looked down at our shafts, his pale and mine dark, both wet with pre-cum and throbbing eagerly.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes."

I withdrew my fingers and Edward leaned over to open the drawer, taking out his unopened box of condoms. It was the same type that I had bought and he removed one quickly, ripped the packet open and rolled it onto me. I squeezed out more lube and coated myself in it and then held my shaft upright as he rose up onto his knees and began to guide himself onto it. I felt the tip enter him and then his tight muscles gripping me as he sank down another inch or two, his fingers digging into my shoulders as he stretched more to accommodate me. Gradually he lowered himself until I was buried deep within him and I rested my hands on his waist, my body shuddering with the intense pleasure of being gripped by his tight heat. Slowly he began to move, lifting up until only half my length was inside of him, then sliding down carefully. I grasped his cock in my hand and began to pump it in time with his movements, quickening my pace as he rose up and down faster and faster until his butt was slapping against my thighs each time he lowered himself.

"Holy shit," I panted. "So good...so close...harder..."

Edward's body moved faster, his ass gripping and massaging me as he bounced and gyrated and my hand mirrored his rhythm, feeling the base of his cock begin to swell and pulse as my own orgasm rushed through me. His cum exploded from him onto my chest and he pushed himself down hard, grinding on my lap and squeezing me tighter as I emptied myself into the rubber and I rolled my head back against the wall, panting and groaning, my chest heaving.

"Fuck...Edward...amazing..." I gasped.

"Love you," he breathed, grinning and shivering.

"Love you too."

Slowly he slid off of me and I disposed of the condom, grabbing tissues to wipe my chest before I lowered myself into my back and stretched out, Edward's head coming to rest against my shoulder. We lay there in silence, just holding each other and enjoying each other's company as we slowly recovered. An hour passed and then our lips sought each other's, gentle caresses quickly becoming heated again, erections growing and nudging eagerly against each other. I loved that we could share everything, just like we had before and I began to long for Edward to fuck me again.

"How do you want to do it?" he asked me as we idly stroked each other.

"Remember what your favourite position used to be?"

"Wolf style," he grinned.

I turned over onto my stomach and pulled myself up, hands and knees braced apart, feeling ridiculously embarrassed and exposed. I lowered my head and pressed my face into the pillow as Edward moved down the bed, kneeling between my legs and stroking his hands lightly over my butt and the backs of my thighs, then up between then, cupping my balls and squeezing the base of my cock. I groaned and my discomfort quickly vanished as he rubbed and teased for a minute, then took his hands off and placed them on my butt again, stretching my cheeks apart.

"Fuck!"

My exclamation was muffled by the pillow as I felt the warm wetness of his tongue swipe over my hole and then a puff of his breath on the damp area as he laughed softly. His tongue touched me again, circling and probing, joined by a finger which he pushed gently into me. When he withdrew it, the tip of his tongue poked at me and I groaned and squirmed helplessly, reaching down to grasp my cock and stroke it as he continued licking and nibbling. I looked back at my own cock as I pumped it slowly, my balls swinging as I gyrated my hips. Behind me, Edward was kneeling, his own erection rearing up from between his thighs.

"Oh, God," I moaned. "Please..."

He drew his head back and blew gently, cool air tickling my hole and making me shudder and him giggle. Then he reached for the lube and coated the fingers of one hand in it, quickly sliding one and then two into me and beginning to stretch me. I stopped touching myself and clenched my fists on the mattress, desperate to make myself come, but wanting him inside of me first. It seemed an interminable length of time before he finished preparing me and grabbed another condom, putting it on himself quickly and covering his length in more lube. I continued watching between my legs as he positioned himself and began guiding himself into me, an inch at a time, his balls dangling behind my own and his hands now gripping my hips. His shaft brushed my prostate, his tip reaching a deeper spot than it had been able to when I lay on my back and I moaned loudly, my body feeling impossibly stretched and full, but not uncomfortable.

"Ok?" Edward murmured, holding still within me.

"Fuck...yes...unh..."

He began to move slowly, only picking up speed when I thrust back against him, gripping the end of the bed with both hands and rocking my hips back and forth. Gradually he plunged harder and faster into me until his body was slapping against mine, his balls bumping me rhythmically, his breathing harsh and fast, interspersed with grunts and groans. I took my cock in my hand again and began to pump it vigorously, my orgasm approaching rapidly as Edward fucked me. I came hard, spurting onto the mattress in front of me, feeling my ass tighten around him and squeeze him tightly. A few more thrusts and he was coming too, holding himself deep in me and grinding against my butt as he rode out his orgasm. When he slid out of me I sank down onto my belly, still panting, grimacing when my skin came into contact with the wet patch on the sheet. Edward stretched out next to me and I reached out to rest one hand on him, feeling his hot skin slick and slippery, his heart hammering in his chest. We didn't move for a little while, but then eventually dragged ourselves into the bathroom to shower. Once again Edward's bed needed stripping and we spent the night in mine.

Despite our lack of time as the exams approached, me managed to make love two or three times a week, finding a few hours here and there around classes, study and work. As soon as the exams were over, we planned to arrange our accommodation for the following year, move our belongings out of the room ready for whoever was to take it over in September and then head back to Neah Bay for the summer.

As Edward had suggested, Carlisle had invited us to spend as much time as we wanted at their house and advised that our old room was ready for us, Edward's piano waiting for him in the old music room. We decided to divide our time between my family and the Cullens and take a week out to go camping, as well as visiting Embry and Leah in La Push. My parents didn't mind at all that we wanted to spend at least some time with Edward's new-found 'adoptive' family and at the end of the summer when we returned to Seattle, we would have a proper home to call ours for the next three years.

* * *

**I'm excited to find that Reunited has been nominated under "Best Slash" in the Non-Canon Awards so if you're enjoying reading it and you don't mind taking a moment out of your time to vote, thank you in advance...**

**non-canonawards blogspot com**

**In addition, my other story Betrayal, which I just completed, is nominated under "Best Crossover" on the same site :o)**


	27. Chapter 27

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

The last few weeks of the semester went by in a rush of study, exams, working, making love and planning the summer holidays. Edward turned nineteen, although he didn't tell anyone it was his birthday. I guessed because my own birthday was the same date as it had been the first time around and he had once mentioned his was in June so I assumed it would be the same. I bought him a small gift and took him out for a romantic dinner, knowing he would hate having a fuss made just as much as I did. Why else would he keep quiet about it? He appreciated the small celebration with just me and later the Cullens called to wish him many happy returns, Emmett teasing him that by rights, he should be two hundred and two.

During the last two weeks before the holidays we searched more seriously for an apartment to live in for the next three years, finding a few suitable options although Edward mentioned the one with the balcony a couple of times and I actually went to look at it from the outside when he was working, wistfully gazing up at the building and calculating my finances in my head. I could definitely afford half of the bills, but it still bugged me that I wouldn't be able to pay into the deposit. However, the next time I looked at the website, the apartment was no longer listed and had clearly been rented by someone else. Now it was the final weekend before we left Seattle for the long summer and we still hadn't found anywhere to live. I was sprawling on my bed poring over the laptop worriedly, while Edward played something on his keyboard, seemingly relaxed.

"We're probably gonna have to take what we can get and move again next year," I sighed when he paused at the end of a composition.

"I have something to tell you." He switched the keyboard off and put it aside, crossing the room to join me.

"What?"

"You're probably not going to like it." Now he did look anxious.

"Why? Are you leaving me?" I teased.

"No." The corner of his mouth twitched upwards briefly and he pushed his glasses up his nose. I closed the laptop and sat up.

"What is it then?"

"You know the apartment with the balcony?"

"Uh huh."

"Well...um..." He took his glasses off and dragged his other hand through his hair, his cheeks colouring. "Don't be mad."

Realisation began to dawn as I stared at him and I understood why he seemed unconcerned by our lack of options. He probably paid the deposit to make sure we got the place and hadn't wanted to say so in case I protested again about not being able to contribute.

"What did you do?" I asked.

"I paid the deposit, two weeks ago, I knew you liked it; I did too, it's perfect and I didn't want us to lose out," he said in a rush. "I'm sorry, I should have told you."

"Yeah, you should have." I was relieved that we had a home to go to and the very one that was exactly what we wanted, but also annoyed that he didn't even tell me until now.

"I just didn't want anyone else to get it and I thought...I don't know, at the time I thought it would be a nice surprise and then right away I wished I told you first and then I thought you'd be pissed we didn't do it together and I kept putting it off," he babbled.

"Please tell me you haven't already filled it with expensive furniture."

"No, not one thing. Not even an...inflatable mattress." He gave me a small hopeful smile. "I haven't even been to look at it since I got the keys."

I chewed my lip and looked at him thoughtfully. Why was I annoyed? He got what we both wanted. It wasn't even that he didn't tell me really, I acknowledged; it was only my stupid pride at having to let him pay the deposit because I couldn't and I'd already agreed to it when we talked about this before, if it ended up being our best option. I relaxed and smiled, grasping his hand in mine.

"You haven't been to look at it?"

"No..."

"It's about time we did, then. You know, we could take the stuff over there that we won't need at home, rather than drag it all back to Neah Bay. And maybe we should look for an inflatable mattress...or something. And a couch?"

Edward laughed and got to his feet. "Are you sure it's ok?"

"Yes, it's ok. Looking at what's actually available now, it's lucky you did get it."

A few minutes later we were heading for the apartment on foot to check it out and I discovered that it was everything the ad had promised - spacious with a well-equipped kitchen and a great view from the balcony. The bedroom had fitted cupboards and drawer space so all we would really need was a bed and maybe a lamp to stand next to it. The bathroom was much bigger than the one we had in the student block and as I looked at the bathtub, I could immediately picture us in there together, up to our necks in bubbles, teasing each other beneath the water.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Edward said in my ear, leaning against my back and sliding his arms around my waist.

"Sharing the bath?"

"Mmm."

"I can't wait to move in. Thank you for making sure we got this place." I turned towards him and gave him a kiss. He returned it warmly and then backed away, pulling a bunch of keys out of his pocket.

"There was only one set of keys so I got another one cut. These are yours." He gave me a small metal key chain with a carved wolf on it, with three keys attached, for the outer door of the building, the apartment door and the one which opened onto the balcony.

"Where'd you find the wolf?" I grinned.

"In the market. I found it weeks ago; I just didn't have a use for it then."

I leaned closer and gave him another kiss.

"Let's go shopping for furniture."

He nodded and we left the building, heading for a large furniture store nearby which provided budget ranges of furniture aimed at students. We easily found an affordable bed complete with sets of bedding, a couch for the lounge and a cupboard for the TV to sit on, plus a small decorative iron table and two chairs to go on the balcony. Edward gave me cash for half the cost and I paid for the items on a card, arranging for them to be delivered to the apartment in the middle of the week, knowing at least one of us would be free to let the delivery guys in.

When we returned to college, we ran into Mark and Blair, who I knew had found a two-bedroom apartment a subway ride away in the same block as one that Della and Candace had chosen.

"Still homeless?" Mark teased. "You can crash on our floor if you want - ten bucks a night."

"Real generous, friend," I muttered.

"We're not homeless," Edward said smugly. "We got an apartment."

"An awesome one," I added. "Big rooms, balcony with a view and everything."

"You got a fucking balcony?" Blair exclaimed. "Jeez, how much is that costing?"

"Not much more than yours," I grinned.

"Are you having a house warming?"

"No," I said at once. "But you can come over and look. You can help us move some of stuff over there tomorrow if you want."

"I will, Blair's working," Mark agreed.

The following day Mark accompanied Edward and me in the truck with all of our boxes and bags of belongings that we weren't going to need through the summer and unloaded them into our new home.

"Damn, you two are so lucky!" Mark exclaimed, the minute he stepped through the door. "How is it not at least double the cost of my place?"

"Well...um..." I cleared my throat and gestured around me. "How many rooms are there?"

"Only one bedroom?" Mark's eyes widened. "Keen, aren't you? Shit, even if Della begged I wouldn't live with her; not yet. We're too young."

"We know what we want," Edward said.

"Clearly. Well, good luck." He walked through the bedroom to the door and peered out onto the balcony. "This is awesome. You don't even want to see the hole me and Blair have got. There were something like ten people after every apartment."

"That's the advantage of this place," I grinned. "None of the other students are looking for a single bedroom."

Mark continued to poke around, looking in the bathroom and around the kitchen, inviting himself for dinners and to hang out as he did so. Once we had unloaded our belongings, stashing the boxes against the lounge wall for the time being, we went back to college.

I had one final exam Wednesday, in the form of a practical coaching session and then I was done. Edward was free that day, which was when the furniture was arriving so he arranged to go over to the new apartment and let the guys in. Thursday he had to write one final history paper and then we were free to leave, which we planned to do Friday morning. We would come back to Seattle the week before school started again in September to give ourselves time to settle into our new home and get some time alone, which was probably going to be very limited at my house or the Cullens'.

We couldn't resist spending Thursday night in the new apartment. The furniture was still wrapped in the plastic sheeting it had been delivered in, but we drove there as soon as Edward finished his exam, uncovered everything and made the bed up with one of the new sets of bedding, which was in grey and white stripes. I had noticed a Chinese restaurant two blocks down the street and I went there on foot to fetch dinner while Edward unpacked the box we had brought with us which held our cutlery and crockery and so on.

We ate our first meal in our new home sitting on the new couch with plates on our laps and then Edward washed the dishes while I unpacked our toiletries, towels and so on and searched for the lube and condoms. I knew I hadn't packed them and I hadn't thought to ask Edward, but I found them in a plastic bag with his shower gel and shampoo. I put them on top of one of the cabinets which were fitted in the corners either side of the bed, reminding myself not to leave them there when we left Seattle the next morning.

I pulled my wallet out of my pocket and checked the contents, my pulse quickening as I noted the two rings tucked into the coin pouch. I had removed them from the long chain earlier and intended to take Edward to Ruby Beach at some point during the summer. We knew we would get married one day, but I still needed to ask him properly and there seemed no point waiting. The rings had been burning a hole in the pocket of my leather jacket since Esme gave them back to us and I knew Edward must have been thinking about it too. As yet I hadn't been able to remember what I said to him when I proposed before. I knew I had told him first that I had spoken to Sam and Carlisle and their cousin, Eleazar and all three had told me that marriage between a wolf and a vampire wouldn't be accepted. What I couldn't remember was the words I actually said to him afterwards, however brief they might have been, but I was sure they would come to me if we went to the spot we had stood in before.

We went to bed early, eager to try out our new purchase while still leaving us time to get plenty of sleep with the long drive ahead of us. The mattress was firm and I found the strong, carved wooden headboard ideal for bracing my hands against when Edward was pounding into me from behind. Afterwards we slept deeply and woke to find with amusement that we had only used half of the available space, moulded to each other in our sleep as always.

We left early the next morning and went back to college to empty our room of the last few items and clothes that we intended to take with us, then I waited with the truck while Edward returned the entry cards to the campus warden. We were on the road by ten o'clock, excited to be heading home, taking our time with the journey and stopping off for gas and lunch half way back.

When we finally pulled into our street on the Reservation, Claire and Chloe could be seen playing in front of the house and as I parked up, they rushed to Edward's door and pulled it open, virtually dragging him out of the truck in their eagerness to welcome him.

"I see, your own brother's not important any more," I said, pretending to be offended until the pair eventually put Edward down and turned towards me.

"Edward's our brother too, silly," Claire said.

Dad came out then and gave each of us a hug before helping us to carry the contents of the truck into the house. As usual Mom had spent most of the day baking and we sat in the kitchen nibbling cookies as we told the family about our exams, our new apartment and our plans for the summer. Mom and Dad already knew we intended to spend some time with the Cullens, but the girls were disappointed to discover they wouldn't have us at their beck and call for the entire holidays.

"We won't be far away, we can come over any time you want," I said. "We'll be going to La Push a few times too, to see Embry and Leah."

I had been talking on the phone regularly to Embry and was sad to hear Leah had been unwell. Wolves never got sick, but the pair were over one hundred years old and had long since stopped phasing and Leah had succumbed to a nasty bout of pneumonia. She was on the mend now, however, and I had promised we would visit in a few days.

We spent most of the weekend with my sisters, taking them shopping in PA and to the beach for a picnic, paddling and building sandcastles, spending our nights squeezed into the bottom bunk, desperate to make love and having to make do with solo jerking off sessions in the shower to relieve the pressure.

"God, we have to find somewhere to be alone," I groaned on Monday as we drove off to La Push, finally alone. "Not touching you is killing me."

"Pull over," Edward responded.

"Huh?"

"Pull over. There, look." He pointed to a turning up ahead which led towards the edge of the forest and I slowed the truck quickly and steered it off the highway. "What are you thinking?"

"That it's early, most people are at work and we're probably not gonna get caught."

"Fuck, Edward," I muttered.

My cock was already coming to life, pushing at the front of my cut-offs and Edward reached out to palm it through the fabric as I guided the truck onto a rough track, continuing until we were well hidden from the road. As soon as I killed the engine, he was unzipping me, tugging at both pants and shorts until I lifted my butt and let him slide them down.

"Hell, you are keen," I groaned and his hand grasped me, his thumb stroking over the head of my cock.

"It's been killing me too," he said.

I turned sideways on the seat and leaned against the door of the truck as he scooted backwards and lowered his head, drawing my length into his mouth and sucking firmly. Three and a half days seemed like an eternity when you're nineteen, in love and horny as hell ninety per cent of the time.

With Edward's hot and eager mouth encasing me and his hand gripping me, following the movement of his lips up and down, it didn't take me long to finish. I was clutching at the steering wheel, eyes closed, head hanging back out of the open window, my butt thrusting up off of the seat as I came, crying out much too loudly and not caring if the odd hiker should be out in the forest listening. The relief was intense and I sprawled there panting, reluctantly tucking myself away as I watched Edward unfasten his jeans and begin rubbing himself through his shorts. There was a damp patch on the fabric and he moaned softly as he touched himself, eyes half closed, his cheeks flushed with arousal.

"Hell, you are so fucking hot," I groaned. "You didn't bring lube with you, by any chance?"

He shook his head slowly.

"We need to go camping, or something." I pushed myself away from the door and moved towards him. "Come here, let me do that."

"Wait."

I hesitated as he kicked his sneakers off suddenly and half stood, shoving both jeans and shorts down in one quick movement before lowering himself back onto the seat clad in nothing but a t-shirt and his socks. He leaned back against his own door, one knee bent up against the back of the seat and the other hanging off the edge, his thighs spread wide, his cock quivering eagerly against his belly.

"Fuck," I hissed. Sometimes Edward could be incredibly sexy and seductive and he didn't even seem to try to be like that. It still surprised me when I thought of how he was when I first met him. Now I moved towards him and bent over his erection, guiding it into my mouth and stroking with one hand as I sucked, cupping his balls with the other and squeezing lightly. He squirmed on the seat, gyrating and lifting his hips to thrust into my throat, whimpering and groaning, his thighs trembling. I released his balls and slid two fingers into the corner of my mouth to wet them, then reached down and stroked my index finger over his hole, teasing it and feeling him shudder with longing.

"Please..." he begged and I carefully slid first one finger and then two into his tight heat as I continued working his cock with my mouth. I stretched my fingers upwards and forward, feeling for his prostate and quickly finding it, making him yelp and writhe, his hips jerking erratically as he attempted to fuck my mouth and grind himself onto my fingers at the same time. He came hard, moaning and swearing and I swallowed every drop before releasing him quickly and sitting up. His cries had been louder than mine and suddenly I was convinced someone must have heard us, maybe even seen us. Edward wriggled back into his clothes, still panting, his wild hair damp on his forehead, hands shaking. When he was done he leaned towards me and his lips touched mine.

"That was so good."

"Mmm," I agreed, returning the kiss, sliding my tongue out to stroke the underside of his top lip, letting him taste himself. "We better get out of here."

We drew apart reluctantly and I started the truck, reversing back down the track and turning before rejoining the road. There was still no sign of life and it seemed that we had gotten away with the brief, heated encounter.

We spent most of the day with Embry and Leah and when we left, promised to visit them regularly throughout the holidays. The following day we went to see the Cullens and discovered with relief that our old room was waiting for us whenever we decided we wanted to stay in it. We planned to spend two weeks with my family, then camp for a week and then take them up on their offer, which would hopefully give us some privacy.

"Nobody will bother you when you're in your room," Zara said with a smile. "I don't invade anyone's privacy when they close their door."

I felt my face heat up at this comment and when I glanced at Edward, he was scarlet, which quickly had Emmett laughing.

"It's so funny seeing you blush," he teased. "I keep forgetting you're not like us now."

It took me the rest of the week to actually do something about the rings in my wallet, which I checked on every day, filled with nervous excitement at the thought of proposing. I wondered whether I should speak to my parents about it first, but then dismissed the idea. They loved Edward and were happy for us to be together, but I wasn't sure they would think planning to get married at nineteen was such a good idea. I could imagine Dad saying it would be better for us to wait until we finished college and maybe that would be true for anybody else, but we weren't like anyone else. It was the second time for us and putting it off any more seemed pointless. Hopefully my parents would see that too.

I asked Mom to make us a picnic to take to the beach, choosing a day when Claire and Chloe had already planned to go out with a friend and her parents. I hated making excuses not to spend time with them and they would be upset about me taking Edward to the beach without them if they were home. I found an old rug to take with us and put towels and lube and condoms into a large bag, hoping we would somehow get the opportunity to make use of the latter. I checked my pocket to ensure my wallet was there and we set off towards the south around ten-thirty. I hadn't told Edward where we were going exactly, only that it was to the beach and he assumed I meant La Push until we drove past the Forks turning and continued in the same direction.

"Which beach are we going to?" he asked then.

"One we went to a long time ago. The first time we really played together."

"Ruby Beach?"

"Yeah."

Edward grinned. "I hope there's no one about."

"I brought lube just in case, it's wrapped in one of the towels," I said.

"God, don't tell me that now," he groaned. "It's all I'm going to be able to think about."

"You know, you have a really dirty mind," I teased. "I'll have to see what I can do to take your mind off it."

"Take my mind off your cock? You're welcome to try," he snickered.

We were lucky in that Ruby Beach was virtually deserted. As was usual for Washington, the sky was overcast, the grey clouds scurrying along in front of a brisk breeze, the sea almost the same colour as it rolled up the beach, looking less than inviting. Other than a couple with a dog and one family playing ball some distance away, we were alone. We carried the things we had brought from the truck down to the sand dunes and spread out the rug, placing the picnic basket on one corner and the bag of towels on another. I considered starting on the picnic right away, since it was almost time for lunch by then, but I knew I wouldn't be able to eat much now the time had come. I could feel the pressure of my wallet in my pants pocket pressing against my thigh and the rings inside were in the forefront of my mind. How would I do it? My heart raced and I wiped my palms on the rug, hoping Edward wouldn't notice how nervous I was. I felt foolish, knowing what his answer was going to be, but still anxious about asking.

'Just do it,' I told myself.

Edward was sitting cross-legged on the rug, staring out at the wintery looking sea, not paying any attention to what I was doing for once. I pulled my wallet out slowly and placed it on the rug next to my leg, out of his line of sight should he turn to look at me. My heart was banging against my ribs and I fumbled the coin pouch undone, drawing the two gold hoops out and clutching them in my palm.

"What are you doing?" Edward glanced back towards me. "Are we having the picnic? I'm starving."

"Yes, in a minute." I shuffled closer and sat next to him, taking his left hand in my right one.

"You're shaking, are you ok?" He turned his head again and met my eyes.

"I'm fine." I licked my lips and remembered when we had been here before. I remembered what I said to him; how I explained my efforts in trying to work out a way for us to marry properly and that in the end, all we could do was do it alone, unofficially, with rings, but without the priest or the certificate. I remembered my short question that he had answered with a simple 'yes.' All I had to do was repeat it, but without the use of the word 'wolf' when I referred to myself.

"I want to ask you something," I said.

Edward's green eyes seemed to sparkle, their dark mossy shade lightening, the expression in them adoring. He knew what I was going to ask; he was probably remembering every little detail in his head the same way I was.

"What is it?" he whispered.

"We both know fate has brought us back to this point and that we're meant to spend our lives together. I love you with all my heart. Edward Masen Cullen...will you make me the happiest man on earth by marrying me?"

I opened my palm, holding it in front of him with the two rings shining there. He glanced down briefly and then looked back into my eyes.

"Yes," he said softly. That was all. It was all that was needed.

"Would you like to wear these?" I asked. "Maybe on the right hands until we can actually marry?"

He nodded at once and picked up the larger ring, sliding it almost reverently onto my finger.

"I love you so much, Jacob," he said.

"I love you too." I reached for his right hand and placed the smaller ring on the third finger, then cupped his face in my hands and kissed him softly. My heart continued to race as we held each other, but now it was with nothing more than the powerful feelings I had for him.


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N Check out this great new story from one of my favourite authors - "Sins of the Father" by SoundShield11. Really original idea and definitely worth taking the time to have a read. Don't forget to leave him a review :o)**

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

Despite the beach being so deserted, we didn't risk actually doing anything there although we found another deserted track to park the truck on, obscured from the road by trees and bushes and had awkward sex in the vehicle with Edward straddling my lap and leaning back against the dash. I was very tempted to suggest we just went to find a motel and stayed there for the rest of the day and night, but instead, we had a lot of people to tell about our engagement.

Eventually we drove north again and stopped off to see Embry and Leah first. Leah was still looking very frail after her illness, but both of them were delighted that we were getting a second chance to live our lives the way we wanted to and were quick to congratulate us. We stayed only an hour before we headed for the Cullens' house, but were disappointed to find some of them out hunting and Carlisle at the hospital. Only Esme, Emmett, Zara and Tanya were home and amusingly Zara picked up on our thoughts before we even climbed the steps to the porch. The door flew open as I reached up to ring the bell, to reveal Emmett with a wide grin on his face.

"Congratulations!" he bellowed, grabbing Edward and jerking him up the last two steps into a hug that almost crushed him.

"Emmett, put me down before you break my ribs," he panted.

"Sorry, keep forgetting you're human." The big vampire backed off and reached out to shake my hand. "Must be good not having everybody against it this time. I hope that means you're not going to sneak off and tie the knot without us."

"We wouldn't dare," I smirked. "So you don't mind having me for an official sort of adopted brother-in-law?"

"Jerk, I always saw you as one anyway, even though I couldn't stand the smell of you. Come in and see the others; Carlisle's at the hospital and Jasper and Charlotte went hunting, but they shouldn't be long."

We stayed a couple hours at the house. Jasper and Charlotte returned before we left and all of them seemed delighted by our news. It was vastly different from the first time around when Carlisle had very firmly told me I couldn't marry Edward and afterwards when we did it anyway, even unofficially, they had all been very wary and worried that our union would result in an attack by the Volturi. We had only enjoyed a year of being married before it had been over for us.

"That's not going to happen this time," Zara said. "Obviously I wasn't here then, but I heard the whole story. So sad."

"Don't even think about last time," Jasper put in. "I'm sure you're going to end up old and grey and decrepit together in about sixty years from now."

"Grey and decrepit? Thanks," Edward teased. "I'd say 'speak for yourself', but it's not really going to happen, is it?"

"I'll be two hundred and fifty-nine this year, if I'm not grey now..." Jasper smirked.

When we left, Esme promised to get Carlisle to call us in the morning after his long shift finished and then we were heading home. Telling my parents was the one thing that did make me nervous, just because I feared they would think it was too soon. In their eyes, we had known each other less than a year and been together only six months, prior to which I'd had a girlfriend, but at the same time they did know about and believe in our past so hopefully it would be ok.

Claire and Chloe were home from their day out when we arrived, playing some game on the floor of the lounge. Dad was watching TV and Mom in the kitchen beginning to prepare dinner. She followed us into the lounge as we went to sit down.

"Did you enjoy the picnic?"

"Yes, thank you, Louise," Edward said. He was hiding his right hand beneath his left and blushing and Dad glanced at him curiously.

"Um...we want to tell you something," I began.

"What is it?" Chloe asked at once, turning away from the game.

"Sounds serious," Mom said lightly, perching on the arm of Dad's chair. He silenced the TV and turned to look at us.

"Well...um..." I licked my dry lips. "I asked Edward to marry me."

"You're getting married?" Claire leaped to her feet and hurled herself onto my lap, her thin arms wrapping tight enough around my neck to strangle me. Chloe, unable to get at me, pounced on Edward instead.

"You did say yes, didn't you?" she demanded.

"Yes," Edward laughed.

"Awesome!"

"Alright, girls, that'll do, let them alone," Mom said and the pair climbed off us reluctantly and hovered. Mom was smiling, but she looked at Dad and waited for him to say something. I found I was holding my breath and I reached my right hand out and grasped Edward's left, watching my parents' eyes immediately land on the rings.

"Are you completely sure about this, Jacob?" Dad asked. "It's awful quick."

"I'm sure," I said firmly. I wanted to add that it wasn't as if we hadn't been here before, but I didn't want to confuse my sisters. "We love each other," I added instead. "That's not going to change."

"You don't think it'd be better to wait until you finish college?"

"That's three years away and we don't want to wait that long."

"Well, I won't pretend it's not a surprise, but..." Dad grinned suddenly. "I should shut my mouth and just say I...your mother and I are both happy for you." He got to his feet and gestured to me to get up and hug him. "Congratulations, son. You too, Edward."

"Thank you, Tom," Edward said quietly. He was still red, but looking enormously relieved. Mom went to him and bent to give him a kiss.

"So, you're not going to rush this and get married this summer, are you?" she said. "I need time to buy an outfit."

I laughed and shook my head. "You'll have plenty of time."

"Do you have a date in mind?"

"April thirtieth," I said and I heard Edward say the date at exactly the same time. I turned to look at him and beamed. Of course it had to be that date; we were using the same rings and no doubt almost the same vows - it had to be the same date as well.

It wasn't until my sisters had gone to bed that my parents asked us about it properly and we told them about our first wedding, only saying that our families disapproved and we were too young, so we had exchanged the rings alone and unofficially.

"Are those the original rings?" Mom asked in surprise.

"Yes, Esme had them."

"The family saved them after they...um...buried us and I guess they were still in the house," Edward added quickly.

"So many remarkable coincidences," Dad mused. "But I suppose it shouldn't be so surprising. Fate's dealt out a fair few surprises in the last year; we ought to have gotten used to it."

It felt good to have the support of both my family and Edward's. We saw the Cullens as his family now and they saw him as their long lost brother who had returned from a long time away. This time both families would be there for us when we exchanged vows. Mom had fetched her diary to note the date in it and pointed out that April thirtieth of the next year was a Wednesday when we should have been in college, suggesting that we go for the twenty-sixth instead, but both of us had immediately said that it _had_ to be the thirtieth. If we had to miss a couple days college and got no honeymoon, it didn't matter.

A few days later, finally we got our chance to be alone. We had been talking about going camping and already dug out the camping equipment from the garage, putting the tent up in the yard to waterproof it after more than a year in storage and checking we had everything else we needed. Claire and Chloe begged to go with us, but Mom quickly refused, saying they could sleep in the tent for a night in the yard and that was it. I knew the pair would never have been allowed to camp for a whole week without either parent anyway, but was still grateful for Mom's firm insistence that Edward and I get some time to ourselves.

We set off at last, the back of the truck loaded with the gear and covered with a tarp in case of rain, heading into the foothills of the Rockies and driving as far as we could before the ground was too rough and too steep. Then I parked up and we looked for a suitable spot to pitch the tent. It was early afternoon and we had plenty of time to set up the camp, but both of us fumbled eagerly with tent poles and pegs in our haste to get the thing up so we could have some alone time in it.

It had been way too long since we had been together properly without having to rush and struggle in the truck and as I pumped up the large airbed, I couldn't wait to be lying on it with Edward. My blood began to rush to my groin as I pictured us naked and entwined and I shuddered, adjusting my jeans and wishing I had worn cut-offs. I looked over at Edward, hammering the last couple of tent pegs in, bent over with his firm butt sticking up in the air and my balls ached. Absently I rubbed the heel of my hand over my crotch and let out a quiet groan. Edward stood up and turned towards me, grinning and staring at my hand.

"Can't you wait?"

"I'm so fucking hard," I grumbled, unplugging the mattress from the air pump and shoving the stopper in.

"I can see." He took the mattress from me and went to put it in the tent, then returned to me quickly and stepped close, wrapping his hand around my wrist. "Stop touching yourself."

I put both hands on his waist instead and brushed my lips against his, sucking my breath in suddenly as he touched me himself, the palm of his hand rubbing over my straining erection.

"Let's leave the rest of the unpacking for now," I said through my teeth. "You're killing me."

I pushed him away from me and headed for the tent quickly, removing my boots and unfastening my jeans, sighing as the pressure reduced slightly. Edward grabbed a bag from the truck and followed me, zipping the tent entrance closed behind him. He opened up the bag and took out lube and condoms, then began undressing at top speed. We didn't bother taking our time, undressing each other teasingly with kisses and stroking the way we often did. We just wanted each other desperately and soon we were in each other's arms, our bodies grinding against each other to seek some much needed friction. Edward had been just as hard as I was, I discovered, his cock eagerly springing free from his pants the minute he unfastened them and now he was thrusting it against mine, the tip leaking and lubricating us, his hand clutching at my butt to pull me tighter against him.

"God, Jacob," he panted, his hips gyrating rapidly. He was virtually humping my leg and another time I would have loved to just lie there and let him do just that until he came all over me, but I wanted more.

"Tell me what you want," I gasped.

"Fuck me. Now. I need your cock in me."

He backed off a little, grabbed the lube and squeezed some into my hand, raising one knee to part his legs enough to give me access to prepare him while he ripped open a condom packet and began rolling the rubber onto me. I pushed one finger into him and then a second, groaning at the feel of his hot, tight tunnel, knowing my cock was going to be buried in there in just a couple more minutes. I was aching and leaking into the condom, my balls tight and throbbing and I knew it was probably going to be the fastest finish in a long time. I carefully added a third finger and Edward whimpered and pushed himself against my hand, stroking himself urgently as I stretched him.

"I'm ready," he encouraged then, pulling off of me and turning around, positioning himself on hands and knees. Usually this was his favourite position to take me, although I loved it myself too, being able to drive myself balls deep and feel every inch of my cock gripped by him. Shuddering, I moved behind him and he shifted his knees further apart, his tight pink hole visible, glistening from the lube. I lined myself up quickly and pushed the head of my cock slowly in, holding onto his hips as I sank deeper, a little at a time, my body shaking with the effort of holding back.

"Oh, God..." Edward groaned, hanging his head and letting his upper body sink towards the mattress. "I'm so close already."

"Me too." I was flush with his hips, buried to the hilt and I reached around him, holding still while I gave his erection a few firm pumps. Quickly he pushed my hand off and gripped it himself.

"I'll do that, just...fuck me."

I pulled back, my fingers digging into his flesh and then drove myself deep again, making him yelp as I struck his prostate.

"More," he moaned. His hand was already flying over his cock, his arm moving rapidly and I began thrusting quicker, picking up speed and withdrawing a little further each time until I was slamming my length into him, my balls slapping against him and my orgasm approaching fast. Both of us were too desperate to take our time and savour it; we just needed to come, and come hard.

"Please...harder," Edward begged, his voice muffled as he pressed his face against the mattress, knuckles white as he clutched the edge of it with his free hand. He was tightening around me, almost coming and the tight pressure was too much. The ball of heat coiling inside me was ready to explode and I gave a few more hard thrusts before I was filling the condom, shouting out my pleasure, relieved when Edward tightened more and spurted onto the mattress, his whole body shaking as I let myself rest against his back.

"Fuck...fuck..." he was panting.

I pulled myself upright and lifted him up until he was virtually sitting in my lap, my erection slowly beginning to soften and slip out of him.

"Are you ok?"

"Unh..."

"Did I hurt you?"

"Ah uh." He shook his head breathlessly, his chest heaving. "So good."

I kissed his neck, tasting salt. "I've never been so desperate to come."

He chuckled quietly. "If there's anyone within ten miles, they probably heard us. You were loud. More than usual."

"You didn't hear yourself. 'More! Harder!' Slut," I teased, caressing his warm cheek with my lips. "I love you."

"I love you too." He pulled out of my arms now and turned to face me. "We better get the rest of the stuff unpacked. It's not going to take long to recover and I want my turn."

"Slut," I repeated with a smirk, realising that he hadn't taken me since we left college. We had only managed that one time in the truck since. I scrambled up, disposed of the condom and wiped myself with my shorts, then pulled on the rest of my clothes and opened up the tent. By the time Edward was dressed, I had found the bedding which consisted of several blankets rather than sleeping bags, so that we could still sleep in each other's arms. I made the bed up and placed the cooking equipment in the front part of the tent along with the small fold-out table and chairs and then Edward joined me to get the last few things, just as it began to rain.

"Typical," I muttered.

"What does it matter? We're not exactly going to go hiking now," Edward reasoned.

"I don't really care if it rains all week," I grinned. "We can just spend all our time in bed."

I zipped up the tent entrance again as the rain began to fall more heavily and removed my boots again. I was already feeling a stirring in my pants and now that we had relieved some pressure, we could enjoy each other properly, take our time. We undressed again and lay down together, holding each other close. I could feel Edward's heartbeat keeping time with mine, his erection growing eagerly against mine, his hand warm as it stroked lightly over my back, making my spine tingle. I looked down at us, limbs entwined, his pale skin and copper hair contrasting with my caramel colour and I hugged him tighter against me. He was my life and I hoped that just like Jasper said, we would still be here to enjoy it in sixty years, grey and wrinkled, but just as much in love.

"What are you thinking?" Edward murmured.

"Just how happy I am."

"I am too. I never thought I could be this lucky."

"It's not luck, it's fate," I reminded him.

I drew my head back, brushing my lips over his, teasing them apart and deepening the kiss. His tongue met mine and our heartbeats quickened, erections twitching eagerly. I slid my hand between us, holding them both together and rubbing them against each other until Edward pulled away and reached for the lube again.

This time we did make it last. Edward coated his fingers in lube and I propped my leg up so that he could easily reach down between my legs and prepare me while I continued stroking both of together slowly. He inserted one finger and then two, taking his time stretching me and I groaned and squirmed as he tapped my prostate only occasionally, teasing me and making my cock throb and my balls ache for release again. A third finger joined the other two and I thrust myself against him impatiently.

"Stop playing and fuck me," I gasped eventually. "I can't wait any longer."

He withdrew his fingers quickly and grabbed a condom from the box of a dozen we had brought and I had to wonder how long they were going to last. We almost always had sex twice so that we could both do it, which meant they weren't going to last the week, even if we could restrain ourselves enough to only do it once a day each.

Edward interrupted my thoughts by rolling me onto my back and lowering himself over me and I pulled my legs up and relaxed as he pushed against me. He took me slowly, at first barely moving an inch either way inside me, our bodies moulded to each other and his lips teasing mine until eventually we needed more and began thrusting against each other, our grunts and groans loud above the sounds of the forest. My orgasm built steadily and I looked up at Edward as he plunged harder into me, his eyes closed, lips parted as he panted for breath, droplets of sweat beading on his brow and chest, his copper hair damp and dark. He looked hot and sexy and as I stared he opened his eyes and met mine, a faint blush colouring his cheeks as his lips twitched up into a crooked smile. We came together, our eyes still locked, Edward's arms shaking as he held himself above me. Gradually he lowered himself, slipping out of me and resting most of his weight on me as he gasped for breath.

"Not sure how wise it was going camping where there's nowhere to wash," Edward smirked suddenly, sitting up and removing the condom.

"It's pouring with rain; we can get a shower," I grinned. "There's a stream nearby too; it's cold, but good for bathing."

I was certain he thought I was joking, but a little later we were standing outside in the downpour, scrubbing ourselves with showergel and laughing like kids, hoping no one was out there in the storm watching. Afterwards I lit the camping stove and heated tins of stew from the box of supplies Mom had packed and we went to bed early, listening to the screeches of owls and hawks and the rustles, squeaks and scampering of animals on the ground as we fell asleep.

Much of the week passed in a similar manner to that first day. We went fishing to supplement the food supplies, bathed in the icy stream and hiked for miles. By the end of the fourth day the condoms were all gone and I was cursing not having had the foresight to think about making up for lost time when we brought only one box.

"It doesn't matter, does it?" Edward said, flushing slightly. "We can do it without."

"We did before," I remembered and shivered. Every time Edward had filled me with his seed, it had sent chills up my spine and he had repeatedly told me how much he loved my hot fluid within him. Of course there would be no difference in temperature now, but the idea still had my cock twitching in my pants. "It's not as if either of us has ever been with anybody else..."

"...or ever will be." Edward grinned and leaned over to kiss me. "It'll save us a fortune."

"It will if we keep going at this rate."

Fifteen minutes later I was encased in Edward's tight heat, my cock slippery with lube and every nerve-ending tingling, Edward moaning and writhing beneath me, begging me to go harder and deeper, his nails almost cutting through my skin as he clutched at me. Everything was more intense, more sensitive, and afterwards we merely lay together, waiting for our bodies to recover enough for Edward to fuck me. Then I lay face down, my hips lifted just enough to get a hand beneath myself to jerk off while he took me from behind. Afterwards we put on underwear and went to the stream to bathe, teasing each other about the damp patches on our shorts where we had leaked each other's fluid.

The last few days passed by quickly and much too soon it was time to go home. We planned to spend one more week with my family before moving to the Cullens' house for the remainder of the summer, where we could at least get some privacy. We reluctantly took down the tent and packed everything into the truck, treated to a rare sunny day which saved everything under the canvas from getting damp. I covered it with the tarp just in case and then drew Edward into my arms, wanting to linger just a few minutes more before we left our blissful week together behind. It had seemed like a celebration of our engagement; time just for us to enjoy each other.

Suddenly a movement amongst the trees caught my attention and I focussed on the foliage, pointing as Edward turned to follow my gaze.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I don't know, I just saw something move. Maybe an animal?"

We stood watching for a moment and saw another blurred movement as something seemed to appear impossibly fast from the distance and disappear behind the same shrub I was looking at it. Then suddenly Jasper stepped out, grinning sheepishly and waving his hand to indicate whoever else was there should join him - Charlotte.

"Sorry, guys, did we scare you?" He glanced up and halted within the treeline, still in the shade. "We were hunting."

"I forgot how fast you can move," Edward said. "We just saw a blur."

"We've been camping," I explained needlessly. "Typical that the sun comes out just as we're leaving."

Jasper smirked. "You know, you two are awful loud sometimes. We don't always hunt in the daytime."

"Fuck," I muttered, feeling my face flaming.

Edward sniggered and covered his hot cheeks with his hands and Charlotte giggled.

"I guess we better get going," I said awkwardly. "We'll be over at your place next week."

"We're looking forward to it. Esme's planning on stocking enough food to feed the five thousand so you better bring good appetites with you," Jasper grinned.

We made smalltalk for another couple minutes and then climbed into the truck, which I quickly discovered had become bogged down in the damp, muddy ground, having not moved since we arrived. I cursed and tried going forwards, then backwards, succeeding in doing nothing more than churning up the earth.

"Woah! Stop, we'll push you out!" Jasper shouted.

I took the truck out of gear and watched in fascination as he and Charlotte approached the hood and braced their hands on it, their uncovered arms in short sleeves and their faces sparkling like diamonds in the sunlight.

"Holy, shit!" I gasped. "I'd almost forgotten what you looked like."

"You said I was beautiful," Edward murmured.

"You were. Are. Sparkly or not, you're beautiful."

"Saps!" taunted Jasper as the truck suddenly lurched out of the bog onto firmer ground. "There you go; get moving before you sink again. We'll see you next week."

"Thanks!" I called back.

We watched as the two vampires retreated with lightning speed into the forest and then I turned the truck onto the narrow track and we headed for home.


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N I'm over the moon to find out today that "Reunited" won 2nd Place in the "Best Slash" category of the Non-Can Awards! Also my other story which I recently finished, "Betrayal" won 2nd place in the "Best Crossover" category, so thank you, thank you, thank you, to everyone who voted for me!**

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

Our time at the Cullens' house was more relaxed than being at home, in that the building was much larger and we were able to enjoy more privacy. There was no worry about being overheard at night, although Edward and I did our best to stifle our cries when we made love, just in case. Although we initially felt awkward about Zara's mind-reading, she had confirmed she didn't pry behind closed bedroom doors of any member of the family, including us.

We got to know both Zara and Charlotte pretty well and spent a lot of time catching up with Emmett and Jasper. Carlisle had installed Edward's piano in the old music room just as he promised and had asked Edward to play for us, but predictably he was too shy and waited for everyone besides me to be out hunting before he dared touch even one key. A couple days later, however, he was comfortable enough to play for whoever wanted to listen and Esme in particular expressed delight in hearing some of the pieces of music she had loved having Edward play long before I came onto the scene.

We stayed at the house for much of the remainder of the holidays, although we visited Embry and Leah regularly and went back to see my family for a few hours at least twice a week. Living in a house full of vampires very quickly seemed surprisingly normal, obviously because it wasn't really new to us, and we became used to seeing them blur around the house or suddenly appear in a room or through a window.

September came around all too soon and then we were packing again, ready to return to reality and saying reluctant goodbyes to the Cullens before we went back to Neah Bay to spend the last day with my parents and sisters. This time all of the Cullens hugged me as well as Edward, one after another, and I found I was used to their chilly, hard flesh again, laughing at myself when I remembered how I feared Esme even touching my hand when we first visited.

Carlisle had offered the use of their house and grounds for our wedding and we had eagerly agreed after only a brief pause. We had been forced to tie the knot alone on the cliff before, but this time our families wanted to be there for us and where it took place didn't matter. Carlisle and Esme promised to liaise with my parents about any arrangements, rather than just go ahead and organise it and I left Mom their telephone number and explained firmly that we didn't want a lot of fuss. Simple, quiet, with family and close friends only, no party, live music or anything official. We wanted only to exchange rings and vows and sign the piece of paper that we hadn't been able to have the first time around.

We left Neah Bay to head back to Seattle five days before college started, to give us time to settle into our new home. Although we were sad to leave everyone behind again, at the same time we were excited about the apartment and invited Mom and Dad to bring the girls for a visit in a few weeks' time.

Having our own proper home was amazing. There was more space, no need to worry about people walking past our bedroom door and hearing us, we had a proper kitchen and a double bed. We took turns cooking dinners rather than having to live on microwaved snacks or meals from the diner and whoever woke first usually went to make coffee and bring a mug back to bed for the other. We weren't under any illusion that every day was going to continue in complete bliss and knew things would get hard when we were studying and working again, with little time and having to make the journey to and from college instead of living on campus, but even with these minor hardships, we were immensely happy.

Mark and Blair didn't return until Saturday, two days before classes restarted, but they immediately arrived on our doorstep with Della and Candace in tow, armed with cake, flowers and a hideous-looking lamp as a house-warming gift, which Edward gushed over and placed on the end of the cupboard the TV sat on. When we were in the kitchen sorting out snacks for the visitors, I asked in a whisper whether he seriously liked the lamp and his response was that it 'added character'. Clearly the lamp was meant to stay, but I just shrugged. I didn't really care how many unsightly items decorated the apartment, so long as Edward was in it with me.

It didn't take the guys very long to comment on our rings, although I noticed it was actually the girls that saw them and drew their attention to them. I smirked at Edward as I waited for one of them to ask.

"Are those wedding rings?" Blair's eyes were wide.

"Yes."

"You're _married?"_

"No, doofus, they'd be on our left hands if we were," I said. "We are getting married, though. April thirtieth next year."

"Fuck me!" exclaimed Mark.

"I'd rather not."

I glanced at Edward in surprise when he blurted this out and the two girls giggled hysterically.

"Do your parents know?" Blair asked.

"Of course they know. They already treat Edward like he's part of the family; they were cool."

"Don't you think you're awful young to be getting married? Hardly anybody gets married nowadays anyway."

"That's not true," Edward said. "At least forty percent of the population value marriage."

"Sorry, I just don't see the point," Blair replied. "I mean, I get that you want to be together - you're a complete pair of saps around each other - but why bother signing a piece of paper that says you're stuck with it? I bet half the couples that get divorced would still be together if they didn't feel like they were trapped by..."

"Blair, shut up; just because your parents got divorced doesn't mean it's the same for everybody," Mark interrupted. "From what you've told me, it was nothing to do with whether they were married or not. Wasn't your Dad fucking around even before they tied the knot?"

"Yeah." Blair sighed heavily. "Sorry, guys, I didn't mean to sound like I was...belittling what you want. It's just not me, that's all."

"It's ok," I nodded. "I get it. Anyway, it's going to be really quiet, just family, and it's a weekday so..."

"No party or honeymoon? That sucks," Della said. "Doesn't your mother want all the fancy stuff and reception and flowers and speeches and everything?"

"Probably, but she wants us to be happy and have what we want," I said. "My parents and Edward's family are going to arrange a small get together..."

"I didn't think you had any family, Edward?" Blair said with a frown.

"Well...um...I discovered a...an uncle and aunt and cousins I didn't know about. My...father and his brother had a fight before I was born so I never knew them," Edward explained.

The two couples stayed late into the evening and then that left all of us with one more day before we needed to buckle down and work. I was actually looking forward to the start of the new year, although Edward was slightly worried about the fact that he was taking on an extra course in teacher training. For the first year it would take up less time than his creative writing, but then for the two remaining years, the writing course ended and the teaching would increase. The worst part of it for him would be in a few weeks' time when each student was required to lead the class for a half hour session throughout the remainder of the semester. Edward seemed convinced that he would be ineffective in the face of almost twenty other students, expecting him to confidently instruct them.

The first couple weeks were exhausting. We had more study to do and a new group of juvies were introduced for Mark and me to train. Initially they were an obnoxious bunch and it was rare for a session of football or hockey to pass by without a fight breaking out or one young thug verbally or occasionally physically, attacking one of us. It didn't bother me, having to deal with them - after all, once upon a time I had been used to a very angry wolf in the form of Paul Lahote - but it was tiring on top of long hours of study and trying to spend as much time as I could with Edward.

Then came Edward's first effort at taking a class. He had reported that the first two students to have to do it had been heckled mercilessly, the class deliberately squabbling amongst themselves, ignoring the trainee tutor or simply being insolent and refusing to do what they were asked. Their class tutor hadn't intervened unless it became absolutely necessary, stating that all classes were disruptive at some time and that they all needed to experience the worst of it.

"Can I ask you something?" Edward said one night as we sprawled in front of the TV, my head in his lap as he stroked his fingers through my hair.

"Sure, what is it?"

"This teaching thing I have to do..."

"That's really got you worried, hasn't it?" I said. "I'm sure it'll be fine. How was the guy that had to do it today?"

"Ok, I guess. At least he got them to shut up and listen. He had his girlfriend come sit in the class for moral support."

"That's cool."

"I was going to ask if you would sit in my class. It's ten-thirty tomorrow; I know you don't have a class or anything in the morning."

"Of course I will," I said at once. "Clearly the tutor doesn't mind random students showing up, if this other guy's girl was in there?"

"No." Edward shook his head. "It's not in my usual class, it's in the small theatre. Sure you don't mind?"

"Of course I don't mind. Anyone gives you trouble, I'll throw a book at them."

He laughed and bent over to kiss me. "I don't think you'll need to do that; but thank you. I'm not dreading it quite so much now."

It seemed a small thing to do to help him out, but he had probably thanked me a dozen times before he set off to the college the next morning at eight-thirty. He had a history lecture before his teacher training and I had nothing to do, so intended to make my way over to the theatre for around ten-fifteen. In the meantime, I took my time over breakfast and stood in the shower for twenty minutes, dealing with my morning wood alone for once. Eventually I got dressed and made another mug of coffee. Nine-fifteen - I still had forty-five minutes before I needed to head over there.

My cellphone rang as I sipped the coffee and I was surprised to see it was Embry calling. He knew I was back at college now and I would have expected him to call in the evening, but perhaps it was just on the off-chance that I would be free. I answered quickly.

"Hey, Em, how are you?"

"Um...ok. Am I calling at a bad time? I didn't look at the clock; you must be busy..."

He didn't sound ok, he sounded terrible, as if he'd been crying and only just managed to stop and I was immediately filled with apprehension.

"No, I'm not, I'm still in the apartment," I said. "What's wrong?"

"Well...I'm just calling to catch up. How's the new semester going?"

It seemed as if he was putting off telling me something and my heart began to race, but I responded to the smalltalk for a few minutes, waiting for him to talk properly. I could only think that he had something awful to say if he was delaying it the way he was. Eventually he got to it.

"Jacob, I have some sad news...uh..." I heard a loud sniff. "Leah..."

"God, Embry, what happened?" I had an awful feeling, even before he spoke again, that something had happened to Leah. She had seemed so weak after her pneumonia, even weeks after it was gone. I held my breath as I waited for him to continue.

"She's gone, Jacob. Last night. Our grandchildren are here, taking care of things, but I thought you should know."

"Fuck," I whispered. "I'm so sorry. I know how much you loved her."

"I doubt I'd have loved her any more if I'd have Imprinted," he sighed shakily. "You know how abrasive and bossy she was; mostly that didn't seem to apply to me."

"You had a lot of years together," I said, hearing my own voice crack a little.

"More than most people get; happier ones than most people get too."

"Should I come home?" I asked. "I mean, obviously I'll be there for the funeral..."

"No, Jacob, you have college and work and Edward. I just wanted you to know..."

"But I should be there!" I protested. "You were - you _are_ my best friend, Embry!"

"I know that, Jacob. You were always more of a brother to me than just a friend. But I won't be here. I..."

"What do you mean? Where are you going?" I said in surprise. "Leah was chief; surely there'll be a big burial ceremony..."

"Jacob, listen to me," the old man interrupted. "I've had a good run. Hell, a hundred and ten and I still only look seventy. But I've had enough now and I can't be without her."

"What are you saying?" My heart began to pound even more frantically and I remembered exactly how I felt when Edward died all those years ago. Even without the Imprint, I had loved him so deeply that the pain would have been too much; I would have still wanted to follow him. "Don't, Em," I begged.

"It won't be as dramatic as you're imagining right now; my old bones are just ready to give up, that's all. Leah and I have out-lived our children, seen our grandchildren grow and make lives for themselves, and their children too. We had the amazing pleasure of having you and Edward come back into our lives... I've done all I ever wanted to do, Jacob, and it's time for me to just be with my wife."

"God, Embry..." I felt tears running down my face. I had never been able to see him as old, even when I looked at his lined face. Somehow I had expected him to go on forever after I discovered he was still alive and I had no idea how to say goodbye.

"I wish I could see you," I choked.

"I know. I'm sorry to talk to you like this on the phone, but I didn't want Stuart to have to call you with the news."

"I don't know what to say," I said helplessly.

"You don't have to say anything. Just know that Leah and me made the most of every day. You make sure you and Edward do the same. Fate or the spirits, or whatever intervened for you has given you a second chance. Don't waste even a minute."

"We won't. Shit..." I sniffed hard and scrubbed a hand over my eyes. "I wish you could've been at our wedding."

"We will be." I could almost see him smiling. "You won't see us, but there'll be a couple of grey wolves lurking in the trees watching."

"Thanks, Embry."

"Look, I better go, let you get on with your day."

"Ok," I whispered. I wanted to keep him on the phone rather than think about him going to take a nap somewhere and never waking up. "I love you, man," I said.

"I love you too, Jacob."

We didn't say anything else. I couldn't speak, my throat tight and tears running freely down both cheeks. We hung up and I tossed the phone onto the couch next to me, giving way to loud sobs. It had probably been the hardest conversation I'd ever had, after the last one I had with Billy Black, my original father, before he died. I cried for Embry and Leah, and for Billy and also for Edward and me - the original pair, their lives ended so horribly after only one year of marriage. I wondered how the remaining Cullens and the pack felt afterwards, losing us and the others all at the same time, watching me go off to die the same way Embry was doing now, to be with the one we loved more than life. They must have been just as devastated as I was now.

Eventually my sobs subsided into snuffles, my throat dry and sore and my eyes swollen. I curled up on the couch and buried my face in the cushion where I lay thinking for some time. I began to wonder if I could get away with cutting classes that afternoon. I had good reason; maybe if Edward spoke to my coach...

"Fuck!" I jerked upright in horror and looked at the clock. It was eleven-forty-five and Edward's class was over. The class I should have been in, supporting him. I jumped to my feet, furious with myself. I let him down; the one time he asked me to do something, to be there for him when he was worried about something and I didn't show. Losing two of my friends may be an excuse for cutting classes, but it sure as hell wasn't a reason to fail Edward.

The apartment door swung open as he came in, his face pale and stiff. He didn't look at me, but dropped his book bag on the table and went into the bathroom, closing the door after him.

"Fuck," I muttered again. He was pissed. His session had probably been a disaster. I could imagine him standing at the front of the class, looking around the students for me and not seeing me and then the whole sorry bunch giving him a hard time. I waited anxiously for him to come out of the bathroom and when he did, he still said nothing. He walked to the kitchen to make coffee and ignored me.

"Edward..." I went to him and leaned against one of the kitchen counters. "I'm so sorry. I let you down; I meant to be there..."

"Don't worry about it, you did me a favour," he said coolly. "I was pissed you didn't show, but I guess it was obvious. None of the students gave me any shit."

"I'm glad," I answered in a small voice. "But I'm still sorry. I promised..." I cursed silently as a couple more tears escaped and trickled down my cheeks. My heart hurt over Embry and Leah and now I hurt over Edward too.

He glanced at me with a frown. "What are you crying about? It's hardly the end of the world. I'm disappointed, but I'll get over it."

"Well, I feel like shit for letting you down." I sniffed and scrubbed my hands over my face. They came away much wetter than I expected and to my annoyance a hopeless sounding sob escaped.

"What's going on?" Edward asked suddenly. He appeared in front of me and gripped my upper arms. "Why weren't you there? Did something happen?"

"Uh...I got a phone call..."

"From?"

"Embry. Leah...died last night."

"Fuck, Jacob, why didn't you just say?" His arms were around me in a second. "I'm so sorry. I cared for her too; she was one of the first to accept me, along with Embry."

"It's not just her," I continued shakily. "He was calling to say goodbye. He said he doesn't want to go on without her."

"He's going to do something to himself?" Edward gasped.

"No. Just go to sleep. His body's had enough, he said. I know how he feels about her though; I couldn't have gone on without you. Even if I hadn't Imprinted. It was just...hard saying goodbye. It reminded me of before when Billy died and he talked to us. Then I got to thinking about what happened to us and how it must have been for the rest of the pack and the Cullens."

"Oh, God, don't," Edward groaned. "You can't think like that. At least we found them all again eventually, and each other. At least we were able to spend some more time with Embry and Leah and see how happy they've been."

"Yeah," I sniffled. "I'm still sorry I wasn't there for you."

"Don't be stupid," Edward scoffed. "That doesn't matter." His lips brushed my wet cheek. "I was awesome; they all did as they were told. Even this Paul guy and he's almost as much a trouble-causer as our old friend, Paul."

I drew back and forced a smile. "Paul and Rose were a pair, weren't they? I thought they'd never come around to us being together."

Edward grinned and his lips touched mine briefly before he drew back. "Do you want me to call your tutor and tell him you won't be in class this afternoon?"

"Yeah, thanks."

"Where's your phone?"

"On the couch."

Edward called both my tutor and Mark. He had no further classes himself that day and no plans to work in the museum for once. We were able to spend the rest of the day together, cuddling and remembering our lost friends, eventually with smiles on our faces rather than tears. Embry had been right - he and Leah had lived long and happily and had more than most people could expect. We intended to do exactly the same and make the most of every minute we had together.


	30. Chapter 30

CHAPTER THIRTY

Leah and Embry's funeral was a joint ceremony held the following Saturday on the cliff-top in La Push. Edward and I set off early that morning in order to attend and were unsurprised that almost everyone who lived on the Reservation turned out to pay their respects. Edward felt uncomfortable and out of place among so many Native faces, but Stuart welcomed us and introduced us to the Ateara and Uley descendants, who were already used to seeing us visiting the Clearwater-Calls and by the time the celebration was underway few people gave us even a second glance. My grandparents, who were in attendance, firmly ignored me.

The occasion was intended to be a celebration rather than mourning - a celebration of the chief and her husband's long life and enormous involvement within the tribe. They were the last remaining Quileutes who had still carried an active shifter gene and although it remained in the blood of several families, so far it had been dormant and seemed meant to stay that way.

Although I felt incredibly sad to be saying goodbye to my friends, at the same time I felt glad that they had lived so happily and so long and had been so highly thought of by the entire tribe. Even though many of them hadn't seriously acknowledged Leah as their leader because of her sex, it was clear they had all respected her enormously.

The burials were followed by a huge feast, music and a bonfire and Edward and I didn't leave until late in the evening, exhausted after the long day. Edward drove to Neah Bay and we discovered my sisters had already gone to bed. We spent only an hour with my parents before we retired to get some sleep before having to make the long journey back to Seattle in the morning. Given the circumstances, I had been excused from work over the weekend, but we would both have some catching up to do when we returned, mainly with study.

By the time we got back to college I found I felt much better. Losing both Embry and Leah at the same time had hit me hard, but being able to go and say goodbye to them properly helped. They had been the last connections to my own past, but really I had the Cullens too and I didn't doubt that the two wolves would still watch over us.

My family came to visit a couple weeks later, staying in a motel not far from the apartment and watching my football game on the Sunday. Edward didn't watch the game, but stayed in the apartment cooking a late lunch for everyone, even making a cake which impressed Mom enormously - and my sisters who made short work of their slices of the rich chocolate cake and took the rest home.

We went back to Neah Bay for Thanksgiving and at Christmas, the Cullens invited us to stay with them and for my family to visit. I was a little wary about my parents and sisters actually spending any length of time with the vampires, but so long as the girls didn't jump on any of them and discover how cold they were, which would be unlikely with strangers, things should be ok. The invite was for Christmas Eve, which would preclude the strangeness of none of the Cullens actually eating Christmas dinner.

My parents had actually talked to Carlisle and Esme a few times on the phone about our wedding and the visit went well, particularly for Claire and Chloe who were spoiled with a large number of parcels that embarrassed Mom and Dad and delighted Esme. The girls both went to hug her and I held my breath, but they noticed nothing odd. She was wearing a thick sweater over a shirt and had been standing close to an electric heater with her hands resting on the top of it so she would temporarily feel warm.

Our wedding was now only four months away and we discovered that everything was already in place. Eleazar would be returning from South America with Carmen so that he could perform the ceremony; seating and a small pagoda had been hired to place in the clearing behind the house and Esme had ordered flowers to decorate it, including button holes for us to wear. Jasper had reminded her that they had to be white roses, which had been the flowers Alexa had picked from the garden for us to wear the first time. Esme had also ordered a small cake and champagne and all that we needed to do ourselves was obtain the licence, which we did before we returned to college, and get ourselves some suits, although since Edward already had a dozen to choose from, he merely picked out a light grey three-piece outfit and bought a new shirt and tie. Claire and Chloe were to be bridesmaids for us of course, or 'groomsmaids'. What we had planned didn't really require them, but we knew they were hoping and not asking, so we suggested they fill the role, which provoked screams of excitement and an argument about what colour dresses they would have until I interrupted firmly with 'white' and they fell silent.

Mom asked us whether we planned to write our own vows or simply use the standard ones the priest would supply and I explained we intended to adopt those we had used the first time around.

"The only thing is...it's going to make Claire and Chloe ask questions," I worried.

"Well, I think we can tell them a little," Mom said thoughtfully.

"They're only nine!"

"But they're already surrounded by our customs and legends. They read about Makah spirit lore at school. Telling them that you two lived your lives once before isn't going to be difficult for them to believe."

We all told Claire and Chloe the basics of us coming back a second time the night before we returned to college. Mom explained most of it, saying that we had loved each other and died young and that the spirits had seen fit to return us to continue where we left off. The pair accepted it without a great deal of surprise, responding with statements such as 'That's so cool!' which I supposed I should have expected. They were young and impressionable and unlikely to question what their parents told them, however far-fetched it might seem to adults.

I expected the next few months to drag. We were so excited about the 'big day' that when I turned twenty and thought that there were still fourteen weeks to go, it seemed like a long time, but our lives were busy with school, work and each other and almost before we knew it, it was Spring Break and our last visit home before we tied the knot. We stayed with the Cullens for most of the short break, my parents happy for us to spend more time there, acknowledging that we needed more privacy than we were going to get in their home where the walls were thin enough almost to hear everyone breathing.

Zara and Charlotte used the opportunity to persuade us to let Esme add a couple of things to the wedding, including a small orchestra to provide background music and for dancing and a hotel booking as a wedding gift, for the one night before we would have to return to college. It was then that we realised we hadn't even considered choosing a best man, or best men, given that in theory we should both have one and since the options were Emmett and Jasper, we could never have chosen between them.

"About time! Thought you'd never ask!" Emmett exclaimed.

"You are so ungrateful," Zara said.

"I'm not! I just thought they forgot, that's all. I got my suit picked out already."

"Big-headed too. What makes you think they'd have chosen you?"

"Who else is there besides Jasper? If they only wanted one, I'd easily get the best of him!"

"I'd like to see you try," Jasper said mildly, fixing his eyes on Emmett's face.

We watched in amusement as Emmett shook his head, frowning, and grumbled that he hated weddings and hoped we didn't expect him to be involved in any way.

"Jasper, don't be so mean!" Charlotte shoved the grinning vampire and he relaxed.

"Fucker!" growled Emmett. "Guys, you know I didn't mean that."

"Look, you're both going to be there for us, the same as you always have been. You can have one ring each the night before, so you better not lose yours, Emmett, and make us regret it," I told him.

He smiled sheepishly. "I wouldn't dare."

With everything organised, we returned to college for the last few weeks, even more excited than previously. Soon we would be back to the point we had reached when our lives had ended, only this time we wouldn't have to worry about it all being ruined by fighting between supernatural and historical enemies. I shuddered as I recalled the night of our anniversary. We had made love, our senses totally engaged with each other so that we had known nothing of the impending attack until Rosalie called us. A short time later, Edward was gone, his body mutilated, then turned to ash, the house burned and I was in despair.

"Whatever you're thinking about, stop it," Edward said.

"What?"

"You're crying."

"Shit." I scrubbed my hands over my face in annoyance. "I'm just being a dick. I was thinking about our anniversary."

"Well, don't. That's not going to happen. We're human this time; nobody cares what we do. I mean, one of us might get run over by a bus, or die of food poisoning from your cooking for example, but..."

"Hey! There's nothing wrong with my cooking!" I exclaimed.

"Apart from the time you thought chicken could be eaten rare."

"Alright, you made your point, I'm being stupid." I tugged him towards me and gave him a kiss.

"I've done it myself," he confessed. "I don't expect the same thing to happen, but I keep remembering it. Obviously when it happened though, I didn't go through the pain you did. When I was gone, I was gone and that was it."

"I thought we weren't going to think about it?"

"Sorry. So...do you remember the vows from last time?"

"Yeah. I think I need to leave out the part where I said you were my beautiful vampire."

"Why? Aren't I beautiful?" Edward smirked, pouted and fluttered his eyelashes.

"Jerk."

"Beautiful jerk. Nice."

"Stop fooling around," I growled. "There's still time to change my mind, you know, and not show up."

"Fate wouldn't let you," Edward said smugly.

"No, probably not."

Somehow fate had brought us together again after ninety years and I doubted anything would be allowed to get in the way of us fulfilling the rest of its plan for us.

It was only as the last week of April approached that both of us grew nervous. I remembered how I had felt the first time around - nervous, excited, a little sad that no one would support us. At least we didn't have this to worry about now. In addition our wedding night had been our first times and that certainly wasn't the case this time, although I knew we would do exactly the same things as we had before, taking our time over each other although we wouldn't be able to achieve as much as we had then. Wolf and vampire had a lot more stamina when it came to sex than we did in human form. It would be a special night, however; the first one as husbands.

We drove to Forks right after our last class ended Tuesday afternoon. I should have been working that night, but my tutor had been happy to excuse me when I explained I was getting married. I knew Blair still thought we were nuts, but he had given us good wishes and he and Mark had bought us a fancy new rug for the apartment as a wedding gift.

We called in to see my family briefly on our way to the Cullens' house and then spent the night in our room there, trying to sleep and tossing and turning restlessly for a good portion of the night. We were up early, enjoying the breakfast Esme made for us and reacquainting ourselves with Eleazar and Carmen who had arrived during the night. I remembered him as being cool and unforgiving, disliking me because of my genes and stating categorically that me being united with Edward was an abomination, but his attitude was different now. He and Carmen were both very pleasant to us and were glad to catch up with Tanya, whom they hadn't seen for far too long.

The ceremony was to take place at eleven o'clock and by ten, Edward and I were in our suits and my family had arrived, Claire and Chloe wearing white dresses with frills and lace, their hair coiled up neatly with rosebuds tucked into it. Mom had a new outfit with a hat and Esme, Zara and Charlotte were similarly attired. Edward and I had reluctantly removed our rings the night before and handed them over to Emmett and Jasper and now we pestered them, anxious that nothing would happen to them.

"Here." Emmett held my ring up between finger and thumb in front of my face. "Where's it gonna go in one night, huh?"

"Sorry, I just...want this to be perfect."

"It _is_ perfect. You get to do this all over again and carry on where you left off. The rings survived nearly a century without getting lost; I think they can make it to the pagoda out there."

"Yeah, I know, Emmett, sorry," I repeated and he smirked.

"Not getting cold feet are you?"

"Like yours, you mean? No."

We joked and fooled around, passing the time until everybody began to head outside. For once the weather was in our favour and it was cloudy, but dry. The thick canopy of trees overhead ensured that if the sun were to emerge, the vampires wouldn't be exposed. Our families sat down on the seats facing the pagoda, Eleazar stood in the middle of the wooden construction and Emmett and Jasper stood waiting for us close by. Esme had given Claire and Chloe baskets of rose petals to scatter as they walked in front of us and as sappy as it was, we knew it was for the girls rather than us, who were taking their roles as groomsmaids very seriously.

My heart was racing as I halted in front of the pagoda and faced Edward and for a moment I didn't hear what Eleazar was saying as he began with, 'We are gathered here...' All I was aware of was the love of my life, standing there in his grey suit, his green eyes sparkling and his chaotic hair untamed. He had intended to flatten it with gel, but I insisted he leave it alone.

"I love you," I mouthed silently and he responded with the same words before Eleazar's voice interrupted us. He had finished his introduction and was inviting us to recite our vows to each other. I took a deep breath and licked my lips, reminding myself not to say 'vampire' or 'Imprint'. The rest of what I had said before, I could repeat virtually word for word with one or two minor changes.

"Edward, I never knew that I could feel this way about another person. You came into my life by accident, chosen for me by fate and at first I didn't know how to be with you; how to love you. I grew to love you as a friend first and then as a partner and although our pasts guided me in the right direction, now it's not just fate's tie that makes me want you with me every minute, but my heart and soul.

"I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you. To laugh with you, stand by you and protect you and be someone that you can depend on always. I vow to love you today, tomorrow and forever. I am honoured to take you as my husband and I promise that no matter what happens, I will always be there for you."

I held my hand out towards Jasper and he placed Edward's ring in the palm and then moved back to sit down. I took Edward's left hand and carefully slid the ring onto the third finger, repeating the same final words as when I had married him alone on the cliff.

"With the gift of this ring, I make you my husband and I promise always to love you, support you and be faithful to you and I will be with you always."

Edward's hand squeezed mine and he was beaming, his eyes bright with unshed tears. For a long moment he didn't move or speak and then he cleared his throat and began to say the words I remembered so well.

"Jacob, today I take you to be my husband. From the day we met I felt the connection between us that has survived almost a century and it has grown stronger every day since. Gradually it became the love that I feel for you now. I vow to love you and cherish you, to keep you safe and protect you, to share everything with you. I will always be there when you need me and I promise to be the best husband I can be. I vow to make this day and every day after it one that you will cherish and I give you everything that I am."

Emmett passed him the other ring and then went to sit beside Jasper. I looked down at my hand as Edward slipped the ring onto my finger and then gripped my hand tightly again.

"I give you this ring as a symbol of my love for you and my trust in you and I promise to love you and remain at your side forever."

_Forever._ This time we would get it; somehow I knew it. Well, maybe not forever, but certainly many years rather than just one.

"I now pronounce you...husbands," Eleazar said.

I drew Edward closer to me and caressed his lips with mine, restraining myself with difficulty from deepening it and the small group of our families clapped and cheered. Reluctantly I let go of him and Mom stood up, her cheeks wet and a camera in her hand, snapping away quickly. Then Eleazar was indicating everyone should help themselves to champagne from the table nearby, or juice for my sisters, and toast us.

We didn't expect speeches, but then suddenly Carlisle was standing in front of the pagoda, telling everyone to sit back down, Edward and I included, while he stated that he saw Edward as his son, welcomed me into their family and added a few words about getting to know me previously, taking care not to say anything that would make my parents ask questions. When he sat down beside Esme, Dad got up and I felt myself reddening as he said how proud he and Mom were of me, how happy they both were for me that I had found my soul mate and that they loved Edward too, as if he were their own.

With this over, the four-piece orchestra began to play, Emmett and Jasper removed the chairs, picking up only two at a time for the benefit of my family and the clearing was turned into a small dancing area. Edward and I had no first dance previously, but I remembered us smooching together in Alaska when Jasper had married Alexa. It was then that we had discussed marrying each other for the first time. I knew Edward had longed for it, but when I talked about it he had worried I was only doing it to please him.

"I love you so much," I whispered in his ear as we shuffled together.

"I love you too...husband."

"God, I wish we could just slip away to the hotel now," I added. It was only the proximity of my parents, sisters and the others that was stopping my half-erect cock from stiffening fully as I held him in my arms and I could feel that he was becoming aroused too.

"We better stop."

He drew away reluctantly as the tune ended and we stood talking and sipping champagne for a few minutes as we calmed ourselves. Mom and Dad were dancing together, as were Emmett and Zara and we took turns with my sisters who were eagerly awaiting a chance to prance around in their fancy dresses. After perhaps thirty minutes, Esme invited us to cut the cake and out came Mom's camera again, along with her tears. Nobody seemed to notice than none of the Cullens ate a piece. The orchestra continued to play for anyone that wanted to go on dancing and Claire and Chloe seemed determined to take full advantage, dancing with each other now. My parents intended to let them stay and enjoy it as long as they wanted, but now it was time for Edward and I to leave for the hotel and we said goodbye to everyone, this being the last time we would see them before the summer holidays. We planned to drive straight back to Seattle in the morning.

Everyone followed us to the front of the house to wave us off and immediately I was faced with my truck, decorated with balloons, ribbons and an enormous 'Just Married' banner on the tailgate.

"Emmett, I'm guessing you're responsible for this," Edward said and he smirked and stepped closer.

"You should think yourselves lucky I didn't blow up condoms instead of balloons," he whispered.

"Oh, God," I groaned. I could just imagine Claire and Chloe asking my parents to explain why the balloons had teats.

I slid behind the wheel and started the engine, waiting for Edward to take his seat beside me and then slowly we began to head off down the long drive, leaving the group of our families waving behind us. Edward reached out and slid his hand into mine and I ran my fingers over the ring on his finger, at the same time glancing at mine where my hand rested on the steering wheel. Finally we were back where we had been; in love, married and looking towards our future.


	31. Chapter 31

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

As we headed into Forks to find the hotel, Edward opened the envelope Esme had given him, which held the booking slip she had printed out.

"Do you remember where it is?" he asked.

"Where what is?"

"The hotel. You know, the Golden Eagle."

"Our hotel is still here?" I said in surprise. The Golden Eagle was the very same one I had booked for my first night with Edward before.

"Yes, they extended it and revamped - excuse the pun - all the rooms. Esme thought we'd want to stay in the same place although I don't think it'll be the same room."

"Awesome."

Within ten minutes, the truck was parked up in the hotel lot and we had checked in and been directed to our room, which turned out to be the honeymoon suite. It had an enormous canopy bed, a lounge with a vast TV screen on the wall and luxurious couches and a bathroom with a jacuzzi bath sunk into the floor. A basket of fruit sat on the table in the corner of the lounge, along with a bottle of red wine - no doubt Esme's doing as well - and a large vase of white roses.

I dumped my bag beside the table and turned towards Edward, drawing him to me. It was still early and since there had been no wedding breakfast, we were both hungry, but at the same time I couldn't wait to get him out of his suit and into that huge bed. As I held him against me, I quickly felt his erection beginning to grow, nudging against my own and all thoughts of food went out of the window.

I shrugged out of my suit jacket and tossed it onto the couch nearby, then slid Edward's jacket off of his shoulders, sending it after mine into an untidy heap. I slid my hands down his back to his butt and squeezed firmly, my lips nibbling at his while he began unfastening my tie. Reluctantly I stepped back and created a small space between us so that I could get to the buttons on his vest, unfastening them swiftly and then tugging at his tie, fumbling with the knot and eventually loosening it sufficiently to take it off over his head. He chuckled softly, his fingers deftly undoing my shirt buttons and removing my cufflinks, pushing the fronts of the garment apart and stroking his hands over my chest. My heart hammered under his light touch and I drew in a sharp breath through my parted lips.

We rarely took our time like this, I realised. In the initial stages we had, out of a mixture of nerves and reluctance to let things get out of control, but then it had become a battle to find enough time to spend with each other and had been a case of undressing ourselves and falling upon each other like starving animals with little finesse, although sometimes that was more to do with simply being unable to wait, thinking only of attaining release as fast as possible. I was achingly hard now as Edward's fingers brushed over my abs and began unfastening my pants, but I was determined to make things last and not just prepare him as quickly as I could before I impaled him.

Now I pushed his hands away from my zipper, laced my fingers with his and led him into the bedroom, grabbing up my bag at the last second and placing it beside the bed. I bent to undo the laces on my shoes, my eyes momentarily on a level with Edward's crotch, noticing his pants tenting obscenely with his arousal. He quickly toed off his own shoes without unfastening them properly and removed his cufflinks. Then I straightened up and drew him close to me again, shivering at the sound of his soft moan as his clothed erection pushed against mine. His green eyes were dark, his lips parted as he breathed fast and I leaned in to kiss him, beginning with a light caressing of lips and then thrusting my tongue in, seeking his, drawing another moan from him which went straight to my groin and made my erection throb. Edward's moan became a whimper and his hips gyrated slightly, seeking friction as he rubbed himself against me.

I broke the kiss and stepped back again, unfastening his shirt with slightly shaky hands, my fingertips brushing his warm skin and the light covering of hair as I made my way downwards, my eyes fixed on his heaving chest, almost certain I could hear his heart beating in time with mine which seemed to be making my entire body vibrate. I reached the waistband of his pants and tugged the shirt free, pushing it off his shoulders and then quickly sliding mine off at the same time, allowing both to fall to the floor. Edward reached for the front of my pants again, freeing the clasp and lowering the zipper to let the expensive fabric slide down my legs as he stroked his palm slowly over my straining erection, the tip visible as it pushed my shorts away from my body. I groaned and resisted the urge to yank them down my legs and thrust myself into his hand. The whole slow undressing process was frustrating, but incredibly erotic at the same time and as desperate as I was to feel his hands and mouth on me, his tight hole clenching around me, I made it last just a few more minutes, slowly unfastening his pants as he teasingly stroked me.

The fabric around the head of my cock was wet from my leaking and I moaned helplessly as Edward's thumb traced the shape of it, making me harden even more if it were possible.

"God, I need to come so badly," I whispered.

It was getting to the point where I wouldn't last much longer than the first time we had touched each other and I stopped lingering and pushed Edward's pants and shorts down his legs, freeing his cock which curved up against his belly, the tip glistening with pre-cum. We stepped away from each other briefly, removing socks and my shorts and then I opened the bag and grabbed the lube, placing it on the bed table before we lay down together. We faced each other, close enough for our erections to just touch each other and I angled my head slightly, leaning in for another kiss although it didn't deepen, both of us already too breathless to do much more than tease each other's lips.

I ran my hand down Edward's side to his hip, then rolled him slowly onto his back and reached for the lube, putting it beside him on the mattress. I meant to spend a few minutes on him while hopefully my imminent orgasm subsided and I lowered my head and touched the tip of my tongue to one of his nipples, circling the small nub and then tugging it into my mouth, biting gently, making him squirm and moan. I glanced downwards as I turned my attention to the other nipple, pulling on it with my teeth as his back arched up off the mattress. I could see his cock straining and quivering, the leaking pre-cum dampening his happy trail, his hand suddenly reaching for it to give it some much longed for attention. I caught his wrist before he could touch himself and pinned it to the bed quickly, raising my head from his chest.

"No touching."

"Please..." he groaned. "I need..."

"What do you need?" I changed my position, curling my legs under me as I made my way lower, trailing kisses down the centre of his chest and over his abs, feeling the wet tip of his cock bump my chin.

"I need you in me."

His fingers curled into my hair, urging my head lower, his legs spreading apart invitingly. I cupped his balls in one hand, pulling on them gently, rolling them in my palm and then dipping my fingers lower, feeling for his hole. He gasped and writhed and I extended my tongue to touch the head of his cock, teasing it for a moment before I parted my lips and drew it in, tasting pre-cum as I sucked gently.

"Oh, fuck..." Edward groaned. "Please...I'm not going to last much longer."

I moved between his legs and dipped my head lower, allowing his length to push into my mouth and throat until my nose was in his neatly trimmed pubic hair and he was shuddering beneath me, his hands still on my head as he began thrusting shallowly in an attempt to fuck my mouth. I opened the lube and coated my fingers quickly and at once Edward pulled his knees up and moved his feet further apart, giving me easier access to him. I continued to work his cock with my mouth, swirling my tongue around, hollowing my cheeks a little as I sucked on him, slowly pushing one finger into his tight hole.

"Yes...more..." he panted.

I slid the one digit in and out a few times before adding a second, reaching deeper and searching for the small gland that drove him wild. His hips came up off the mattress and his cock pushed against the back of my throat as he moaned loudly and I felt his body tightening, his orgasm drawing close. I released his cock quickly and sat up, withdrawing my fingers a little and scissoring them instead to stretch him while I squeezed out more lube with the other hand and covered my shaft in it.

"Fuck...I'm so close..." moaned Edward.

He cupped his balls, tugging them downwards, taking slow deep breaths as I finished preparing him, struggling to stave off his orgasm. I pulled my fingers out of him and gave him a moment while I stroked the base of my erection with lube-covered hands. Eventually I edged closer, lining myself up and pushing the head of my cock against him, my eyes fixed on his hole as it gradually opened up around me and drew me in. Watching myself enter him was as exciting as the feel of his tight heat beginning to surround me and I continued to look until half of my length was inside him before I changed my position, lowering myself over him and bracing my hands either side of him on the mattress. I thrust in smoothly until I was buried deep, my balls resting against his and his body gripping me tight.

"God, you feel good," I breathed, leaning down to touch my lips to his. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." He opened his eyes slowly, the green almost obscured by the pupils. "My husband."

I felt my lips stretch into a wide smile and I couldn't stop myself glancing at my left hand where it was fisted beside his shoulder, the gold ring shining there on my finger. I switched my eyes back to his and our gaze remained locked as we made love, me thrusting slowly into him and his hand on his cock, stroking himself at the same pace. Gradually we picked up speed, unable to prolong things any more and Edward's hand moved faster, flying over his shaft as I pounded into him, my cock repeatedly bumping his prostate. His breath was coming in harsh gasps and grunts as his body tightened and he came hard, his thick white fluid shooting out of his fist onto his chest as he cried out my name, his ass clenching tighter around me as my own orgasm crashed through me. I felt myself pulse repeatedly, emptying my seed deep into him and I lowered my shuddering body onto him, feeling his arms immediately slide around me and hold onto me firmly.

"Fuck...Edward...so good...love you..." I panted.

"Mmm...love you..." he breathed in my ear.

I stayed inside him as long as I could, gradually softening until I reluctantly slipped from his body and we lay resting breathlessly a few more minutes before I slowly pulled myself up and grabbed some tissues. My fluid was obscenely dribbling from Edward onto the comforter and I grinned as I cleaned it up and then reached for more tissues to wipe his own cum from his chest which had already begun to dry in his chest hair.

"Just leave it...we're gonna need a shower," he smirked. "Or a bath."

"Jacuzzi?" I suggested.

"Mmm."

"Why don't you fill the tub and I'll call room service and get us something to eat?" I suggested.

"Yes, I'm starving," Edward said at once. He got up slowly.

"What would you like? It looks like they have a pretty good choice."

"Anything, I don't care." He leaned over to kiss my cheek and then went into the bathroom.

I ordered steak, fries and salad and strawberry cheesecake, which I was told would be delivered to our room in an hour. It would give us time to languish in the jacuzzi bath first and I opened the red wine and poured two glasses, then went to join Edward who was already in the tub, the water slowly rising around him and the surface covered with pine-scented bubbles. I stepped in carefully and sat down, passing him one of the glasses and we lay there submerged almost to the necks, feeling the light buffeting of the jets beneath the water. We remained there until our glasses were empty and then scrubbed ourselves quickly and dressed in the two white fluffy robes hanging on the bathroom door. Our food arrived fifteen minutes later and we ate in the lounge, finishing the wine with the meal, then snuggling on the large couch for a while until occasional gentle kisses began to lead to more heated ones and I felt my cock beginning to grow again beneath the robe.

Edward moved slightly beside me and when his thigh bumped my erection, he grinned and pulled the belt of my robe loose, sliding his hand inside and caressing me for a moment.

"Ready for more?"

"I'm always ready for more."

He grasped me more firmly, pumping my shaft slowly, rubbing his thumb over the head and teasing me into full arousal. I pulled his own robe loose and uncovered him, licking my lips at the sight of his quivering erection. I shifted onto my back and pulled him against me, holding his hips and encouraging him to rub himself against me, but after a moment he pulled away and sat up.

"Where are you going?" I groaned. "You want to go back to bed?"

"No, stay there a minute."

I sat up and took the robe off, draping it over the back of the couch as Edward disappeared into the bedroom. He returned seconds later, naked and with the lube in his hand and kneeled down on the carpet. He indicated that I should turn around and I sprawled, half lying, my head and neck against the rear couch cushions and my back on the seat, feet resting on the edge of the coffee table either side of him. I watched eagerly, my breathing already quickening as he rested his hands on my knees, slowly stroking them upwards and trailing his thumb nails along my inner thighs to my groin.

"Mmm," I hummed, my right hand automatically drifting to my cock as Edward ignored it.

"No touching." He repeated my own words and I clenched my fist and rested it on the cushion beside me, my pulse beginning to race and he went on stroking my thighs for a moment, leaning forward and drawing one of my balls into his mouth, rolling it around on his tongue before letting it pop free and giving the other the same treatment.

I groaned and shuddered, watching as a bead of pre-cum oozed slowly from my cock and dripped onto my belly. I was aching, the veins in my erection clearly visible against the tight skin and the head purple and wet.

"Fuck...Edward...please..." I groaned.

"Want something?" he teased. He slid his hands under my butt and lifted me a little, ducking his head until I felt his tongue touch my perineum and then brush my hole.

"Shit! Please...touch me..."

"Aren't I doing that?" Edward's breath fanned me gently as he spoke and then his tongue returned to my flesh, teasing and pushing at me until I felt the tip work its way into me.

"Oh...holy shit...stop...fuck...oh God...more..." I babbled.

It wasn't as if this was anything new; we had often used both tongues and fingers on each other until the recipient was begging and rambling nonsensically, which I was now as he drove me into a frenzy of tingling nerve-endings. Edward chuckled softly, the sound muffled against me and I squirmed helplessly, pushing myself against his face until he eventually moved away and grabbed the lube, coating his fingers.

"Fuck, Edward, you're gonna make me come without even touching me," I moaned as I felt two slippery fingers enter and immediately curl upwards in search of my prostate, nudging it firmly.

"Shall I not touch you then?" he grinned, bending to brush the tip of his tongue over the base of my cock before straightening up again.

"Oh, God...no...I mean...touch me...please...fuck me..." I panted.

As familiar as we were with each other after a year as lovers, I could feel my face warming as I listened to myself whine and beg, shamelessly grinding my ass onto his fingers in an effort to force them deeper. He carefully added a third finger and wrapped his free hand slowly around my erection, guiding it upright and capturing the head in his mouth.

"Yes...more...want you..."

His mouth opened more, tongue and lips tugging at me as I felt myself slowly being swallowed up. My eyes had closed of their own accord and I forced them open again to watch Edward's face descend towards my belly as he took my length into his throat. He withdrew his fingers from me then and blindly reached for the lube, squeezing more into his hand to coat his erection. Then suddenly he released me and moved away and I groaned with both frustration that he had stopped what he was doing and longing for him to fuck me.

"Turn around, get on your knees down here," he instructed.

I was quick to comply, slipping off the couch and kneeling facing it, resting my upper body on the leather cushion, relieved that it wasn't covered in some fancy fabric that would be awkward to clean after I came all over it. Edward manoeuvred me how he wanted me, spreading my legs wider and positioning himself behind me. I held my breath as I felt the blunt head of his cock push against me and then forced myself to breathe out slowly, groaning at the slow intrusion. He paused about halfway in, resting his hands on my hips and gripping tightly.

"You ok?"

"Yeah," I gasped.

My next utterance was part way between a groan and a yelp as he drove the rest of his length into me, bringing his body flush with mine.

"God...yes...fuck me..." I panted.

Gradually he began to move, withdrawing almost to the tip before driving himself deep, each thrust forcing a grunt or groan out of me as I clung onto the sofa and pushed myself back onto him, longing to touch myself, but knowing it would be over way too quickly if I started to jerk off. I could feel his balls slapping against me as his cock filled me, his fingers bruising my hips. Edward wasn't rough very often, but when he lost himself in what we were doing and simply fucked me, it drove me crazy. It reminded me of when we were wolf and vampire and he had pistoned into me at ridiculous speeds, often only my own strength preventing me from being driven into the wall in front of me.

"Touch yourself," he gasped now as he began to pick up speed.

"I'll come too fast," I groaned.

"Do it...come for me..."

I took one hand off the sofa and grasped my cock, using the pre-cum oozing from the tip to lubricate it before I began pumping myself urgently, keeping time with Edward's movements as he impaled me. I could feel my orgasm approaching, heat coiling in my belly and my balls tightening, drawing up against my body, the base of my cock thickening and pulsing. I wanted to make it last, but I was too close and too desperate to finish as he repeatedly struck the bundle of nerves inside me.

"Fuck...gonna come..." I hissed and then I was spilling my seed onto the couch in front of me and coating my own hand, the fact that I had already come once not too long before seeming to have no effect on the intensity of the orgasm or the amount of fluid that spurted from me. My ass clenched tightly around Edward and his smooth, rapid thrusts became jerky and awkward as he came too, his cock pulsing and shooting its load within me.

"God...Jacob...amazing..." he groaned.

His hands slid from my hips around to my belly and chest and he drew me backwards until my butt rested on his lap, his softening cock still inside me. I leaned against him, my chest heaving with the effort of breathing, my skin slick with sweat, covering his hands with my own where he held me.

"That was so good," I whispered. "I feel weak."

"Me too." He shifted slightly and slipped out of me, his fluid immediately beginning to dribble from me onto his thighs.

"Shit...gonna need another bath," I smirked.

"Maybe a quick shower."

Edward's lips touched the back of my neck and I slid off him reluctantly, staggering to my feet on wobbly legs. We slowly made our way to the bathroom again and shared the shower, taking turns to clean each other up by removing the shower head from its bracket and spraying the water on our bodies. I felt weak and drained and by the time we had dried off, all I wanted to do was collapse into the bed and sleep. Edward clearly had the same idea as he left the bathroom ahead of me, pulled back the bed covers and sank into the middle of the mattress. I joined him quickly and covered us up, drawing him into my arms. His lips touched mine softly and then he snuggled closer, his face in my neck.

"Love you so much," he murmured.

"Love you too. My beautiful husband," I responded drowsily.

My eyelids were heavy and I realised after a moment that Edward was already falling asleep, his breathing slowing and becoming deeper. I let my eyes close and my limbs grew heavy and within minutes I was joining him, falling into the first sleep of our married life.


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N ****This is the last chapter, my friends. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy the ending...and be sure to read the note at the bottom of the page! :o)**

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

I opened my eyes slowly and discovered it was daylight. I was alone and I rolled over and buried my face in the pillow, catching the scent of Edward on the fabric. My husband. I grinned delightedly and childishly jerked my feet up and down, throwing the bottom of the comforter off and digging my toes into the mattress. I didn't think anything could happen that would make me more happy than I was at that moment.

I heard the toilet flush and then water running and the sound of Edward cleaning his teeth and I turned over again, my hand quickly sliding down to wrap around my morning wood. Our wedding night had been amazing. It was always amazing with him, but when we took our time and didn't rush everything, it was incredible.

When he returned to the bedroom a minute later he kneeled on the edge of the mattress and bent to kiss me, his riotous hair sticking out all over his head and his eyes sparkling.

"Morning, husband."

"Morning."

I kissed him back briefly and then went to the bathroom to attend to my own needs. If only we didn't have to drive back to Seattle that day - if only we could have had a proper honeymoon somewhere. Still, we had a couple hours yet and I hurried back to the bedroom, finding Edward sprawling on top of the covers idly stroking himself. My erection had subsided with my struggle to pee, but at the sight of him it began to rise again at once and I lay down beside him, pulling him close to me.

Again we took our time, but we made love gently rather than pounding into each other as if our lives depended on it and when we were spent, we lay cuddling for another thirty minutes before reluctantly dragging ourselves into the shower and getting ready to leave.

We packed the suits, dressed in the spare clothes we had with us and ate the breakfast of stuffed bagels and juice which had been left outside our door some time earlier. Then it was time to check out and get on the road. Edward sat close to my side, his head resting against my shoulder as I drove, neither of us talking, but lost in thought. The smile didn't leave my face for the entire journey back to our apartment and each time I glanced at Edward, his lips were curved up into his customary crooked smile.

I wondered where we would go from here. Fate had brought us back together after it had so cruelly torn us apart and it seemed that it had finished playing its part in our lives for the time being. We had talked about the future and what we wanted out of it, but not in much detail as yet.

I knew I wanted to be a sports coach after I graduated, whether I worked in a school or for a football or hockey team, or even with groups of underprivileged kids or juvies. Edward wanted to be a history teacher in a school or college and we both knew that we intended to find a home in the Port Angeles area so that we could be close to our families. However, it was still two years before any of this would start to happen and I didn't want to wish my life away looking towards the future, when the present was so perfect. I intended to enjoy every minute along the way and I reminded myself to write in my journal and detail our wedding when we got back to the apartment. Mom had given me a photograph of us together which looked almost identical to that taken by Jasper so many years ago and I intended to stick it into the journal and keep both my own and Billy's safe together. They would be an incredible story for whoever found them in the future, when hopefully we would have passed on only due to old age.

"What are you thinking?" Edward asked, straightening up and stretching as we reached the suburbs of Seattle.

"Probably the same as you. Sappy stuff; how happy I am."

Edward smirked. "Yes, exactly the same."

Predictably the next day's classes were constantly interrupted by friends and classmates either teasing me or congratulating me. I rather expected some derogatory comments about the fact that I married a boy and with both of us so young, but nobody commented negatively and Edward reported later that he had only received pleasant remarks or curious ones. The majority of people didn't mention it after that first day, except for Blair complaining that where Candace had previously not been interested in getting married, now suddenly it seemed like a good idea to her. He was horrified and I could see troubles looming in their future because of it.

The remainder of the year passed in a flurry of study and exams and we spent the summer holidays staying mostly with the Cullens with numerous visits to my family and a week's camping trip in the middle, pitching the tent in the same place as the previous year. We ran into Steve and Suzannah one day, discovering they were still together and both were somewhat shocked that I had married Edward and I didn't miss the slight look of hurt on Suzannah's face. It puzzled me, but I didn't dwell on it. Perhaps she regretted breaking up with me, although I had thought she was happy with Steve, or maybe she wondered if I had always been gay and longing for something else when I was with her. I doubted I would ever find out; she was a brief part of my past and we had barely spoken to each other since I left for college.

We were halfway through our degrees by then and the third year was to involve a greater proportion of tutoring for both of us. Edward's courses would be around two-thirds history and one-third teaching, while mine were split in half between sports therapy and training combined and coaching. I sat in on a few of Edward's classes even though he no longer needed my support. If I was free and he was teaching, I went simply for the pleasure of sitting there listening to him lecture and I found I learned a lot of history that previously I wouldn't have thought interesting.

In turn, Edward came to as many of my football or hockey games as he could manage, dependent on his hours working in the museum. I frequently practised my massages on him too, although as much as I tried to be professional, the episodes invariably became sexual. I found it impossible to ignore the growing bulge in his shorts when I was aiming to treat an imaginary torn thigh muscle or similar with massage.

That year we both turned twenty-one and we used the summer holidays before our final college year to take a road trip. It was something we had been planning all year and now, finally, Edward could get behind the wheel of the Neptune on the road, rather than on the Cullens' long drive. We headed south and as soon as we emerged from under the Washington cloud cover, the top went down and we cruised with the wind in our hair, exploring the northern part of the States, staying in a different town each night until a month had passed and we had spent more money than I was comfortable with on gas and accommodation. Edward had insisted on paying for all the fuel, since it was his car, but the beast got terrible gas mileage and by the time we finally headed for home, I knew he had spent a fortune on it.

I still felt a little uncomfortable about Edward's bank balance, although I had eventually gotten more used to it. After his house sold and also the portfolio of stocks his father owned, I knew he had in excess of ten million and he would have struggled even to make a dent in the interest. Mostly it didn't bother me any more if he paid a larger share of things than I did, but my stupid pride was still getting in the way of the fact that next year he wanted to buy a house for us so that we wouldn't have to worry about a mortgage. It made sense and I shouldn't have cared - we were together and we were always going to be together so we shared everything, but when it came to finances I still felt in some way inadequate.

We began looking for houses over the Christmas holidays. It was only a few short months before our final exams would be over and we would leave our apartment in Seattle for the last time. We would of course live at the Cullens' house in the interim, but we were eager to find a place of our own as soon as possible. Port Angeles was the best option, it being large enough to support a number of schools, a college and several sports clubs that were possibilities for work and Edward had already applied for an upcoming position as a history professor at the college. The existing professor was due to retire at the end of the year and it seemed the perfect opportunity for Edward.

I had approached the college myself for any possible sports position, but there was nothing. Mom and Dad had suggested it was probably just as well that Edward and I didn't work together, thinking that living in each other's pockets twenty-four-seven wouldn't be good for us, but I would have been perfectly happy to spend every minute in his company for the rest of my life if it were possible and I knew he felt the same. However, it clearly wasn't going to happen and at Spring Break I talked to a football club, the highschool and two elementary schools and found two options available. The first was a sports therapist for the football club due to open up for the new season in the fall and the other, a general sports coach for one of the elementary schools. Teaching younger kids wasn't really something I had considered and I would have preferred to work with teenagers or perhaps the rougher, troubled kids I was used to, but I could always move on when I had a year or two's experience under my belt.

By the time we graduated, Edward had accepted the history professor's post and although I would have preferred to work with the football club, I lost out to an older, more experienced guy, but was lucky enough to be offered the position with the elementary school instead. Both of us had the start of our careers settled, but we had a few months' grace before we both began working in September and we used this time to actively look for houses. The market was poorer than we hoped with an abundance of rentals available, but very little for buyers with the exception of a few houses out of town which well exceeded the budget. Edward thought nothing of spending a million bucks on a house for our future, but the thought horrified me and in addition, they were all far too big for our needs and would have required a lot of work keeping on top of cleaning rooms we wouldn't use.

Eventually we decided there was nothing for it but to stay with the Cullens until more suitable properties became available. They were happy for us to live there as long as we wanted and we had plenty of privacy. Our working hours would be virtually the same when the schools opened and we could at least travel to PA together so that the hour-long drive each way didn't become boring. Both of us were required to begin the week before the students returned in order to prepare classes, plan training and so on, but we still had almost a month before the end of the holidays.

We decided to spend a week camping in the foothills of the Rockies as we had several times before and let ourselves forget about work and house-hunting and just enjoy each other. We had missed our usual camping expedition the previous summer due to the road trip and thought it would be the perfect way to end our lives as students before we began our careers and moved into the real world. We hadn't seen a great deal of my family this summer either and planned to spend a few days with them and give my sisters some attention before we took off into the mountains.

It was while we were staying at my old home that Mom suddenly drew our attention to an ad on the local news website; a house that had been listed for sale only that morning. It was on the edge of Port Angeles in the most pleasant part and had a distant view of the sea. It had a decent sized yard, creating a reasonable distance between itself and the next property and it had two bedrooms, two lounges and a garage. The price tag was six hundred thousand which was average for the type of property and the area and although it was still a lot of money, it didn't horrify me nearly as much as seven figures.

Edward called the agent immediately and that afternoon we went to view the house. We were the first couple to enquire, but as the agent showed us around, she received several text messages advising that others had made contact asking to see the property. I had no doubt that it would sell within days if we didn't go for it ourselves, but as we walked around, looking at the two spacious bedrooms, the extra lounge where Edward could keep his piano, the garage for his fancy car, the well-equipped kitchen and the luxurious bathroom with its deep tub and enormous walk-in shower, we knew it was perfect for us. We stood in the main bedroom looking out of the window at the distant ripple of grey sea, talking quietly while the agent waited downstairs.

"What do you think?" Edward asked.

It was obvious what he thought. His eyes were sparkling, his mouth struggling not to grin widely and I knew he loved the house. I did too and I could imagine us sleeping in this room, eating together at the bar in the kitchen, sharing the shower or the bath. It was as if it had been meant for us and I determinedly swallowed my pride over the money aspect.

"I love it," I said. "It's as if fate stuck it under our noses."

He beamed at me. "That's what I thought. So...?"

"If we go away and think about it, someone else will probably have it by the end of the afternoon," I reasoned. "Make an offer."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, I need to stop worrying about it. If I was in your shoes I'd be insisting you get over yourself and let me buy it. Let's do it. Since the owners already moved out, we could be in here by the time we start work if they don't drag their feet with the paperwork."

"I'll use my father's old lawyer," Edward said. "He won't let them drag their feet. He doesn't deal with conveyancing himself, but his partner does."

We headed downstairs quickly to find the agent, who was on her phone making arrangements for someone else to look at the house. She asked the potential client to hold while she briefly spoke to us.

"We want to make an offer of the asking price," Edward told her and she nodded and spoke into the phone again.

"I'm so sorry, it seems the property is no longer available."

I grasped Edward's hand in mine and chewed on my lip to stop myself grinning stupidly as we waited for the agent to end her call and talk to us.

"I have authority from the owners to accept any offers of the full price," she smiled. "The house is yours."

That was all it took. We made an appointment to visit the agent's office the next day to go over the paperwork and later Edward called his lawyer and instructed him before speaking to his bank to forewarn them he would be transferring a large sum for a property purchase in the next few weeks. Once the meeting with the agent was done, everything would be handled by the lawyer and we could go off on our camping trip as planned and relax while our future awaited us on our return.

We quickly drove back to the Reservation, eager to tell my parents the news. Edward called Carlisle too on the journey home, telling him they would be rid of sooner than they expected and excitedly describing the house to him. I beamed continually as I drove; we had to be the luckiest couple in the world at that moment.

We had a home; we had each other; at last we had everything - just as fate intended.

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**A/N Once again, thank you to everyone who has read the story; I hope it was as enjoyable as its prequel. I can now tell you that the boys' story hasn't come to an end just yet. The 'United' series is a trilogy with Part 3 starting very shortly - summary below. I hope you'll stay with me through the final part of the journey. HL**

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**ETERNALLY UNITED - Part 3 of the United trilogy**

Jacob and Edward's careers are about to begin and a new home awaits them. Everything seems perfect until an event threatens to snatch away their hopes and dreams. Are they destined for heartbreak, or will fate step in again to give them their happy ending?


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